


Blackout

by CoffeeProse



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2001), Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Humor, Postnatal depression, Postpartum Depression, Raising a child together, Sexual Tension, Single Parents, Underage Drinking, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unresolved Sexual Tension, bipolar depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:01:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 108,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22943722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeProse/pseuds/CoffeeProse
Summary: A night neither of them remember fades into five years of no contact and no word of what happened to the other. When they meet again, they both have to learn how to navigate parenthood, relationships, careers, and school amid the chaos of their lives. Will their one night stand stay a one night stand? Or transcend that moment to become something more gratifying?
Relationships: Sohma Hatori/Original Female Character(s), Sohma Hatsuharu/Original Character(s), Sohma Hatsuharu/Original Female Character(s), Sohma Hatsuharu/Sohma Rin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13





	1. Friendship Backwards

**Chapter One: Friendship Backwards**

October

Saturday - 8:30 am

She awakens to a room flooded with luminosity, an overdose of brightness that she can't handle so early in the morning. She squeezes her eyes shut, attempting to block out the ferocity of light that surrounds her, knowing that getting up and going to work seemed out of the question with how badly her head was hurting.

But the girl is only seventeen.

She shouldn't feel like someone dropped two anvils on her head when she comes out of sleep. And now that she thought about it, she couldn't even remember what went down the night before.

Except...maybe, the glimpses here and there.

Of black and white.

Pain.

Loneliness, despite the company of sharing a bed with someone.

Fear.

And then...nothing.

The girl smacks purple and blue lips together, scrunching her nose at both the pain and unwarranted taste of morning breath. Shifting slightly, she suddenly becomes aware of a well sculpted calf tangled up with her own, and the smell of pine overwhelming her olfactory senses. She freezes. At a loss for whom was there with her, when all she remembered were bits and pieces of the guy from last night.

Was he someone from school? Someone off the street?

...was she raped?!

This thought shocks the girl out of her hazy stupor, causing her to shoot up; she's quick to scramble to her feet, taking the comforter with her and leaving the boy beside her exposed to the low temperature of her extravagant bedroom. The hot pink chevron pattern wraps around her small frame, concealing her naked body from both herself and the ox.

This was so embarrassing. And awkward. What could she even say to Hatsuharu? It all started off as a group project they were working on. Haru, Momiji, and she joined forces to complete a psychology assignment on the way different people coped with stress in their lives. Ironically, her homework might actually apply to her life this time; she was one step away from jumping out of her third story window as it was.

The girl sidesteps until she makes it safely around the double bed without waking up her classmate, before practically sprinting into the bathroom and locking the door behind her.

Letting the blanket fall to the expensive bathroom tiles, she drags herself to the shower to fiddle with the water and intensity settings, preparing to rinse away how filthy she felt from last night's events.

 _It was so unbecoming of a young lady such as herself_. She could just hear her mother now. If she and her dad weren't away on business, she'd probably be exiled if she wasn't executed first. She was sure to be shunned by her sister and "friends" if what she and Hatsuharu did ever got out. They all had snobbishness down to an art form.

"Look at the mess you've gotten yourself into, Someina," she mumbles groggily, lathering shampoo into her obsidian, wavy tresses. This was definitely not how she pictured her senior year when she begged her parents to let her transfer to Kaibara. Before, it was always All-Girls Boarding Schools, Private Academies, and the best of the best tutors. But she wanted to spend her final year where she wanted; public school. The only way she was finally able to coninvce them was by dropping the Sohma name, explaining that they attended school there as well.

And well, everyone knew just how wealthy the Sohmas were.

Her parents saw it as an opportunity to get acquainted with the only family richer than their own. Someina just wanted a taste of normalcy, sure that it wasn't as bland as her older sister believed.

But all of that would be ruined if her parents ever found out about the sex escapade from yesterday. She was bound to be shipped overseas so as to avoid tarnishing the Fujimoto family name. To them, it was almost a sin that she was working among commoners - because she wanted to - and had asked her to go by a different name so _that_ wouldn't find its way into the rumor mill. And that was only a job! She might as well run and never look back.

After toweling off, she searches the cherry wood cabinets for her makeup bag, only to smack herself on the forehead when she remembers. She forgot to grab clothes...

She was in such a hurry that not going around in the nude completely slipped her mind...nice...

Someina bites her bottom lip, harshly, beyond annoyed with herself for making such a simple mistake at a time like this. With heavy disdain, she slides the bathroom door open, and inhales sharply at the sight before her.

Hatsuharu was now wide awake.

Sitting on the side of the bed, facing her.

Sans clothes.

The girl's cheeks flush beet red, flustered by how unabashedly he was staring at her before she rushes back inside the bathroom and locks it again.

How was it that he was so calm? Doesn't it bother him _at all_ that they just slept together? And where the heck was Momiji anyway? If he stuck around, maybe this wouldn't have happened in the first place! Kicking something was getting more and more tempting as the seconds wore on.

"Someina," Hatsuharu deadpans from just outside the door. "Are you doing okay?"

What? Of all the questions-

"Fine. I'm fine," she supplies, anxiety weaving its way into her tone. She just wished he would leave so she could try to sort through this. Or, to start packing her bags so she would be halfway to Tahiti by the time her parents returned.

"Can we...? Never mind. Can I use your phone? I need to call my cousin to pick me up so that I won't get lost along the way." Oddly, the only shame in his tone is when he mentions getting lost and nothing else. He truly was an enigma.

"Sure." It was an opportunity for her to get changed, anyway. Speaking of which, "Haru, can you at least put on some pants or something? My sister might be leaving for horse back riding lessons late and she could see you."

At first, his only response is silence. Which wasn't all that great with how on edge she already was. Thankfully he gives her an answer of compliance and she can't help but sigh in relief.

"Thanks. And...one more thing," she says, more uncertainly this time.

"Yes?"

"...don't tell anyone about this. Please? Can we keep it between us?"

"Ok."

"Okay? Great. Um...the phone's in the hallway just before the stairs."

She receives a grunt of acknowledgement before hearing the sounds of rustling and receding footfalls, followed by the soft sound of her bedroom door closing.

October

Monday - 7:30 AM

5 Years Later

Someina races across the apartment, simultaneously slipping into one of her ballet flats, and searching for the last place she left her keys. After nearly stumbling, she spots her set of car keys laying on the bar, buried underneath college papers and coloring books. Someina finally manages to get her foot into the worn and well-used shoe, approaching the counter to scoop up the key ring and the Aladdin coloring book her daughter loved to scribble in. She realized that Kaiko certainly was an interesting one; she often gave Jasmine blue skin and red hair as opposed to recreating how the character was supposed to look. But in all honesty, Someina thought she looked better that way. It was more original.

After shuffling through the assignments she finished before her summer classes ended, she files them away in a nearby junk drawer, and retrieves an expo marker to jot down a few things she needed to buy after school. They were in desperate need of more sugar-free options; some chicken would do very nicely, and maybe with a little more effort she could get it to a nice even brown. With a dramatic flourish of the maker across the dry erase grocery list, Someina recaps the marker just in time to see her daughter bustling down the stairs and dashing towards her.

Kaiko's shoulder-length sable hair flies behind her as she runs straight for her mother, latching onto her leg and beaming up at her. Someina can't help but return the gesture, looking upon her daughter with nothing short of adoration. She truly looked to be the picture of beauty and adorableness all wrapped into one itsy bitsy package. Sporting her lacy, black and grey dress, tied together with a ribbon of white satin that cinched her petite waist.

"Mommy!" She exclaims, bouncing on her heels to receive a kiss on the forehead, to which Someina doesn't hesitate to give her. With a loud smack, Kaiko giggles and swipes at her forehead. "Mama, you slobber when you kiss."

Someina laughs, wrapping her arms around her and rocking back and forth as Kaiko balances herself on her feet.

"You knew what you were getting when you asked for a kiss from me. Don't act like you're so surprised, sweetie."

Kaiko makes a face before breaking the embrace, and hopping up on the bar stool with her short little legs. She was always such a ball of energy, despite the fact the sun was barely up. Children...they had all the energy adults needed. Adults really should be the ones to get naps, not the other way around.

"Did you pack a brownie in my lunch pack? Daisy was real jealous when she saw I had choco chip cookies."

Someina plants a hand on her hip, wagging a finger in her direction. "I hope you don't want a brownie so you can brag, Kaiko. That's not very nice."

Kaiko shrugs, sticking her lip out. "Well, she didn't wanna share a cubby with me in pre-school. Its fair."

Someina breaks into laughter, leaning across the counter to ruffle her hair, before looting through another pile for her Psychology text book. "Alright, little Missy. You can get two brownies. But I want you to eat the apple and not leave it in your lunch bag this time, okay? No more brown apples."

Kaiko looks to the ceiling, thinking this over before her obsidian eyes fall back to her mother's snowflake blue.

"Ok. But only 'cause they're red apples. Granny apples are nasty."

Someina was actually fond of green apples. Sour always tasted better than sweet; to her anyway. It was interesting how philosophical and deep discussions with her five year old daughter could get. Apples were quite the controversial subject.

She finishes packing her daughter's lunch by adding a grape juice box, and zipping it shut. She slides it across the granite countertop before spinning around and double-checking that her own backpack contained everything she'd need for her first day. Even though she'd already checked two times, she didn't do so out of a sense of anxiety for the first day of school. It was her last year of college and she knew this was the year she had to lock down connections with those outside of the brick and mortar of her university. It was a comfort she would soon be leaving behind to go play in a bigger sandbox. So, leaving a good and lasting impression on her professors through punctuality, glowing references, and great work ethic would be integral if she wanted to get her foot in the door of therapy and psychology internships.

The sharp squeal of bus breaks sounds from outside, shaking her out of her stupor and into action mode. Now was the challenge every year for the two of them, from now until they both finished school; getting ready on time, eating breakfast on time, and getting to school on time. Unfortunately, the bus was already on their street and they lived on the third floor of their apartment complex.

Quickly grabbing a furry crimson coat and Kaiko's cow backpack, she ushers her daughter out the door and carries her down the steps as she runs as fast as her legs can carry her. It was times like this she became painfully aware of how badly out of shape she was. The gym was calling her often these days.

Bursting through the entrance of the building, she dashes towards the bus and gets to the doors seconds before they close. Someina sets Kaiko on the black, rubbery steps of the bus, and slips her arms through the backpack. After passing off the lunch box full of milk brownies and a non-brown apple, Kaiko retrieves the red coat her mother forgot to give her, because she was distracted. This was the moment her little girl was heading off for the first day of Kindergarten. And there wasn't a thing she could do to slow down time so that she wouldn't one day grow up and take off. But she'd savor this moment when her daughter kissed her on the cheek before bounding towards the middle of the bus, and plopping down beside Daisy. It feels surreal as she steps back from the curb and watches as the glass door folds and the bus drives off until its nothing more than a speck in the foreground.

But her heart aches. Because Kaiko's father wasn't here to witness this. He wasn't anywhere nearby to watch as his daughter left for the first day of elementary school. He didn't know what she looked like or sounded like. He had no idea that she hated Granny Smith apples but loved Red Delicious. Or the fact she was a five year old with a vendetta against a girl named after a flower, but still sits next to her anyway. Her chest flattens beneath the weight of regrets and bittersweet feelings as she makes her way back upstairs, distantly wishing the elevator would be repaired sometime this month so she wouldn't have to climb three flights.

Nothing about Someina compared to the girl from five years ago. She was less delicate, though she still carried herself with the grace of a swan, all because of those years of lady lessons and ballet practices. Though she was still naive about what it meant for someone to make love to her, or to be in a serious relationship, she was no stranger to dates and boyfriends; not like she was back then. In the span of five years, she's been involved with the man that bagged her groceries, but was too immature to hold down a job; a man caught between two other women while trying to have an affair with her; and now...she was currently seeing a doctor. A rich, drop-dead gorgeous physician with a heart of ice that only she managed to thaw with her persistence and warm conversation. She tried not to find any flaws in the man, in hopes of him finally being the one to take her mind off the father of Kaiko. But there was one _small_ problem with him. He just so happened to be a Sohma and a cousin of Hatsuharu's.

When Someina gets back to her bedroom, she quickly slips a comfortable sweater over her head, bringing it down so that it covers her Lord of the Rings t-shirt, before she grabs her bag and locks the door to her apartment as she makes her exit. Down the hallway, a man steps outside of his own apartment, nodding in her direction before striding over.

"Hey, got class today?" He asks, shifting his glasses to the bridge of his nose as he flashes his cocky smile. Takashi was the type of person that would be dating three girls in one week, when he wasn't busy reading comics or playing video games. He was always trying to beat Someina in Smash Bros, but that endeavor was soon found to be impossible.

"Yup. Sorry I missed our tutoring session yesterday," Someina says, her voice pinched as a result of her embarrassment.

Takashi shrugs, his smirk faltering infinitesimally. "No biggie. I get it, you're busy. Japanese Lit is a pain, and I don't blame you if you bail because of the subject. I know you're legit so I'm not too worried."

She sighs in relief, expelling the breath she'd been withholding upon seeing him in the hallway. She really did feel bad about not making it yesterday because she was studying until she passed out at her desk last night. But...she also wasn't too hasty to be alone with him anymore, even for co-op video games. Lately, he'd been making passes at her, and it seemed like harmless flirting at first. But little by little he was returning home with less women than he had in the past. It was speculation and theory at the moment, but it might be because his intrigue with her became infatuation.

"Alright, well...can we make it up tomorrow? I have to run before I'm late picking up my pay check from last week."

He nods, holding his hands up in surrender. "Of course, I'll get outta your way. And I'm looking forward to tomorrow if it means getting to see a face as pretty as yours. I might have to fail more subjects than Japanese Literature."

She laughs nervously, starting the long walk towards the stairs. Right when she gets to the door, she checks over her shoulder to see him still watching her from afar, though he's quick to turn his head when he realizes that he's staring. Before he can face her again or ask why she's standing there after agreeing to part ways, she vanishes.

...

The girl that never left his mind had been his first, and he couldn't even remember it. Not the feel of her or the scent of perfume her body carried. Even the faint memory of her voice had drifted down the depths of his head. Into the abyss that straddled his two counterparts. All it had taken was one moment where he forgot to take his pills and it could be considered interchangeable with guzzling down cognac. Because it still lead him down the same road of amnesia that followed blackouts from drinking binges, or in his case - turning 'black.'

His girlfriend dips her head down and nips at his ear lobe, grazing his skin with her teeth in a way that demands him to draw in a sharp breath and his eyes to fall shut. There was no denying the effect Rin had on him physically. But they weren't ever really on the same wavelength, though they shared common interests. Even a few that involved activities _with_ their clothes on. But there was one problem, he was one of those people compelled by those different from him, which might have been why this thing between them was purely sex and gratification.

He rolls over so that he lies flat on his back and Rin settles herself on top of him, giving him that seductive smile that always managed to pull him in like a magnet. It was interesting how his body was attracted to a negative when he himself was a negative; didn't opposites attract? Shouldn't they repel?

Her lips slide over his, pulling his bottom lip between her teeth shortly before releasing it. She tucks a strand of her long tresses behind her ear, frowning as she speaks against the point their lips melded together. "My mom wants you to have dinner with us. Again."

Haru sighs, watching as goosebumps explode across her bare forearms from the air that spilled between his lips to her skin, and she trembles over him with anticipation.

It wasn't that he hated Rin's mom...per se. But she seemed to have it out for him from the jump. That woman was the epitome of a highbrow, and she detested her daughter's pick of a boyfriend. Though he never really understood why.

It only stood to be another reason to not be involved with Rin when he wasn't even sure if he loved her; or if she loved him.

"Rin," he murmurs, fighting the temptation to go for another round before class. "I should grab a quick shower and get ready. You know I have class today."

She scoffs, before nipping at his jaw in defiance. "Really? I don't even get why you're doing that in the first place. You're already a mechanic. You have a job, so what's the problem?"

He sits up, leaning on his elbows and she follows suit. "Because I want to be more than just that. Yes, it's something I've always wanted to do...but its not the only thing. I don't know. I'm still twenty-one, I might change my mind and become something else one day. I want to keep my options open, Rin."

She rolls her eyes, getting to her feet and cursing at how cold the wood flooring feels at this point in the morning. She doesn't even trouble herself to feel the least bit modest and cover up, putting her hands on her hips and glaring down at him. "Your loss. You could have me a lot more if you didn't go to school."

And with that, she snatches up her clothes and slams the bathroom door behind her. Moments later, the shower cranks on and she shrieks as cold water churns out of the pipes instead of the hot water she was expecting. Haru smiles at this. He feels wrong for doing so, but he can't help but feel just a little vindicated afterward.

...

"How are things for our favorite college student going?" Uo asks, taking a large gulp of her piping hot, just-been-made, cup of latte macchiato.

Someina exhales, seating herself in one of the french chairs between Tohru and Hana. "Well, I have class in half an hour. I wish I didn't have to sign up for morning classes, but you know how it is."

Hana and Tohru give sympathetic nods as Someina takes a bite of a buttery croissant, not bothering to use a napkin to collect the crumbs. "Oh. I _am_ considering a double major, but I'd really like to be there for Kaiko. I know its not a good idea to work, go to school, and take on another thing. I should be working towards lightening my work load."

Uo gives Someina a pat on the back, nearly causing her to choke as she gives a chuckle of agreement.

"That's the spirit! Slack off. Make bad grades. Party hearty. I believe in you."

Hana shakes her head, sipping from her cup of decaf in silence. After a few beats, she spares a glance in the blonde's direction. "Uo, you know that's not what we encourage our daughter to do."

Someina is unable to resist her smile when Hana references to their inside joke. She and Tohru were both considered to be Hana and Uo's daughters. They always looked out for the two and gave them advice whenever they were in a tough spot. And honestly, considering the hand they were both dealt, it was nice to have a little affection and care in their life.

"Um, Meina? You supposed to be eating that?" Uo asks, gesturing to Someina's quick-and-easy-breakfast.

Someina glances down at it, bobbing her head before cramming the rest of it into her mouth. Sweeping the crumbs from her hands, she plucks a packet of natural sweetener and tears it before pouring it into her sugarless coffee. "Yeah, its fine. My sugar's doing okay, I just have to watch my levels. I can't eat this kind of stuff all the time, of course."

Tohru smiles in admiration, resting her chin in the palm of her hand. "You're so brave! I could never imagine sticking myself with a needle everyday. When I was younger, my mom always had to get me through my shots because I was scared."

The yankee nods once, twirling her house key so that it spins in a circle. "Yeah, your mom sure was something. The Red Butterfly will always go down as a legend. Y'know, even though I got out of the gang, its your mom's advice to me that keeps me from getting sucked back into it."

Someina smiles warmly, tying her hair back so that its in a high ponytail, loose strands brushing the temples of her forehead. "That's so great. And its even better that you're volunteering. What's it like working with all the children?"

Uo snorts. "Those little rug rats are a handful most of the time. I thought working at a daycare would have been a mickey mouse course...but I've been having nightmares ever since."

"I suppose it is a better name than ankle biters," Hana chimes in, finger-stirring her nearly lukewarm drink. "I said that I would be willing to help you, Arisa."

"You can't read those gothic stories to them, Saki. It'll scar them for life and then who'll get the blame? Me. Everyone _always_ puts the blame on the ex-cons and criminals, just because we've done time before."

"Alright guys, that's enough," Someina cuts in, breaking into peals of laughter. "No more fighting or you're both grounded. I'll personally see to it."

"Who's really the parent around here?" Uo grumbles, slumping in her seat.

Tohru clasps her hands together, placing them in her lap and blinking owlishly. "I could fill in for you Uo, if you need the break. I love children."

Uo sighs, patting Tohru on the head placatingly. Whenever that girl got an idea in her head involving children, puppies, or anything remotely similar, it was hard to stop her.

"Nah, you've got enough going on with your bakery. I wouldn't ask you to do that. Besides, if you're not running the joint, how else am I gonna get free cake pops and lemon meringue pie?"

...

Kyo kicks off his shoes before spinning around and flopping on his bed, slinging a tanned arm over his eyes. The second that stupid cow (or former cow, rather) got back, he was gonna be hearing from him! The room looked like a pig pen, and if he wasn't somewhat wary of Kagura eavesdropping or catching wind of it, he'd tell Haru exactly that. She's cooled it a little since the engagement announcement last month, but he still had his doubts. The way his left eye twitched every time she was brought up in conversation attested to that.

Haru arrives shortly after, running a hand through his disheveled hair as he drops the keys to his bike on his desk and strips off his shirt. Kyo's eyebrow raises at this, but he notes with relief that the cow wasn't planning on getting completely naked in front of him. He wasn't _that_ stupid. But it didn't change the fact he'd just added his shirt to the growing mountain of clothes on the floor, haphazardly trudging his way to the dresser in exchange for a clean one.

"Hey, ox-boy. Mind picking up your thong instead of leaving it where I can trip on it?"

Haru's form stiffens, not long before he gently shuts the drawer of his dresser and spins on his heel to face the hot-tempered redhead. With a face as blank and empty as an untouched canvas, Haru scoops up the 'offending' object of conversation with his index finger, dangling the lacy black material tauntingly.

"Oh. You must mean this, huh?" He deadpans, his grey eyes teetering on a darker shade. "Sorry about that, Kyo. I forget that you're sexually frustrated sometimes. I wouldn't want to make you feel left out or anything." He shrugs infuriatingly as Kyo seethes from his place on the bed. "It just wouldn't be fair to Tohru."

Kyo slams his fists on the mattress, swinging his legs over the side and springing to his feet. "Lay off, idiot. We agreed to stay celibate until wedding night. Not every guy is a man whore."

Haru scoffs, shoving the pair of underwear into his back pocket to drop off at Rin's on his way to class. "Wanting to have sex doesn't make you a whore, _KyoKyo_. But you wouldn't know a thing about that. I guess I should cut you some slack."

"Why you-" Kyo snarls, clenching his fists as he breathes in and out like he practiced. After agreeing to attend anger management classes, he'd been going religiously and the program appeared to have done its job; that is...until his insensitive roommate decided to rear Black Haru's head this morning. Or at least, he _thought_ it was Black Haru. He could never tell. But there would have to be a snowstorm in hell, nine inches deep, before he'd consent to the fact he'd instigated their argument with his insults.

Haru yanks open their mini fridge to get _Asashi Super Dry_ and set it on Kyo's nightstand. After gathering his Physics textbooks and a few pens and pencils, he pulls the door open. "I got a beer out for you. Don't say I never get you anything...maybe it'll help you to mellow out a bit." Before Kyo can get a word in edgewise, the ox is out the door, with the keys to his bike in the palm of his hand.

...

The pages of her notebook curl beneath her fingertips as she constructs a juxtaposition of emotion theories in her Cornell notes. She thumbs through her dog eared textbook, scanning its contents for Howard Gardner's thoughts and ideals on emotional intelligence. This was the basics and she learned it back in high school her second year, having taken Psych 2. But it never hurt to review, especially if she wanted to make a strong case for IQ and Mental Age's affect on a human's emotions.

With a sigh, she puts away her psych homework and retrieves her notebook for physics. Getting a head start on homework was fine and good, but completing extra credit in another class _had_ to stop; she needed to draw a line somewhere and stop being such a workaholic. She didn't really mind the way her tendencies ate away at her social life until there was not much there, but it was starting to affect how much she slept at night. And it was never good to show up to work at a cafe' with bags under her eyes. It kind of projects a bad image for the business.

One minute to nine, the professor saunters into the classroom, making his way up to the podium that stood front and center before a large green chalkboard. Someina never understood why universities hadn't upgraded and used dry erase boards by now. She supposed it was because chalk was far cheaper and therefore, easier to replinish. But the fact room and board cost an arm and a leg - along with tuition - could only mean they were actually just stingy.

After retracting her black pen, she sets it down next to her other three multicolored ballpoint utensils, lining them up in a neat little row as someone takes a seat beside her, kicking their feet up on the desk. Her gaze flicks upward, landing on those black boots with chains and a few spikes brimming the edges. The top part of the shoe folds downward so that a plaid pattern draws the eyes away from the intimidating accessories. The footwear seemed to be familiar somehow. Maybe she'd seen the same pair in a catalog when she was shopping for her daughter's sneakers over the weekend.

Deciding to focus her attention on the lecture ahead, Someina flips to a clean page in her five subject notebook, and records the date in the left page to accommodate her dominant hand. When the professor begins to drone on about thermodynamics, a folded sheet of paper lands in front of her, where she'd already begun writing notes.

Her eyebrow arches, wondering why her impromptu desk partner decided to pass notes in class like it was high school all over again, dropping her pen just long enough to unfold the wrinkled paper and find out what he wanted.

_Do you have an eraser I can borrow?_

She sighs in relief, thankful that all he wanted was to borrow something. She wasn't exactly sure what she'd been expecting, but she was glad it wasn't that.

Someina digs through her bright blue pencil pouch, sorting through a plethora of color pencils and a baby picture of Kaiko, before finally locating one of three white erasers she always carried on her person during each semester. She reseals the bag with finality, offering it in his direction without bothering to meet his eyes. She decides its safest to keep watch of the chalkboard in case the professor added any more notes and she happened to miss it.

The man sitting beside her accepts the eraser, inadvertently brushing his fingertips with hers during the exchange before he rubs out the words he misspelled from his place beside her. But she doesn't miss how his fingers felt, and the way they seemed like a distant dream or memory, because they were even more familiar than the boots propped up on the desk.

Biting her lip in a way that often drove her boyfriends crazy, Someina chances a peek in his direction, checking him out in her peripherals. And when she catches sight of white hair attached to a pale face, she nearly flies backward, slipping out of her chair and dropping to the ground. Hard.

_Ouch._

That was going to bruise later. She just knew it.

There's a lull in the professor's speech, moments before it resumes and he continues onward, going back over Newton's laws and how it applies to thermodynamics. But that was college for you. Time waits for no man, and neither do the professors. Or, maybe it did, and her prof was just a cold-hearted jerk.

But the man at her side, whom wasted no time crouching before her, looks her over to check for any signs of injury. But all she can focus on is the way her heart is doing jumping jacks and the foggiest memory of a moment she spent with him five years ago; with her hands interlaced with his, pressed against his mattress, as she giggled through the haze. Her blue eyes refuse to look into his, because she was terrified of getting lost in that abyss. It had been so easy to do the first time and she wasn't so sure that she was immune to it now.

"Are you okay?" His voice comes out smooth, but concern manages to creep into the monotone. There was no sound to indicate whether he recognized her or not. But if he didn't, she couldn't blame him. Her face had matured and the only features that remained unchanged were her eyes, her nose, and her mouth. But they'd only known each other intimately for that night and she'd been banished from her family a week after. It had been years since they'd last been in the same room together after only knowing one another for two weeks, as acquaintances. It was easy to identify him; the black and white hair, paired with his attire, made him hard to miss.

Someina gives a small nod of confirmation, keeping her gaze transfixed to the floor, even as he helps her stand by taking her small hands into his large ones; she remembers liking this about him, because she felt guarded somehow. Protected, whenever they held hands that evening.

She reclaims her seat, the pants leg of his black jeans swishing against her leg as he follows suit. There's a rift between them that is gradually growing smaller and smaller until the lack of distance is palpable. Tangible. For her, the close proximity was like wearing headphones, wondering if he could hear the music she was listening to; only it was her thoughts that she was afraid of him knowing. Because she wasn't certain if she wanted him back in her life. And if he knew what she was thinking, he'd know all about the aftermath of that night they shared.

Breathing in and out through her nose, Someina selects a blue pen and begins to copy the terminology on the board. In the midst of it, Haru leans in and she sucks in a breath, completely panicked at the prospect of him doing something. But what would that something be? Oh. Apparently, it would be him whispering in her ear. That's not strange at all.

"Will you see me after class?"

Someina has to slap a hand over her mouth when he pulls away in order to stifle her laughter at his choice of words. He made it sound like she was a bad student and he was the teacher, requesting time to scold her when everyone else filed out. And if it felt like that...then why did she feel like smiling? And jumping up and down. Okay, maybe not that. But she felt far more excited than she ever had in the past five months. That was when she first began dating again...three boyfriends later, a man she'd had sex with _once_ manages to bring her to her knees with one sentence, in contrast to the three men she'd made out with on countless occasions, never once making her feel half of what she did now.

Maybe that's the way it worked when you slept with someone. Your body never forgot theirs, even if your mind chooses to. She could only hope her heart remained benched and never joined in the game. Though she had the sneaking suspicion that her heart would be pleading with her constantly, saying, "Put me in, coach." Over and over again on repeat until she would finally give in.

...

When class is over, after dragging for the past two and a half hours, Someina is quick to pack her bright pink backpack. In stark contrast, Haru takes his time tucking his books beneath his arm and putting away the balled up sheet of paper he'd borrowed from her in the middle of class. He'd made something of a game out of asking her to lend him things in the most ridiculous ways. Like when he took a red pen and scribbled on the palm of his hand.

_Do you have a pencil I can use?_

She knew right then, that this was just for fun. He'd just been using a pencil, which was why he'd requested an eraser earlier. On and on he went, providing distraction for a course that bored her to tears, but one she had to take for the final credit she'd been lacking.

And here and now, they were at a standoff. The back of her legs met the desk as he stepped in front of her, observing the way she pulled her lip between her teeth like she was nervous. Haru had no clue what he was doing, or why he was even coming onto her at all. If you could call it that...but there was something about this girl that left an imprint on his mind, and not-so-regrettably, his heart.

"Look down," he commands softly, his stomach twinging with anticipation when she complies. He takes the yellow highlighter that she'd gifted him with, his gaze remaining on her until she dares to meet his eyes again. And when she does, he smiles almost imperceptibly, before tucking it into the pocket of his jeans.

Someina expels a shaky breath, clutching her textbooks to her chest like she was attempting to create a barrier between them. "You like highlighters, huh?"

Haru gives a shrug in reply, though something akin to intrigue ripples through his chest like a tsunami. "Only the yellow ones."

She freezes, her mouth falling open as she matches his words up to their daughter's.

_"Ok. But only 'cause they're red apples."_

She knew that children could inherit personality traits just as they could physical attributes. But that was just a little bit spooky when she already knew that the man standing before her was the father of Kaiko.

Someina releases another pent up breath, shrugging her backpack on over one shoulder. She needed to play it cool. He had no way of knowing about Kaiko. She would tell him, but it had be a good time. He had the right to know and it wasn't fair of her to rob Kaiko of that.

"So...what did you want to see me about?" She asks, swinging her right leg over the left in an attempt to be casual. She fails miserably and careens to the side, catching herself on the edge of the table at the last second.

Haru snorts, but is quick to cover it up by clearing his throat. "Um. I wanted to ask if..." What _did_ he want to ask her, anyway? He was too caught off guard about seeing her again to think before speaking. And now, he was just floundering instead of maintaining the even, calm demeanor he was famous for.

"I wanted to know if you'd like to go out for...tea, or something."

He winces, mentally face-palming.

_Tea?_

_Seriously?_

"As friends," he adds quickly, scratching the back of his head.

Someina shifts from foot to foot, readjusting the heavy textbooks in her arms to get more comfortable. "I'm okay with hanging out, I suppose. I just don't care too much for tea."

He cocks his head to the side, matching her stride for stride as she makes her way towards the quad.

"Really? Not a fan of tea?"

She shakes her head, tossing a smile in his direction. "Nope. It always seems to taste too watery, or it has this bad aftertaste I haven't been able to get past. I'm more of a coffee enthusiast, if anything."

Haru nods as if filing this information away, despite having no clue why he was even trying to involve himself with her to begin with. Just because they had a one night stand didn't mean they _had_ to talk. Why was he making such an effort?

The outside air smells crisp and fresh, accentuating boughs of ivy and other vegetation that surrounded the campus center. The plants were of the brightest shade of green, sparkling with droplets of water from being tended to. A study group sprawled out on the lawn, surrounded by laptops and notes; a couple parked on a bench near the water fountain whispered sweet nothings, sharing a set of earbuds while they sat side by side.

Once they arrive at a cafe' just off campus, filled with patrons and pop music playing over the speakers, Someina maneuvers through the crowd and to the front of the line like she owned the place. Haru found that he liked that about her; she seemed like the assertive, take-charge type.

But what he doesn't expect is to see her go behind the counter and make her own drink. Huh. Maybe she actually _did_ own this place. He just hadn't figured out how taking Physics played into owning a coffee shop.

She smiles up at him, applying pressure to the black top of her cup so that it's closed. After finishing up, she fills up a cup of Café Bombón before making her way to the espresso dispenser, pumping shot after shot until the order is complete, and she brings both of their drinks around. He accepts it, curious and surprised that she knew the exact thing to make him.

"I can tell what coffee suits people if I know their personality to at least some degree. If I weren't planning to be a psychologist, I would definitely spend my days filling coffee orders and running a business like this."

He notes the way it appears split, running his thumb along the glass' ridges; like a compelling balance of two different colors, or different sides. The condensed milk sinks to the bottom, beneath the coffee, to give off the effect of how beautiful the marriage of different ingredients could be. And it is in that moment that he's struck with revelation. She understood him. Somehow, she got him on a deeper plane than he ever thought possible with what he'd revealed to her. At least, from what he could remember about that night with her. He'd always wondered what happened to her after she disappeared a week later. There were rumors, but he never subscribed to gossip. He couldn't help but wonder if the reason she left had something to do with him.

They find a seat in the far back of the cafe'. Its a cozy - almost intimate - spot, with a brown leather booth, away from the chatter and noise that derived from the most populated areas of this place.

Haru kicks up a leg, resting his foot on the seat across from him, and taking a sip of a drink he'd never tried before. As Someina crosses one leg over the other and rummages through her bag, his eyes widen out of shock. It had only been a few hours and she hadn't ceased to surprise him yet. He hadn't known what he'd gotten himself into by accepting the mystery drink, but he was beyond grateful that he did.

It was sweet, but it didn't overpower or drown out the strength of the espresso's flavoring. The whipped cream, topped with sprinkles of cocoa and caramel had him sighing out of bliss. If he hadn't met Someina or if she hadn't become this coffee connoisseur, he would have never known this combination existed; of that, he was certain.

Deciding to sip slowly, in order to savor it, Haru begins to get the conversation flowing again. "Since you're becoming a psychologist, I guess you take classes for that. But, why physics?"

Ah. _That_ question. There was more to her reasoning than just lacking a credit. The sole reason she'd been missing what she needed to graduate was because she took a semester off school to care for Kaiko. She was too young and too attached to Someina to be left in the care of a babysitter; even for a few hours. Getting through that time was difficult since she was battling with stress of keeping a job and gearing up for returning to school later that year. In the end, it left her squandering to take this one final class before she could earn the right to adorn the coveted black cap and gown this winter.

Someina fishes out her glucose meter and alcohol wipes, deciding to give him the condensed answer for the time being.

"I'm just one credit short of graduating. That and you can't really go wrong with wanting to further your education and learn something new." Even if it _was_ tortuously boring.

Haru's eyebrow raises - much like hers did earlier - as she lances her index finger, squeezing it so that a decent amount of blood gathers at the injection site, and it can be applied to the slide of her test strip.

He continues drinking his hot beverage, with an air of nonchalance as if he'd seen her prick her finger thousands of times, like this was perfectly normal for him. He tries not to stare, but his interest almost always got the better of him; he just didn't get what was so fascinating about her. Except for the fact she was different. Unique. And he happened to like both.

Someina waits a few moments, before checking the screen for her readings. "One-o-two...Not bad at all." After reaching for a napkin and applying pressure to her newly made wound, her eyes lock with Haru's again. She doesn't even look embarrassed about it; instead, she rolls her shoulders back, and stuffs the crumpled napkin into her backpack as if this was an every day occurrence.

She snags a biscuit, dousing it in gravy, before taking a huge bite. "What? Have you never seen a diabetic in action?" She questions with a wink, sitting back to gauge his reaction.

He calmly shakes his head, polishing off the last of his drink before setting it down on the defaced table's surface. His eyes roam over the carvings of boys and girls in love, not-so kind words, and drawings of a certain male body part. Apparently, the crowd this cafe' attracted ranged from teenager to college age, due to the immature engravings in the wood.

Someina giggles, clasping her hands together in front of her. "Well, now you have. Would you like to take a picture with me so that you'll remember this day? Its not often you run into one of us," she says, barely holding back any laughter that threatens to escape.

Haru can't help but smile a little at her antics. She sure had a strange sense of humor. Though he wonders how he missed it the first time around. Or...maybe he didn't. From the beginning he must have found something attractive about her, for him to wake up in her bed the next morning. Speaking of which, he did want to ask about-

"Oh no!" Someina yelps, scrambling to repack her bag and get to her feet. "I have to go pick my daughter up from school. I completely forgot!"

Haru stands, but is rendered completely immobile by her words. She had a daughter...? But, she was his age. And she made no mention of a man in her life or anything. But then, he hadn't gotten the chance to bring up Rin, either.

By the time she's halfway out the door, his brain sparks back to life and he dashes after her. She's desperately trying to get her car key out of her pocket while performing the balancing act of keeping her books from smashing to the concrete. Her feet leads the both of them to the back lot of the cafe,' where a beat up four-door sedan is parked, but barely standing. It inspires the mechanic in him as his eyes scan the body, looking past the nicks and dents to diagnose the heart of the problem. He'd have to get a look at the engine in Shigure's garage before he could know for sure, but he was sure there was a problem with the engine; maybe the transmission, too. The muffler appeared to have given up on the car long ago and fallen off.

She throws her backpack into the back seat, slamming the door shut before making her way around the front to the driver's side. Once she slides in and closes the door, Haru leans down so that his elbows rest where the window would normally be, and she looks up at him again. Going by the surprise and shame in her eyes, it was obvious that she'd forgotten about him in the midst of the chaos. He couldn't fault her for that. She seemed like a person with a lot on her plate and a lot on her mind.

She ducks her head, sticking the key into the ignition and turning it. She chooses to keep her gaze averted as she buckles herself in. The engine sounds like a dying animal, sputtering and coughing up dust from the exhaust pipes. And if he had any say in all of this, he'd be sure to take on her car as his newest project. It was hard for him to pass up an opportunity to work on a fixer upper; hers was no exception.

Sifting through his jeans pocket, he hands off a sleek business card through his two forefingers. Her blue eyes drop to it before she accepts it and tucks it into the glove compartment on the passenger side. No words about it pass between them, like it was a quiet understanding. He figured she wasn't too keen on how bad off the car was and he hoped it would give him a chance to see her again. Why he wanted to, he wasn't sure.

"Is there any day that would be good for you to stop by? First, I'd look under the hood to see what's going on and then you would bring it back to be worked on. I can get you an estimate once I take it up with my boss."

Someina's hands find the steering wheel as she flashes a smile in his direction. "That sounds okay. Are you open on weekends?"

He nods, explaining that the garage was open every day but Sundays. And their hours ran from six in the morning - much to his chagrin, at times - to nine at night. Although he tends to stay overnight if he's tricking out a ride or he's had an argument with Rin and needs to blow off some steam.

She tips her head, looking through her phone so that she can double-check her calendar for her work schedule. Even her phone is an outdated flip phone. No optimum operating systems or apps or anything too advanced. It was just simple and low maintenance. Somehow, he found the minimalism to be even better.

"I'm available this Saturday before I go into work." She flips it shut, her gaze sliding back to his. "Will this take long?"

"It might. To get a full look at it, I'd say no more than fifteen minutes. But if you want me to start on it, it could be half an hour."

She bobs her head, expelling a long breath. "That sounds good. Thank you, for your help. I'll give you a ring sometime this week to set up an appointment?"

He chuckles, twisting the ring on his thumb. "We're not that fancy. But if you hit me up, I'll jot it down and leave an opening for you."

She smiles. "Sounds like a plan."

A smile tugs at his own lips, but he doesn't do more than smirk. "Agreed."

"See you Saturday?" She confirms, preparing to put the car in drive.

"See you then."

He steps back, adjusting his own books as he watches her peel out of the parking lot and into traffic. He remains rooted in place, even long after her car disappeared off into the distance. A mixture of emotions assail him as he starts for his workplace, just around the corner of the cafe'.

Looks like he'd be getting coffee a lot more often, these days.

...

By the time Haru arrives at Shigure's, he barely has the energy to raise his hand in greeting towards Yuki. This day had him spent and broke, with the invitation to a dinner that qualified as a suicide mission, Kyo getting on him about a few scraps of clothes on the floor, and running into Someina to find that she has a daughter. If he didn't know any better, he'd say he was being punished for his misdeeds of dating Rin when there was hardly a day that passed by when he hadn't thought of Someina and how she was doing; or what happened to her. Now, he knew the answers to both of those questions and he had no clue what to do with them.

He eyes the shop, taking in the three cars parked before spotting the number he'd be working on today; it was a restoration job, but he was also being paid a little bit extra to trick out his customer's ride. Lately, being strapped for cash because Rin was always borrowing his debit cards without asking, he'll take all the money he can get at this rate.

Shaving cream was smeared all over the metal gray of his locker, handle included. All he had to wonder was who was behind it _this_ time. It had to be Shigure because it certainly wasn't Yuki's style. His were always far more complicated whereas Shigure's were more childish and unoriginal. If it were Yuki, his locker would have been turned inside out or something that required more effort than a little shaving cream.

Shenanigans at Shigure's garage were commonplace. Pranks and practical jokes were not only not corrected, but encouraged. It kept the job exciting and made it easier for people like his buddy Yuki to pay their way through law school without it feeling too arduous or tedious. There was one time that Yuki and Haru ganged up on Shigure to set him up with a blind date; the woman was a riot with her attitude and sailor-esque speech. She was pushy, materialistic, and rude. To make a long story short, the woman gave him a night to forget and went down in history as the worst kind of person. But it made for a priceless photograph when he arrived back at the garage to his employees, lying in wait with a camera.

Haru chuckles, coming across that very picture in his locker as he stows away his textbooks and gets out his oil stained navy uniform. He'd tried to convince his boss to change their colors to black but Shigure considered it payback for the blind date nightmare from before.

That man was even too lazy to be vindictive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter! This is kind of like a taste of what can be, but its only something that will happen if you guys want it to. I don't really ask for reviews...but since this is something that could be a full-fledged story, I want to know if there's any demand for it. I rarely run out of ideas and there's tens of stories I have in mind to take on. But I wanted to know if this is something you would be interested in reading, and if you believe it has the potential of great longevity.
> 
> 1) This story should never stray from its T rating.
> 
> 2) I'll try to ask 'fun' questions each chapter that relate to it so that way it'll make the whole thing more engaging and interactive ;)
> 
> But the most important thing of all...
> 
> I want to thank Bloody Red Queen Of Angst and SweetLiars for their help! It is because of their encouragement through feedback that I have become more inspired to work on this and post it, so I'm extremely grateful. Thank you! ^_^
> 
> Chapter Question: Have you seen The Hobbit and/or The Lord of the Rings? If so, which was your favorite?


	2. Daughter Of Mine

**Chapter Two: Daughter Of Mine**

_"I want your lips on me."_

_"Where?" Haru asks, kissing along the length of her neck._

_"Everywhere," she moans. "But this is a good start."_

_A heavenly cloud of perfume and cologne join forces in draping over the room filling with heat. Silky, shapely thighs clamp around pale hips, dragging them forward with the intent of fulfillment. Haru lays scorching kisses over feverish skin that ignites under his attention and devotion. A timeless amount of passion floods her veins with the strength and power of a relentless river, rebelling against anything in its path. Sweat clings to their bodies as papers fall to the floor in the midst of it all, soon followed by clothes and accessories that lay forgotten for the sake of indulgence._

_He retreats to look through his nightstand for something, though he moves quickly as desire grips his mind in an unforgivable vise that refuses to ease and make way for rationality._

_Someina twirls a lock of her hair, laughing as Haru places a knee on the bed to stabilize himself. "Do you have a condom?"_

_In answer, Haru tears a golden wrapper with his teeth, tossing it aside before settling himself over her. "Yeah," he says, voice husky. "Are you...is this ok?"_

_"Mm. Yeah," she sighs, her hands latching onto her magenta sheets._

_But that's all she remembers, other than dark colors and shades, the harmony of groans, and the harsh light that filtered into her bedroom the morning after._

_..._

Someina shakes her tank-top, fanning her body with its motions as sweat dribbles down the valley of her chest.

It had been hectic - even though she volunteered one of her rare days off - with Tohru and herself on deck to help Uo transition to her new place, moving under the oppressive heat of the sun. Hana was there too, but if it weren't for the veggie sandwich she ordered from where she sat lotus on the concrete of the sidewalk, she would remain silent as everyone else worked themselves to the bone. All the while Hana mostly monitored it as it was happening, like a Queen Ant commandeering her subjects.

"Are we almost done yet?" Someina pants, swiping at the perspiration along her eyebrows, trying not to squint. "Not that I'm complaining, but...I don't want to do anything ever again."

Uo picks up her nearby of copy of the lease document, fanning her friend with it. "You okay? You should probably stop to eat something, Meina. Don't want you passing out on us."

She offers a warm smile of thanks. "I think Hana might have had the right idea about takeout. I could honestly go for a sub, myself."

This gets everyone talking about all-you-can-eat buffets and just plain ordering in, volleying back and forth about what would really hit the spot.

Someina is swarmed by the excited buzz of conversation surrounding her, smiling softly to herself as a small breeze trickles through the area. If it picked up more, it would be kite-flying weather. Her absolute favorite time from when she was Kaiko's age.

She looks over a second before Uo uncaps her water bottle and dumps half of its contents on her head. Shaking out her blonde mane and breathing a long sigh of relief.

"Hey, Uo? Can I use yours?" Someina asks, gesturing at her partially crushed bottle.

"Sure," she says, tossing it and sending it spiraling into a flip that she fumbles to catch. "Oops. Sorry, Meina."

Someina simply shakes her head, proceeding to dump the last of the water all over to cool off more than the dying wind allowed. "And to think, I was going to tell you all about what happened just yesterday. What. A. Shame."

The beginnings of a content smile tugs at her lips when she immediately takes back their attention.

Uo's quickly closes the gap between them, grabbing her firmly by her uncovered shoulders. "What? Don't leave us hanging! Nothing exciting ever happens to you."

Ouch.

"That was rude."

Uo winces, letting her hands drop to her hips. "Oh, you know what I mean. You're Miss Prim and Proper."

Someina balks at this, caught off guard at how she looks through her friend's eyes. Sure, she shrugged off certain lessons of her upbringing. But she couldn't change everything ingrained and drilled into her from the time she could talk.

Someina hands her the plastic that doesn't really look like a bottle anymore, not even aware that she'd squeezed it as she listened to Uo. With a great amount of patience that only came with endless hours of her mother's dinner parties, she continues.

"As I was saying, something happened yesterday. And I have no clue what to do about it."

Tohru's eyes sparkle and twinkle as she claps her hands. "Does it have to do with Kaiko? Did she make a new friend at school? That's so cute!"

"That does sound precious," Hana concurs, delicately setting her hands on her knees. "But, it does appear to be something else. Something neither of us would guess or fathom."

Uo swivels towards her, hands tight around the beaten bottle. "Ok, now I wanna know. Is it Hatori related?" She pivots back to Someina. "Did you finally start getting all handsy? Aw, Meina. I'm so proud."

The girls start throwing around their speculations of what the big news was, until she finally decides to just blurt out-

"I saw Haru."

All conversations go dead, quiet enough to hear the sounds of the leaves rustling in the returning breeze, and the cacophony of insects buzzing around them.

Uo is the first to recover from the shock, her eyes bigger than she'd ever seen them and her eyebrows reaching for the heavens. "Whoa...that'll wake you up. Is he hot?"

Someina drops her head, kicking at the sidewalk with her muted green flats. "He's handsome, yes."

The blonde slings an arm around her shoulders, bringing a blushing Someina into a hug. "In your language, that means he's hot enough to melt a popsicle. _So_ , you planning to get his digits?"

Before she can respond, Hana asks, "How did he react to you telling him he's Kaiko's father?"

"Oh, yeah. I forgot about that," Uo muses, stroking her chin. "How _did_ he take it? Did he run off?"

Someina pales, finding it harder to swallow than to beat the heat. "Do you think he would? I was always scared of that happening if I were to tell him. Do you really think that will happen?"

Tohru rapidly shakes her head. "He couldn't! He is too kind to do something like that. Kyo told me that he's too nice for his own good - though I don't really get it - and he also said that he has great manners."

Uo scoffs. "He _actually_ said that? Didn't know Orangetop had it in him."

Tohru kneads her hands, smiling sheepishly. "He said that it annoys him. But I didn't want to add that part."

"He would make a backhanded compliment like that," Uo says, nodding. "If you haven't told him yet...are you planning to?"

Someina forces herself to grin, feigning confidence. "Eventually. I'm just not sure he wants to actually be in her life or if he wants to pretend we never happened."

"If that's the case, he's an irresponsible jerk, and will have a knuckle sandwich waiting for him right on his doorstep," Uo promises, a scary look crossing her face that sends a shiver down all their spines. Even Hana.

"He should support you financially at minimum," Hana chips in, breaking nail polish out of nowhere to touch up her nails. "Even if its from afar, he shouldn't be exempt from paying child support."

Someina sticks her hands up, ready to defend someone she wasn't sure needed to be defended. "There's no guarantee he'll say no to anything or jump ship. We should _all_ not make up conclusions and write him off as a horrible father when we don't even know how he feels."

"You mean a deadbeat," Uo suggests.

"That too," she replies, shrugging. "And if he doesn't want to be involved, then its better that we all move on. Besides, its been weird being around him."

It made her warm just thinking about him and his lack of school supplies.

"Weird how?" Uo questions, flopping down on the sidewalk, folding her hands behind her head.

Someina wears at her lower lip with her teeth, debating on letting them in on what she really thought. How he was beyond handsome. And he gave her chills with just his voice. And made her feel light despite what pressed down on her.

He made her want to dance ballet to just the way he spoke; slow and careful, a tone that serenaded your heartbeat in a tempo all his own.

He was more than handsome. But, he transcended something as simple as 'hot.'

She wasn't so sure there was a word in the history of language that could touch the beauty of his physical appearance.

Instead of voicing this, she changes subjects. "I don't know if you guys noticed, but I'm really out of shape. Mind hitting the gym with me a few days a week?"

Uo knows there's more, can feel there's more. But knows that once Someina has taken a vow of silence or sworn herself to secrecy, you weren't gonna know a thing.

"Fine," she says, shifting her gaze to the rolling clouds. "But I take hardcore bootcamp classes. Just know that it requires an oxygen tank on standby, and you have to have 119 on speed-dial. Oh! And you gotta sign something saying they're not liable if you collapse and die. Blah, blah, blah. By that point, I stopped listening."

Someina bursts out laughing. "Are you serious? So, how was it?"

"Deadly. I couldn't walk for weeks, and it took just as long to catch my breath." She jabs her finger in Someina's direction. "Make sure you carb up as much as you can. Especially with you being on your diet, I don't want you struggling. I care about you too much."

Someina smiles, though their sweet moment is cut short when Hana takes over. "Actually, Uo, carbs turn to sugar. She should ease into it and stick to fruits and vegetables. Also, I would join. But I do not sweat. Ever."

Tohru nearly falls over. "Eh? But, doesn't everybody? W-what about that day in gym when we-"

"-skipped," Uo helpfully chimes in, rolling her eyes. "She absolutely refuses to exert herself physically. Ever. Remember when she faked health issues so she could play cards with a bunch of boys and not run?"

"Ohhh, I remember. Poor Hana." Tohru spins towards us. "I'll join you both whenever I'm available."

"You sure Orangey isn't too busy wearing you out?" Uo jokes, smirking. "You should really take it easy, 'Ru."

Flabbergasted and quickly turning purple, she flaps her arms around as Hana patiently reminds her to breathe and Uo rolls on the floor in stitches. All the while Someina watches it unfold with amusement unmatched.

Well, at least things were normal.

...

Wednesday

Things end off peacefully, as it always was after the morning rush that marked the end of her work hours for the day. It was already Wednesday, so it meant that business was booming with college students studying, couples on dates, and best friends snapping selcas with their fro-caps. Someina was having a blast working new drink creations while completing patron's orders. It wasn't long before her favorite customer, just about to begin their morning rounds, arrived and asked for their usual. That translated to black coffee with a kiss on the side.

"Hello, Hatori," she says, pulling away just so she can ring up his purchase. "How are you?"

He nods in acknowledgment, dropping a large sum of yen in her tip jar, to which she grins in thanks. "Things are going well. I didn't stop by for casual conversation, though."

Her smile fades in 0.5.

Of course he didn't. She didn't feel right about considering him to be a stick in the mud. But she really hoped he would be more spontaneous and far less cerebral. Even when he drops by unannounced, its only to conduct business.

"Right...What do you need?"

He sticks one hand in the pocket of his slacks, moving back his doctor's coat in the process. "Dinner at our usual place. If you are available, that is."

She ponders this silently, tapping her nails on the counter. "Hmm. I should be if I can get someone to watch Kaiko. The last one quit on me."

He scowls at this. "How unprofessional."

"It wasn't because she was bad or anything. But she graduated and went to University. I understood that it might happen, I just didn't prepare."

"Aren't there people you know that could take up the position?"

Someina shrugs, tired from working on her feet and smiling until her cheeks hurt at cranky customers. "I have a short list of options. I just haven't had a need to use them, yet."

"But are you certain they'll be able?"

"I trust them. They're reliable and its only until I have enough time to get someone on the regular."

Hatori lifts an eyebrow, removing his hand from his pocket to wrap around his drink. "That's most unwise. Why would you not get someone else if you already expected all this? Use forethought?"

"I forgot, okay," Someina says through clenched teeth, inhaling sharply to regain her composure. "Regardless, I'm handling it."

She pulls out her flip phone, trying to keep it together. "What time should I meet you?"

He looks like he wants to lecture her some more, but smartly stops himself. "I'll pick you up at seven. See you, then."

With those detached parting words, he walks off with his bitter coffee. And Someina balls her hands into fists. Hating how she acted with Hatori.

But also hating how satisfying it felt all at the same time.

...

When Someina gets off her shift, she kicks off her shoes instead of lining them up by the door in an orderly fashion. She could just hear her mother berating her now. Not raising her voice, as that was _far_ from ladylike. But still practically screaming at her anyway with the weight of her condescending rhetoric.

'If you're going to remove your shoes by kicking like a horse, I suggest you go stay in the barn right there with them. Get cozy with the help that clean up after those foul creatures.'

Imagine how scandalous it is on her mother's eyes to not live in a ritzy penthouse with regal decor, and add in how disorganized and messy it was. That was basically a heart attack waiting to happen should she ever slum it and darken Someina's doorstep.

Cleaning wasn't _even_ a high priority in this moment, though.

For just a second, she wanted to rest. Prop her feet up and lounge on their falling apart couch. Just for a few seconds before she had to start on Kaiko's dinner.

She loved her daughter with more than her heart, and more than what her little body can withhold. But sometimes, she just wanted a sabbatical from doing the parent thing. And that thought made her scowl as guilt heavily filled her insides like cinderblocks.

She should be thankful. Neither of them was completely up the creek without a paddle. They had a spice jar set aside for rainy day savings. Though...it _was_ dried up by repaying whatever college loans she couldn't defer. At least things were finally looking up. And even when it was impossible to smile, she knew that Kaiko would smile enough for the both of them.

She hears a light knocking on their front door, dropping her keys on the counter before approaching the peephole.

The vision of her daughter paints mirth in her eyes, as she removes the deadbolt and unlocks the door, barely getting it open before she barrels into her.

"Mama! I had so much fun and my teacher Miss Kyota was so nice! And we got to color and I had a green card for being good the whole day. And I met a new girl in class. Only, she isn't called a flower."

Someina shuts the door behind them, catching her contagious joy and running with it. "Wow, sounds like you had a big day. What was her name?"

"Miss Kyota."

She laughs. "No, sweetie. Your new friend."

"Oh. Her name is Rain. I didn't believe her at first, because no one is named rain drops."

She smiles, slyly. "But people are named after the seasons and the sunshine."

People like Haru.

Kaiko breaks the embrace long enough to toss her backpack on the couch, and bring her lunch bag into the kitchen. "People are named Sun? Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah, huh."

She blows a raspberry at this information, hopping up on the only barstool that wasn't wobbly. "Can I have some goldfish?"

Someina cocks her head, thoughtfully. "I don't know. That might spoil your supper. Don't you want to eat the chili and crackers I'm making?"

Kaiko flattens her body over the counter as she stretches her arms out in front of her. "But that takes a mazillion years. I'm hungry!"

Her mother stares her down, narrowing her eyes as Kaiko stares right back. They always had these matches whenever it came to their equal stubbornness. Taking a bath, getting to bed on time, trying to get her to sit still long enough to get dressed each morning.

A minute, two minutes pass before Someina sighs. Crumbling as her daughter's lip trembles and her deep, dark eyes rip through her resolve.

"Fine, you can have a cup of pizza goldfish. But only if you still eat dinner when the big hand is on the five. Okay?"

"Okay!"

...

Once dinner is complete, Someina asks Keiko to wash her hands after checking that she didn't have any homework.

"Alright, sweetie. I drew your bath and laid out your bunny pajamas. Make sure you clean your face and behind your ears, this time."

She groans aloud. "But I don't even get to play in the tub."

"You can play while I start getting ready. But when I check on you, its time to get out." She tickles her, making her squirm and lose her frowny face. "Wouldn't want you to get pruny, wrinkly fingers."

Kaiko scrunches her nose. "That's nasty, mama."

Someina laughs, patting her on the bottom and sending her on her way. "But its true."

...

There's a really pretty chandelier that hung from her family's dining room. It sparkled rainbows and cast wild patterns all over the walls and the carpet. It was something spectacular, and the least Fujimoto thing they owned. When she stood beneath it or spun in circles as her eyes remained transfixed by the captivating light fixture, it made her feel...different.

Like maybe she didn't have to always live a plain, vanilla life where you only did things in a certain order and never strayed from weighted expectations.

But, something far more freeing.

Spectacular.

Someina scoops an armful of dresses out of her closet, laying them out on the bed in a disorganized heap. Her hair was up in soft blue rollers, allowing a few minutes to bake her concealer, while done up in nothing more than a robe and her nails freshly painted. They were a nice and neat hot pink, her favorite color.

She starts detangling hangers and outfits from one another, feeling a tad frustrated and unsatisfied with her choices of slim pickings. She and Hatori have been an item for over a month, and he'd already seen everything that she owned. He might as well have taken up residence in her closet with how familiar he was with her wardrobe. It left her feeling blue about how close it was to rent time being the end of October, and having nothing left over to go on a shopping spree.

In times like these, she desperately wished she hadn't burned that bridge with her family five years ago. Even though it was an exhausting existence, she always had her allowance to count on. Unfortunately, the reality was if she hadn't been a teen mom, she still would have snapped at some point and been hauled away from her home in five seconds flat.

Someina yanks her rollers loose, sending them tumbling to the floor as she finger combs her hair until its in black waves. Like the ocean at dark when only the moon was out to create the tide.

She considers taking a makeup wipe to her face and scrubbing off every last trace, starting the whole thing over when she catches a glimpse in the mirror. There was two voices she always carried around with her.

Her own voice.

And her mother's.

Hers said to go barefaced and natural.

Her mother's said there wasn't enough, and that she didn't even want to recognize her beneath it all.

Back and forth and back and forth it went until she wasn't sure what worked and what didn't.

That was the problem with her life, old and new.

It was the pressure of perfection, keeping up appearances, and surface relationships that would have eventually done her in had she stayed. And it still posed a threat to her sanity everyday.

Maybe that's why she liked Kaiko's different tastes in filling out coloring books. If only she had the courage to color out of the lines, too.

"Mama? What are you- ooh!" Kaiko coos, bouncing over to grab onto one of many cocktail dresses. "Are you playing dress up? Can I play?"

Someina smiles, her daughter unknowingly saving her from a pity party with her catching wonder and energy. "Sort of. I'm going to eat dinner with Hatori. Want to help me pick something to dress up in?"

Kaiko taps her chin, narrowing her eyes. "Hmm...on one conditioner."

Someina plucks one glittery, tight dress, turning it to examine the back. "What _conditioner_ is that?"

Kaiko grins mischievously, clasping her hands behind her back. "I get to put on your bestest lipstick."

"Cherry lipstick, huh? That's all?"

She nods excitedly, struggling to keep still. "Please? I will put it back."

Someina sets down the dress, unable to smother another smile. "Sure. Only after you help me out, okay? I need to leave after your babysitter gets here."

"Okay, mama."

Someina nods determinedly, beyond proud of her baby girl's glowing spirit. Because it was all in good fun and innocence. Whenever she did put on her 'bestest lipstick', she felt grownup. And she went around kissing everything in sight, just to see her imprint on something else. Whether it be a stuffed teddy bear, a pillow, a napkin. There was no stopping her once she got started.

But it made her happy. And Someina refused to not give her that. With the strict childhood of ballet, flute lessons, fittings, gourmet cooking, and being groomed to always appear presentable...she wanted the exact opposite for the two of them. So long as it was just them. If her parents or sister ever visited-

-Move over color, and hello monochrome.

_"3...2...1," Someina says, uncovering her bright and bubbly blue eyes, rich as a sapphire. "Ready or not, here I come!"_

_Her sister's laughter rings in her newly pierced ears, even though there were a gazillion, billion rooms between them. But that's what her laughter does. It never has time to settle before it starts back up again, staining your memory with its unique frequency._

_Someina throws open a door, revealing a study that had light from the hallway leave a boxed shadow from its threshold. She huffs, shutting it the instance she realizes its vacant._

_She opens another, and another, and one more until she's so tired of chasing her eternally laughing sister that her arms and legs go heavy, wishing she was having lemonade in bed instead of running up and down the hallways._

_Just as she's about to forfeit their tie-breaking hide and go seek, she tries the door at the end of the hallway that held her favorite things. Her mama's fancy, fur coats, and her daddy's big shoes that she loved to step in. They made a funny clopping noise that sounded like their horses galloping. And it made her nanny chase her round and round, when her sister wasn't around to be chased._

_When she opens it this time, she squeezes her tiny body through the gap between the door and a stack of boxes. Boxes that hadn't been there yesterday when she played pretend movie star._

_The light fades into the hallway after the door closes behind her, and she forces her teeth not to chatter as she feels around for the light. Tugging the beaded cord like a rope dangling over a cliff that she almost fell off into the dark unknown._

_Big girls weren't scared of the dark, she found. So she shouldn't be afraid of anything. Except disappointing her parents. She vowed she never would to all the coats and horse shoes in this closet._

_She'd rather run away before doing such a thing._

_Someina squints her eyes at the boxes, momentarily forgetting about the pretend clothes for the boxes stacked high. They were about five of her in how much taller it came to, and they all seemed to be crisp and new. Only...they were labeled in her mother's handwriting._

_She wonders what's in them, since she's too short to reach and she doesn't know how to read, yet. But she decides to maybe ask her nanny about it later, drifting out of her favorite place in search of her always-laughing sister._

_She didn't expect that box to hold journals that her mother had written about the days before she met her father. And how it shaped her from wild, risk-taking college student that lived to rock climb to a lady-in waiting that turned away her own flesh and blood because they did something wild, too._

"Mama?" The soft voice makes her flinch in surprise, turning to face it. "Why you look so sad?"

She forces a wavy smile, bringing her in for the world's tightest hug.

"Promise me you'll tell me if you're ever unhappy. No secrets."

Kaiko bobs her head against her chest, squeezing her mother back with all her might.

"I promise. But I want you happy, too."

With those insightful words that marked a girl wise beyond her years, she lifts a hand to wipe tears from her eyes. Having to redo her makeup suddenly not all that important.

"You should put on sparkly earrings," Kaiko says, her sage wisdom ever-flowing. "They make you look like a princess."

Someina gasps. "Kaiko! You're such a genius. Thank you!" She spins her around, over the moon about the solution to changing up her look.

To make the old new again, accessorize.

" _Now_ can I get your lipstick?"

Someina bubbles over with laughter, setting her back down on the floor. "Yes, silly. You can."

...

The restaurant they were in was fancy. Elbow patches, minstrels, and candlelight fancy. It was where the stuffy rich flaunted their 'superior' status around, and always had an open seat where others had to make reservations six months in advance for the very same. It came as a shock that the walls and table cloth weren't made of money themselves with the upscale service the place promised.

"Elbows off the table. Sit up straight for posture's sake," Rin's mom snarls under her breath, jabbing her own bony elbow into her daughter's side. "And what did I tell you about chewing gum in a public setting? Lose it as soon as they take our orders."

Rin makes a big show of slowly dragging her elbows off the table, making the silk cloth bunch and wrinkle as she finally brought her hands into her lap. "Maybe I'll lose the gum the instance you invest in a pack, mother. Your breath smells like rank green tea."

Haru chuckles, sucking his lip between his teeth to stifle it as her mother shields her mouth with a gloved hand.

"Hold your tongue, Isuzu."

At the use of her real name, Rin narrows her eyes into hateful, defiant slits. If there was one thing that she loathed above all about her mother, it was the name she gave and how she used it _just_ for the purpose of getting under her skin. It was why she was dragging Haru to this dinner in the first place. For the sake of hitting her back just as hard, and having someone with her to help her survive this grueling dinner.

Telling him that her mother invited him was a lie.

But it worked, didn't it?

"You have an eye for beautiful restaurants, Sakae-sama," Haru says, his features polite again once he's calmed his laughter.

But it must not earn him any points, because the middle-aged woman's scowl deepens. So deep in fact, that it looks like it'll splat on the floor at any moment with how low and down-turned her lips have become as he tried and failed to defuse the tension.

"I know that, boy." She sniffs, running her perfectly kept nails through her flawless half-down, half-up do. "I'm not like you and your... _kind_. I have enough self-respect and dignity to eat at a place that is to my standards. A mechanic like you that's _squandered_ and _wasted_ his family's fortune is only fit to look in this establishment. You should be thankful that your association with my daughter has even allowed you entrance."

Haru's flat gaze shifts to the laminated menu in front of him, giving him a focal point to keep his temper in check. Filling his head with useless information of appetizers he had no interest in just to hold his ground for the next half hour or so.

_What was he doing here again?_

**We're here for your hot girlfriend and her nightmare of a mother. At least we're getting laid for it.**

Haru rolls his eyes at the input of his black side, in no mood for any of it.

 _That's no reason_.

**Like you have something else better to do. Quit moping already, you're killing my libido.**

But instead of the 'pep talk' bringing him to his senses, its light and feminine laughter that pulls his attention up and keeps him from sinking lower, bringing light back to his steadily darkening eyes.

Someina just arrived at the restaurant with a dashing, much taller gentleman on her arm, their backs to his table. There was something vaguely familiar about her date, but he didn't care to analyze it all that much when _she_ was there. A complete 360 from how she looked on Monday three days ago.

The way her form-fitting dress - in his favorite color, black - hugged her curves and her impressive backside to end off at just above her knees. Classy enough for a bistro of this caliber, but a sexy finger-tip length that begged to have a man's hands there.

 _'Her date's hands,'_ he recalls sharply, coming back to himself and the glaring women that sat around his table.

This...was crazy.

The whole back and forth ping-pong match of what he truly made of Someina, the woman that waltzed into his life after he stayed in her bed, making him feel the happiest he had been in those times. Maybe...even...now?

No.

He bites the inside of his cheek, steeling himself and his wonky feelings that came out of hiding whenever she was around him.

Just to make a point to himself and anyone that thought differently, he takes Rin's hand in his own from beneath the table, and forces his attention on the heated conversation taking place. Not on how stunning Someina looked as she threw her head back in laughter that contrasted the dull atmosphere of this world he never belonged in. Not on the way the man he somehow knew but couldn't place, put his hand on the small of her back and lead them to a table that allowed him to see her face but not the male she sat across from. He absolutely wouldn't dare observe how much makeup she wore with him, and made the normally sultry smoky eyes look strikingly cute.

Maybe it was the freckles that dotted her nose and cheeks.

Or the small flame of childlike wonder that blazed in eyes that would look cold as ice on anyone else.

Though it could have been-

"Haru!" Rin whispers loudly, squeezing his hand with nearly all her strength. "Eyes on your date. The waitress is almost at our table. Are you planning to stare at _her_ too?"

He blinks in mild surprise, only now registering that he somehow angled himself towards Someina despite his efforts not to. He quickly turns back around in time for the waitress to collect their orders. Throughout the entire exchange, and the veiled insults that resumed right after the woman left, Haru was completely spaced out. This time blocking out everything else as he waited on whatever the heck he ordered, and to keep his thoughts from going astray again.

And when their meals finally arrive, he expels a breath he'd been holding onto for dear life. Turns out...it _was_ enough distraction.

Wasting no time sawing into his steak and potatoes, he takes a few hearty bites. He almost manages to revert back to normal when the magnet of attraction - that was on the fritz lately - commands him to look up.

And their eyes catch.

His hand stills in bringing the fork up to his mouth, and the mashed potatoes with chives fall to the plate in a tepid, sloppy pile. But it lays forgotten when her rouge painted lips form a soft and gentle smile. Like when your clothes are put through the wash and dryer and come out smelling like detergent. Its warm and tender and puts you at ease.

He finds himself smiling right back, both daring the other to look away, first. Pouring conversation into the other from across the gap that didn't feel distant all of a sudden.

And maybe its the relief he finds in her presence after the grilling session he suffered the limo ride over, the look of pity their driver shot him, and the insults he had before dinner. Or maybe its how intense and fast time was traveling now that they crossed paths again, when everything before Monday was going slow enough to fall backwards.

Whatever it was...

Made this night eons better.

Then it dies out just as fast as lips pass over his, fingertips dancing over his jaw like piano keys. And he feels a surge of annoyance when Someina looks away embarrassedly, her cheeks pink as she burned holes into her menu with baby blues he didn't expect he'd miss.

 _Rin_.

She releases the hold she has on his mouth, stunning her mother into flapping her lips like a fish as she tries to voice her shock.

"Haru," Rin purrs, her voice low as she spoke into his ear. "Tonight, I'm gonna make you forget all about my horrible mother and that chick you can't seem to take your eyes off of. But tomorrow..."

She leans back, her eyes voracious and vicious. "You're gonna tell me when and why you lost your mind, and thought that would ever be okay."

**Take the deal. Take the deal! Before she changes her mind! Bang her tonight, and grovel tomorrow.**

Haru toys with his bracelet, trying to avoid making a scene. "She's just someone I know. And we happened to look at each other at the same time. What's the problem?"

She scoffs. "What's the problem? This isn't some cheesy drama that you veg out on with your pants unbuttoned. That kind of crap doesn't just 'happen,'" she mocks, putting her fingers in air quotes. "She's probably the reason you're even leaving the house during the day. School? Yeah, right. School my a-"

"We're not talking about this right now," Haru says, leaving no room for argument with his hardened expression. "Especially when I know its always a dead end with you."

Rin throws down a napkin he hadn't even noticed she grabbed. "That's a load of bull. I listen to you."

"Only when I'm moaning on top of you."

Her eyes widen to the size of two planets, though it has nothing on her mother's reaction. She looks like she's about to faint.

"Whatever," Rin growls, snatching up her purse. "I'm bouncing. You can figure out how to pay for this stupid meal yourself. Have fun alone in bed tonight."

 **I hate you** , his black side hisses. Only quieted by the departing footsteps and the effects of his medicine.

She storms off, her boots clacking angrily as her mother follows behind her, calling her by Isuzu as loudly as she dares.

Both footing him with the bill.

_Strike one._

Haru digs his nails into his palms, staring at the abandoned plates for what feels like dragging minutes. Only to snap out of it fifteen minutes later. Looking up to see that not only Rin and her mother were gone, but so was Someina.

He tosses wrinkled bills on the table, about to stand when he finds a napkin on the table with a pen attached. He picks it up to read its cursive, finding it within himself to smile as his night ends on a high note.

_Meet me at the Ice Cream Parlor on Hashima district, Friday at three in the afternoon. I have something to tell you._

_Sincerely,_

_Someina_

_P.S. You won't have to worry about needing to borrow anything. I just included the pen in case I underestimated your need for supplies. Though there's always a yellow highlighter with your name on it during Physics if ever in need. Just ask._

_Sincerely and for real this time,_

_Someina_

...

Something Someina did love about late nights with Hatori and studying was taking walks. To be romantic and to clear her head and the heavy insides of her heart. But the one thing she was over the moon about, was watching the sky go grow lighter. How fascinating it was to watch each blip in the sky flicker away for the sun to take over. Like rolling a sky blue carpet for the grandiose entrance of a star that burned just brighter than the others that preceded it.

Tonight was only different with in timing. Both full of expensive foods that Someina could name in her sleep, walking off their full stomachs under the company of moonlight.

They were peaceably swapping stories about the day's affairs, walking arm in arm and side by side. Like how Hatori had something completely catastrophic happen with a cat and a very confused little girl that thought he was a veterinarian. He ended up treating a siamese for getting into a bush of berries that made it sick, on the way to his day job of caring for humans that were almost just as catty and difficult. Pun intended.

But even _that_ couldn't top the news she was about to drop on her unsuspecting beau.

She tugs lightly on his arm, earning the one green eye visible from beneath his beautiful and debonair locks. Though it did make her laugh a little at seeing him this way. You can take the girl out of the manor, but you can't take the manners out of the girl.

"I'm told my life isn't anything to rave about. Well, its usually just chaotic to wrangle Kaiko into a dress, or get her to go to bed when she's fussy and bouncing off the walls with energy." She pauses, realizing that Kaiko and work was really all she had. "Until Monday changed that."

Hatori tilts his head imperceptibly, never one to share too many emotions at once. "Monday? Chaotic? How so?"

She laughs sheepishly, parking herself at a bench she was all too happy to find. And is able to breathe a little easier when he joins her.

" _Well_ ," she drawls, dragging out the one syllable to stall for time. "You know how I had a fling back in high school, and how it was a one time thing that...gave me Kaiko?"

He narrows his eyes in thought, his lips flattening into a neutral expression. "That sounds vaguely familiar. Why?"

She clasps her hands together, coyly leaning into Hatori's side. "I maybe-sorta-kinda found out her father is in my physics class. And, he's agreed to work on my car this weekend."

There's nothing but thoughtful silence in the wake of her gravity-altering announcement. Hatori was unsure of how to voice the many things resting on the tip of his tongue as the world they had been building together began to sag a little. Deflated by all the unspoken prospects of the only man she ever got that intimate with entering the picture when their relationship was still hot off the presses.

He glances at his watch, then at the sky, the nearly empty park and playground. Then he sighs through his nose, secretly craving a cigarette.

"I see. Are you planning to explore your old feelings for him?"

Someina startles at this, her blue eyes big and wide as they meet his. "What old feelings? We didn't- it was never anything beyond a one-night stand."

Okay, maybe that's not _completely_ honest.

"Sure, we had coffee together. But it was strictly, absolutely, 100% platonic. Hatori, he's Kaiko's dad. I don't want to keep them apart. I never did. We should be able to handle this like mature adults and work out an arrangement that accommodates everyone in a way that we can _all_ be comfortable."

"Someina," he says, and she fights off the urge to sigh at how Hatori saying her name doesn't nearly move her like Haru's presence. "I think that you should do what you please. Yes, I want you to choose me. And I'm aware that a part of you will always belong to him because Kaiko. But, I can't intervene and stop you from sharing her with him. Even when I already have to. I just want to make sure you want to be with me. And that we're not wasting each other's time."

"I do, Hatori," she says, her baby blues pleading and needing mercy to quench them. "I like you, and I enjoy your company. You make me feel..."

Like what, exactly?

There was no romance that had her waking up singing, beckoning her to dance around her bedroom as she made toast or sang into her hair brush.

There were no hot, gripping, passionate moments between the sheets that left her blissfully sore and happy.

There was mostly just friendship as the main course with a few kisses and dates for dessert.

And the sadness of that alone made her heart hurt, scraping out the insides like a pumpkin.

"You make me feel, like my old self." She bites her lip, rewinding that in her head to check that it sounds like a promising thing instead of the epitaph of a dead thing. "So there's no need to worry about me and anything I felt or didn't feel when I saw him again. I mean, if it were your ex, how would you deal?"

Hatori closes his eyes, automatically breathing in the lingering wisps of Kana's scent of honey and rain. Remembering how she was a terrible cook, but a master at baking. How she always left the bed's fitted sheet half-on and half-off, and the frustrated pout she'd wear when it fought her every step of the way. How it felt for her feet to be in his lap - the nails painted tangerine as always - as they watched a Hitchcock marathon every Thursday night.

The ache in his heart never let up or went away. It never dulled or dimmed to a lower volume than a roar, always loud and in his face three years after their split. It was something that threw him completely when she left him and chose someone else. Someone blonde, younger, and more carefree. He was always dark, jaded, and uptight. In other words, she found herself lonely and lost in his sadness, and he couldn't hang with her sunny outlook.

He was heartbroken and merely getting by trying to nurse it back to health with each smile and personalized cup of coffee from the girl beside him. Looking expectantly at him longer than his eyes had been focused on her, trying to respectfully look her over as he held back on answering. She was a petite little thing, dressed in a way that made him proud to be seen with her and mildly aroused all with one outfit. While she wasn't voluptuous or remotely sultry, her freckles were endearing, and her snowflake blue eyes convinced you to stare into them always. Something he had to not do when he wanted to concentrate on more than what it might feel like to hold hands or to take their kisses beyond the chaste pecks.

"I wouldn't be so sure that I was over them. But, I wouldn't want to be alone with them in case I find out the hard way that I'm not."

Before she can argue that it would be why you should find out, he stands and stretches his arms above his head. Delighting in each pop of his back and arms, thankful for the way out of staying up too late he'd secured for himself.

"Its getting close to ten, and I know you need to see off the babysitter and get up for work in the morning."

She nods reluctantly, standing up herself and dusting off the skirt of her dress. Gaining watchful eyes once more.

He wasn't perverted like his friends, no. But he could admit to liking what he saw when he liked what he saw. Even though he was attracted to her caring nature and her physicality, he couldn't bring himself to give into being emotionally present when he couldn't even do it for Kana. He just showed up, hoping things would be different, and left disappointed.

She flashes him a bright smile that shines like a lighthouse, piercing the dark allure of his heavier thoughts. Holding her hand out behind her for him to take, smoothly sliding their palms together to interlace their fingers as they started back to her building.

And both hoped that this would all eventually mean something.

...

Friday

Nervous.

Apprehensive.

Tentative.

There were so many words that all could only describe one thing.

Someina was terrified of what was next. Though she hid it well as she walked through the doors of a local ice cream parlor, her hand in Kaiko's.

It was mint green and soft blues, retro booths and a juke box. Even the employees blew by on roller skates, balancing trays of milkshakes, floats, and malts alike as 50s music draped the room. She heard nothing but good things about this place when she first arrived from Tokyo, nothing but the clothes on her back and her broken spirit during a rainy day of her second trimester. They'd all been welcoming and filled with irreplaceable warmth, feeding her baked goods when she couldn't afford Italian ice in her diet. It was one of the things that brought her here today. She wanted to be enveloped in that same inviting kindness, lean on it as she broke news as big as this to Haru.

It was all coming full circle.

"Kaiko-cake, what do you want to eat?" Someina asks, bending down to her height and pointing with her free hand. "Look at all those flavors. They have neapolitan, cookies and cream, cookie dough, coffee..."

Kaiko hums, bouncing on her tip toes. "Do they have ba-na-na?"

She smiles, nodding. "Yup! You want that?"

Kaiko giggles and clings to Someina's leg, tighter than a starfish as she exudes with excitement. "Ba-na-na! Banana!"

"So, this is the daughter I heard so much about."

Someina jumps like she's been thrown in with a vat of eels on fire with electricity. His voice alone was chilling in how far it reached inside her and vibrated through every inch of her. She pauses, unsure if she can bring herself to face him and unsure of how to avoid furthering awkward silence.

"Mama! He looks like a moo cow from my farm book," Kaiko squeals, turning around the best she can while still holding onto Someina's legs. "Are you a cow?"

Haru smirks, crouching to his haunches so that they're eye-level. "I might be. Do you like cows?"

She nods, shyly rocking on her mom's feet. "Uh-huh. Do you really jump over the moon?"

He chuckles at this. Not unlike someone approaching a mall Santa Clause and asking if they really have a naughty and nice list. "Yup. And the dish ran away with the spoon."

Someina laughs, and ignores the nerves that try to commit homicide on her stomach, relieved of the break from his eyes being on her. His eyes were beautifully destructive tornadoes, dangerous in the way they fascinated you before sucking you in. With no way to take cover. And it threatened to cut her conviction and senses to ribbons if the lady at the counter didn't hurry and take their orders.

"Ready whenever you are," she chirps, her brunette ponytail swinging as she adds coins to the register.

At this, Haru looks at Someina, and she faces front. Pretending not to feel his stare or everything it tries to do to her.

Yup. Definitely an F5, and all consuming as ever.

"Yes, can I get a banana flavored ice cream bowl. And-"

"Psst," Kaiko butts in, tugging on the pants leg of her jeans. "With extra sprinkles. Pretty please?"

"Sure, Kaiko-cake." She looks back up at the woman. "With extra sprinkles, please?"

She punches in the information, before giving me her attention once more. "Will that be all?"

"Uh...I guess a sugar-free rainbow popsicle will do fine. Thank you." As she goes to enter this information, Someina summons all the courage she can to swivel around towards Haru. "You want anything? I might be a little short, today."

He half-shrugs, blankly skimming the menu posted on the wall behind the counter. "I'll pay."

She shakes her head so fast her bluebird earrings smack her in the face. "Not for everything. That wouldn't be fair."

He glances back at Someina, mischief in his stormy eyes. And she finds them somehow intense and inviting all under one amicable shade. "Its fine, Som. Money's no object when I'm treating a friend."

Som.

Friend.

Those two names. Those two labels.

They struck her dumb.

"Ok! That'll come to five yen," the cashier, Blue, says. Her name-tag barely readable with how faded the letters were.

Someina sways back and forth between her two natures; the lady that had to let the gentleman pay for things, and the side she was discovering that was independent and unruly. She wasn't sure who she should let win out.

Thankfully, Haru was quicker to the draw, and made the decision for her by whipping out his wallet. Forking over the amount, plus tip. And offering words of thanks when she points them to their table and Someina's words fail her.

She was acting like a bumbling idiot, scared of the shadows and creaks of a haunted house. It was ridiculous.

So what if they had a one-night stand? That was five years ago. They're in the same class, he's working on her car, and-

They're friends.

Yup. He said so himself.

It was fine.

After peeling her daughter off her jeans, the three of them take seats beside a large window where they could see the full stretch of the parking lot. People stepping out of cars, taking off in whips too souped up for the neighborhood they were in. An older man leaning against a coupe, finishing off a cigarette that looked to have already dwindled in its entirety.

It was good, though. The hustle and bustle was a lifesaver when it came to her forgetting that she was sitting directly across from the man that first had her. He'd only sampled what she was capable of expressing physically. But it somehow felt like she offered up so much more than she could grasp.

And she had one more thing to give him.

Maybe that's why she was so skittish.

She pats her hair, hoping it was neat and tidy after air-drying the past hour. She completely forgot to blow dry before leaving the house.

"There's some things we need to discuss," she says, making her back pin straight. "It regards our night together five years prior."

Formal was good. Formal was safe and revealed nothing.

Haru leans over to cover Kaiko's ears, to which she giggles and places her tiny hands over his.

"Som...in front of your daughter? I don't know if I have the balls to do that."

She claps her hands over her cheeks to hide their blush, nearly rendered speechless by him as he completely stole away her thoughts.

"Not that! I'm talking about something that followed..." Haru lowers his hands, Kaiko pouting at whatever game she thought was happening coming to an abrupt end.

Someina bounces her leg, clasps her hands, smooths them over her jeans. She crosses her legs and then uncrosses them.

Stupid nervous habits. Stupid anxiety.

"Yeah, I was meaning to ask you about that."

Someina's mouth drops open, blinking dumbly. "Say what? You know?"

Haru rests his chin in the palm of his hand, fingering pages of the menu on their round table.

"How could I not know? Your disappearance wasn't exactly discreet. I just...didn't get why you up and left a week later. I thought it was crazy at first. But, was it because of me?"

"Here you are," a geeky waiter sings, rolling up in the nick of time. "A Banana Blast with extra sprinkles, a Promise Popsicle, and a Butter Pecan Punch. Is that correct?"

"Y-yes," Someina stutters out, reaching over to grab their treats from the tray, and set it down in front of each person. When she grabs Haru's and prepares to put it in front of him, he accepts it right from her hands. Purposefully brushing their fingertips together as he takes it. Or, at least that's how she saw it.

She quickly yanks her hands back, and breaks open the plasticware to keep from analyzing why she felt so out of sorts.

The waiter does a little spin, one arm high as the other balances the silver tray with perfection. "Enjoy," he calls, skating off to a family of three not too far from them.

"You got it?" Someina asks her daughter, ever the doting mother, handing her the spoon.

"Yeah! Ba-na-na! Banana!" Kaiko kicks her feet furiously as she digs into her cold treat. Barely making a dent in the dessert too big for her body.

Someina turns in her seat to try her own when she notices Haru observing Kaiko silently. His eyes a gentle grey that cradled the one he looked at. It was sweet, and she'd witnessed it only once before. Which brought her back to their conversation.

"Haru," she says, causing him to train his eyes on her. "Have you ever entertained the thought of what your future looks like?"

He snorts, spooning up a lot more pecans than ice cream. "Its all I think about. I grew up wanting to fix cars or be a train engineer. I always thought it was cool to see the way everything worked. How intricate small, oddly shaped parts are exactly how they are for a purpose. That, they don't give a crap about being different with different abilities. But they all work under the same goal."

"Wow," she says, taking a small lick of her Popsicle. "That's pretty similar to the human mind."

He nods, giving her a pleased smile. "Exactly. But..." he sighs, stabbing at his already melting ice cream. "I haven't been so sure that its a job I'll always do. Yeah, cars will get busted and someone can fix them or just do maintenance work. But I want to see what else is out there. And look beyond childish aspirations. Its all I knew, but there's more that I don't."

She smiles sadly. "I know the feeling."

Boy did she.

He looks up at her curiously, bringing another bite to his mouth. And for the first time, she notices the handmade brownish-black bracelet around his wrist.

"Take you for instance," he adds. "Psychology is something that's never once crossed my mind before meeting you. But I feel like its something I vibe with. Even watching you work at a cafe piqued my interest in a way customer service never had."

Now its her turn to laugh. "Its not all glitz and glamour. Uncaffeinated people are deadly. You do not want to meet one. Trust me."

Haru smirks, unable to help his blunt way. "Maybe its because its you that its interesting me."

She chokes, hurriedly drinking water she didn't even know she had, while Kaiko lightly pats her on the back.

"Mama! You gotta chew your food so you don't choke." She frowns in Haru's direction, her eyebrows pinched. "You can kiss her, right? That's what you do to choking people."

Someina gasps for air, unable to process all this embarrassment at once. And even more so that Haru's grinning at the mere suggestion.

Someone just put her out of her misery, and do it quick.

He looks to Kaiko, assuming an innocent countenance at the drop of a hat. "Thankfully, your mom's gonna be ok. Where did you even hear about kissing choking people?"

"From Daisy," she says, though her scowl deepens. "She's such a meanie. She told a boy that I wanted to kiss him because he looked liked a frog. And you're supposed to so you can find a prince. But she lied."

Okay, this whole thing was so off track, she didn't even know where to begin.

"Kaiko, I see a lot of sprinkles left. You wouldn't want me to eat them, would you?" She teases, immediately causing her to snap her head towards her mother.

"No!" She cries, shoveling a bite in before scooting the bowl further over on her side. "Mine!"

She and Haru share a laugh, and it dissolves the anxious atmosphere like a cold tablet in a glass of water.

With a more collected outlook, Someina crosses her legs once more. And tries not to make a big deal out of the fact he was sitting differently, and his leg now touched her foot.

"There's something I need to address, which is why I asked you about your future. I'm happy about what you told me. But...I was really wondering how you saw your personal life. Family, relationships...children?"

He leans back and crosses his arms, this movement bringing her foot more firmly against his shin. "Family is not the best. But not the worst. I have a girlfriend, but I don't really care about settling down with a wife right now."

So there _was_ a woman in his life. Well, it didn't have to be the end. Maybe she'd be cool with it - as cool as you can be, anyway - and understand that he should be able to spend time with his daughter. She just hoped it didn't drive a wedge between him and his girl.

"As for children-"

She leans in, gnawing on her lip and fighting the urge to fidget.

"-someday. With a person that actually loves me. Not the nonsense of just warming each other's beds or the remedy to their boredom on Friday nights. I want someone that can have another opinion, be different, and still respect mine and my personality. Someone loyal and understanding of how I live my life, no matter how far from normal it can be. I would want a son or daughter, then."

How is that so beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time?

She admired and agreed with his sentiments. It was what she looked for in Hatori. Was _still_ looking for in Hatori.

But, how would he react to knowing he had a daughter in the now? With someone that wasn't committed to him or loved him that way.

"Haru-"

"-I was surprised when you told me you have a daughter," he says, causing her mouth to snap shut instantly.

He lets his paper bowl of ice cream sit half-eaten on the table, distantly staring out the parking lot. The man she'd been people watching had stamped out his cig, and was trying to bum another.

"I _was_ confused. But I understood when I saw you out to dinner with that older guy. I just kind of connected the dots."

"Haru, that's not what you think." She earns his intense gaze again, and she rolls her shoulders back. Knowing she'd prolonged this long enough. "He is my boyfriend. But, only for the past month. I haven't known him long enough to have Kaiko with him. She's five."

Haru nods slowly, but then he halts. And his eyes light up as everything that bridged these lost years between them, dawns on him at last.

"Kaiko's..." he mumbles, afraid of continuing in case he got the answer wrong. "Kaiko's mine?"

Someina's crosses her heart and hopes it doesn't give out, watching the thousands of days worth of questions flash across his every feature.

"Ours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! This chapter was a doozy! X.X
> 
> Now that the intro is out of the way, I can finally start getting into the good stuff in the coming chapters. It should get a lot less verbose and more action-oriented. So be ready. ;)
> 
> My Answer To Last Chapter's Question: The Fellowship of The Ring (Lord Of The Rings) and Battle of The Five Armies (The Hobbit)
> 
> Chapter Question: What is a food you've never had that you'd like to try?


	3. Day And Night

**Chapter Three: Day And Night**

He sits back with a grunt of surprise, his eyes pin-balling back and forth between Kaiko and Someina. Her promise popsicle starts dripping and pooling on the table as they both stare at each other in time rippling silence.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" He asks, a hurt look in his eyes. "Why did you leave me?"

She gapes at him for a moment, questioning his word choice. "Leave you? I don't want to be harsh, Haru...but we weren't exactly close."

He winces at this, fingering his bracelets again as he breaks eye contact. "Do you expect me to apologize for what _we_ did? Som, what happened between us shouldn't have happened the way it did. We both had something to drink that night and now we don't even remember it. But I don't regret that it did happen."

He meets her gaze then, demolishing all her misconceptions and constructing more questions.

Her entire body seems to droop, the piercing look in his eyes puncturing her lungs and making her suck in a breath.

"As for leaving...it wasn't my choice. I was exiled." She sits up straighter, needing something to rely on as the weight of this conversation sank heavily on her. "The moment my parents discovered my pregnancy by one of our gossipy maids going through my trash, I was banished to the states. I just came back here a year ago."

His adam's apple jerks at this, the faintest of faint pink in his cheeks. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed that you decided to just leave without a goodbye or anything. You're not like that."

Someina gives him a smile to let him know she didn't take it to heart, and reaches out for his hand before she can hesitate. "If its any consolation, I want you to have the choice of being a father to Kaiko. And even though we're still getting to know each other, I think she'll love you like you were always here."

He brushes his thumb over the back of her knuckles, his features softer. "You really want that? You don't mind me being in the picture?"

She giggles at this. "Totally fine with it. I mean, there are kinks we'll have to work out. But I think we can handle it. What you said about not wanting children yet made me think you weren't ready to be committed to this, right now. And that's okay if-"

"-I want to do it," he jumps in, his eyes threatening to raid the hopes and doubts written all over her soul. "I can't promise that I won't mess up, and I don't know what I'm doing. At all. But I want to work at it so that I can be in her life. And yours."

"Mommy!" Kaiko interrupts whatever moment they're having of holding hands and eyeing each other, tugging on Someina's sleeve. "I need to go potty."

"Okay, Kaiko-cake." Someina shoots Haru an apologetic look, to which he gives a nod. "We'll be right back."

They scoot back from the table and Someina trades Haru's hand for hers, being dragged at top speed into the lady's room. She ushers Kaiko into the stall and makes sure she's situated before exiting right as her daughter locks it.

Someina approaches the mirror over the sink and rests her hands on the marble counter-top, expecting to see a haggard expression. Instead, her face is flushed like she just had a quick round of something she definitely wasn't getting, her hair hanging over her shoulders in loose waves.

Why was her heart beating like it was just put through a race track?

It had to be the conversation that did it. Yeah, it was a major milestone that had been five years in the making. That's all there was to it.

With that comforting thought, she breathes a sigh of relief. And after Kaiko dances out of the stall to the sink to wash her hands, they push back towards their table. Just as they're about to pass Haru, Someina stumbles on a wayward paper towel. She falls backwards with a silent scream, caught by the waist right before she can face-plant into the floor.

"You alright?" He asks, laughter in his voice.

She simply nods, knowing there was nothing she could say to make this day any less embarrassing.

Its official. Her chances of keeping her cool around him were history.

He helps her to stand again, and for a hot second feels disappointed that he didn't pull her into his lap. Because _that_ would have made sense for them. And she was _totally_ sane whenever he was around.

"I gotta go, but I had fun today," he says, glancing over at Kaiko. "And I'm looking forward to more time with both of you."

She beams at him, bouncing on her toes. "Bye, bye moo cow!"

He tilts his head to the side as his expression softens, reaching over and lightly ruffling her hair. "You'll see me soon."

He looks to the blushing brunette for confirmation and she bobs her head.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow? For my car, I mean."

"Of course. See you."

"Bye," Someina says softly, watching him leave and falling back into her seat.

...

Saturday

Eargasmic heavy metal blasts throughout the garage to the point it practically shuddered with its vibrations. Earning the occasional passerby's curious glances in as to why a concert was blaring out of a car repair.

Haru laid on a black mechanic stretcher (also known as a creeper) his jumpsuit open so that cool air danced over the heated skin of his abs. It was all he could do to win out over their busted air conditioning system as he slaved over his current tune-up job.

He was sunshine that had the wheel while the dark moon of his black side hovered somewhere in his subconscious. Though every now and then between songs, he spoke up about having the world's hottest makeup sex with Rin or grabbing a round from the nearest bar to take his mind off her altogether.

As it often was after one of their fights.

Right now, he really just wanted to get comfortable beneath the hoopty he was operating on while his favorite lead singer roared in his ears.

That's when the girl of his memories arrives, her sandaled feet stopping right in front of him before she crouches down, tapping his ankle with a finger. He narrowly avoids bumping his head on the car above him, sliding out until their faces are just inches apart as they stare back at each other.

Haru scrolls his gaze down her body, until he's looking at the hand that just touched him. The nails were an unmistakable pink that he usually found off-putting. But on her...it just looked cute. And he also noticed she wore no rings, promise or engagement or otherwise. Though he was confused about why he was even looking in the first place.

"I brought my car," she says, cringing at the fact she was stating the obvious. "The lack of appointments aside, this is a really great place you got here. Seriously. Can I move in?"

He gives her a small smile, glad to see her making wisecracks while also wondering why she seemed to act like an entirely different person each time she was with a different person. They were like day and night in how they both operated. But the same could be said with the contrast of how she acts around Hatori versus how she acts around him. He just didn't know what this meant, yet.

"That wouldn't be terrible. It gets lonely around here at night."

He tugs on the string of his bracelet, wanting to hit himself over the head with his crank for saying something so...suggestive.

That's when she drinks him in, from the snowy shade of his hair to his handsome face to his toned body, and every dip and ridge of his abs that stood out like a pop up book. Hatori wasn't scrawny by any means. But Haru was just as humble as he was fit, not bragging even though he has more than enough muscle to back it up.

"Scream-o doesn't help?" She jokes. "It sounds loud enough to feel like you're surrounded. That's something I love about music." Her eyes shoot to the ground like stray sparks of a firework, quiet as she says, "It hides the silence long enough to chase away your thoughts. It can make you feel put together instead of so broken when someone pours out their pain for you."

He blinks in surprise, not at all expecting something beyond words of how dumb it was for him to feel lonely in a relationship. When that's what everyone else thinks will rescue them from that.

What was that old adage? About being lonely together?

"Anyways," she says, scooping up the bag she'd set down, the broken clasp on it drawing his eyes. "I have to run. I have a double shift tonight, unfortunately. How late are you open again?"

For you, "Midnight," Haru says, rolling up into a seated position and grabbing for a rag to wipe the grease off his hands. "I'll do a little extra on it while you're at work." He pauses, a little more nervous than he'd ever admit. "Is someone watching Kaiko? Or, is it cool if she hangs with me?"

Her mouth falls open, though she's quick to recover and blurt, "You're her dad, she can stay with you." As an afterthought, she adds, "So long as she doesn't keep you from being able to do your job. Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Someina was understanding of the way his mind worked, and it was startling. With how she could tell most of the confidence in his request was bravado and he was a lot more unsure about the magnitude of it. She was making Rin and him look like strangers or distant relatives. He couldn't remember the last time she asked about how he felt or what he thought. And it left him feeling hollow...like he was just a body to frame hers.

"Som, I really want to. I want to get to know her better, and to show her that even though we just met...I love her already." He smiles like he's won the world and it almost makes her choke up. Sorrowful of what she denied them for so long.

She moves the strap of her bag further back on her shoulder, giving a watery smile. "Okay. She's on a play date nearby, and I can bring her." She checks her flip-phone for the time, gnawing her lip sore. "It would make me a little late..."

Haru gets to his feet, giving her the full view of the many necklaces strewn over him, and the way his jumpsuit _really_ agreed with him.

"I can pick her up and we can get dango along the way. There's a guy with a dango cart that always chills nearby. He's great, and so is his food."

Someina pockets her phone, looking back at him. "If you really are sure-"

He nods quickly. "I'm sure."

She gives a faint bob of her head, the corners of her lips twitching with a hard-fought grin. "You're so not a deadbeat. I'm really happy."

He quirks an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"I'll call the other girl's mom and let her know that I sent you in my place and that you're not trying to kidnap your own daughter," Someina says, starting back for the door. "Keep in mind that Kaiko's allergic to pineapple and that she has an epipen in her backpack for emergencies only. You have my number if you have any other questions. See you later, Haru."

After she leaves, he rolls back under the car he's working on to reach a stopping point so that he can work on hers with a clear conscience. Because he was way too eager to take hers apart and learn everything there is to know about the make and its history. All the stories that came with used cars. Make out retreats, breakups, long soul exposing conversations, and road trips bursting with fast food mishaps and smells.

He didn't want to be invasive. But being curious by nature, and now officially part of Someina and Kaiko's lives...he wanted to know more. And fix the car, of course. It was something he looked forward to in each project he took apart. But something about this particular job infused his body with currents upon currents of electricity.

With a quick search through the hood and the trunk, he looked through the interior. Her console was teeming with CDs that ranged from classical to rock to children audio books. The wheel was black and fuchsia leather (a theme of pink he was beginning to sense, which gave him a strong indication that it was her favorite color). A panda shaped air freshener that smelled of pine and peppermint clung to the visor. Her seat was adjusted so that she sat up high and close to the wheel to compensate her shorter stature. And stray papers littered the floor of the back, along with stuffed frogs and dolls.

He was left feeling intrigued and a bit miffed at how little the car told him about her.

After running through every checklist a mechanic memorized, he found the Achilles's heel in the transmission - as he expected - with the car in desperate need of an oil change, and to swap out the tires. All very spendy unless he took it out of his commission and serviced it at a lower price.

He didn't mind doing it for his customers. In fact, he made sure to take one job out of every week and knock off some of the costs because he came from wealth and only did this job because he liked it. And it gave him security while he made decisions of where he wanted to take his life.

So helping Someina out at less than half was fine to him.

It was right.

After he steps out on his lunch break, he sets off towards the address Someina texted him. Not expecting to be giving piggy back rides and playing pin-the-tail-on-the-moo-cow in the process.

Those children were more than rowdy.

They were animals.

...

Haru manages to sneak out and avoid the chorus of no's he was sure to receive had someone caught him. Those children loved him and didn't want to let go. Right now, though, he just wanted one on one time with his daughter. They had five years of catching up to do.

Haru lifts Kaiko up higher with a bounce, causing her to giggle and cling tighter to him than he thought someone so tiny could. It made him wonder if Som had any hidden strength to tap into.

"Kaiko, you like dango?" He asks, jostling her feet until she laughs again. "Or do you only like things with _lots_ of sprinkles?"

She brings her little chubby hand up to her chin in thought, something she picked up from all the hours of being around her studious mom and her boyfriend.

"Yes!" She throws her hands up, before bringing them back around him. "It rhymes with Kaiko. I like it even if sprinkles _do_ come from unicorns and not dango."

"Unicorns?" Haru mock gasps. "You know, I met one once."

Kaiko bounces excitedly, her black curls tumbling wildly. "What was her name? What did she look like?"

He plasters on a pensive look of his own, trying to keep from smiling. "Pretty sure her name was Princess Pony."

"No!" Kaiko shouts indignantly, tugging his hair with one little hand. "If you meet one, it would be named something else."

"Oh? Like what?"

"Um...Unicorn Drizzle! It has to have pizza."

"Pizza?" He echoes, right before understanding hits him. " _Oh_ , you mean pizazz."

"Yeah!" She huffs. "That's what I'm saying."

He chuckles, stopping at the metallic cart that was parked between two of the least bustling streets in all of the country. He didn't understand why - from a business standpoint- the owner would choose this location. But hey, its not his business.

"Ah! Haru," the man cheers, clapping his hands together. "Good to have you back around."

Haru gives a nod of acknowledgement. "Yup. Can we get two of the chef's recommendation?"

The man plays along, scratching at his stubble in thought. "Let's see...the dango is pretty popular with the hotties and the men. I hear its all the rage on these busy streets."

Haru smirks, lowering Kaiko to the sidewalk to fish out his wallet. "We'll take that, then." He forks over the amount, plus a little extra and is thanked with a grin.

"You know...you look like the type to not keep a picture or two of your loved ones in your wallet. But I think you have the sentimental heart to do so."

Haru arches an eyebrow, gently grabbing Kaiko by the waist when she tries to run off. "Why do you say that?"

The man shrugs, finishing up with prep and serving up two dango on a stick for his most loyal customer and daughter. "Because I'd hate to see people forget or take for granted their special people. You can use their pictures for your phone wallpaper, but it just doesn't have the same value as an old photograph that means the world to you right next to the thing that matters most to the world."

"Which is?"

"Money," he answers, smiling brightly at Kaiko. "Do you like it?"

She takes a bite and coos at its flavors, too caught up in eating to say anything. The man just laughs good-naturedly before putting out an 'out to lunch sign.'

"Anyways, its time for me to get my grub on. Enjoy."

...

When Haru and Kaiko arrive back at the garage after a tireless debate over what's the best candy (Nerds or Skittles), Haru waves Yuki over, causing him to drop his work materials into his toolbox before they meet in the middle.

"Are you here to trade off again, Haru?" Yuki asks, his eyes gravitating towards the girl now seated at Haru's feet. "Who's this?"

Haru rubs his neck, smiling a little sheepishly. "My daughter, Kaiko."

Yuki's purple eyes enlarge like balloons fit to burst, his hands falling at his sides. "You and Rin have a child together? This is the first I'm hearing of this."

"No," he counters, appalled that he would even think that was possible. "Rin hates kids. And you know I tell you everything first."

"Hate is a bad word," Kaiko chips in, twirling her hair. "Mama said we not supposed to use it or we get put in the timeout basket."

"Basket?" Haru questions. "Don't you mean chair?"

"Nope," she says, her lips popping on the 'p'. "A basket is what mama uses so I can't leave early. She caught me." With this admittance, she breaks into another giggle fit. And Haru can't help but shake his head. Just what crazy, beautiful family did he get himself mixed up in?

"Wait..." Yuki's eyes narrow with skepticism. "This isn't another one of your pranks, is it? Because this would be both equivocally impressive and slightly unbelievable."

"No, its not." Haru smirks. "I already have one in play. And I'm looking forward to seeing how Shigure reacts when he wakes up to find his entire fridge swapped out with his smutty books when his date comes over."

Yuki shakes his head, though even he's having a hard time keeping a straight face. "That is most certainly ingenious. But, might I make a suggestion?"

"What?"

"What if...as a follow-up, we redecorate his room beforehand? Make it suit his inner child."

Haru folds his arms, his eyes alight with mischief. "Give him a princess nightlight and change his bedding out with Dora The Explorer comforters?"

"I couldn't propose anything better."

Haru reaches over and slaps Yuki on the back, just refraining from laughing his head off at the imaginings of the look on Shigure's face when he came home to see that.

"We should team up more often on these. Maybe tag Kyo a time or two."

Yuki smiles deviously. "If its that baka, I'm always willing."

"You know, that could be easily misconstrued if someone were to walk by and hear you say that." Haru arches an eyebrow, giving a teasing nudge in the ribs.

He rolls his eyes, and does it again when Haru makes a big deal of how unnatural it seemed for him to do so. As he finishes packing away the rest of his things, he prepares to make his exit.

"We should talk about this over a glass of wine the next night you're free," Yuki says, rolling up his sleeves and swiping at the oil on his cheeks.

"One of these days I'm gonna make a beer man out of you, yet," Haru jokes.

His friend scoffs in answer. "That fool must be rubbing off on you. Leave it to that ignoramus to guzzle that down. He'll have a beer belly before he's 26."

Haru laughs, gradually dragging towards his station with Kaiko holding onto him for dear life as he does. But for some reason, he doesn't find himself minding it at all. Maybe because he wished it could have always been this way. Even though he wasn't so sure he could handle anything else that came with being a parent. Maybe it just hadn't sunk in and it felt simple in the first hour.

Like a free trial or something.

"I'm leaving to go prep for the bar," Yuki calls, hoisting up his bag with a swoop. "Thanks for the help on one of your days off. It means a lot."

"No problem. Call me if you and Machi would ever want to double on our next date. I'm sure Rin would be thrilled."

Yuki chuckles, very accustomed to his sarcasm in the lifetime they've been best friends. They were each other's first pick of best man at each other's weddings, and godfathers of any children. He supposed it was a lot more real now.

"We'll double the day you try chateau and I taste beer."

"Deal."

Yuki tosses a farewell over his shoulder as he leaves, and Kaiko babbles the same right back.

"Bye Mickey Mouse!"

Haru snorts. "Why do you call him Mickey Mouse?"

" _Because_ , he sounds like him when he talks."

He considers this for a moment, before shrugging.

"Fair enough. Now, do you wanna see your first engine?"

Kaiko jumps up and down like Momiji on steroids, her grey eyes bright with anticipation.

"Vroom! Vroom!" She chants.

...

The next evening, Someina slips off her shoes at the entrance, picking them up and gently lining them next to a pair of sneakers and brown flip-flops.

Takashi was on a bit of a sleazy streak as of late, but he never failed to follow traditions like removing your shoes upon entering the house.

How can one be proper and a womanizer all in one body?

"Want some vodka and apple juice?" He asks, holding his fridge open and peering inside. "It goes great with the pie my roommate bought last week."

Last week?

Pass.

It might not have mold, but it could be nasty mush for all she knew. Definitely not remotely edible.

"No thank you," Someina says with a tight smile, moving in to seat herself at the table with her three Japanese Lit textbooks. "Did you get a head start on your term paper?"

He settles on a bottle of grape soda, bringing it and a bowl of buttery popcorn over to sit down across from her. "What? You mean the one about that old man hiking up a mountain and dying?"

"Yes."

"Nope," he answers, leaning his head back and throwing a kernel up in the air. Catching it in his mouth. He looks back at her like a yelping puppy, all excited eyes and practically panting. If he had a tail, it would surely wag.

"Very...impressive," She says, hoping to move onto bigger things. Like his D in this class. "Since you haven't started, I'll help you." She grabs a piece of paper from her binder, jotting down first draft and his name. "What is your thesis?"

He leans the chair back on two legs and shovels in another handful. "That he was suffering an early case of dementia and couldn't tell a mountain from stairs in his house. You study psych, right? Does that not sound plausible?"

Um...what?

"An interesting and creative interpretation. But entirely incorrect. You missed the moral of the story as a whole." She pinches the bridge of her nose to not whack him over the head with heavy books, knowing it's not so polite. "Did you really read this? Or did you use highlight notes?"

He falls forward on all four chair legs, pink in his cheeks. "Yeah, but...I saw the movie, too."

Wow.

Someina doesn't even bother wasting her breath on the irresponsibility of using notes on the internet and the blatant ignorance of thinking a movie would suffice for _school_. They take artistic license and change things, and most movies based on books stray from the original.

Again, no more time could be wasted when it could be spent giving him tips of how to meet the deadline with his zero word count.

"You can take an hour to read through it, and then we will brainstorm what your paper will be about. Okay?"

He smirks, leaning in with grape soda mustache on his lips. "You got it, baby."

Five minutes pass of reviewing her own psychology notes for an upcoming exam, when he shakes her by the shoulder, snapping her out of focus. "Hey, you got a boyfriend?"

She bites back an aggravated sigh, really not wanting to be hit on, and especially not when she was always on a time constraint.

"Takashi, I'm only here to help you bring your grades up. Please don't make me have to quit."

He holds up his hands, his glasses sliding to the bridge of his nose. "Hey, hey...relax. I'm just trying to get you to loosen up. You're always so serious."

This gives her pause. Because it was something she was thinking about constantly these days. About the many faces she wore around different people.

Was it so wrong to talk the talk and walk the walk of those she spent time with? It made conversation significantly effortless and easy when she went along with them. She only drew the line with Takashi because she was sticking her neck out for a little financial help in exchange.

"I'm sorry," Someina says, folding up her study guide and tucking it into her bag. "I didn't mean to snap at you. I just really need you to stay focused so we can get things done. I didn't mean to come off as a nag or anything."

He moves his head back and forth, and she can almost see the thoughts bouncing around in his head.

He finally stops, smiling with all his teeth on full display. "Its all good. You know, you're pretty hot for such a smart person. You're wasting your looks in frowning all the time."

She bangs her head against the stack of textbooks, over and over and over again.

This was going to be an all-nighter.

...

Someina rolls over in her bed that was too warm and too comfortable to be real. She snuggles deeper into her mountain of blankets and sheets, mumbling about the sound of someone in the shower waking her up.

Wait, who would-

She wakes with a start, throwing off her covers and flinging her body out of bed to race to the bathroom. When she arrives, she sees that the shower is still as empty and cluttered as is the norm, and instead splashes water onto her face from the sink to wake up. As she faces her reflection from behind the yellow towel she dries off with, she notices sleep marks and dark circles, two things that had to be fixed before showing up for work.

At a slightly sluggish speed, she goes through her makeup bag in search of foundation and concealer, only to suddenly stop breathing.

The clock hanging overhead pulls her gaze, and air rushes back inside her to be shoved right back out when she gets a look at the time.

She's running half an hour late.

She overslept after last night's tutoring session.

Throwing the thought of doing her makeup aside, she quickly turns the hot and cold water on in the shower, zipping across the apartment as what she recognizes to be downpour sounds from outside. Great. Not only would she have to take Kaiko to school in the long car line and contend with two annoying four-way stops, she'd have to do it all in the company of slick roads, slow drivers, and low visibility. Let's just hope her car wasn't so shot that it would hydroplane.

"Kaiko!" Someina hollers, throwing the door open and wanting to sob when she sees her daughter is still very much asleep. She shakes her awake as gently as possible, earning fussy noises and a swift kick to her thigh as Kaiko turns over on her side.

"That hurt mommy, Kaiko. And it doesn't keep you from having to get up. No matter how hard you fight me." Someina rips the blanket off and Kaiko shivers, feeling around for it as her hair sticks out in all directions.

"I'm cold. Leave me alone," she whines, curling up into a ball like a kitten.

Someina drops the blanket on the floor, folding her arms and tapping her foot. "I know you're cranky in the mornings. I am, too. But by the time I check on you again, you better be dressed, have your hair and teeth brushed, and your shoes on. I'll give you lunch money since I don't have time to make it today."

At this, she bolts up, becoming perky and energized on a dime. "Does that mean I can have pizza and a cookie from the snack hut?"

"Only if you get ready fast."

Kaiko springs into motion, pulling out drawer after drawer for a shirt and overalls that she has her mom inspect for cleanliness before hurrying into the bathroom and shutting the door. Someina does the same and hops into her shower, with no time to think or frown or even breathe. Despite her head not always being screwed on so tight when it came to upkeep with her car or home, few things put her in a foul mood more than being late. The anxiety that came with making people upset or getting behind set her on edge, and made her irritated the entire drive to the school. Her hands gripped the steering wheel she took off after each stop, sighing and grumbling every time Someina got behind someone slow, or was tailed by another person that didn't get the concept of more distance on days like these.

By the time she's handed Kaiko lunch money and started to speed off towards work...Someina recalls that she forgot her uniform.

She bashes her head against the wheel three times or four times at the red light before it turns green and she makes a quick U-turn to go back home.

...

When Someina got back home, she was far from dripping in sunshine and gold, glowing paint with a happy tune in her heart. On the contrary, she was soaked to the skin in her magenta blouse, grey miniskirt, and flats. As she tossed her keys on the counter and sloshed to the bathroom, she flicks on the light switch to examine her mess of drenched hair, water dripping its way down the top that she actually splurged for. One that she found cute and was excited to show off. Unfortunately, it was killed dead before it got the chance.

Someina rummages through her mess of curling wand, flat iron, loose bobby pins, hairspray, and hair dress until she found her silver hair dryer buried beneath. In a heat wave of frustration and anger, she shoves the fat plug into the outlet and turns it on, causing the lights to dim with all the power it sucks from the source.

As she rakes it through her locks, she vents under her breath, knowing that if someone were here they still wouldn't be able to make out what she was saying over this ruckus.

Which was why she didn't hear the pounding on the door until after she shut off the hairdryer.

"Coming!" Someina yells, throwing the light switch and trying not to stomp to the front door like she so badly wanted to do. With one glance in the peephole, she wanted to have her first drink of the day. And it was only nine in the morning.

She swung it open after undoing its series of locks, leaning against it as the balding landlord made a big show of staring at his watch's broken face.

"That took you far too long, tenant 34a. What if there was a fire?"

Then they'd all smell burning toupee in the air what with his crazy collection that he shamelessly displayed on the daily.

"Do you need something?" She asks instead, hearing the faint sound of her mother rolling in her proverbial grave at her daughter's rudeness.

He glanced around the hallway, like cops would show up out of nowhere and bust him. Before he grabs her hand and slaps a ticket into it.

"Um..."

"Its an eviction notice," he says, as if this explains why humans exist and the world turns.

It slips out of her hands like a stick of butter, and she rushes to catch it. Managing to slap it between her hands at the last second.

"Evicted? But, I just made a payment to you the other day." And sacrificed date clothes for the trouble. "I've complied with every rule."

"Yeah, that's all fine and good. Much appreciated."

That's odd. Who knew you could pronounce 'I owe you a refund' in so many ways?

"But?"

He points behind him, his chubby finger not making it any clearer. "There's a sediment buildup in the water heater. Its gonna need a complete replacement, and there are further problems not up to code that have condemned this complex to be unlivable."

As he droned on and on with his greasy mustache and corn chip breath, all she could think about was the fact this day took its darkest turn and completely eclipsed. The place wouldn't be ready for another six months. And that meant...living on the street.

"Well, you'll be missed. Have your stuff out no later than tomorrow. See ya around." And with that, he darts off. And she closes the door behind him with more force than her little bun head normally possessed.

Why?

Why was she always forced to leave her home? Start over? Abandon a life she'd known for the sake of one she's thrown headfirst into.

As she stood there in the kitchen with her hands poised on the edge of the counter in a deathly grip, she trembles. With rage, upset, and a will to give up. She unclenches her fists and smooths her hands along the edge, like this is her barre and it was supporting her as it was always meant to. It was what she leaned over for stretches. It was her backbone for positions. It was what tethered her as she stared at herself in the full-length mirror, nitpicking every blemish in her face, and flaw in her technique.

And even though Someina hated ballet because it reminded her of all that she left back with her parents and sister, she needed that support.

She doesn't grabs her Walkman to play classical music, knowing she'd lose her nerve. Instead...she searches her library for the hardest sound. Rock music. And once it begins blasting out at top volume, she dances.

She dances angry.

In this moment as Someina skips warmups and flies into movements, she pretends that for a moment, she doesn't carry a windup key in her back. That her overbearing mom can't turn it and make her be _her_ ballerina. That even though Someina's emotions were doing developpès and she was mad and sad at the same time...she felt less like her kite when it got tangled up in a tree branch. And more like a kite when it was lifted by the wind. Twirling and fluttering majestically and beautifully for the world to see.

Its hard to get heavy. But you have to get heavy to get light.

When she finishes, her entire body is covered in sweat and her ears beat to her heart and the music that still fills what was once their apartment. Pain shoots through her like a bullet at breakneck speed, but its the kind she thrives on. The one that made her celebrate the callouses and blisters on her hands and feet.

She retrieves a water bottle from the pantry on her way back to the shower instead of her uniform, her muscles hating and thanking her for what she just did.

...

With Kaiko in bed, she settles into the comfy cushions of Tohru's couch, itching for a textbook but fiddling with the TV remote instead.

She was letting Someina and Kaiko bunk with her until they got on their feet and found a new place to stay within the school zone so Kaiko could still go. She had exhausted every other option - namely Uo and Hana - but they either lived in a frat or over a poetry pub that reeked of smoke and angst. It was an upgrade from the warehouse, at least.

As Someina hears the water come on from the kitchen faucet, she lands on a chick-flick channel. It was waves of breakup after breakup, pregnancy scares, and bachelorette parties gone awry. According to the listings of what's next. But right now...it was much worse than the gushy sweet movies.

It was one about a mother who had an estranged relationship with her daughter, kicking her out because she was caught with her boyfriend.

Talk about hitting home.

Someina curls up on the plushy seat, propping her head up with the armrest as she took in the drama unfolding onscreen. The mom had ignored her daughter's requests to come back home (surprise, surprise), and doesn't decide to end the silent treatment until her daughter gets into an accident. Because having one foot in death and one foot in life earned her mother's respect and 'love back.'

And maybe its because she knows her own mother wouldn't approve, but...she says screw that.

Because it wasn't fair that she spent all her life wearing what she was told to wear, attended every cotillion and debutante ball, paraded about their estate like a Barbie when she wasn't breaking her neck dancing ballet.

This movie was exactly that. A movie. It would take more than death to bring Someina's mother around. It would take a real, beating heart to get her to love Someina. She guessed they were out of stock.

"Someina?" A tender voice drags her back into reality, causing her to sit up as she notices Tohru staring at her in concern. "I was asking if you'd like some popcorn or cupcakes? I have some leftover from the bakery."

Someina clasps her hands in her lap after pulling her feet up onto the couch. "No take backs if I say heck-to-the-yes?"

Tohru gives her a cheek splitting smile, bouncing onto her feet and back into the kitchen. "Of course not! Help yourself. I know I will."

She follows at a slower pace, still leaning the weight of her steps into my toes. Dancer's habit. As Tohru rummages through a drawer for silverware, and an overhead cabinet for plates. As she does this, Someina looks around. Getting an eyeful of flowery patterns that circle above the back splash. The colors are soft, like Tohru, and the room is polished off with gentle, ambient lighting.

She could get used to this. Actually, she already was.

"Okay, popcorn and chocolate cupcakes with pink icing." Tohru gasps loudly, startling her. "Oopsie...I forgot about making them sugar-free."

Someina simply shrugs, used to people not remembering and learning to make do. Though she had to admit, she's never felt the loss deeper than she does right now. She would give almost anything to try her friend's mind-boggling sweets. They're said to be worth dying for.

Which wasn't far from the truth in her case.

Tohru snaps her fingers, rushing over to root through her fridge. "La, La, La...found it!" She closes the door, darting back over with a tub of sugar-free frosting and grabs for a spoon.

"It might not be the same, but I want you to try frosting on popcorn at least once." She uncaps the container, spooning out a small amount before smearing it on a popcorn kernel. "If you want to try it, that is."

Someina cocks an eyebrow, appalled and intrigued at the same time. Was this...good? Was it one of those food combos like pizza and M&Ms or salt on watermelon that people swear by?

Its worth the shot...she supposed.

She repeats her actions, only she gets the eensiest bit less frosting than Tohru did, before putting on a brave face and popping it in.

Squeezing her eyes shut, fearing the worst. She chews and chews and chews. Until she's cringing at the initial taste, silently vowing to never touch the stuff again, and then-

Liking it.

Enjoying it and groaning a little at how good it is, with the sweet and saltiness of it, grabbing for seconds.

"So, what do you think?" Tohru asks, shyly. "Too much?"

She shakes her head harder than ever before. "Too good."

...

It all happened so fast.

Their living arrangements changed the moment Haru found out. He thought it made more sense for Someina and Kaiko to live with him, no one imposed on anyone, and he was able to get closer to Kaiko. All these points along with the promise of a shorter commute to work and school sold Someina. Kyo...well, he took a whole lot more convincing.

The conversation went something like this:

"Kyo, stop being a pansy and go get it on at Tohru's."

"Shut up, you idiot. I ain't going."

"Go."

"No!"

"Go."

_"No!"_

"Kyo, I don't mind. We don't have to sleep in the same room," Tohru adds, her cheeks hot. "We are getting married soon. It might help if we stayed together before then."

"Fine," Kyo relents through a defeated sigh. "I'll stay with you."

And that was that.

Tohru had him wrapped around her finger, and they now knew what secret weapon to use anytime Kyo was disagreeable.

They were able to reach a happy medium of their rooming situation. She asked to borrow his air mattress to function as Kaiko's and her bed, just off the second bathroom of his place. It took a whole lot of convincing and an ultimatum of them staying at Tohru's if it meant not putting him out, in order to get him to accept their terms.

Now she had two duffel bags full of all the items she managed to grab before getting the boot.

Clothes, shoes, toiletries, books, knitting materials - in hopes of finally learning, textbooks, her insulin and glucose meter kit, and a bucket of random things that she assembled bracelets out of. It wasn't something she did everyday. She couldn't even afford breaks most weeks. But whenever she had to wait somewhere, or came down with something and ended up sick in bed...she made bracelets. It was very cathartic.

Haru stumbles upon her braiding Kaiko's hair, weaving the beautiful dark tresses until they were shaped like a fishtail. Someina stuck various barrettes and pins into the style, finishing off the look with glitter that she sprinkles all over. Kaiko loved to sparkle and glimmer, so sparkle and glimmer she shall.

Haru snatches up a pear from the fruit bowl on the island, biting into it without a loud crunch as he approaches. "Am I gonna do that?"

Someina cants her head. "Do what? Braid?"

He nods slowly, something he often did when debating on whether he meant to say yes or no. "Yeah. I don't know if you can tell, but I suck at styling my own hair. This-" he gestures at his unruly mane, before taking another bite. "This happens when I roll out of bed. Nothing else to it."

She snorts, even though she knows its not feminine in the least. "I hear its a hot look. All the heartthrobs wear their hair that way."

And, if she could admit it...she thought he could model that look for the rest of his life and every woman would fall at his feet.

Haru smirks, jamming one hand into the pocket of his black sweats. "Do you like it? I know you're not some teenage girl, but I want to see if its working for me. What do you think?"

She clears her throat, only now becoming aware that Kaiko vanished into his room when she wasn't looking. "Its...it suits you. Besides, you wouldn't look right with your hair all neat or slicked back. It doesn't seem like you."

He chucks the core of his fruit in the trash can, nailing the shot, continuing over until he stands over her. His shadow becoming her outline as he towers at his height.

"You're right. But then, it shouldn't surprise me. You know me well."

Someina folds her hands in her lap, squaring up with her courage to look him in the eyes. "I do?"

He leans over, extending his fingertips until her eyes close. And she feels him twirl one of her waves around his finger, before it springs off and he assumes his space. "You do. Knowing what coffee to make me says a lot. Especially when there's more to it than the taste."

"But the personality of the one I make it for is in every sip," she finishs for him. "In every coffee bean."

"Exactly."

And he takes his leave before anything more can be said.

...

Someina had the brilliant idea to start wearing more attractive clothes to get Hatori to be a lot more forward and hands-on. She'd fall over if he _ever_ got frisky. A skirt here that showed leg and a blouse there that made her cleavage look like a pair of trophies was what she'd picked out this morning. When she thought she'd see him. Unfortunately, he canceled on her and took a rain check for another time, leaving her to tour Haru's place in it instead of being out on a date.

But hey, she was dressed for the occasion.

It was pretty swanky considering how Haru described it.

She makes it a point to burn her go-to marshmallow scented candle, the evidence of her usage in the tiny wick and fragmented candle. It was a smell that tortured and soothed her sweet tooth with how strongly it had her craving smores.

It was a relief that Haru convinced her that it was okay to light because it felt more like a bigger version of her apartment. So high-end that it felt like the stuffy environment of her parents' where she couldn't have any candles of her own. But this was a town house in a league of its own. No question.

It was only a one bedroom, two bathroom place, with a fully stocked kitchen, a fireplace, and a balcony. She noticed that Haru liked to make his phone calls out there, and lean his forearm on the railing birds perched on as the wind tangoed with his wild hair. As she watched his lips move - and secretly wished hes could read them - she wondered if the person on the other end was his girlfriend.

Did he tell her about all this, yet? Someina really didn't want to come between them.

It made about as much as sense as her breaking up with or dumping Hatori because of him.

"Where's Kaiko?" Haru asks, the door swinging closed behind him. "I figured we'd eat together or something."

"Really? I thought you'd be the type to eat in privacy." She tugs at her lip with her teeth, hoping that didn't come off abrasive.

He smiles a little, stretching his arms above his head and causing his black sweater to rise a fraction. Yup, the pop-up abs weren't myth or her imagination.

"Kyo and I usually were each other's drinking buddies. Anything beyond that, and it would be a lot more serious. We don't have a friendship that goes far beyond that. But I don't like eating alone."

"Oh. O-ok." She makes her way around the counter and rifles through the white paper bag for fries. Her mouth watering at the warmth and the smell of salt and potatoes. It was a little sad that some stray fries were spilled out into the bag.

"Kaiko was already fed and put to bed an hour ago," she explains through a mouthful of fries, pulling out a bar stool that's perfectly assembled. "Her bedtime is 7:30 on most nights. On weekends, I extend it to 8pm."

He plops down beside her, sitting up higher by a head or so. "Isn't that a bit early? When I was five, I didn't go to sleep until the show I was watching had ended at nine."

She pushes another fry past her lips, swallowing in a way that was painful. "Girls her age need at least ten hours or more. I really don't feel comfortable going any later."

He glances over at her, and she looks back at him, held hostage by his stare. Then when he's thoroughly kept her long enough, he drops his gaze back to his burger and takes another large bite.

"Have you told her?" Someina questions, wanting to get all her burning curiosities put out now. "Your girlfriend?"

He coughs, pounding his chest with his fist until his throat clears. "About?" He croaks.

She grabs another fry. "Kaiko, us moving in, you working on my car, physics class."

He gives her an amused look, setting his half-eaten burger back onto his plate. "No, no, no, and no. We aren't exactly on the best terms, so we haven't seen each other since last week. She'll hit me up tomorrow and I'll arrange something."

Her eyes grow to the size of his monster burger. "You know that exactly? How?"

Haru clears his throat a bit more awkwardly, covering his burger to store in the fridge. "Because it happens every month."

"You find out you have a secret child and baby mama every month?"

He laughs, his dark eyes lit up with stars of mirth. "Baby mama? That's the weirdest thing you've said considering everything else."

This makes her nervous. "I'm weird?"

"Good weird. But I meant that you even knowing that term is...hilarious, to say the least."

She hangs her head, tapping her nails together as she fill in his blanks. "Boorish for me."

"No," he drawls, the confusion in his voice making her look up. "I've never seen you as polished. Or formal. You seem free-spirited, not uptight."

She holds back a snort at this.

"Unless you're with him," he adds, all smiles escaping the room. "Then you wear makeup and your posture changes completely. All in a week's observation, though."

As if sensing the effect his words would have, he leaves for his room with his hands in his pockets as if he didn't just mug her and tuck her heart into one of them.

...

After an hour off to herself in the bathroom, Someina stepped out and over the air mattress Kaiko slept on until she was crouched beside her in her over-sized shirt and shorts. She sweeps her daughter's bangs back from her forehead and kisses her softly, trying to borrow strength until she stole her heart back with her rebuttal. She had a lot to say in her defense towards Haru, the heart thief.

Oh who was she kidding? He stole the air from her lungs and numbed her feelings when he told her she was different with her boyfriend than she was with him.

Because it wasn't a compliment.

So Someina fully intended to march right into his bedroom and give him a piece of her mind. Only...that's not what happened.

Her heart fell back into place as she watched him make the bed, running her eyes over the jagged scar that dipped from the middle of his back down to his hip, reaching around his side. His eyes were murky and undecipherable as he dressed his bed in black like she brought a funeral of doom and gloom and confusion.

As he shook out his bed sheets in the air, and it fluttered and flapped...it did more than make her heart race. It made it produce thunderclaps that were so mighty that she almost ducked under the bed to hide from them. And she didn't even know why or how he did this to her.

It was like, discovering a new song - a hidden gem. It bumped really hard despite its intricate lyricism that had you stumped. It was cryptic. But it was addicting. It made you feel sober and drunk at the same time. Intoxicated with the rhythm of such an enigmatic soul, while pondering the poeticism of his personality.

Maybe that's why he was creating a storm of emotions inside her this very moment. Because it was hot and cold that fought each other for dominance.

"Those sheets are very pretty," She blurts, causing him to pause and glance over his shoulder. It isn't until then that she realizes that sounded stupid with a capital S.

"I just mean...that they're nice. They're great for a man. Uh, meaning, they're masculine." Someina waves her hand, trying to bat away how awkward she is. Spoiler: it isn't working. "I shouldn't have said pretty. You probably hate that." Stop talking, Meina. You are drowning in embarrassment right now.

His mouth quirks upward, before he calmly moves to tuck the black sheets underneath the mattress. His back with its dimple and toned muscles making her grab for the nearby chair in support.

"I don't think of pretty as a dirty word, Som. In fact...I like using it. When it fits." He straightens, grabbing for a matching pillow case and tucking it under his chin. Shaking it to get a puffy pillow inside. "Like, I think flowers are pretty. My bike is pretty and I'm proud of it. But-"

He drops the pillow on the bed, pivoting so that his eyes touch her soul from where he stands. "I can't use pretty for you. It doesn't work."

Her soul squeezes together, constricted between two caving walls. "You never lie, do you?"

"Nope." He shakes his head, seating himself on the end of his bed as he stretches one leg out in front of him. "So trust me when I say that you aren't pretty at all. Because you're gorgeous. And I'm not just saying that because we have a daughter together."

She knew she'd be feeling that in the morning. Because she felt it now.

This was the sorest her heart has ever been. And it hurts for so many reasons that it should never ache for.

Like, she'd somehow lost the love of her life, and reconciled with him to find his body belonged to her while his heart was kept by someone else.

She drums her fingers on the desk chair that had seen years of use, not sure how to fix her mouth in a way that wouldn't cause more trouble.

"Haru...are we flirting?" Heat floods her cheeks as her drumming speeds up. "Is this something normal?"

He looks her dead in the eyes, his hands going behind him as his expression reflects neutrality. "I'm being honest, which I'm told I am to a fault." He lowers his gaze to a point on her face she doesn't dare entertain him thinking about. "Does it bother you when I compliment you?"

Yes.

No.

Maybe?

All of the above.

She lifts her hand to rake her fingers through her hair, thankful she never went through with cutting it over the summer. "Its not that it bothers me. I'm just scared."

"About?"

"Why I like it..." She twirls one of her strands around and around and around. "Why I feel so weird about it when I should be taking it in stride." She shuts her eyes, tempted to chew her lip. "And why I want to tell you that I don't think you're pretty."

Because you're more.

She quickly stops herself (or maybe not quickly enough) and makes for the door, her hand bracing the handle.

"Anyways," Someina fake a yawn, pushing down on the brass of the handle, "Thank you again for letting us stay with you. I should probably go to bed."

Her hand rests on the handle, but she doesn't open it. She just stands there with weird feelings threatening to jump out of her chest as the room is decorated with tension. When he appears behind her with his hand on the door and his voice ghosting over her neck, she closes her eyes. And she shudders as his tone drips off of her just like dark and sticky syrup.

"I don't remember a ton about our night, Som. But being this close to you...is bringing it back."

The feel of his stare burns like acid, eating away at her self-control.

She lets go of the handle and palms the door, the same distance away from her escape as his hand. "Is that good or bad?"

He inches his hand down, then stops. Dipping his mouth near her ear. And she tells herself its because he wants to make sure he's heard. Not because his lips crave the taste of her skin.

"I don't really know if its wrong or right, good or bad. But its made me think about things..."

She should stop. They should stop. But its suddenly not weird. It feels...

"Like?"

He licks his lips, his hand budging just so that the heel of his palm brushed her fingertips.

"Like if you slept in my bed tonight, without it hurting anyone. Without hurting us."

She bites her lip, swallowing a groan as she lets her head touch the door.

Its like his words couldn't stop themselves at his lips, and wouldn't rest until they left no inch of her skin unkissed by their impact.

Is this how he got her in bed with him the first time? With the heat of his body behind hers as he was nothing but swoon-fully honest. Because it was dangerous how her brain screamed at her to run while the rest of her wanted to relive that time. Just once.

"Was it fun, at least?" Someina squeaks out, slipping her hand under his by the tiniest of movements. "When we were together that night?"

His other hand lands near her head, completely boxing her in on both sides. And she's almost completely overtaken by a memory in this same position when he says-

"Yeah. I may not remember how it happened, but I never forgot what it felt like. And you know what its made me realize about sex?"

"What?" She breathes, a hush falling over all the rational parts of her brain.

"That I like to earn my moans instead of rushing them." Their hands brush together even further, and for a split-second she almost moves it to her hip. "I want every sound that passes our lips to be slow and long, as if its our last breath we get to taste. I learned that after...our night."

That's when Someina drops her hand back to the handle and pushes this time, making him stumble back a few steps as she wedged the door open.

She's...panting.

Horrified of how close a call that was. With how quickly she forgot Hatori and only remembered him. And how they seemed to exist in a depth this dimension couldn't figure out.

It was just attraction. That's it. And, they got a little too close to the fire, this time. But she did care about Hatori. And he probably loves Rin. They should learn to hold onto the right memories and dump the bad ones.

"Talk to you in the morning. Goodnight," she says, slipping out and closing the door behind her. Her lungs ready to retire from this marathon she's been on since physics class.

With just this night alone, she's starting to think that living together is going to be messy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have nooo idea how hyped I am for Ch 4 because of the elements I'm excited to delve into. And because the more we make our way through this story, the more fun it can be as Someina learns to shed her people-pleasing persona and learn more about who she actually is. Her identity apart from her parents, her boyfriend, her friends, and her daughter.
> 
> My Answer To Last Chapter's Question: I would really like to try Calamari or Calzone, along with New York pizza. Because I heard its incredible.
> 
> Chapter Question: What's the weirdest food combo you've ever tried, and how was it?


	4. Jagged Jigsaw

**Chapter Four: Jagged Jigsaw**

To say that the next morning was awkward was the understatement to end all understatements. The morning after was what Haru and Someina were pretty much infamous for, and only proven again with this one.

She excavated his pantry to pull a cereal box from the shelf, feeling bad about using his food even after he claimed that he was cool with the entire thing. But maybe that was his just his way. And maybe he was acting more comfortable than he felt. No one could tell.

As she pours the chocolaty flakes into Kaiko's favorite bowl, a yawn trumpets somewhere near her head and spooks her into spilling some of the cereal onto the counter.

"Morning," he says, his voice low as a flat note on the verge of a more upbeat transition. "Did you sleep okay?"

Someina bobs her head, closing the flaps of the box and tucking its tab into the slot. But she's plucked completely out of her carefully cultivated facade when he appears behind her again. Almost touching her back from where he's positioned.

She blows out a rushed breath, scared that he was going to go in for the kill when Kaiko could show up any moment. If last night was anything to go by, she had good reason to be. And there were two things very wrong about him kissing her.

One, he wasn't Hatori.

Two, she wasn't Rin.

"Som," he says, all sweet and dark in one tone.

 _"Som," he whispers into her neck, grazing it with his teeth_.

"I need to get into the cabinet for a plate, please."

_"Is that all you need?" He taunts, having only received a peck on the lips as the extravagant light fixture hanging from the ceiling turned sideways._

_She nods, and it makes him laugh at her insistence._

_"Then why are your legs around my waist?"_

She peers up at the black and clear cabinet above her, fighting down a blush as she sidestepped for him.

"Sorry."

"You don't have to apologize." He takes a styrofoam plate, shutting the door behind him and shuffling over to the stove. "I'm more concerned about your back."

_She drags her nails down his back, too punchy and drunk to care about the noises she was making._

_He brings his head down so that he looks her directly in the eyes, glad that he was finally getting a chance with the girl he had a crush on since the year started._

_"Are you trying to get me in trouble with your parents?"_

_She bites down on her lip, only to have him draw it back out with his thumb._

_"I didn't say I didn't like it."_

"Why? What do you mean?" She stammers. "You were the one standing close. I didn't mean to be in the way."

_"I want to do it my way," he murmurs, silencing his name on her lips with his own._

"What?" He asks, laughing. "I was referring to you and Kaiko taking the air mattress. I wish you wouldn't talk me out of you taking my bed."

She holds up her hands in an 'X' and shakes her head. "We can't be in the same bed! I-I have a...boyfriend. And he's great. Fantastic! So, I really can't do that. No siree."

He strides over, slow enough to allow her heart to shut down and fully reboot again before he finally arrives.

"I was saying you two should have my room by yourselves while I camp out on the mattress. Unless..." he tips his head downward so that he's staring right at her, his dark eyes telling of no certainties. "This is your way of saying that you shouldn't want it, but you really do." At her red face he cleans it up. "Want my bed, that is."

_"You seem different," Someina slurs, tracing a finger from his chest to his stomach, both still recovering from how quickly their lives had just changed. "You seem like another person...you're a lot more aggressive than I thought you would be."_

_He brings the hot pink comforter up over their bodies, his necklace swinging wildly with the motion._

_"I could say the same about you," he retorts, referring to the red that marked where her nails had been._

_She lazily sticks her tongue out at him, eyes still refusing to open out of exhaustion. "You act like you didn't enjoy it."_

_He takes her into his arms in one quick movement, resting his chin atop her head as sleep accosted him._

_"Believe me...I did."_

He's standing so close with only an inch gap of space that barely keep their hips from meeting. And the weight of his presence makes her eyes grow heavy enough to close, unable to look at him while breathing in the scent of peppermint and soap.

_She awakens to a room flooded with luminosity, an overdose of brightness that she can't handle so early in the morning. She squeezes her eyes shut, attempting to block out the ferocity of light that surrounds her, knowing that getting up and going to work seemed out of the question with how badly her head was hurting._

It was so strong...familiar...

_The girl sidesteps until she makes it safely around the double bed without waking up her classmate, before practically sprinting into the bathroom and locking the door behind her._

Someina rips herself away from him like velcro separating, quickly gathering a towel and a loofa. "I'll just go take a shower, now." And like a coward, she makes a break for the bathroom and locks it as soon as she can. But just like a coward...she takes no shame in running.

...

The moment Som and her friends waltz into the posh and out-of-budget shoe boutique, a bell dangling over the door chimes. Their group bee-lining in search of a clearance aisle.

It had been an eventful morning between herself and Haru, but she figured some time out of the house with friends would manage to ground her again.

A woman in black stockings, matching kitten heels, and a blazer draped over her slinky dress, shoved a foot measurement tool aside. Straightening to her full height that rivaled Uo's.

"What are you doing in a place like this?" She asks with a snooty sneer in her voice. "We are not Goodwill, if that's what someone told you."

"Not at all," Someina responds, before Uo can tell her off. "But would you mind pointing us to your discounts? We can't seem to find them."

"That's because there is no negotiation here. You take it as is or you do the poor walk of shame. What do we look like? Salvation Army?"

Hana narrows her eyes at the grumpy lady, not taking kindly at all to the way her words flooded with condescension.

"If you were a charity of some sort, I would pity those that come to you in need of it. You stand here in your high heels with not a hair out of place. Yet, you somehow put yourself beneath anyone that couldn't afford this establishment with your attitude."

She draws back with an audible huff, her pride wounded with being chastised. "Pardon me?"

Uo scoffs, rolling her eyes. "Just show us the shoes and no one gets hurt." She taps her wristwatch. "Time is wasting."

Tohru clasps her hands behind her back, breaking out her signature outfit of worry. "We would all like something classy—"

"Daring," Hana supplies.

"Hot," adds Uo.

"Reasonable," Someina amends, earning the woman's hateful Medusa gaze. "Under 100 in cost."

In the past, Someina had no need to be frugal or finagle a deal. She didn't have to beg and plead or wait for a sale. All she had to do was flash daddy's credit cards and she came home with a season worth of outfits.

Now financially cut off and prioritizing Kaiko in expenses, she had to learn her way around work sales clerks. Even when it meant fighting dirty.

"Oh? Did you not get the memo?" She asks innocently. "I'm Someina, _Heiress_ of the Fujimotos. You've heard of my parents' business haven't you?"

The woman's entire demeanor changes, a smile painting her face like a court jester. "They're icons. Anyone with air in their lungs have heard of them."

"Then you see why I need you, or rather...why _you_ need to cut me some slack. Think of all the traffic I could bring to your store if you were to sell me something. Knock off the price for the sake of my friends, and I guarantee that people will be chomping at the bit to shop here. Think of it as an endorsement deal."

She actually buys into it and ponders the proposition. Bait and switch.

"Solid offer. But, why would money be an issue if you're really her?"

Someina turns up her nose, smoothing out invisible wrinkles in the outfit that made her look more rich than she was.

"Don't you get it? Its a favor for my friends. I can see the interview now. Posh Pumps treats customers like friends, and caters to the rich and famous like family."

Her eyes sparkle like the diamonds Someina's mother and sister sported for things as simple as reading in bed, before she nods and gives a grand sweep of her hand towards the store.

"Feel free to peruse our vast and fashionable selection. And its no trouble at all if there's any questions you want to ask."

The woman stalks off, and Uo mutters under her breath.

"I have a question; did you bargain for those extensions with your stank attitude? I'd ask her to take several seats. But she probably wouldn't..." Uo shakes her head, fixing her voice to mock the woman's "...because _they're not designer_."

Someina snorts, clapping a hand over her mouth. "Uo, that's not nice...hilarious, but not nice."

Uo shrugs, leading the way towards pumps in all shapes and sizes and inches. "She's not exactly Miss Universe, herself. I mean, did you see the way she tried to kill us with her eyes, then bring us back to life with her fake smile? What a total snake."

Someina picks up a pair of black and silver pumps, wrinkling her nose at how high they were. "Miss Universe is a cool thing for bragging rights. But beauty pageants aren't all they're cracked up to be. And that's coming from someone that won five."

"You were a beauty queen?" Tohru squeals, clapping. "You mean you got to wear a crown and sash and everything?"

"And heels," She adds. "Lots and lots of heels. Which is why I can't stand them now."

Someina puts the pair back into its snug box, scanning the shelves for a new pair of flat shoes. Maybe even something a little bit outside her comfort zone. Like flip-flops or boots.

"I gotta give you your props, Meina," Uo says, throwing her a thumbs-up. "You were a total baddie pulling that off. Your scheme would make the best conman shed a tear."

Was that praise she should be championing or fearing?

"Only when necessary..." she trails off, tucking her dark hair behind her ear.

"Did you guys hear?" Uo fires off, examining a set of colorful Converse. "Kureno wants us to change up where we go on dates. Can you believe that?"

"You mean he _doesn't_ want to go to a dive bar with truckers and peanut shells all over the floor anymore?" Someina teases. "Has he been to a doctor recently? He might have a fever."

Hana smiles at this as Uo gives her petite friend one of her hard slaps on the back. "Someone's sassy today, aren't we Meina?"

All of a sudden, her face lights up. And she barks out a laugh at her own thoughts. "I've got it. Mean Meina gets even mean...ah."

Someina shakes her head. "And to think that I used my family name for you. Betrayal is real."

"That was rather interesting wasn't it," Hana muses, running her dark purple nails over the price tag of really expensive stilettos. "You told us that you never wanted to be known as a Fujimoto after what happened."

She winces. "I don't. But I can't stand that people look down on me or anyone that doesn't have money to claim. So in addition to helping you guys out, I also want to get back at my mom who is sure to hear about this through the grapevine." She scowls, putting another shoe back. "That woman's network reaches from Tokyo to Los Angeles, Moscow to Sydney. She'll know within a day or two if she's too busy to hear at her normal pace."

"Power to ya," Uo rallies. "She's the worst."

"Revenge isn't the answer," Tohru butts in. Her earnest countenance making Someina want to confess every horrible thing that's ever crossed her mind today. "It only hurts you to try to exact it on someone."

"Justice is the ideal," Hana says. "But we do support you if you ever wish to vent or express any other volatile emotions you hold onto."

Those words seem to rip off the veil of her self-preservation, and it scares her into grabbing random shoes and walking it to the checkout. "I'll take these." Someina calls back over her shoulder, "Hurry up snails. I want to buy these _before_ I have to switch to Orthopedic."

...

Someina proposed an idea one rainy Saturday evening in November to put together a 300 piece puzzle, with just the family. The idea was to get to know each other better by asking a random question every-time they fit a piece of the puzzle.

So far, it was easygoing.

"Okay, question one," Haru begins, crossing his ankles in front of him. "Would you survive one night camping in the wilderness?"

Someina plants her fists on her hips from where she sits. "I think you and I haven't been formally introduced." She tosses her hair back, trying to hold her composure and not crack a single smile. "I'm a decorated girls' scout, with camping as my first official badge."

He lets out a breath, clapping lamely. "That seriously moves me, Som. You do our country proud by selling us those thin mint cookies." He rubs his very flat stomach. "I think I'm in love."

She rolls her eyes, assuming he's not the least serious. "Yeah, right. There's no way you could be that fit and put away boxes of cookies like that."

He searches the pile for another fit, smiling to himself. "You noticed?"

She looks away so fast she makes whiplash look like a merry-go-round. "You should really have them cold. Pop them in the fridge for a couple of hours and then eat them. But I liked Samoas and Do-Si-Dos the most."

"Peanut butter cookies? Stop the madness, Someina." He flops on his back and Kaiko pounces on him with a squeal of glee, tugging at his pierced ear. "You're so dangerous."

"Oh, hush." Someina grabs for a nearby sofa cushion, plucking at its threads. "You're just jealous I had discounts and you _wished_ you could ever be so cool."

He chuckles, sitting up with Kaiko's arms tight around his neck. "You're not wrong."

She tucks a piece of the ocean waves in its place, connecting two others together. "I'm surprised you didn't ask about when I stopped being able to have cookies."

His lips are tugged by a smirk. "What do you want me to say? That I'm so sweet I gave you diabetes? I'm not the type."

She laughs, feeling a little sillier. "I suppose you make a valid point."

"Thanks." He shrugs. "That and the fact it wasn't my turn. But it is yours."

She jolts slightly, having forgotten that. "Oh yeah..."

Should she start off personal or flirt around with small talk to see how close she could get?

"What's the best and worst movie you've ever seen?"

He strokes his chin and squints, causing Kaiko to bubble over with another giggle fest. "Hmm...that could count for two questions, but I'll let it slide because Kaiko's here."

She drops the pillow and resorts to tugging at the carpet, instead. "What a gentleman."

"The worst movie I've seen was this one film from back when I was around...Kaiko's age? Yeah. Probably five or six. It was this really weird killer clown movie about them going around attacking people until there was no one left...No one but people with painted on smiles and rainbow wigs." He shudders.

"You don't like clowns?" Someina asks, her eyebrows greeting her hairline.

"That's an understatement," he admits, eyes unfocused like he truly was scarred. "But the best movie I've ever watched was about a guy and a girl that decide to break up to drum up publicity for their music careers—"

"—But end up quitting the business and running off together. I remember."

He smiles warmly, and it feels like her heart has been shoved into an oven and is being gently torched. They watched that rom-com with Momiji on their studying break all those years ago. Her memory of that night came back to her in splotches ever since. And the more she recalled despite the hazy edges, the more she had to distract herself.

She didn't want to say that she had no self-control when he was involved, past or present. But...

The next time they were alone—

"I did it mama," Kaiko proclaims, springing off of Haru's lap to dance in victory. "I did two pieces."

Two? Is that really how long they've been sitting here and saying nothing?

"Let's hear it," Haru encourages.

"Um! What is your...favorite stuff animal?"

"Mr Tux," Haru answers immediately. "Its a grey kitten with black buttons for eyes and a pink nose. I once cut up my dad's suit to give him an outfit, and that's how he got his name."

"Ooh," Kaiko coos, pursing her lips in thought. "I have Princess. You and Mr Tux and mama can all come to the tea party. Oh!" She points at Someina. "Mama can bring Cookie The Bunny."

She flushes, strategically avoiding his eyes.

To Haru's credit, he doesn't point and laugh. "Cookie, huh? We haven't met."

"That's b-because its...Hey, Kaiko. Don't you have a second thing to ask us?"

"I go again...?" She pauses, until an idea lights up her entire body like a Christmas display. "I got one! I got one!" Kaiko flails her hand around, bouncing up onto her knees.

"What is it, then?" Someina asks.

"Do you and daddy love each other?"

Someina focuses her attention on finding another corner piece, knowing the edges of the puzzle were the easiest points to start.

And the best distraction.

"I like your mom," Haru says, and it makes her freeze. "She's an intelligent, beautiful, sweet person who makes me laugh. She's also the hardest worker I've ever seen, and I dig that."

She grabs a random puzzle piece, enamored by his words and the sprinkle of emotion in them. "That's...wow, Haru. I have no clue what to say about that."

He smiles softly. "I know. I don't know what to say to me most the time, either."

Kaiko huffs, pout in full effect. "That's not what I said. I said _love_. Where you kiss and hug and stuff."

Haru opens his mouth to speak, but Someina's blabbing is faster. "We're friends, sweetie. Just good friends that love you," she says, bringing her into her arms and flooding her daughter with kisses. Causing her to laugh loud and smile big, Someina's favorite kind.

"My turn," Haru says, forming more of the water beneath Prince Eric and Ariel's boat. "What's a hidden talent of yours?"

She pauses, needing to run while being glued in place by his loaded question.

Deep breath in, she says, "Ballet." Her shoulders shrug on their own to make it seem more unimportant than it was. "Its something I did that doesn't happen anymore."

"That's sad."

All of a sudden, every muscle in her body tenses up. Like another person was judging her for her life choices. "How is that sad?"

"I won't get to see you perform." He twists his bracelet, thoughts spinning. "Maybe that's stupidly selfish, but...its something in the way you walk, like the world is made of glass and you know all the weak spots to avoid." He looks at her with awe leaping in his eyes. "I don't doubt that you were a great dancer."

She stares at him, and he stares right back. And it hits her hard that this is really him. That he's really the man that touched her like delicate toes on polished floors. But she wasn't polished. She was coming undone, and she wanted him to be the one to unravel her. He made disasters and messy things sound like they deserved displays for the beauty of their chaos, instead of hiding from them.

"You're my first kiss," he admits, lips upturned in a smile that was afraid to be fully happy. "I'm glad I remember it."

She can't help but wilt with the longing and regret plucking away at her. "You weren't my first kiss. But...you were my best."

_You were my favorite kiss._

The smile finally happens and its stunning, and his dark eyes are so heavy it feels like they pin her to the floor. And she wants them to.

"Can I ask you something else?" He tips his head towards the puzzle, showing that he found a piece of red hair.

"Yes."

"Why are you different around me than him?"

She blinks a few times. " _What?_ "

His head lolls to the side, like he's not ready for the followup and wishing he hadn't asked. "That's not the right way to put it. I meant to ask why you're so tense when it comes to him.

"You act like he's a headmaster, you're the troublemaker, and you have to be on your best behavior or he'll strike you down."

Her eyebrows draw together a familiar frown makes its appearance. "That's not even—you don't even know how I act with him. You saw us on one date. Without even considering I had a bad night or that he did."

"You seemed uncomfortable with him and I just wanted to know why you stay together."

" _Why?_ "

"Because I don't understand why I'm in a relationship I know is messed up," he says, taken aback by his own volume. He spares a glance at Kaiko, checking to see if he scared her to find her busy with the puzzle. Fascinated by Ariel's vibrant hair. He looks back at Someina, needing _someone_ to listen. "I don't know what I'm doing with you or her or school or work. And it feels like its driving me insane." He pulls at the collar of his sweater. "I can't breathe around her or when I think about what's next."

"And me?"

He looks at her, resigned and sorrowful. "You and Kaiko are the only people that make me want to keep breathing, and you somehow always jump-start me into breathing again."

Earthquakes tear through her body in tremors, except its not fear or nerves. But something she never sees coming.

_Anticipation._

"How did you get that scar?" She deflects, not ready for their weighty conversation to continue.

Instead of brooding or demanding that their discussion not be finished, he smiles. And its an inviting lift to his lips that makes her relieved to have asked a non-invasive, timely question.

_Maybe he knew things were going too far, too._

"A motorcycle accident when I flew off and missed getting struck by a semi by this much," he explains, pinching his fingers together. "It hurt like crazy, but it makes me look tough. So there's that."

She snorts, tapping a puzzle piece against her bare thigh. "That's some consolation prize for taking a spill." She averts her eyes as he rolls up the back of his shirt to show the jagged edges of his scar. " _You're_ not going to do anything like popping wheelies and things now are you?"

She looks back just in time to see him pull his shirt back down, his eyes heavy with something peculiar.

"Never on purpose would I do that to Kaiko..." at Someina's fallen expression, he reaches a hand out and cups her chin. And it makes tears spring to her eyes. "I wouldn't do it to you, either," he whispers.

She stares into his grey eyes until the tear surge is too strong to continue looking. She shrinks away from him and swipes at the wetness on her cheeks. Confused as to why she felt so bad all of a sudden. Like a stranger in her own life.

"Som?" He asks, his eyebrows pulling in when he hears her sniffle. "What's wrong?"

"I d-don't know," she says, her voice warbling as she feels Kaiko scramble into her lap. Her tiny hands bringing her mother's face towards hers.

"Mama sad again?"

Haru scoots closer with these words, causing Kaiko to turn towards him.

"Again? What made you sad before?"

Someina sighs, looking to the ceiling to force the sadness back inside. Knowing better than this. That she was never supposed to let anyone see her at her worst. Its how she was raised.

"I'm fine, I just-" she brings her eyes back down with steeled nerves, daring herself to not cower. "I don't really cry. Maybe I'm overdue or something, and it just came out. We can go back to the puzzle."

"Overdue? You're not a library book, Som. If you hardly ever cry...the fact that you just did speaks volumes. It means that you're in pain and it finally reached its breaking point. Whatever the reason is." He pauses, thinking back to what might have triggered it. "Was it my scar? Or...the fact I got hurt?"

She chews her lower lip, knowing it went way beyond that. To something she was afraid to acknowledge about herself. A thrill-hungry beast inside her only growing larger with the more things she did against her parents' wishes.

Things that made her happy.

"You have my word not to be reckless anymore." He moves in even further so that their knees touch with Kaiko right in the middle. "I'm not exactly father material. And seeing what you do and how you take care of our daughter, it makes me realize that...I'm afraid of it. The responsibility of my presence possibly doing damage because I don't know how to be a great dad. Its actually terrifying.

"But, I think that spending time with you and her more than beats out that fear. I just need you to trust that I'll be more careful. I don't want you worrying every time I get on my bike."

"Okay," she says, even though its not the root of what's really bothering her. "But can you do something else for me?"

He smiles, brushing a hand over Kaiko's head until she's leaning into his touch. "Anything."

"Please don't try to make me feel things I don't want to feel."

_Don't make me miss being with you._

"Like expecting me to cry when I'm not ready to."

He's silent like heartbreak, his expressions loud like a breakup. But he eventually caves, giving a small nod to allow her those bounds.

"On the same condition that when you do give yourself over to what you feel, that you'll go to me. And give me a chance to be there."

She bobs her head, unable to say otherwise. "Deal."

...

_The following evening..._

Someina finds herself caught in the net of yet another red light, the third one in a row on the way back from the grocery store. Haru was right next to her in her on-the-mend sedan, the only reason why she was laughing more than complaining about her timing.

"His face was priceless," he says, pressing his fingers to his lips as he laughs without abandon. "We even rigged it to play nursery music on Bluetooth speakers and hid it in the room so he could never find it."

"Wow." She quickly sucks in her lip, though a stream of giggles still slips through. "I could never pull something like that on my boss. Though, its not to say I haven't considered it."

He turns towards her, throwing his arm around her headrest. "You just get better and better the more we talk. I—"

He squints out the driver's window, causing Someina to tear her gaze from him to a black Bugatti right beside them. It was hard to see through the tint on his windows in the late night, until he rolled them down. Peering at the two with his wrist resting on the wheel covered in flame decals, his shades tipped down to the bridge of his nose.

His engine revs once, twice. His devious smile saying something in a language only Haru understood.

"I think he wants to race," he translates, collapsing back into his seat. "As soon as the light turns green, he's going to take off."

She starts to panic a little. "Race? What should I do? Isn't that illegal?"

He gives a half-shrug, glancing at her through his peripherals. "Just ignore him. You don't have to do it, you know?"

Someina couldn't entirely explain to you why she decided to do what she did, next. Especially with how risky it was with her car in repair limbo and how dangerous it was to drag race. But the moment the light switched from stop to go...

She blasted off, slamming down on the accelerator until Haru had to reach up for the safety handle, and the squeal of the tires were only drowned out by her yelping at the top of her lungs and exhaling adrenaline.

She, a little thing in a white cardigan, black mini-skirt and ballet flats was practically speeding with happiness humming in her veins as she realized why they call them joyrides. Because racing and Haru were the gateway, and adrenaline was the drug.

"Som, you're going at 70 right now! He looks like he's just a spec in the mirror," he shouts over the engine, his grin so wide that it makes him seem like a delighted boy on his birthday.

She kept going and didn't stop until she could no longer see the Bugatti in her side view mirror, gradually dropping her speed as her heartbeat finally stopped climbing up. Her chest rose and fell with the wild sensation tingling all the way down to her bones as Haru chuckled beside her.

"That was intense. And incredible." He angles himself towards the ballerina that just earned her racing stripes, feeling every bit as proud as if she won a Grand Prix. "I had no idea I was riding with a total boss."

She clutches the wheel tighter, still trembling with the rocket power shooting up her arms and down her legs.

"I didn't either."

...

The next afternoon after her early morning shift, Haru, Kaiko, and Someina make their way through the Fall Faire that breezed into town just last week. There were booths in place to bob for apples, shoot water guns at targets, and pie eating contests. Apple of course. They all stop in the middle to decide what to do first.

"What are you interested in?" Haru asks, before glancing down and tugging lightly at Kaiko's hand. "You hungry, Kaiko?"

"Yeah!" She yelps, dark eyes glowing with the neon lights above their heads. "I want candy apple."

He smiles, swinging their joined arms and starting towards a food stand. "Candy apples it is."

Someina pulls her light jacket around her tighter, regretting that she hadn't bundled up more before stepping out of the house. At least she did for Kaiko. Kaiko looked about as cozy as Haru did in his leather jacket and sweater. What she wouldn't do to be toasty right now.

They arrive in front of the food stall, and she scans the chalk menu propped up on the counter. They had churros, caramel and candy apples, hot cocoa, and...

Hot apple cider. That sounded magnificent.

And it was exactly that as she sipped it from a styrofoam cup (hers unsweetened, of course), following Haru and Kaiko to a mirror maze. It was so crispy that if you could taste Fall, this would be the drink.

"Do you want to borrow my jacket?" Haru questions, one hand around his own cup of cider, and his other arm wrapped around their daughter's shoulders.

"No thank you," She says. "I feel warmer already with my drink."

He looks at the shivering brunette blankly, and its more reprimanding than a scowl. "You're shivering and your teeth are chattering like dentures."

She cants her head. "Do dentures even chatter?"

He shrugs. "Either way, you're still cold. And I still am offering you my jacket."

Someina takes a long gulp, delaying her answer until she couldn't.

What would it look like to wear it?

There were two things that made her heart thrash around at the thought.

One, it seemed like she was his girl.

Two, she's always wanted to have one of her own. And she's not so sure that she'll be able to hand it over after they leave.

"Hard pass. But, again, thanks."

He rolls his eyes, pulling his arms behind his back as he removes it anyway, holding it out to her. "Som, if you won't take it because it means something...it does."

It does?

"It means that you're as stubborn as you are cold, and that I won't let you be uncomfortable."

She half-snorts, half-laughs. Not at all expecting _that_. "Well, when you put it that way, how can I turn you down?"

He nods, taking the liberty to toss it over her shoulders and smooth it down. "I learned from the best. My friend's a future attorney."

She beams, abuzz with joy as he takes her hand and Kaiko's, having already downed his cider as they walk up to the ticket master. Giving him two stubs to get into the house of mirrors.

It was rigged so that if you passed by certain areas, it would initiate a loud buzz to give you a jump scare. Something that may or may not have made Someina dig her nails into Haru's hand when she wasn't busy flinching like it was her job. Something she refuses to confirm or deny because her five year old didn't even bat an eye.

Kaiko runs ahead, turning left and they call after her. Someina runs after her with Haru not far behind, though they end up looping back around and getting separated. Leaving her to her devices as five different reflections mimicked her every move.

Someina wraps her arms around herself as she creeps along, chills somehow dotting her skin despite how warm and comfortable Haru's jacket was. She forces herself onward until she suddenly stumbles forward, startled out of her mind as an explosively loud buzz erupts in her ear. She catches herself by pressing her hands flat against the glass, a larger body pressing against hers as quick breaths fog up the mirror.

"Som, I was looking for you and Kaiko. I don't even know how we split up." He sighs. "Its not the first time I got lost, though."

She closes her eyes and tries to take in breaths normally, her heart squeezing and contracting in all the excitement. "Right...where's Kaiko?"

"I think she might be outside." He peels himself off the small woman, helping her out with him. "Let's go look."

They find their daughter huddled up against the wooden column near the ticket master, and Someina feels proud and relieved that she did what she was taught if she ever got lost. Though her mother had no procedure in place for how she would react if it happened.

"Kaiko!" She races to her and picks her up, hugging her to herself. "I'm so sorry we didn't stay together. It was mama's fault."

Kaiko rubs her eyes, and it makes Someina that much more upset. "Its okay, mama. You were just a scaredy cat. I get scared sometimes, too."

"I'm sorry for not watching you both, better," Haru adds. "And for not suggesting something we could all do. I didn't think to ask if you thought it was too scary. I'm sorry."

"Its not your doing." She expels a breath, rolling her shoulders back. "Let's just start over at something else. I hear they have a mechanical bull and hayrides."

Haru coughs, trying to hide a sudden onslaught of chuckles.

She pins him with a bemused look. "Glad you find my panic hilarious, Mr. Take-My-Jacket-My-Dear-Damsel."

"You patronized yourself, Som. Not me."

She taps her foot, attempting to not laugh with him. "You were saying?"

As soon as she lets Kaiko down, he picks her up and throws Kaiko over his shoulder fireman style.

"Whee! Again! Again!"

Haru pivots so that he's towering over Someina again, coming practically toe-to-toe.

"I just find it morally wrong that you want me, a moo cow, to ride a bull. Isn't that sick, Kai?"

Kai?

"Yeah!" She chirps, staring up at her mother as they trek through piles of leaves to the petting zoo.

"See." Haru smirks. "She agrees with me."

Someina scoffs. "As if she understands a word of what you said. Agrees with you...yeah right," she grumbles the last part under her breath.

Haru's smirk melts into a grin, before he swings Kaiko back up onto his shoulders so that she sits atop them. Spotting brown, black, and cream colored ponies in the distance.

"We gotta hurry if we want to catch a Unicorn."

Kaiko covers his eyes with her hands, making Som crack up at how he starts stomping like a giant, arms stretched out in front of him.

"Unicorns only live on rainbows," she corrects him, yanking her hands back before he can bite her fingers. "Not in gold pokeys."

"Pfft, its where I met Princess Pony. You know that."

"No."

"Yeah."

" _No!_ "

" _Yeah!_ "

Someina looks back and forth between them, confused and amused at their exchange. But she wanted to be apart of it, too.

"Actually, Unicorns probably wouldn't appear anywhere near here," she says, earning one baffled look and one that pleaded with her to use her imagination. "Uh...I mean, they belong in a castle. With princesses like you."

Kaiko sticks her lip out in thought. "Castles have rainbow bridges." She faces forward again, finding herself content in that answer. "Mama knows Unicorns. Daddy only pretends."

Someina struts up to them, trying not to look too pleased with herself. "Someina - 1. Haru - 0."

He narrows his eyes. "Its like that?"

"Yup," she says, hip-checking him. "I may not look like much...but I can be savage when I want to be."

He groans, his head tipping back. "Please tell me you didn't just say that. Please tell me my hearing's just going because I'm getting old."

"What?" She elbows him, waggling her eyebrows. "You think I'm too elegant and uptight to roast you? You're mad wrong, broski."

He smacks a hand to his forehead. "I'll buy you a motorcycle if you stop right now. Please."

She pauses, half-way considering this. It wasn't what people like her friends or boyfriend would expect her to like. Heck, she thought the same. But lately...what she thought she liked and didn't were turning upside down.

"Alright, I'll stop." She holds up her hands, walking backwards so he can see she's serious. "And you don't even have to buy me anything."

Though it would be nice.

He acts like he's swiping sweat from his forehead. "Good. Now let's go see a Unicorn."

"Pony," Kaiko and Someina chime in unison.

"Okay. Let's go see a pony."

...

Hatori and Someina have seats up in the nosebleeds of the Peacocks' home game, stranded in a sea of people with foam fingers and team colors. Whenever the Peacocks gained more downs or scored a touchdown, their side of the stadium was soaked in triumph. Roaring like a thousand eagles taking flight with calls of majestic tour de force. Protecting their territory, their turf. But fumbles, tackles, and foul plays...they made everyone antsy as the numbers kept going up for the opposing team, while the home team's remained static.

"How is Kaiko doing?" Hatori asks, going through his wallet for something. "I remember she had a quiz on the five senses a few days ago."

Someina looks at him in surprise, truly not expecting him to retain something he might think minor. "Thank you for asking. She did really well. She passed with flying colors. But the best thing is that she likes her teacher and made a new friend."

He nods, handing her a handful of bills. "Glad to hear that."

His girlfriend curiously stares down at the large amount he's offering. "What's this for?"

"Allowance for a job well done." He indulges in a genuine half-smile, reaching for her hand to have her accept it. "Its right to reward good academics and proper behavior."

"But...I'd feel kind of indebted if I took this. Even on her behalf, its too much Hatori."

"Please let me do this one thing. Use it to buy her new clothes or books, I just want to help out."

She reluctantly tucks it away into her purse, flashing him a grateful smile.

"Thank you. You have no idea how helpful you're being." Even though she still feels bad for it.

"No problem."

Someina retrains her gaze on the field, just in time to see one of the opposing team's players running the ball right past theirs.

"D-up! D-up!" She shouts, standing in the bleachers with her hands cupped around her mouth. "You're leaving yourself wide open!"

She shares in a groan with the face painted audience, slumping back down into her seat beside Hatori. He was watching Someina more than the game, his one green eye attempting to read her like the scoreboard. And it was honestly no different considering they were both disappointments.

"You're not having a good time, are you?" She asks, picking at her week-old French manicure.

"Not really, no." He sighs and she wants to sigh with him. Cleary, inviting him to watch one of her favorite spectator sports was one of her worst ideas yet. He was cashing in his rain check, and she had a few traces of hope left that she might be able to show him this side of her. And that he would like who she was. Apparently, the only way to get him to bond with her was if she were ailing or surrounded by beakers and microscopes.

"What's the matter?" Someina asks, resting her chin in the palm of her hand. "The sucky plays, or the burnt food?"

Shock strips a couple years off his face at her speech, and she's not at all apologetic this time. Put her around him anywhere else; the cafe', at dinner, or even at her place and she was merely polite and hardly expressive. But take her to see a game or a ballet, and she was just as vocal as a PMS'ing girl with road rage.

He manages to pull together his usual stoic look, folding his hands together in his lap. "I'm baffled as to how someone can profit off of concussions and compound fractures that contact athletics inevitably lead to. How this can be enjoyable for you eludes me."

She smooths her hands over her black leggings, finding another effort wasted as he didn't care to compliment her once. She understood being respectful and not making lewd comments, but she was beginning to believe he wasn't attracted to her at all.

"Life is full of risks like those. Its fascinating how strong they become when goal oriented to protect their teammates and share the glory of touchdowns and winning catches." She claps a hand over her heart. "Their drive and passion and rhythm make me want to root for them. Even when they lose. They put us right there with them in the middle of the action, and we dump sports drinks on them and hoist them on our shoulders when we _all_ revel in their victory."

What she can see of his forehead creases in some emotion that wasn't easy to recognize. But whatever it was meant that this wasn't going well.

"But I ask if all that is worth being carried out on a stretcher when your aspirations die on the field because your risks are what killed them." He scowls when one of the players is tackled and his chin slams against the turf, though it only deepens when the football rookie is helped to his feet and given a slap on the butt. "How barbaric is it to act like primal beings whenever people compete?"

Someina grabs her soda from its cup holder and sips, annoyed that Dr Killjoy was dampening the fun and love she has for this game with his logic. She could kind of see the flawed logistics of the game, but it was the way they were so brave, bold, and strong that thrilled her. And because they could get dirty without caring who saw or what they thought. They got to be themselves doing what they loved with the mentorship of their coach, and the support of their brothers in jerseys.

Then she glances at him and thinks about why they're dating to begin with, what she intended to accomplish...and she sucks in a breath, shaking her cup to jostle the ice and get more liquid in her straw.

_You got this, Someina. Change the subject before you forget how to be the easy, cooperative girlfriend._

"The leaves look beautiful this time of year," she points out, smiling prettily and hoping to win him back over with it. "They're nice yellows and oranges and reds. The auburn leaves are my absolute favorites."

That they were. Haru and Kaiko had their preferences in apples and highlighters. Som? She found red fall leaves to be the most aesthetically pleasing part of autumn. It made her want to dance in them and make music in the ways she stepped on them with her galoshes.

"They are," he finally assents, pulling his gaze away from the game to her. "But winter always comes. And with it, the leaves wither away and night takes over. Here today...gone tomorrow."

This is not the man she thought she was dating. Yes, he was a downer when they first met. But after some time of being colleagues, he slowly cracked open and she saw some of the sweetness inside. Now it was as if he was retreating into himself, again. And it all transpired after-

After she told him that Haru was back in her life. She just hadn't told him that he was here to stay.

That won't be ugly at all.

She fakes a smile and crosses one leg over the other, suddenly feeling too casual with a man that never wore anything as crazy as a plain t-shirt and sweats. Back to Someina of the Fujimotos it was.

"Looks like they're not going into overtime. I suppose its for the better so that we can leave for home." She peeks up at him, internally deflated that he doesn't even notice that she switched up attitudes to appease him. "I would like to stop by for coffee tomorrow morningand make it up to you for dragging you to something you don't enjoy. I should know your tastes better than that."

But she's not so sure she wants to.

He nods, rising up and helping her out of her seat in the process to follow him up the stairs. His hands falling right into his pockets the moment she's steady, like he doesn't even want to hold her hand at all. When with Haru, it was the one thing they did that made her want his hands in other places.

"That would be lovely. I'll be sure to buy something we can eat if you make the espresso."

She bobs her head silently, not caring that he can't see.

She'd really hoped this was a chance for their relationship actually making her happy, instead of keeping her on her toes like painful ballet shoes. But it looked like both would remain hard reminders of who she was, and whom she had to stay to be back in her family's good graces.

...

On the other side of town, Haru beats on Rin's dark wooden apartment door. Loud and proud rock music blasting through the walls and spilling into the hallway. It was sad that his favorite song was playing as he came to deliver news she'd want to shove right back down his throat until he choked on it. He figured if it weren't for the fact he gave it to her good in bed, she'd castrate him quicker than he could say 'sorry.'

"Come in," Rin says, leaving the door wide open as she made her way back into the itty bitty kitchen. He kicks off his boots, though he's not sure he'll be staying long enough, seating himself on her stuffed couch in front of a massive painting. She didn't own a single TV because it was all boring or cliche, and she made fun of it too much to hear anything.

Instead, it was just the squiggles on white canvas that her mom boasted of being a priceless piece crafted by a famous artist. Imagine her surprise when it started to grow on her until she eventually forgot it was there.

"If you're here about your credit card bill, I'm done bleeding you dry." She brings him a plate piled high with grilled cheese, sitting cross-legged beside him with a vegan version. "My mom finally decided to stop being horrible long enough to wire me my funds back."

Haru nods stoically, knowing this is one of those rare moments they felt like friends who didn't argue.

"I'm just glad you didn't resort to shoplifting after you couldn't buy those harlequin novels of yours."

She scowls, slapping him on the shoulder. "Shut up. I wouldn't touch those with a ten foot pole."

He smirks. "Says the woman with signed copies."

She scoffs, taking an angry bite of her non-dairy cheese and whole wheat sandwich. Comfortable beside a man she enjoyed far more than she let on.

Maybe someday she'd say it. The big 'L' that meant rings and chapels and babies. But not unless he said it first.

"Rin." He swallows, wishing he had a glass of something strong to wash his fear down. "In high school, before we started dating...there was—"

"—Let me guess," she cuts him short, setting her mostly untouched plate down. "Your ex is psycho and wants to get back with you, but you're with me and you're warning me ahead of time."

He coughs, his food nearly going down the wrong pipe. "No. Nothing like that. You really are reading novels in your spare time, aren't you?"

She rolls her eyes. "Cut to the chase _before_ Christmas."

He dusts his hands of crumbs, nervous when she confiscates his plate and holds onto it. Would she smash it on his head until he forgot he was a dad in the first place?

"I have a daughter with someone from Kaibara High. It _was_ a one-night thing, but now we have another class together. And since I have a flexible schedule, I agreed to tune her car and have her stay with me until—"

Something shatters.

Rin breathes hard from where she stands, his plate broken pieces of the same dish, glistening as it embedded itself into her purple rug. Her hands balled into fists tight enough to clobber him unconscious.

He almost said 'please do.'

No one had to tell him twice that he was awful at being subtle.

Her next reaction isn't to yell, though. She also doesn't cry. No, she had too much stubbornness to break for him or her or the child that stood in between. At least not while he could see. She closes the gap between them and grabs his cheeks in her hands, chocolate mocha eyes melting his grey ones as she trembled. With rage or sadness, it was almost impossible to determine. But she was an emotional time bomb ready to go off any second.

"Is she pretty?" She bites the inside of her cheek, before switching up her line of questioning. "Is she dainty and sweet and smart? Is she in college?" Her hands fist again. "She is, isn't she? Of course you would pick a college girl over me."

"I didn't choose her, and she definitely didn't choose me." He grabs her by the shoulders firmly, not allowing her to kick him out just yet. "I never thought of you as less because you didn't get into a school, Rin. But we also don't work out unless we're silent and naked. You have to admit to that."

She takes in a shuddery breath, cursing her feelings back into the dark place they crawled out of. The need to beg him to love her with her profession of love on the very tip of her tongue, threatening to take the dive.

"So is this it?" She glowers up at him, closely guarding the shreds of her heart though it still somehow slipped through her fingers. "You dumping me?"

"I have no idea what I'm going to do. But I'm not ready to leave you."

**That's funny. Weren't you just whining about you being too similar? About how badly she treated you?**

_Even so...if Rin and I aren't together, I don't know how to be. Besides, I've always been attracted to her. Just not her attitude. We have fun together. I just don't like how she can get._

**Let's not forget 'Som'. The reason you ran to poor Rin in the first place.**

"Butt out," he says aloud, not meaning to voice his thoughts.

"Excuse me," Rin growls. "What are you on about?"

Quitting Rin was like an alcoholic passing up a drink. It may have been bad for him, but he kept going back until the hangovers drove him to the brink of insanity.

He sighs, burying his hands in his hair. "I...should go. I'm really confused right now."

She snorts, crossing her arms tightly. "Try my problem. You have some chick on the side with _your_ spawn on the loose, taking care of her like you...like you love her," she spits out, fury in her eyes. "And she's in your house? I bet she's who you're getting it from when you're not with me."

"Enough, Rin," Haru quips, rarely the one to raise his voice. "That's disgusting and its disrespectful to me, Someina, and you. I would never cheat. And I would never give the one I'm with anything less than my full attention."

He steps into his shoes, furiously fastening the buttons and zippers that dragged out his exit to the point it only ticked him off more.

Rin wanted him to just go already so she could lock herself in the bathroom, already exhausted of the breakdown she knew always came after one of their fights. Either that or tear her hair out.

She was tough as nails around anyone and everyone else. But with him, she was soft, sensitive, and vulnerable. Something she was scared to be right now for fear of him shoving her away. For good.

She hugs her arms around her body the moment he slams the door behind him, staring down at her feet as her vision blurs against her will.

She hated that she needed his body around hers and their souls connected. She hated that she found her needs and wants in him. But she hated one thing above all else—

The fact she loved him and would rather die than tell him. Because pain of knowing that he'd had someone before her reduced her down to nothing. It was death without the procession.

...

Haru yanks the key from the ignition of his hog, without a helmet to tear off as his frustration mounted with each heavy crunch of his boots. His girlfriend was the human obituary that was still being written for him. And day after day (or more accurately, their nights and morning afters) were where his tragedies lied with no flag to fly half-mast in memoriam of them.

Be still his blinding rage as a petite woman paced back and forth along the gravel roads, the soles of her shoes picking up pebbles like a metal detector as she fumed under her breath, pulling at her beautiful hair. Hair he sometimes dreamed about to ward off nightmares that his girlfriend's dirty mouth and hateful stare brought. And it controlled his body like a marionette bending to the will of its puppet master, stepping in front of Someina so that she skidded to a halt and gaped up at him.

She was wearing something odd and unexpected. A blue and green football jersey, paired with leggings that made for feverish flashbacks of that tight little dress she wore to dinner. And as she planted her hands on her hips and pouted her exquisitely red lips, he could pretend that they were the only souls at dinner that night. With no one else to interrupt.

"How did she take it?" Someina asks, skittish as a stray.

Haru runs a hand over the back of his neck, attempting to massage the nasty crick today's tension had set into it. Knots as big as a baseball were already bravely taking up their post.

"If I'm not bleeding and there's nothing in my hair, the ceramic must have not sprayed too far."

Her eyes comically pop out of her head. "What?!"

Haru laughs, reaching out to grab her hands in assurance. "I was joking. Though she definitely wasn't throwing a party in my honor to commemorate my newfound fatherhood."

"This is all my fault," Someina grumbles, releasing his hands to resume her stalking up and down the street. "Its my fault!"

He comes up behind her and tugs on the back of her jersey, tempted to scoop her up and spin her around until she giggled and made life brighter.

"Its technically both our faults," he says, giving her a wink so fast she's sure she imagined it. "Come here, I want to do something."

She eyes him skeptically, though she follows him anyway, allowing him to link their hands together again.

He leads them towards a massive puddle by a stop sign that stands tall on the end of the street. They had just experienced a thunderstorm before he left Rin's, and now the area still smelled of rain as the sun pierced brightening clouds.

He smirks, giving her hand a tug. "I dare you to step in it."

She gasps. "That's...that's preposterous! Aren't you supposed to be chivalrous and throw your jacket over it or something? I would look so stupid jumping around in a puddle."

No, you wouldn't. You'd look like a water nymph as you danced in it. You'd look radiant.

"Are you scared?" He teases, letting the grin spread across his features. "I thought you had courage and basked in it."

She shoots him a dubious look, before returning her attention back to the reflective pool. "You must be getting me confused with a girl that works at the nearby cafe'. She knows what she's doing when she's in her element." Someina looks up with mock thoughtfulness. "I can get her for you if you want."

He decides to take matters into his own hands and he takes big steps until he's splashing through the puddle, sending some of the water up to hit her legs without meaning to.

"Sorry about that."

She narrows her eyes, before launching herself at him. "That tears it, Hatsuharu!"

They engage into a full out battle to see who can splash the other person more, kicking up water like they would never run out until they're both left panting with the exertion.

"T-truce?" She proposes, offering her manicured hand for an armistice.

His smirk is the only thing she sees. "Truce," he says, grabbing her hand as if to shake it before they crash to the ground and find themselves submerged in the puddle.

The light in her eyes is the painkiller that he wasn't prescribed to take, though he was quickly getting hooked. And soon, rules wouldn't touch it.

He had never smiled more than he did when she laughed herself silly right beside him.

...

Somehow, Haru and Someina find themselves sitting shoulder to shoulder on his couch as they review the material for an upcoming Physics exam. She absently thumbs through the pages when Haru's hand idles on her ankle, though his eyes are in his book.

She bites the end of her pen, curiously eyeing his fingers as they deftly run up and down in a light way that doesn't seem purposeful. The gentle sensation made her want to give him more to touch, and he wasn't even trying. But otherwise, she was calm, cool, collected. Nothing could distract her from their studies.

"What'd you get for page 43?" He asks, yanking her out of her daze. "The one about motion energy."

"Oh, right! Um..." She rapidly flips through pages until she ends up skipping over page 43, and reels it back. "Motion energy is kinetic energy that's transitioned from stored energy to moving energy."

"Right," he confirms, tapping his fingers on her ankle. Making it that much harder to concentrate. "But I'm looking for something beyond textbook definitions."

There he goes sounding like a professor again.

"I don't know if you noticed, but I kind of blow at physics." She shoves the book aside, wanting to chuck it across the room. Or throw it in the microwave. Whichever destroyed it faster. "Probing someone's mind and helping them through things that actually happen is my forte. Not hypothetical situations of applying Physics to going to the grocery store."

He laughs, the sound as warm and rich as dark chocolate. "It's actually used a lot more than you think with applications that make sense. But you don't have to like it to learn it." He crosses one leg over his knee, his other arm casually slung over the couch. "Do you need help?"

_Boy does she ever._

"No, thank you. I'm just confused by every last thing having to do with this class." She reluctantly gets to her feet, at a loss when his hand travels back to his side. "I'm gonna grab some coffee and make toast to clear my head. Do you want some?"

"Too much. But I guess a snack will do."

She pauses in grabbing two blonde blend coffees from his fridge, wondering if his statement carried nearly as many innuendos as she was hearing. When she returns to her seat and hands him his plate and coffee, she becomes aware of how stuffy it is with the heater kicking in. Fine and good for her uncovered legs, not so much for her long-sleeved v-neck sweater.

She removes her hair tie and shakes out her hair to cool down, fingering through its strands to attempt some damage control of her tangles. But without a comb or brush...its moot point. Instead, she sweeps it over her shoulder, lifting her textbook back into her lap.

"Alright, commercial break over. What section are we on?"

Someina glances up at him and her lungs reject an intake of air, forcing it out in a gasp as she traces the path of his stare. Pointed at the length of her neck like a dart aiming at a bulls-eye.

"Haru?"

His lips part slightly, and she's transfixed by the roll of his throat when he swallows. And her mind drifts off to teeth and biting and flawless skin that practically begged for it. Then she comes back to herself and commands her brain out of the gutter.

" _Haru_ ," she repeats, finally sparking life back into his dark eyes.

"What?"

"You were staring at me."

His eyebrows crease. "I was?"

"You were."

What seemed to be their favorite pastime whenever they were together.

He chews on his thumbnail, his expression somehow gorgeous in its contemplation. He slowly withdraws it, his book laying cockeyed across his lap in the wake of whatever this is.

"Your neck is—never mind." He reclaims his book before it crashes to the floor, resuming his place. "We're supposed to be able to explain how a basic roller-coaster works, then build one for extra-credit."

She wants to press him. The desire to is there, burning right in her core. But she wasn't ready to venture into the deadly territory of what's beginning to build between them. Its best to stay where its safe...between the pages of their Physics class.

"The one where we drop a marble and write up a report of improvements and failures?"

He nods, masking his face in indifference. "Yeah. That."

"Oh..." She waits, trying to see if he'll take initiative and delegate their roles. It doesn't happen. "Since you're excellent in this class, could you build the model and let me document?"

"Sure." He rubs his forehead, looking more run down than he did at the start. "I'll get started on the schematics of its design if you work on the template of our report."

She breathes a sigh of relief. Yes, strictly working was much better. It was the only way to rectify anything. "That's perfect."

...

Long after Haru went to bed from their three hour study session, Someina pored over her Physics textbooks for another two. Empty bottles of once cold coffee cluttered the space around her as she sat with her textbook in her lap and balanced her open notebook on her knee. Her eyes were going back and forth between blurry and clear as she reviewed Alpha Particles and their effect on Radioactive Decay. While alternating and jotting down their findings with the first test run of their roller coaster.

She squeezes her eyes shut and lets them fly open, blinking a few times in a feeble attempt to get this complex information to stay in her brain where it belongs. But nothing was working out very well.

With an annoyed and weary sigh, she slides the text off her and onto the creamy sofa cushions. Getting to her feet unsteadily, and stumbling towards the bathroom while careful not to wake Kaiko.

The moment she's sealed up in the room, she falls forward and barely grabs the sink's edge as a hammer of dizziness comes down on her hard, erupting in an explosive headache. She sputters with a cough as her vision fades in and out again, grabbing her bathroom cup and shoving it under the faucet.

Maybe she hadn't eaten enough with the caffeine. And it probably didn't help that it was well into 5 am and she hadn't had a wink of sleep since 7 am yesterday.

She gulps the refreshingly cold water and sets the cup back down, forcing herself to swallow when her body wants her doing the exact opposite. She discovers this when her stomach gives a lurch like its been kicked with one of Haru's boots. Then turned inside out, spun like pizza dough, and shoved back in.

Someina slaps a hand over her mouth as her stomach gurgles and growls unpleasantly, all color draining from her face as she craves someplace she can lay down.

But before she can, she drops to her knees in front of the toilet when they give out. Hyperventilating as the fear of fainting plagues her heavily. Her hands falling to the clean white tiles as she breathes in and out in full on panic.

That panic is short lived.

Someina starts throwing up and can't stop, quivering like a surfer in Antarctica as she broke into a cold sweat from all the stress and upset. She feels weaker and weaker, paler and paler. A mess of helpless tears and mortification as her dry heaves quieted, even while her stomach still screamed for relief.

"Som? Are you sick? I hear someone-" Haru's formerly sleepy eyes widen in alarm before he rushes over to where she hangs limply over the toilet seat. His strong grip easily capturing her skinny arms to pull her to her feet. Wrapping his own arm around her waist when he sees she can't stand by herself.

"Here, let's get you cleaned up," he says, his voice a calming balm for her frantic, frazzled mind. "Did you throw up in the sheets at all? Or did you make it to the toilet completely?"

"Made it. No sheets," she croaks, feeling pathetic while he helps her wash her hands and offers her a spare manual toothbrush. And the entire time she brushes, he holds her in place with his hands cupping her waist like an expert in handling her body. Keeping her perfectly stable and still.

After she spits in the sink, he plucks the toothbrush from her hand and discards it in the trash. Flicking on the faucet until cold water came out once more.

"I'm gonna give you a cold compress to lay over your forehead." He leads her until they stand in his room, lowering her onto the Queen-sized mattress and rushing back out. He comes away with a damp purple wash cloth that he gingerly applies to her forehead. The coolness making her relax deep into this bed and its satin black sheets.

He pulls the covers up over her and seats himself on the ledge beside her, his eyes tender and somehow upset at the same time. He extends his hand to brush a ringed thumb over her cheek, gently stroking.

"You didn't stay up after I left to study some more, did you?" He challenges, his tone practically begging that she had more sense than that. "Especially after you've been running around all week and working."

She hesitates, slowly nodding as she didn't have a clue as to how he'd react. Which is exactly why him moving around the bed to slip in on the other side was the furthest guess from her sleep-deprived mind. He leaned up on his elbow from where it rested on the pillow, his muscled chest pressed against her bare shoulder as he looked down at her.

"You're gonna get me in trouble, aren't you...?"

_Say what?_

He circles his arms around her before resting his chin on her shoulder. The most intimate he's ever dared to get with her in five years. And between her exhaustion, terror, and attraction...she wasn't exactly fending him off. Instead, she turns just so her compress stays on while she inches towards him. Her hands clutching his shoulder blades as she fought muscle memory of throwing her leg over his hip to bring them closer.

Things were already blurry enough with all these long hours.

His lips delicately rest against her neck, but its not deliberate. He inhales the lingering scent of soap and body spray on her skin, stirring up potent memories as his eyes fall closed.

"Y'know..." he trails off, his voice gruff and slightly husky "...You feel pretty cold. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"No," she says softly, not quite sure where he was going with this. "I don't share a bed with anyone that would tell me."

He eases up his hold a bit. "Your boyfriend's not the honest type? He'd rather suffer popsicle legs and icicle hands?"

She rolls her eyes, poking him in the cheek when she gets a hand free. "He's not my type at all," she lets out, inhaling sharply when she realizes what she said. "Um...I mean, we don't sleep together."

That wasn't much better.

Someina cringes, knowing her mouth was a runaway train. Its been, what? A few years since she was groomed to watch her mouth and develop a filter. But in under a month, Haru was reducing her to a tragically blunt and volatile woman. One that questioned everything she knew.

Questions he didn't mind answering without words.

He gets bolder, lifting his chin to face her and she's granted a nice angle of his beautiful jawline. "He's robbing himself." His fingers tingle down her arm to the inside of her wrist. "I know firsthand."

She peers at him through surprised blues, a blush setting off the rest of her body to follow suit.

"I'm that decent?" She jokes, desperate for order in the chaos.

He nods, smiling mischievously. "I remember the way you looked...moved...breathed with me." He leans over her further, on his forearms to barely keep from being flush against her. "I stupidly tried to repeat it, but it never felt the same." He takes her hand in his to place over his wildly bucking heart, as if expecting her to tame it.

"Never feeling you would be the biggest and dumbest mistake of his life." He draws her hand up to his lips, kissing it like a prince would a princess. "Because there's nothing that can top it."

She shivered for what felt like a lifetime of chills, secretly glad he hadn't let go of her hand.

"Aren't you a little biased with me being your first?" She teases, growing increasingly afraid of the aching of her lips and other pieces that once dared connect with his. "You might not know any better."

He shakes his head, stoic as he can ever be.

"Trust me, Som. I know." With finality to his words, he rolls back over so that he's just loosely holding her to himself.

The comfort she takes in his body heat and the way his necklace dangles in soothing motions has her on his hook. Its an inexplicable feeling that makes her want to pull him close enough that she can add his heartbeat to her playlist. To stain her body once more with his, and to memorialize it.

Instead, she forces herself to relax the best she can...but then, he shifts, and his breaths fan up and down her skin until they make her feel delirious.

"Wanna know a secret about me?" She breathes, desperate to distract from her rogue thoughts.

"What kind of secret?" He throws his arm over her torso without a care in the world. "Something we didn't cover in our game?"

She nods quickly, causing the washcloth to flop onto his sheets. "Yes."

"So tell me," he challenges, his eyes as dark as his tone.

"That night we had," she whispers, suddenly afraid to say it out loud, "Even though it makes me sound like a head case...ever since then, it feels like there's flames licking my bones. Like its something in me that wants to inspire mayhem and chaos and excitement.

"Its why I raced that guy. And its why I cried when you told me about your scar."

She lifts her hand, but drops it before she can touch his scar. Though she was tempted to know what it felt like so badly, her curiosity practically swallowed her in it. Curious about risks and high stakes, burning rubber and gasoline. There was the urge to touch the tattoo of his risks and imagine the experience was hers. Because she'd never earned her own scar.

It made her feel like she didn't have a history to tell people about, to reflect on. It was crushing to think she hadn't really lived.

"I was mourning the fact I never got to ride a motorcycle or to be myself, whoever that is." She shakes her head, clearing her eyes of their burning blur. "I'm starting to think I want to be a little bit reckless."

That maybe motorcycles and leather jackets were more her than sweaters and sedans.

His eyes move back and forth between hers, and she's suddenly hyper-aware that they're almost body to body with the lull of intimate conversation pulling them together.

With a heavy sigh, he sinks back into his side and folds his arms behind his head. She looks over his profile and sees nothing but struggle and confusion. And for some reason, it doesn't sit right with her at all.

A face as beautiful as his should forever be accessorized with a smile.

"That side of you..." he turns his head, ink black eyes painting her as they linger. "Don't starve it. Unleash it, or you'll feel trapped until you do."

She wets her lips with her tongue, unsure of why his words sounded as if they'd bounced around his head a long time.

"Have you been there?"

He snorts, returning to resting on his hip so that they were face to face. "Been there? I live there, Som. And there's a part of me that's never satisfied until I get into a fight or risk my life. Its a deadly part that I tried to kill once, for it to come back with a vengeance until I fed it with a rush that no one else understands. Except maybe you."

"Your girlfriend not an adrenaline junkie?" She retorts, a bitter edge to her voice she doesn't recognize.

He clasps his hands together over his toned stomach, returning to staring up at the ceiling to avoid her gaze. "Just because she's with me doesn't mean she likes thrills. She's either masochistic or lonely, and I'm the next best thing." He closes his eyes with a pinched intake of air, like he's talking without being able to stop. "Ask me why I chose her and I would tell you the truth."

"Which is?"

"That I'm replacing someone that I can never have. And I'm her placeholder until she finds whatever she's looking for."

Someina's heart plummets so far down that there's no sound when it finally stops. And words stick to her tongue even though she wants to tell him the real reason she was with Hatori. And what she would give if she could change everything. But she doesn't and this night is messy as is. So she rolls over to create more distance, shoving one hand under the borrowed pillow as she forces herself to lie still. And she listens until his breaths slow and even as his eyes fall closed.

"Night."

"...goodnight, Haru."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Chapter 6 and the ones following will include Kaiko a lot more, the stage is being set for all of it. Trust ;) This one was a lot more about HaruxSomeina with a couple of reveals about both of them. And oddly enough...this story's nearly perfect song choice would be "Eyes Closed" by Halsey. Which wasn't intentional. But, I'm not mad at it.
> 
> My Answer To Last Chapter's Question: Plenty of odd food combinations have been tried by yours truly. Hawaiian rolls and ketchup, milkshakes and fries (though this is pretty popular now), watermelon sprinkled with salt. A ton.
> 
> Chapter Question: What is your favorite hobby/sport?


	5. Naughty Or Nice

**Chapter Five: Naughty or Nice**

Kaiko and her mother bustle past a window that glowed with gold and silver Christmas lights. The display was shimmering in garland to match, a single spotlight pointed at a Christmas town set that cost her at least three of her paychecks. Kaiko shamelessly presses her nose to the glass, fogging it up as she looked in.

"We should get that." She jumps in place with the birth of an idea. "Do you think daddy would like it?"

Someina brings Kaiko into a side-hug, staring wistfully at the ice skating rink with skaters magnetically looping around the 'frozen over lake'.

"I'm not sure. But you know we can't afford it, Kaiko. Maybe next year."

She stomps her booted foot, causing her curls to bounce with her pre-tantrum. "Its no fair. I wanted a Barbie that could do cheer tricks, and you said next year. I wanted a bike and you said next year. I want this now!"

Someina sighs exasperatedly, knowing that most of the time, her almost-six-year-old was well behaved. But there were moments she got fussy. This was one of the worst ones.

"You know mommy works and goes to school, just like you. But I also don't have a lot of money. And what do you need to buy something?"

Kaiko's lip trembles, her eyes shining with tears. "M-money."

"Yes," she says softly, pulling her away from the window by her hand. "I saved up some money to get you something better. But I can't buy you everything."

Even though she felt like the failure she was branded to be, never having enough to live on.

...

The girls all gathered around Tohru's apartment, taking up the couch with presents, blankets, and a bottle of rose' for an evening in. They all agreed to draw each others names for a gift exchange, and Uo was up first.

"I hope you remembered that I need a new switchblade," Uo says, shaking the box near her ear to get a better guess. "It sounds a little light to be that."

She lifts the green top, her one visible eye bugging out at the sight.

"Alright...who's bright idea was it to buy me earrings?"

Tohru raises her hand, her trademark smile in full effect. "I thought they would be perfect for your style. If you ever decide to start stretching."

Uo turns the gauges and tapers over in her hands, looking them over thoughtfully, before turning to Tohru.

"You really think I could pull that off?"

She nods, smiling brightly. "You would look fashionably Uo. And Kureno agrees."

"What?" Uo gapes. "When did he say anything to you?"

She plays with her hair, looking to the ceiling. "When he helped me shop this week, he said you would like it."

Someina smiles, reaching for a glittery blue box to check the label. "You're supposed to guess who bought it, Uo. Its all in the fun of the gift exchange."

"Guess smesh," she brushes off. "Who's next?"

Hana uncovers a small, white cardboard box to find a cloak from Someina. Its material as fine as she could afford, a rich purple and black that draped perfectly over her form without dwarfing her.

"This is exactly what I wanted." She fingers the velvety cloth. "The quality is outstanding which can only mean its from Someina."

She brightens at her stream of compliments. "Its not too trendy for your tastes?"

Hana smiles. "Its my favorite gift," she says, ignoring Uo's protesting of the muff she'd bought (two Christmases ago) being under appreciated. "Thank you, Someina."

"You're welcome."

After Tohru opens her limited edition Fairy Tale book from Hana, it comes down to the last present.

"Your turn, Meina," Uo says, rubbing her hands together. "I want to see your expression when you see what I got you."

"What could it be? Pepper spray? A baton? A-" her hands fly to her mouth. "-Uo! H-how did you manage to track this down? I thought it was discontinued!"

She smirks. "I know a guy. He's the uncle of the guitarist and got me the debut album in mint condition. Feel free to love me forever."

Someina hugs it to her chest, promising to never part with it. "I can't believe you got me Sheath's album! I started listening to them my first year in high school."

She chews her lower lip, remembering another person in her life that was also a fan. Her sister.

Shaking her head of the memory, she throws an arm around Uo to usher in a group hug that they eagerly join in.

"Merry Christmas, guys."

"Merry Christmas, Someina," Tohru says, radiating with a smile that lights up the room.

...

Later that evening, Haru and Someina put the finishing touches on what would surely be an eventful dinner.

Because it would be the first meeting between Kaiko's father and Someina's boyfriend.

"It smells like a five star restaurant in here," Someina says, taking in the summery, refreshment of Arugula salad being tossed. The punch of curry and peppery turkey seated beside flavorful ham.

Her stomach lets out a growl loud enough that she blushes, causing Haru to smile.

"I do try to cook sometimes. Just an unfortunate side effect of living, I guess."

She breathes a sigh of relief, thankful he's not teasing her for her stomach's betrayal, gliding into the kitchen in hopes of sampling early.

"No." He playfully slaps her wrist. "Not yet. At least not before I meet this guy and I can stop being anxious."

Someina cocks her head. "You're nervous? I thought nothing scared you." Her surprise dissolves into mischief. "Except clowns, of course."

He wipes his hands on a towel, before swiveling towards her. An eyebrow raised in challenge. "Ok then...its only right if you tell me what gets _you_ worked up. Since you know mine."

She shifts her gaze to her feet, mumbling, "You," under her breath.

He steps closer, cupping a hand under her chin to look into her bright blue eyes.

"Say that again..."

The tension in her stomach only tightens, her exhale traveling between them.

"You get me worked up. I don't know how to act with you."

He strokes her cheek with his thumb, encouraging her to focus on him again. And in her eyes, he finds moonlight, and everything else that radiates in the dark.

"You do the same to me."

They're so close...

He wants to touch her. But he merely grazes the surface of water that her moonlight reflects on, left with only a mirage of the fantasy itself.

She withdraws from him, turning away to regain her bearings.

"So, dinner has to wait until Kaiko and my boyfriend arrive?"

He winces at the way the mere mention of her boyfriend wounds him. Choosing to hide his mood by busying himself with preparing another side dish.

"I'll just get some rice going. You can go rest in the meantime."

Someina sighs, running her hands through her hair. "I'm sorry, I really don't want things to be weird between us...maybe we just need some icebreaker."

"What do you suggest?"

She smiles, picking up a magazine she found a quiz in.

"I'm thinking a personality test would be a lot of fun."

He looks over her shoulder, his eyes landing on the opposite page.

"'What kind of lover are you?' I knew your exotic tastes was something I've always liked about you."

Someina stutters in her attempt to backpedal, failing to explain. "That's not what I meant. I...never mind..."

He decides to allow her space and starts setting the table, putting out plates and glasses. "You can ask me the questions and I'll answer."

She clears her throat, her heart fluttering at the first question.

"What is your ideal date? A) Keeping it cozy in the Hamptons, B) Making a splash in the tropics, or C) Getting frisky at a party?"

He pauses in placing a pair of chopsticks, thinking it over. "I guess A, with B being the runner up. Because I do like adventure...but getting intimate?" He meets her gaze. "That I like better."

The magazine begins to slip from her hands, barely managing to catch it before it falls. "Oh, I see..." She bites her tongue to keep from squealing in embarrassment at the next question. Really wishing she had asked to do another quiz.

"I'm ready when you are," he says, clearly enjoying it as he stifles his chuckling.

_You can do this, Someina._

_Take the bull by the horns!_

_Although...that metaphor seems very inappropriate right now._

"Question two; what is the best way to get it on? A) On a bed of roses, B) In the back of a car or public place, or C) In front of a camera to watch it back?"

This was the absolute worst dinner game she could have imagined! These questions belonged in interrogations.

He smirks, dragging out his answer in 'thoughtful silence' to make her squirm. And it was all too easy.

"Would you judge me if I said in front of a camera?"

She gulps so audibly it seems to ring in her ears. Her blood boiling out of something far worse than anger.

"Um, well, no. I just...why would you want to?" She squeaks.

He leans against the table in front of her, his palms resting on either side. "Because I already forgot the best sex of my life, once. Why would I leave it up to my memory again?"

He gives her a meaningful look, like there's a hidden message in his words for her to figure out.

Was he saying that he never wanted to forget no matter who he was with?

Or, was he hoping for a second chance with her?

"On that note, I think we should play something else," she says, flinging the magazine aside.

He gasps as if scandalized, getting down on his knees and wrapping his arms around her legs. "Don't leave me hanging Someina. I need to know if I'm a wild, passionate lover."

She rolls her eyes at his teasing, helping him back to his feet. "Then you can take it when I'm not here. I, on the other hand, want to do something more festive."

"Like?"

She looks all around the room, finally settling on a box of Starburst flavored candy canes.

"I have a guessing game we can play." She shuffles over to the end table to pull it from the stack, thankful that they ran out of room on the tree after all. "One of us gives the other a candy cane, then that person has to figure out what flavor it is."

"That's fair. And the rice _does_ do most of the cooking on its own." He shrugs. "I'm game."

"Do you want to blindfold me?" Someina asks, dominating his gaze with her soft lips as they spoke. "Or do you want to taste it?"

He cocks an eyebrow.

"Candy canes! I'm talking about the candy canes."

He slings an arm over the back of his chair, slouching. "I don't know, Som...maybe we shouldn't we be doing this while we're alone. Its starting to sound like trouble."

Especially since she looked like a scarlet vision in her Holiday dress. A sexy five alarm material that had a plunging neckline with a slit that raced up the side, giving him a hint of leg every time she moved. And she moved...a lot.

"Nonsense! It would be a step up from that silly personality test."

She tears through the package with her red nails, her cheeks stained pink. If she could only see how much she resembled a valentine, she'd blush even more.

It was a tempting thought...

"We can handle being alone," she adds, "Its not like we're a thing..."

He lifts his head towards the ceiling, finding safety in its familiar texture over every flash of skin he was teased with.

"Yeah, we're not a thing."

He could hear Black Haru snickering in the background, though he doesn't give it the satisfaction.

"But if we do play, I want to be the one making you guess."

Her cherry red lips part in surprise as he moves to trade places with her, sitting her down by grabbing her shoulders. He surveys the room for what he could use for a blindfold, immediately throwing out the idea of socks and two eyepatches he didn't feel like explaining.

He finally settles on a tie (aka the single one he owns), a black satin one that he knots in the back and waves a hand over her eyes to double check she couldn't see.

"Som, what am I wearing right now?"

She crosses her arms, smiling. "A black button up and black jeans. If you're wondering about whether I'm able to see, I can't. But I didn't forget how you were dressed before I was blindfolded."

"Oh yeah..." he hums. "Never mind, then. Here's the first one."

He tears the plastic with his teeth, unrolling it before delicately brushing his thumb over her lips to coax her mouth open. She sucks on it and he swallows, beginning to regret their roles in this game.

"It tastes like...watermelon. No, wait-" she licks the end of it and he shifts his footing. "Green Apple. Am I right?"

"Huh?"

Her brows furrow. "Is it Green Apple?"

He absently glances at the label again, before setting it down on the table. "Yup."

She dances in her seat. "Looks like its Som - 1, Haru - 0 in round two! I'm ready for more."

Haru clears his throat awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. "Maybe we should play something else while we wait for everyone to arrive. This is kind of boring."

**Boring? The only way this could get even more 'boring' is if you let her try it right off you.**

"It is?" She frowns, her shoulders drooping a little. "I thought it would be fun, but...I guess I really _wouldn't_ know fun if it hit me."

He sighs, grabbing another from the box. "Its not boring...I just said that because-"

 **This should be good**.

"Because we just started and I'm already losing."

She scoffs. "Oh, is that all? You'll get over it."

He narrows his eyes. "Just for that, I'll give you a hard one."

"..."

"..."

"On second thought," she says, removing the tie, "I should probably call Tohru to find out what's taking her so long. I want Kaiko to be back in time for dinner."

"Yeah, do that. You should."

He drops onto the couch, his head in his hands.

Great. Now he couldn't even speak around her.

...

While Haru is in the bathroom, the doorbell rings. Causing Someina to drop Cosmo on the table in a race to answer it.

"Just a second!"

She opens the door to have a dozen roses brandished in her face, cloaked in plastic, bound in one bouquet by a satin pink ribbon.

"It is of the genus Rosa, and of it springs Rosaceae. I specifically picked French Lace in hopes of complimenting your dark hair."

Her jaw can't help but drop. "You have your own garden? I never knew that."

He tips his head imperceptibly. "Its more of a public greenhouse within the main estates. I had a...lady friend that once showed me how to nurture a bed of roses and pansies."

The next thing he hands her is a teddy bear dressed in a doctor's coat with a stethoscope around its neck and head mirror.

"This is something for Kaiko. It might be too early to express interest in a career path, but it might inspire her to become a doctor in the future."

She accepts this gift more hesitantly. "Isn't that like leading the witness? Or in this case, Kaiko?"

Hatori smiles good naturedly. "I just believe it to be a stable career. My cousins have gone unconventional routes. And it speaks for them."

"Oh? Like?"

Hatori shakes his head. "A fantasy costume shop, and authoring erotic stories."

Someina stifles a laugh in her hand. "You gotta make a living somehow."

He dips his head in shame. "I usually don't mention them for that very reason. At least some of them are making progress. One just passed the bar, and the other is high up in his mechanic career."

At those words, her smile fades. And reality of their back-and-forth relationship comes circling back like a vulture.

"Yeah. Funny you should mention mechanics..."

"It almost escaped me," Hatori says, patting his pockets until he finds the last gift. Plucking it from his trousers and ceremoniously offering it to Someina. "Something to stand as my oath to save you whenever you need it. To know that I'll take care of you when you're sick. And protect you and Kaiko."

In her nervousness, Someina hurriedly sets the flowers and bear aside, fumbling as she pops the black tube open.

"Hatori!" She exclaims, lifting a single silvery symbol on a thin chain out of its box. "Caduceus?"

He smiles warmly, gesturing for her to turn her back to him. Taking it to help put it on. "You're familiar?"

"Of course. Its a medical symbol, vastly known. I just don't know the history behind it."

"It is said to have two origins in being confused with the rod of Asclepius. One of greek mythology that correlates with Hermes and his staff. The other, which I believe, is the one based on the staff with snakes in Moses' camp. Which...I guess isn't the most lighthearted."

"Oh."

"Though it does hold positive associations with wisdom, eloquence, trade-"

"Hatori?"

The voice from the living room makes them jump, leaving no time to ask Hatori about his change of heart.

"Haru?"

"You two know each other?" Someina confirms, pointing between them.

"We're cousins," they say, looking at each other. "What are you doing here?"

"This is my place, Hatori," Haru says.

"I thought I would be dining with Someina, Kaiko, and her father."

Haru stands taller. "I am her father."

"Ok, I think that's enough Star Wars for you," Someina jokes, stepping between them. "Why don't we adjourn to the kitchen for food. Kaiko will be dropped off any moment."

"How could you be so irresponsible?" Hatori retorts. "To think that you must have had a child when you were seventeen years old. Such carelessness."

"Sorry we can't all be as sensible as you, Hatori." Haru gets in his face, his eyes so sharp they could cut an iceberg. "Some of us care more about what we feel in the moment than degrees that just sit around collecting dust for the sake of having them."

"Please," Someina pleads, vying for the end of their testosterone fueled tongue lashing. "Let's just enjoy the meal-"

"Better that than to have a baby before ever growing out of that stage, yourself," Hatori snaps.

Haru laughs darkly. "You do realize that when you insult me about this, you're also insulting Someina and Kaiko. Apparently, all that time in school merited nothing but weak rebuttals and pathetic attempts at affection," he says, jerking his head towards the gifts he brought.

Before Hatori can say something back, a thump sounds from the door. Followed by a small voice.

"Mommy! Open up. I'm starving!"

The men straighten as Someina reopens the door, barely getting a hug in before she darts into her dad's arms.

"Hey, Kai. Tohru didn't feed you a bunch of choco cake?"

"No," she huffs. "Mama told her not to because supper. Now I want food!"

Haru sets her back down on the floor, walking her to the bathroom sink. "Alright. But first, you gotta wash up."

Someina rubs her bare arms as the awkward silence slips in the space between herself and Hatori. Things were already exhausting and weird when it was just the three of them. Which is why a terrible sense of dread came with the louder beating on the door.

"I'll get it," Hatori says with a resigned sigh, opening it to reveal a vivacious brunette in thigh high boots and a little black dress.

Someina couldn't stand comparisons. Yet she found herself sizing up the older woman casting off her fur coat, unabashedly shoving past Hatori.

"Where's Haru?"

"In the bathroom. Look, Rin-"

"I don't want to hear it, Hatori." She spins on her heel, glowering. "I just want to get in and get out. He has a lot of my things, and I'm taking them back."

She makes it a mere two inches before Someina fills her view, the distant sound of approaching footsteps barely registering in her recogniton.

" _You_." She glances over her shoulder at Haru, who's now hanging off to the side with wide eyes. "She's the girl you kept staring at!"

"Excuse us," Haru says, directing Kaiko back to her mom before grabbing Rin's hand. "We can talk in my room."

"You think you can get me to do anything?" Rin growls. "I came here for my crap, not to hear your lousy excuses."

"Rin. Please." Haru pleads through gritted teeth. "In the other room."

"Mama, who's the mean lady?" Kaiko asks, Someina clapping a hand over her mouth too late.

" _Kaiko_."

Rin's face turns red in anger, only stalled by her boyfriend dragging her into the room with him. Before he tug on his lamp, Rin pounces on him so that they both fall back onto his bed. She, wasting no time to capture his lips in a last ditch effort to quell the burning in her chest that made it harder to breathe.

He doesn't kiss back. And it hurts. It hurts so badly, she can't stand it. She draws her finger down his abdomen, causing him to part his lips with a sharp inhale. Rin seizes the opportunity and dares his tongue to meet hers. To let her know that he felt all of this as deep in his soul as she did. That they weren't just lovers at night between the sheets, but during the day while talking together.

He pulls away completely, rolling out from beneath her to reach the lamp, pulling the cord to reveal the hideous mess they found themselves in. Rin, with her clothes unbuttoned and unkempt. Tears that pause to fall, her nude lips comforted by his for a final moment before everything would get further away from them.

"Rin-"

"Shut up," she says, shoving her clothes back in place and standing up. She yanks open his drawers and pulls everything out until she finds her clothes. She searches the room - and he lets her - for albums they jammed to, borrowed books, pictures, and mementos.

She carries it all in her arms, some of it falling to the floor in her haste to leave.

He steps in front of the door, grabbing for some of her things. "I could help you carry this out to your car. But we still haven't talked yet."

"Don't you get it?" She shouts, everything she held collapsing around her. "I can't talk to you, Haru! You love her. You want her. I saw it on our date without even knowing who she was.

"I don't want to feel this anymore. I don't want to be your stand by whore when she bangs Hatori."

"That's not even-"

"I love you, you idiot!" She cuts him off, shouldering past him. "I'm not gonna keep giving you my heart or my body when you only ever let me borrow yours."

"You love me?" He echoes, following her out the door with whatever he still carried. Down the hall to her high speed car. "You...love me?"

"Who cares?" She snaps, unlocking the front door and trying to slam it closed, not expecting him to wedge his foot in the door. "Why don't you go back to your little family and never speak to me again."

"I never wanted to lose you, Rin."

She scoffs, but he holds up his hand.

"I mean that. When we started going steady, I was raw and on the rebound. A girl I had feelings for had just walked out of my life without any explanation. So, yeah. I like Someina. But I like you, Rin.

"I thought I could move on from her by moving onto you. I was stupid for thinking that way. But...eventually, I started to wonder if you'd ever become more to me than my friend and girlfriend. It took me a while to realize we fight more than we get along. And I'm always afraid of saying the wrong thing around you."

He takes in a breath, his hand coming up to finger one of her tresses. Feeling a stab of pain in his chest that tells of how genuine he felt for her. Once. That if they weren't so alike and yet so incompatible...he wouldn't want to walk down the aisle with anyone else.

"I...do love you...as a friend, Rin. Because it hurts too much to love you any other way. And I need time to get to know my daughter. Without interference."

"Mine?"

"No, my feelings. I don't know what I want yet. I just know what I don't."

He releases her door, allowing her to pull it in and start her car. The engine hiding the sound of her heart falling dead to the floor as she takes one shaky breath.

"The stuff I came here for..."

"Yeah?"

"...mail it to me."

With that, she throws the car into reverse and backs up. Driving at top speed into the night and leaving Haru standing in the parking lot for a few idle moments.

Where he wonders...

What could have been different had he lessened this weight sooner.

...

Back at the table, the four start dinner in all consuming silence. With the exception of sips from wine glasses, clanks of forks, and rustling of napkins.

Hatori polishes off the bottle of vintage Sangiovese he toted, dabbing at his lips with a cloth napkin.

"Are you looking forward to graduating soon?"

Someina swallows, nodding. "Yes. I'm finally able to finish my degree in Psychology and pursue an internship with the esteemed Jin Liada."

"Wow, Som. That sounds like an amazing opportunity." Haru smiles, pointedly sticking to water for the evening. "I'm proud of you."

Hatori's brows pinch together. "Som? You address her so informally that I'm surprised we didn't run into each other sooner."

Oh great.

"Boys-"

"Yeah, well. When you're studying and working on cars, you don't really find the free time to wine and whine." He pretends to catch himself in his phrasing, his eyes wide. "Oh, sorry. I forgot...wine selection is what you rich snobs do for fun while we work beneath you."

Hatori folds his arms with a look that could kill. "Last I checked, you _were_ one of the 'rich snobs' before you decided to turn your back on your family."

Haru scoffs. "You mean the same dysfunctional family that wouldn't know how to be civil if it bit them on the-"

"-You're always so foul mouthed with nothing to show for it," Hatori's voice overlaps his,bolstered by the medium bodied wine. "Its no surprise that you have yet to declare a major."

"Make it stop," Kaiko cries, running from the room with her hands over her ears.

Someina starts to follow her, only to have Hatori pull her to a halt by her elbow.

"Someina? A word?"

She snatches her arm away in frustration, wanting this night to end more than she wanted to be a polite lady.

"I need to console my daughter because of the screaming match you two decided to have."

She sucks in a harsh breath, letting all her thoughts out in an exhale.

"You're suffocating and almost as bad as my parents. I feel like I can't be myself around you or even compromise because you're so close minded! Earning my parents' approval is not worth the stress, and quite frankly, I'm tired of you taking all my efforts at this relationship for granted. If nothing else...I need time and space to breathe and learn about what I actually want or need. I can't while you're causing me to act like someone I hate."

She quickly undoes the clasp on her necklace and shoves it into his hand, kicking off her heels on the way to Haru's bedroom for Kaiko.

Hatori closes his palm as Haru rocks on his feet, unsure of whether any of them were winning or losing big tonight. If Someina was anything like him, she was lost, broken, and completely confused. And who could blame them? Feelings were involved and they rarely ever made sense.

"Are you happy?" Hatori questions, a dark look in his eyes only mildly disguising his sadness. "Its clear that she needed me out of the way to make room for you. I'm deeply disappointed in you."

Haru shakes his head, reeling in the absurdity of it all.

"What?"

Hatori snatches up his coat and tucks the necklace into his pocket, making for the door. "I would think becoming a man would have meant owning up to your responsibilities while being mature enough to keep your own woman. Not steal someone else's."

"Hold up. Let's get one thing straight." Haru closes the gap in a few booted steps. "I liked her before you even knew what it was like to feel her warmth beside you. I connected with her in a way I wouldn't taunt any man with, because it is special to me. And there was no stealing...we both never agreed to be a couple, and my breakup hurt me even though I know it was the best decision. So don't belittle us by saying that I 'stole her'. Because if I did pursue her, I would work until I was half worthy of her. Because no one could ever fully be."

Hatori nods slowly, his hand around the door knob as Haru's words sunk in. And befitting the strange vibe of the night, he was somehow proud. Seeing that he truly was serious about her, even if he didn't know it himself. Making for a truly formidable adversary.

"I will leave you three to yourselves. I know that I have overstayed my welcome as I haven't been faithful to her. Kana is still in my heart because she refuses to leave. So I need time to consider what I'm doing. Or if I will only remain married to my career and nothing else." Hatori opens the door, bowing out. "Take care of her. And tell Kaiko that she can keep the present. I would never want to hurt her."

And with that, concludes a night where everyone found themselves strung out on hurt feelings. Only broken up by the intermission of New Year's Eve prep and finals.

...

Seven days later...

Haru and Someina spent most of the holidays in a fog of confusion. Mourning what was while celebrating what could be. Because even though their past relationships weren't healthy for either of them, it felt like losing a best friend or dear companion.

The only thing that gave her any solace was how much Kaiko loved her Barbie Cruise Ship. It had taken layaway and saving all year, with help from Haru to afford it. But she would never trade that feeling for any other Christmas present she could receive.

In lieu of their breakups, they both were holed up taking exams, working, and spending time with their daughter to go anywhere. It took being dragged out of the house by Uo and Kureno for a New Year's bash on the pavilion to be social, again.

They were simply biding time with drink after drink and small talk, until Uo approached.

"Come on you, two. Quit moping around," Uo says, throwing an arm around Someina and Haru. "So what if you got dumped. That's what booze is for."

She jumps, flailing her arms like a flag person directing a ship.

"Kureno!"

To her annoyance, he doesn't hear her. Instead, he's shuffling his way to the edge of the crowd to have the least amount of human interaction possible.

She breaks out a festive flask and starts guzzling away, chasing after her own man before he can try to leave.

Haru eyes the woman beside him, taking another sip from his flute glass before setting it down on a nearby table. He takes one of her hands in his own, causing her to snap her head up in surprise.

"I know we're both still...not ourselves. But it is New Years and people are dancing." He shrugs. "It could help."

She supposed it wouldn't kill her if she agreed to one dance. So long as it wasn't ballet, nothing could go wrong.

She allows herself to be pulled along, both edging their way through the mass of warm bodies to the center of the dance floor. He gingerly directs her to dance close to him, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. She closes her eyes and times her hips to his, swept under the haze of music and champagne.

His lips brush across the plane of her neck, like they have a mind of their own. Just like the hand that moves to the back of his head to tangle her fingers in his black and white mane. A choreography they'd only danced a handful of times, seldom with other partners.

"Is it wrong that I've been wanting to kiss you here again?" He asks, his voice the same fatal low that promised to do her in. "Because I've been wanting to do it for days..."

She raises her head to properly look him in the eyes, his forehead resting against hers.

"Just as wrong as me wanting you to."

He sighs, his hands moving to grip her waist and pull her closer. "I really wasn't planning on flirting with you or kissing you tonight. Out of respect for Rin and Hatori, I was going to keep my distance as much as I could."

"But?"

He gives a pained smile. "But I can't. I want to end and begin the year with you like this."

She runs her palms down his chest, a breath passing her lips. "Its weird, isn't it? The fact that we're practically strangers but I feel closer to you than my own family." She scoffs. "Though, to be fair, being closer isn't saying much."

He laughs. "You're kind of bad at seducing me into a New Year's kiss."

She quirks an eyebrow, a daring smile set to tease him. "Who said that's what I'm after. Maybe I'm trying to tell you I see you like a brother."

With no heads up, his hands smooth down her waist to hook his thumbs into her back pockets. The surprise of him being so forward causing her to arch against him, everything else fading to a haze.

"Somehow I doubt that."

Just in that moment, the music cuts out and a countdown begins.

"10...9...8..."

He angles his head so that their lips almost touch.

"7...6...5..."

She leans up on her tip toes so that they meet.

"4...3...2..."

And he moves his lips against hers, both closing their eyes as they share in this moment together. Their hearts both touching down in the end zone after having been benched all season, victorious in beginning to play.

"1! Happy New Year!" Roars the crowd, backed by pops of fireworks that explode across the sky in brilliant colors.

They break the connection of their mouths to look up, a myriad of confetti raining down as the firework show continues to boom in the background.

"Happy New Year, Haru," Someina says with bubbly laughter, causing him to smile down at her.

"Happy New Year, Som," he says back, gathering her into his arms to watch the display together.

Both with a hope in their hearts for what's to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The relationships between HaruxRin and HatorixSomeina were never supposed to be the focal point of the story, though they were and still are integral to the plot.
> 
> Its not the last of them. Nor does it mean that Haru and Someina are automatically a thing, because there are still other factors to overcome. It'll definitely make more sense when you see it play out later on.
> 
> My Answer To Last Chapter's Question: I would just say creating because there's too many things I love doing to just list one. Writing, Drawing, Making Videos, Music, etc...
> 
> Chapter Question: What is your favorite thing about the Holidays?


	6. Collage

**Chapter Six: Collage**

"I can't believe its been so long since we last saw each other," Uo exclaims, falling back on Hana's velvety purple sofa. "When was the last time?"

"Christmas?" Tohru asks.

"No, I was out of town visiting Megumi," Hana corrects, picking up Uo's wayward shoes and setting them neatly by the door. "I know Tohru was visiting the shrine with Kyo. But Uo and Someina were together."

"New Years," Someina says, submitting herself into the conversation. "You were drinking out of a flask with a Christmas tree on it, remember?"

"Actually, that's probably why I don't remember." Uo says cheekily, patting her belly. "I get tanked on Holidays and birthdays. You remember my 18th?"

"Yeah. But that's what's expected when you turn legal," Someina says, crossing one leg over another. "But then, you drink on any day of the week ending in -day."

Uo laughs. "That's true. Hey-" she gently moves Someina's leg so that her foot drops back to the ground. "No sitting like a lady in waiting. Its just us. You can relax, dude."

"Uo please. I'm hardly sitting formally. I wasn't even sitting up straight that time. So there!" She sticks her tongue out.

"Doesn't count unless you sit like I do," she retorts, gesturing at her leg slung over the arm of the couch as she lounges without a care in the world."Who said guys are the only ones that can sit with their legs open? I mean, we open our legs for them don't we?"

"Uo!" Tohru squeaks, brushing her hair down as she blushes. "Isn't it up to Someina to be ladylike? Though I get that you're trying to help..."

"Yes, 'Ru. But we're trying to break bad habits."

"Despite her crude way of putting it, I do agree with Uo," Hana says, floating to her own seat and noiselessly taking it. "Someina has spent her entire life living for someone else. If she chooses to maintain formal mannerisms, it should be because of preference. Not of fear and upbringing."

"Which is why I think its time for a change," Uo says, slamming her fist into her palm. "Something that will make a statement and a reminder to yourself that you're not gonna live that way anymore."

Hana glides back into the kitchen when the microwave beeps, somehow graceful enough to bring over two trays of pizza rolls without skipping a beat. "What do you propose? A change to her garments?"

"Um-" Someina starts, rapidly turning pale.

"-Nah, that's not necessary." Uo waves that off, picking up a pizza roll and burning the tips of her fingers. "Ow! I forgot how hot these things get."

"Are you okay?" Tohru asks, bolting to her feet. "Do you need antiseptic or something? How bad is your burn?"

"I'm fine, Tohru. It was just me being too stupid to wait is all." She sucks her thumb to soothe it. "What I meant was a haircut or a dye job."

Someina grabs her ends in both hands, a look of true horror crossing her features. "I couldn't! I hate attention, and that would bring nothing but!"

"Come on guys. Back me up on this one," Uo pleads.

Tohru brightens, setting down her cup of blonde coffee. "I think a pink streak would be cute. Or add purples and blues...you'd look like a mermaid!"

"Or get a pixie cut," Uo adds. "Well? Any suggestions, Han?"

Their sharp and observant host sipped calmly from a freshly brewed cup of lemon tea, still poised in her hands when she says, "Something that will make you uncomfortable to learn how to adapt. Life won't always be favorable in catering to the tame and familiar. What you need is red. Because red represents power. Something you don't lack, but don't know how to tap into otherwise."

Someina sits back, coming up short on ways to refute that. Because it sounded not only critical, but smart. Rational. Rational she could work with. It had purpose and meaning. Two things her upbringing didn't.

"Soo? What are ya thinking?" Uo asks, rubbing her hands together. "You down or a clown?"

Someina snorted a laugh, getting a kick out of imagining Haru's reaction to those words. "I am with it."

"...I guess that's better than you saying-" Uo sits up straight, pinky up "-this would be a most educational and mentally stimulating experience. I say, let us engage in such festivities."

Someina sits up to poke Uo in the arm, rolling her eyes. "You're being extra."

That was enough to make Uo collapse to the floor, for the unauthorized and unnatural slang that hung in the air like Parisian cuisine too eccentric for their palette.

...

Bluesy music plays from an old eight-track stereo Haru bought Momiji for his birthday - being the music lover that he is - as they, Yuki and Kyo sat around the basement turned man cave/music studio.

Kyo lets out a loud and long belch, crushing his can of Asashi with his eyes narrowed in brazen challenge."Beat that one, rat."

Yuki scoffs, turning the page of one of his heavy, thick law books. Not even bothering to acknowledge his rival's antics.

"Why are you looking to Yuki, anyway?" Haru asks. "You've got a perfectly good person to dare right here. Unless you're a wimp."

Kyo tips his head back, puffing out his chest and jutting out his jaw. "You're on. I challenge you to burp the entire alphabet."

"Easy."

"Backwards and standing on your head."

"What is _wrong_ with you?" Yuki mutters to himself, bringing his book up closer to his face to block out the brewing testosterone.

Haru rolls his short sleeves up, though they immediately fall as he gets into a headstand. "Watch and learn. You're gonna see how a real man burps."

"Can you do it on command without drinking anything?" Momiji asks, eyes wide and awed. "Can you?!"

"You tell me." He screws his eyes shut as he sucks in a gust of air. "Z...Y...X...W...V...U...T..."

"Wow," Momiji breathes, recording everything on his phone for 'posterity' as Kyo grumbled at Haru's flawless recitation.

"C...B...A...There," Haru finishes, falling forward until he's upright again, sitting back on his haunches. "I told you...cute try, though."

"Shuddup," Kyo snaps bitterly, collapsing back on the couch. "Why are we here anyways? I could be at home with someone that actually matters."

"You mean To-hru," Momiji sings, breaking into a laughing fit eerily similar to Ayame.

"We're here because Haru needs help deciding what he wants to do with his life," Yuki says, silently admonishing him for dragging the riceball into this. "I sincerely suggest any career in the executive or judicial branch. It doesn't have to be an attorney or a judge."

Kyo mock yawns. "Boring. But I guess it makes sense coming from roadkill."

Yuki wears a look that promised fatality, though he schools it when he remembers the law he tries to uphold in and out of the courtroom. "Martial arts isn't everything its cracked up to be, either. Its practically daycare with violence."

"Shut your cheese hole, girly-boy. You don't know what you're talking about. Daycares are more violent than boxing rings sometimes."

Yuki lays his book over his chest, clasping his hands together. "Well, I stand corrected," he says dryly. "You would know, wouldn't you? What lunchbox do you bring? Wonder Pets or Dora The Explorer?"

"Alright, already," Haru butts in, massaging his forehead. "I definitely canrule out counseling. I don't know if I could go to work everyday to headaches like the two of you together."

"Then what do you want to do?" Momiji presses, beginning to tick jobs off his fingers. "Cook? Serve? DJ? Produce? Dance? Paint? Design? Build? Put out fires? Walk the beat?"

"There are so many options its been making my head spin," Haru answers honestly, looking away. "I just know I like fixing cars."

"Is that all?" Momiji continues. "What about trains or planes? Do they interest you?"

"Yeah. Boats, too. I don't know why, but I always like getting to know the inside and learning how something works by taking it apart and putting it back together. Doctoring anything wrong with it and modifying it so that its better than it was before. But I kind of do that as a mechanic now, and I'm still not satisfied."

"What about engineering?" Yuki queries. "That sounds exactly like what you're describing."

"Engineering..." Haru repeats, tasting it in his mouth. "Engineering. That seems...kinda...cool. Yeah. I should try engineering." He looks from Momiji to Yuki, before coming back to himself. "But I don't know where to begin."

"There's a simple fix for that, silly," Momiji teases, lifting his laptop and plopping it in Haru's lap once he seats himself on the red rug around the coffee table. "You Google whatever you don't know, pay for what you need, and work as hard as you can."

"He's not entirely off base," Yuki adds. "That is where everyone starts. Well, unless you're Kyo. Then you never start anywhere."

"Why, you..."

Haru chuckles, his fingers dancing over the keys to hunt for Engineering schools and studies. "I'm just glad I don't feel lost, anymore."

...

The psych ward of Someina's apprenticeship was your basic house of horrors. Screams of corrupt government and other conspiracies came in hot with layers of expletives. It was like a lasagna of insanity that you could smell from the waiting room.

Her flip phone vibrates with a text, and she lights up when she sees it.

_Have fun mommy! :) Kaiko said that, btw._

_\- Haru_

She bites back a laugh, her fingers flying over the buttons in response.

_Thank you sweetie :D That was for Kaiko, by the way ;)_

"Ahem." Someina jumps when a bald man clears his throat, eyeing her as if she were one of his dodgy clientele.

"Surely you're not my first appointment. I'm expecting a butch swede with a lisp."'

"No! I'm so sorry," she says, scrambling to pocket her phone and smooth out the crease in her blazer. "I'm Fujioka Someina. Its my first day on the job as an intern."

Why did she add that last part? That wouldn't sound promising to a guy that wears corduroy and elbow patches. She was just waiting for him to tell her he smoked cigars and collected ascots.

"I see," he grumbles, one hand tightening around his brief case as the other holds his morning coffee. "Follow me to my office. We have much to discuss before we get started."

He steps behind a glass partition that spans a long hallway, to which she fast walks to keep up as she becomes overstimulated by everything there is to see and hear. Crying and laughter, conversations and appliances. Not to mention the classy decor and its rich accents. It was everything that she dreamed of quadrupled.

They finally arrive at his large reddish wooden door. And she waits patiently for him to look through his massive key chain for the one that would unlock his office.

"Ah," he exclaims to himself, turning and pushing the door open. Earning a groan of the wood scraping the floor in response. They shuffle into the room and are immersed in light when he flicks the switch before settling in at his desk.

"Now..." he sets his half-empty mug down - blank and unrevealing - to bring his laptop up onto the mahogany desk. "A few questions; are you a college student or a graduate?"

"I graduated in December with my associates degree in Psychology. They explained that it was one of the only prerequisites for this position during the application process."

"I'm not giving you the heave ho, I'm asking for the benefit of knowing who is studying under my tutelage. Surely you understand that things slip through the cracks, from time to time."

She nods, ducking her head when heat flares on her cheeks. "My apologies."

He presses on as if never interrupted. "Have you ever worked in the psychology field in any capacity?"

"No sir."

"Do you drink?"

Her eyebrows draw together. "On nights, but never the hard stuff."

"Smoke?"

"No."

"Committed any crimes?"

"Never."

Was this personal or professional?

"Now the most important question...what made you decide to take this path?"

She clears her throat. "Sorry, what were you asking?"

He leans forward with elbow patches resting on his recently buffed desk, steepling his fingers. "What made you decide to take this path?"

That's what she was afraid of. That single culmination of all those years of school, late nights, and struggles. Why she went through all of that when she wasn't masochistic.

"I don't have an answer for you at the moment." She smooths her clasped hands over her knee, choosing her words carefully. "I do want to be honest and tell you that I'm figuring it out as I go. But, I've always leaned towards studying the mind and the intricate, complex, war-torn human psyche. Because I love the concept of being a storm chaser - so to speak."

He taps his fingers together, his glass eye pointedly keeping to their movement. "I see. So, to recapitalize...you're only truly qualified to fetch my lunch and answer phones. Because if you're honest with yourself, you are vastly unprepared."

She hangs her head, moving to sit on her hands to keep from fleeing. She felt like such a flop, and she hadn't even clocked in yet.

"You aren't ready to help others until you learn to help yourself." Someina looks up at the man seated across from her. He leans back with hands still together. His good eye reminding her of the way Hatori paralyzed her with his soul-searching. Because the one thing he always did was analyze, and she was left to not crawl out of her skin under the pressure their unvoiced opinions laid on her. This moment was like all the others except for one thing...

_Hope._

Like, his doubt and trust were both equally vying to extend themselves to her.

"Are you married, Miss Fujioka?"

"No."

"What about children?"

"Yes," she cautiously replies, wondering if he was back to his original line of questioning. "I have a daughter."

This seems to make him relax, sinking down as much as his professional posture will allow. "Wonderful. I want you to really study your daughter. Be there during any extracurricular activities. Take note of what she likes to watch, read, say. Observe her traits and report back with how you felt in a five paragraph reflection. This will tell me - and yourself - how much you want this. And why."

He scratches at his full grown beard in thought, exacting far more mercy than she would have expected.

"Tell you what."

He gets up and hobbles on his wooden leg that hadn't been noticeable earlier in her nervousness. He, exploring a filing cabinet until he settles on an orange folder novel thick. The name on it hadn't been redacted, but titled with initials.

"This is for you," he finishes, placing it in her hands before sitting on the edge of his desk. "They are a former patient of mine that has undergone ECT for his condition. Electroconclusive Therapy, which is Shock Treatment in Layman terms. This was your original assignment before you told me you didn't know why you're here. But-" he puts a finger up. "If you manage to complete both in a week's time, you will have not only gained my fullest respect. But you will also be ready to sit in on an open group therapy session.

"One last thing. If you manage to get through a week of this internship with a true smile on your face at the end with all that I have asked, I will offer you the full year to gain what you may. However, should you fail, you will immediately be asked to leave and reevaluate your choice of practice and career altogether. Are we understood?"

That was a tall order for such a small girl. But what she lacked in size, she more than made up for in her heart for people. And if it only took her coming out of this enjoying the fruits of her labor, then it was a challenge she couldn't turn away.

His methods were far more unconventional than his personality revealed. But she supposed it wasn't the most trying assignment she'd been dealt.

"Do you understand?"

There was that question again.

"Yes. Yes I understand."

...

"No, I ordered daises for the reception, not pansies! The bride is ritualistic and has to have daisies at every major event." A short, slender woman paces the ground outside the organic market, speaking into her bluetooth in a clipped tone as she works her tablet. "Well, somebody somewhere needs to fix it before somebody somewhere gets fired, got it?"

She sighs as if the world's weight rests squarely on her lungs with crushing pressure. A tension headache beginning to pound at her temples.

"Just get it done, okay? I'm in town for this wedding for only a month, which is a day in the calendar of a wedding planner. No one can afford to mess around when the venue is an exclusive country club with a time sensitive event. So please make it fast."

With that, she hangs up and turns, freezing up when she comes face to face with Someina. Smoothing out invisible wrinkles in her velvety red dress that was a size too perfect, and straightening her matching beret.

"Caramel?" Someina walks forward cautiously, curiously. "What are you doing outside of Europe? I thought you lived there now."

Her sister's laughter rings in disbelief, looking every bit amused with their father's brown eyes. "We really shouldn't lose touch like that. I've been back for two years. I live only an hour away by car." She throws her arms around Someina's waist, her former scent of fruity perfume switched out with something regal and expensive. "I'm only here for a wedding I'm planning, big sister. The best caterer in the country is said to be here and fit to cater a wedding gala of this stature."

Someina steps out of the unsolicited embrace, more wary that Cara heard about her act in the shoe store than her on the hunt for some pretentious, sell out of a chef.

"Let's discuss why you're really here. Mom and dad think I should be written back in and then banished again to make it stick, yeah?"

Cara scoffs. "Always one for being dramatic. Impressive, but dramatic. Especially with a stunt like you pulled...tabloids will be eating good for weeks. But equipped with the kind of beauty and brains you have, I'm sure you'll charm your way out."

Someina plants a hand on her hip, clicking her tongue. "Mom and dad pit you against me and you bit. For someone with the grades you had, you're not making a very good case for why I should even be talking to you."

Caramel tucks her tablet into her flashy, stuffed designer purse. Her perfectly shaped eyebrows pinching together. "Mom and dad didn't do anything. You alienated yourself when you ran from home."

"I did? Really?"

"Uh...sha'. For a shrink, you sure know how to play dumb." She huffs, glancing at her brilliant wristwatch fleshed with diamonds. "You had a baby and decided to leave home. You assumed we'd reject you because you never gave us a chance to prove otherwise."

Someina scrubs a hand over her mouth, still finding it too unreal to voice her shock. How her wolves for parents tore into her and gave her baby sister the leftovers to deal with.

"I didn't leave. That would imply a voluntary decision on my part." She shakes her head, stepping forward. "I was bad press for them. A snafu that needed to be killed before damage control became impossible."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...wait!" Caramel thrusts her hand out, trying to make heads or tails out of everything at once. "They can be cruel when it comes to scooping up allies and racking up wins in the courtroom, but we're family. We're their children."

Someina laughs bitterly, finding it hard to continue looking at her sister as she laid into her fantasies. "Winning Prosecutors don't have children. They have pawns. They use us to capture the queen - companies with soft spots for togetherness and the future being the up and coming youth. They paraded us in flouncy hats and pageant crowns. They only let us hangout with the other rich kids and established us in boarding and private schools. The moment I screwed up, I was made to vanish five years so that it could die down and not be brought back." She clasps her hands behind her back, disguising their trembling with a stretch. "I'm more free this way. I just regret you not being around to hang out like we used to. And, maybe...you could have gotten to know Kaiko." Her father as well.

Caramel looks at Someina with curious sadness in her hazel eyes, her other hand hoisting her bag up higher.

"You named her forgiveness?" Caramel snorts, her hand flying up to hide it too late. "You always did love your irony didn't you?"

Someina rolls her eyes. "So not what I was thinking when I named her. It just felt..." she shrugs "...right."

"Huh. Well, then that makes it doubly ironic. Or..." she puts a hand on her chin. "Would that be triple...? Anyhow," she says, shaking it off. "I've got a hot date with ordering placemats and napkins. So..." She rummages through her bag for her champagne colored wallet, the brand's emblem speaking volumes in case you missed the memo from her expensive purse.

"Here's my card. It has my number on it in case you want to go to the beach or dinner together while I'm around."

Someina examines it, reading her name above the embossed motto; _With this card, I thee wed_. Including her hours of operation being 24/7. Which explained the heavy makeup job. Though with how much covering up she did using pounds of foundation, Someina was surprised she didn't advertise 25/8.

"Well...ciao! Or as I like to say, TTOTFS! Ta-ta on the flip side."

With a spring in her step that does nothing to betray the fresh shock of her presence, she disappears.

...

Every five seconds Someina's given her hair an experimental run through to make sure she actually 'grew a pair' and went through with it. Because twenty-one years of the same plain black, long hair to vibrant red highlights was no small feat.

The first thing she notices is Haru at the bar with a bowl of cereal, spooning it into his mouth as he went through his cell phone. Occasionally tapping away on his screen while the milk dripped off the silverware.

She starts to sneak past him, clutching her work for the evening to her chest when she hears his phone thud to the counter. She spins to see his spoon still poised near his open mouth, his breath stolen by the visage of her.

"S-Someina..."

She subconsciously tucks her hair behind her ear, still not sure if it looked good or bad.

"Wow, you calling me by my full name? This must be major."

He abandons his brunch and phone altogether, sliding out of the stool to come over to her. His eyes moving all over her like a museum curator taking deep pleasure in how well kept the merchandise was. How invaluably beautiful.

"It looks hot on you," he says, his tone low as he gives her a more in depth look over. "Red stands out. Its bold and fiery." He smiles. "I like it."

She flushes scarlet, almost upstaging her highlights. "Thanks. I should have known a man with two hair colors would appreciate it."

He nods, running his thumb along his bracelet as his eyes dance dangerously with hers. "That's kind of sexist since you're judging me by the color of my hair."

Someina laughs, her hands flying to her cheeks. "What? None of that made sense."

"I know," he says. "But it got you to laugh instead of running off like you seem to be considering."

She sobers quickly, fidgeting with her hands as she begins feeling awkward again. "You don't feel weird that we're kind of flirting when we're alone and standing this close."

He smiles, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. "I think its sexy."

Her blush darkens at him using 'Sexy' in the same universe as her, gesturing over her shoulder towards the bathroom. "I'm just gonna...y'know-" she takes her stuff and books it from the room faster than Usain Bolt to do her favorite thing.

Lock herself in the bathroom long enough to get over being a spazz.

...

_Bright and early the next morning..._

The strong, pungent aroma of paint drenched the newest addition to his home - Kaiko's bedroom. It was hard to tell what it was unless you squinted long enough to start hallucinating it into existence. But it was coming along every free moment Someina and their daughter were out and about. Because it was a secret and would remain a secret until it was done.

"What colors do girls like?" Haru asks, eyeing a purple and pink paint swatch. "I feel like it'd be sexist if I picked something feminine. But it would be impersonal if it were gender neutral..."

"Who cares?" Hiro gripes, dipping his roller into a plastic pan of mauve paint.

Haru lowers the swatches, narrowing his eyes. " _You_ should considering I'm paying you as a contractor for these renovations. Which is only contingent on you meeting my standards, in case you forgot."

The former ram rolls his eyes, laying the roller back down. "Whatever."

He was trying to go on the cheap and keep the labor on the down low to avoid even breathing anywhere near his family's inheritance. Not to mention it would be splashed on Forbe's magazine if he did start to make waves in the family treasury's allocation of funds.

But was the stress of collaborating with Hiro that much better than groveling at Akito's door?

"I figured I'd ask you since you know what Kisa likes."

"Don't you? She's always hanging around you like a lost puppy," he shoots back, his eyes dancing with envy.

"She followed me around, but she talked to you more. If you don't know what your girlfriend likes then you shouldn't be dating her."

Hiro balls his hands into fists. "Shut up! I never said that I didn't you stupid co-"

"-Watch it."

He snorts angrily, shoving his hands into his paint stained jeans. "You're not paying me enough to put up with this crap. Just ask the woman you knocked up to tell you. If you don't know what your daughter likes, maybe you shouldn't be a dad."

Haru takes a deep, deep inhale to rein his temper back with a tighter grip on an already loosening leash. It was like dealing with Kyo on a rainy day while Momiji pounded energy drinks and Shigure recited love poems to make Ayame giggle in dolphin-high frequencies. It was peace's suicide.

**No one would blame us if we snapped his neck. Really. We'd be doing everyone a favor. We might even get a parade in our honor.**

Haru redirects his glare to the ceiling, counting to ten.

Because honestly...that didn't sound too illegal...

"Just finish adding tape to the baseboards and taking measurements. I'm stepping out for an hour."

Ignoring the boy's hailstorm of complaints, Haru quickly locks the front door behind him and leaves for the toy store. Hopefully he'd have better success finding video games and Barbies than he did picking out paint colors.

...

It felt like an out of body experience walking into Madame Breia's studio. Seeing that much of it was the same. The old and familiar floor-to-length mirrors; the mural that boasted the silhouettes of ballerinas in motion; the traditional tan, polished wood floors that have braced the pain of broken dreams and broken ankles. It captured every tear, drop of blood, and bead of sweat. It reflected each and every failure and victory - not allowed the luxury of forgetting one - of each ballet dancer that ever traipsed the floors. From five years of age to twenty.

Now Someina had to stomach the idea that seven other girls Kaiko was joining would be lacing up to leave their hearts on the polished floors. As they balanced on pointed toes, touching stars she was too afraid to reach for again, under the guidance of her former instructor that taught her everything she knew.

Saying it was hard was an understatement.

"Well who do we have here?" A brunette lady with a beauty mark above her lip, that danced to the rhythm of her speech, approached lithely as a panther. Her hair shaped into a neat, perfect bun without a strand out of place.

"I'm five and three quarters," Kaiko says, hands planted on the hips of her tutu. "How old are you? 75?"

She slaps a hand over her forehead, embarrassed and even more so when Madame Breia busts out into a belly laugh.

"You're close. But I'm actually only 36. I was asking your name, though."

"Kaiko," she says, still a little suspicious of her age. "Mommy says I'm not supposed to talk to strangers."

Someina pats her head, smiling reassuringly when she looks up at her. "Its alright, Kaiko. She's your teacher. Why don't you go introduce yourself to your classmates while we talk?"

"Okay," she says, pulling her mother down to peck her on the cheek before peeling off towards the other girls.

Twirling in place when two girls that look to be twelve or thirteen focus their attention on her.

Someina stands, heart thudding in her chest as she wondered whether either of them would be welcomed or not.

"Someina Grace Fujioka," her old teacher says, stepping in her line of sight, "You're back? My eyes aren't deceiving me?"

"I'm not here for me. I'm here because she expressed interest in ballet." Someina's eyes dart back to Kaiko, wondering if those girls were laughing with her or at her. "Don't go getting ideas about writing me a solo. I know how you get when the mood strikes you."

Madame laughs, flipping a black folding chair around to sit in sideways. "You know Tchaikovsky had to have created the Flower dance with you in mind. There is no one able to challenge his compositions to keep up with them the way you manage to."

"He can see into the future to find his muse? Sign me up for that! It would cure my writers block for work."

"So sarcastic," she lightly chastises, distracted by a flash of azure in the corner of her eye. Madame lifts her cane, directing it at a girl with blond hair and glittery blue eyeshadow. "Redo that jete'. Work on startups and landings for the next ten."

"Yes ma'am," she says, quick to spring into action and avoid Madame's wrath. "I'll be better by the end of the day."

"You need to be better by the end of class," Madame corrects. "Set your pace and transcend your own limitations Peri."

She waits for an affirmative nod before turning back to her former pupil. "I try not to make these flowers wilt when I correct them. But girls are so soft these days. Not like how they were when I was teaching you. You girls were ready for anything with the hearts of soldiers and the fierceness to match."

"Maybe that's the issue," Someina says. "Maybe it just wasn't fun anymore."

The woman seated looks her in the eyes, deliberately shaking her head slowly.

"Someina Grace, I've taught a thousand and fifteeen students with different reasons for learning. For balance, for agility. For scholarships and applications. Because their family living vicariously through them or to be with their friends. But the genuine performers do exist, and they're my personal favorites to work with."

She holds out a hand to take Someina's, patting it in a gentle way she's never experienced before. "I can tell when they aren't in it even when their body is. But Someina Grace...you are not one of those people. You are a genuine, true performer. Regardless of why you started."

She releases her hand with a squeeze, standing and dusting herself off before assuming her perfect posture. One that spoke of training thought it was merely habit eyes scan the crowd of children and teens, no one older as this wasn't the adult class.

"If you never put on another pair of slippers, I understand. But there will never be another dancer that lives in the art of ballet quite like you do. You need to stop letting the heart your parents broke get in the way of something this precious. In the meantime, I will do what I can to train your daughter to see if she has the same heart." She claps her hands, grabbing her students' rapt attention. "Stretching and warm-ups are done?"

"Yes, Madame Breia," they roar back.

"Then begin partner work. I want to see those feet fluttering off the ground more than they touch it. Go!"

Someina rubs her arm, dragging herself over to the benches designated for the parents and other visitors, perching herself on the very edge. She had nothing for company but Madame's words and the glee on her daughter's face as she witnessed what it was like to love dance through the ballerinas that flew around the studio.

...

"Who ordered the large mango and medium strawberry smoothie?" A perky redhead calls, taken aback at the sight of Someina scurrying up to the counter with Kaiko in tow.

"That would be us. Thank you."

"Not a problem. Don't forget your straws. And there's extra napkins if you need some."

Someina nods, grateful that there were so many napkins included with their order. Because their drinks felt freezing cold, and it was a lengthy walk to their table in the back.

The two of them had just left Madame Breia's dance studio (the first class free) and were treating themselves to the town's best smoothies. It would hopefully soften the blow of the conversation they were about to have.

"Mommy! Daisy is having a Cocoa Power party," Kaiko whines, kicking her feet. "And she said I'm not invited."

Cocoa Power was this generation's Power Puff Girls. It was all about triplets gaining superpowers from radioactive chocolate and fighting bad guys - from poachers to bank robbers. So to say that her rival was having a party with that theme was like getting first place in the famous Space Race.

"I thought you wanted it to be a DC theme, with Cat Woman and Black Canary. Wonder Woman and Green Lantern."

"That was before she said she was having a Cocoa Power party." She huffs. "Its not fair. Everyone's gonna go to her party, and no one's gonna come to mine."

"That's not true. Your dad and I will be there."

"That doesn't count," she says, sniffling. "You have to be there because you're my grownups."

Someina gets up and moves her chair around to Kaiko's side, resuming her seat and pulling her into a hug. Not at all expecting to do any cheering up when she seemed to be having the time of her life.

"I was really just joking, Kaiko-cake. But if you want...why not make it a costume party instead. That way, you can dress as anyone you want. Harley Quinn, Hawkgirl, Supergirl..."

She sucks in a breath. "Cocoa Power?"

"If you want."

"Yay! Yay! Yay!" Thank you, mommy!" She squeals, throwing her arms around her relieved mother at a crisis being averted, and hugging her tight.

"Of course, sweetie. Turning six is a pretty big deal."

"What about you?"

Someina cocks an eyebrow, picking up her drink when Kaiko breaks the embrace. "What about me?"

"When you turned six a gazillion billion years ago, did you have a dress-up party?"

She smiles fondly, recalling one of the more fun moments of her childhood.

Her parents were away performing diplomatic duties in their business prior to the ever-expanding Fujioka law practice of today. Meeting with figureheads after a PR firm let a political scandal get away from them, setting off leaders of other countries.

To make a long story short, she only had Caramel and her nanny around for her sixth birthday. But it was show-stopping. The kind children dream of and see in Charlie's Chocolate Factory.

The house had been entirely transformed per their loving nanny. Candy canes lined every entrance and exit, trails of gummy worms in crushed up Oreos, hints of peppermints and melted chocolate. All the things she enjoyed before being diagnosed with juvenile diabetes. It was the last time she could remember having a spectacular birthday instead of just receiving checks in the mail and itchy sweaters that didn't fit.

She missed her nanny like she missed chocolate dreams and candy parties.

"No. But I cherish my sixth birthday, the most. It was my absolute favorite birthday."

"Mommy, what's cherish?"

"Cherish means that you care about something enough to hold onto it and never let it go. You remember that goldfish you won when you were four?"

"Flip-Flop?"

"Yup. You loved that fish and you never wanted to let it go for even a second. You held it like this," Someina says, demonstrating with her two hands clasped together. "You held onto Flip-Flop for dear life until she had to take that vacation. That's what cherishing is."

"Mommy," Kaiko says firmly, her hand coming down to clap her shoulder. "I'm almost six. I know Flip-Flop didn't really take a vacation to the Balmas. She got flushed down the toilet because she died."

Someina's forehead creases with sadness, her hand resting over her daughter's. "I'm sorry for that. I should have paid attention and checked to see where you put her. That was mommy's fault."

"No, its okay." She shrugs, casting heartfelt dark eyes on her mother. "You cherish things. Right?"

"Right..."

"I love Flip-Flop and I cherish her, so even if I miss her...I think she will be ok. Because I cherish her."

Her words break through a layer of Someina's regret, making her smile reach her bright blue eyes.

"I love you so much, Kaiko." She tugs her back into her arms, hugging her even tighter. "You're such a smart, sweet girl."

"Mommy, you're not supposed to squeeze me. I don't want to go on vacation to the Balmas."

Someina throws her head back in laughter. Whether it was twisted or sane, it didn't matter in that moment. Because it felt wonderful.

...

_One day and mental breakdown later..._

"I don't get this," Someina groans, flipping through chart after chart of an anonymous patient she was being trained on. "They're clearly exhibiting signs of a mood disorder with depressive symptoms, but no chemical imbalances are showing up on the scans."

She looks through it all one more time before shutting it and sliding from the chair to the floor in defeat. Laying out like a flattened banana peel.

Why did she think she could ever become a psychologist? There were so many nuances and minute details, she could misdiagnose anyone. Thankfully this then 18-year old male had already been examined and the condition was just being withheld until she deduced it on her own.

"Hey, Som," Haru says, cocking his head to the side when she throws her arm over her eyes. "You having a bad day?"

She expels a long breath, still refusing to remove her arm. "I got homework the first day; observing Kaiko and writing an essay, studying a past client to diagnose them, and I have to answer his question."

"Which is...?"

"Why I want to be a Psychologist. Truth is, I don't know." She lifts her arm at last, letting it fall limply at her side. "But if I didn't want it, I wouldn't subject myself to this laborious task. Or go to school for it as long as I did."

She pauses, looking him up and down as a thought came to her.

"How did you know?"

He smirked. "When you know you know. It was love at first sight. The moment I laid eyes on an engine, I knew engineering was the one for me."

"Haha. Very funny."

"That's why I said it. But really...Even though I'm joking, I'm also serious." He plops down beside her, his hand coming up to rub her back in soothing motions. "Its a heavy question that could stump any person. Experienced or not. Its worth thinking over instead of pandering with an answer that doesn't even resonate with you, let alone your mentor. But in the meantime..." he nods towards her Xbox. "Want to shred on some Guitar Hero and take your mind off things?"

_Old school, huh?_

She looks at him. And he looks right back. Heart jumping in her chest like a jack rabbit, she tries not to spring up at his suggestion. "Yes." She reluctantly leaves his touch to stand, picking up one of the colorful instruments paired with the game. "Are you offering me escapism?"

He stood as well, grabbing ahold of the red flannel tied around her waist. Her eyes flick up to his, he daringly staring into them as he pulls he sleeves tight. "What else would I give you?"

She stiffens, in limbo of what she was afraid of and what she wanted. "Compliments...lots and lots of compliments. Until my ego inflates like a balloon."

He smiles, dreadfully having to release her to bypass the main menu. "I thought you didn't like me flattering you like that?"

"Yeah maybe. Or it could all just boil down to the fact you caught me off guard."

He looks at her like she's a chocolate chip cookie and he found out she's melting under the heat in his eyes. He gently lifts her guitar up and slides the strap over her body, standing so that her back is to him.

"How's this?" He asks, lips dangerously close to her ear. "Is this too tight?"

"I like it tight. I mean, you like it tight...ugh!" She pulls back a little. "I'm not this incompetent all the time. I promise."

He laughs, his thumb just brushing the skin above her waistband. "Most of us can't control ourselves around beautiful people.

"So, about Guitar Hero," she changes subjects, taking over to select her go-to song (The Pretender, by Foo Fighters). "Which seems like the best one to you? There's Live, Rockband..."

"I like the one with rock music in it."

She shoots him a mock dirty look, hoping she's more intimidating than she feels. "You got jokes Hatsuharu?"

"I like it when you call me that," he says, pointing. "Hatsuharu. I mean, hot is in my name..."

"Sure. If you can't spell to save your life."

He clicks his tongue. "Where is the lie?"

She tries to pull her eyes away as he bends to pick up the mini drum kit. "Even though there are a handful, I do wish there was a lot more Van Halen. 'Dreams' has to be my absolute favorite song of theirs."

"Really?" He looks up at her, fascination in his eyes. " _You_ like rock? Hard or classic?"

"Both," she retorts, poking her tongue out at him. "Believe it or not, my mother actually owned her fair share of fender strats and rock records. A 1963 Starburst, a Blonde 1966...She had a wall full of electrics and a collection of vinyl before she met my father."

Someina didn't believe it herself until the day she showed up outside her door to tell her she wanted to quit ballet, and overheard her playing her own rendition of "Dreams" as she stared out at the sunny skies. Someina listened to every riff and soaked it up like the last sweet droplets of champagne, because it was the last taste she'd ever get.

Her mother shut it away in a guitar case, carried it up to the attic, and she never heard from it again.

"I always thought Fallout Boy, Aerosmith, and The Police had the best music. But Hinder has one song that really reminds me of you."

"Really?" She perks up at this. "Which one?"

"Lips of An- oh! Its starting." He tips his head toward the screen, abuzz with an audience. "Let's see what you got, Som."

She takes a stance like the living room really opened up to a massive stage, filled with countless, faceless judgements being made all around her. Her heart pounds in her ears as the familiar sound echoes that of ballet recitals and family dinners and pageants. The music floating in and out of her subconscious as she numbly pressed the buttons where the frets would be.

"Som...Som...Someina!" Haru calls, saving her from the hands of fear that threatened to take her down with them. "Remember, this is just a game. You're supposed to have fun. Don't think about whatever's suffocating you."

She looks down, numbly at the controller in her hands. Reminded of the night she snuck into the attic to look at one of her mother's guitars. Studying the way its strings dug into her fingers without pain. Thinking about the weight of the body, looking through her boxes of picks, running her fingers over the capo.

"Let's start over," he offers, pressing start to go back from the beginning. "Look, we're even doing Pretender."

He nods at the song cued up, beginning to wake up her and focus on having a good time. "You're right. I just forgot where I was for a moment."

He smiles encouragingly. "Everyone does."

By the fifth song, 'Dream On', they find themselves neck and neck in points. Both of them laughing and smiling and even singing along.

They both look at each other at the same time, the song slowing to nothing. His lethal stare never as dark and sexy as it was when he was taking her in. Haru makes sweet torture of walking towards her, his eyes pointedly never straying from hers though her body begged his attention in other places. Two components charged to make her heart combust.

He's the first to bridge the distance, quickly removing the guitar from around her frame to pull her against his waist.

"Don't overthink it," he says softly, tugging her hands towards his hips. His expression soft when she twirls the hem of his shirt to keep her hands from venturing elsewhere. "Remember when we jumped in the puddle together?"

She bobs her head, knotting his shirt with her fingers. "You took me out of my head and gave me the most fun I've had in years." She smiles and he groans to himself, causing her to whip her head up in concern.

"Your smile..." he trails off, tilting his head to brush his lips over her cheek, to her ear. "It makes me want to kiss you."

"My smile does?" She dares repeat, her breaths shallower when his lips touch a sensitive spot on the underside of her jaw.

She makes a noise of approval when his hand comes up to cup her face, his eyes hazy with want as they trace the path his mouth took. And its enough to break off more of the part Haru advised her to unleash.

She backs up against the counter, moving her hands down until they land on his backside and pulls him toward her in one swift movement.

They both breathe out in unison, as if being fused together like this was the climax to a night together. Her head falling back as more memories rush back in the reunion of their hips.

"Som," he grits out, burying his face in her neck. "You feel too good to be just a memory. This has to be real." He glances up at her, looking for clues as to whether he just dreamt up this whole moment. "Right?"

She captures his cheeks in both hands, bringing their lips together in a fleeting moment that makes him sigh.

Either it had been too long for him, or she never stopped turning him into a panting, mess of desire in the smallest of sensations.

So it was no surprise that they were too caught up to pay attention, her leg getting hooked on one of the cords that sends them both to the plush bean bags that decorate the room's center.

Their bodies pressing together as he lands between her legs, his hands propping him up just so their noses barely touch.

Her breathing thins out as his thumb hooks into one of her body chains, gliding underneath until they swept over her bare skin. Chills racing down her back and arms.

"I can talk to anyone else, and its just that. Talking. Talking never feels as good as it does right now. And we're not even naked."

"Oh," she groans, a shudder rippling through her. "This can't be happening. We're not really talking about this."

He takes her hands in his, running his fingers over her palms as his forehead drops to hers. Their eyes locked in silent words while their loud heartbeats did the talking. She looks down, and it isn't until she does that she realizes how hot the room feels and the mystery of how his belt came undone.

"Did I-" she can't even bring herself to finish her sentence. Haru glances down to see what she's talking about, moving to zip up his pants and fix his spiked belt.

"Don't worry about it," he says, clearing his throat when he hears the husky quality it took on without his permission. Not ready to see how she'd react when she discovers he unbuttoned her top in the heat of the moment. "Like I said, its hard to think straight when I'm around you."

"You said it was hard to act normal around beautiful people."

He smirks, beginning to lightly drag teeth over her neck to make her breathing quicken. "Same thing," he teases.

She clenches one part of the red beanbag in her hand, her legs wanting to wrap around his hips to invite him back as his lips brush her collarbone. Drifting lower still until he's planting open mouth kisses over her chest and down her stomach.

"How did we get here?" She breathes, so enamored that her eyes cross. His eyes dark and heavy as they stared at her lips. "How did I end up on your beanbag chair?"

"I could ask myself that question. Or..." he dives in to capture her lips with reckless abandon. His tongue parting her lips as she desperately pulls him in. Breaths growing heavy as they mingled and tangled together. He withdraws just enough to breathe, greedy for far more than oxygen would allow. "Or, I could be using my mouth for better things."

She slings one leg over the back of his, rolling them over so that she sat atop his hips, palms running down his chest.

"I want that."

"Better things? Alright."

"No," she says, slapping him on the arm as he breaks into laughter. "I want you to kiss me. But-"

"-Hold that thought," he cuts short, sitting up so that she slid to his lap. She was puzzled as to why he was scooping her up and whisking her off to his bedroom. Shutting the door behind them even though Kaiko wasn't expected back for another thirty minutes.

She lands on his bed with a bounce, no time wasted before he lands right beside her. Sitting up on his elbow so he didn't miss a single opportunity to look at her. Because so many years of not having that privilege, he refused to take it for granted. His room just felt smaller and private and intimate. And he wanted to let her know how much he trusted her by bringing her into his room and making it a point of her staying. She takes hand delicately between hers, he allowing her to play with his fingers.

"You were saying?"

She slumps, sighing. "As much as I want you to keep kissing me. Its a bad idea."

"Says who?"

She half-shrugs. "Me...it would be bad for Kaiko if something happened between us."

"Uh, Som...hate to be the one to tell you this, but...something already did happen between us."

She snorts. "Whatever, Haru. You know I'm not referring to five years ago."

"I know..." he trails off, fixing his eyes on her rose colored nails. "But what's complex about us making out or you being in my bed? I like you being here. Too much, maybe. But I do."

"Because..." she ducks her head a little, feeling like it really was five years ago. "I never stopped having feelings for you. And I don't want Kaiko caught in the middle if something went wrong. Because if you broke my heart, I don't know how we'd both be there for her."

He brings their joined hands against his quickening heart, looking at her with earnest eyes. "Som...if I ever broke your heart, I'd break. I'd be ruined before I'd ever ruin you." He kisses the back of her hand, the tips of her fingers. "I want you to the point I'm losing my mind. Its dumb, but when I work on cars, I think about yours. Or when we eat dinner together, it makes me want to just kiss you in the middle of everything without it being a big deal. And sometimes..." he clears his throat, taking pause. "Sometimes, I want you in ways that will make you blush. Which is kind of funny because a lot of things seem to. But I know you might still need time to figure out where you're at just like I do."

The air holds between them as she notes the pure understanding and empathy in his eyes. His willingness to wait and let her sort out everything. And it makes her realize what a sweetheart he really is.

She takes his chin in her free hand and plants a long, lingering kiss on his lips, smiling.

"Thank you. You know...we're totally kicking butt at this co-parenting thing. People should do this more often."

"What? A touch and go?"

She shakes her head, laughing. "I'm done with you."

"The ladies are never done with this," he lazily gestures at his body, straight faced as they come.

"Yeah, uh-huh. This lady is so over it."

"Really?"

"Yup," she says with a pop. "I wouldn't care if I never saw it again."

He leans in, causing her lungs to shrink and stop taking in air. His hand slowly tucks her hair behind her ear, thumbing the strands. "Then why do you stare?"

She bites her lower lip, sinking her teeth in more when his eyes flick to hers. "Because there's nothing else on TV."

He laughs, standing to stretch. Arms raised over his head as his shirt inched up. Revealing a trailer to the sequel of Popup Abs Part One. He turns swiftly enough to catch her looking, smirking when she snatches her gaze away.

"Fine. Point taken."

He moves to the bed and presses his hands on either side of her, hunched just so they were face to face.

"You know something, Som? When you look...it turns me on. Because it says to me that even if you forgot what I look like under all this, you're fighting to remember."

He steals another kiss before he starts for the door, unaware that the woman behind him was touching her lips to trace the remains of his kiss. But something stops him in his tracks. A question prompted by his last statement. The main issue of them forgetting the most important things, and what he was still in the dark about. It seemed out of left field for the mood they set. But he had to ask.

"Som..." he pivots, eyes guiltily fixed on the floor. "What was the delivery like?"

She blinks several times, giving her head a shake. "What?"

He sighs, falling back on the bed beside her. His hands coming up to run through his hair as that question begat more questions.

"What was it like when you gave birth without me? Who held your hand?" His voice breaks, drawing his fist to his lips to cover it. "Were you lonely? Who helped you when you got home? Was it safe? How tired were you when she cried in the middle of the night?"

"Why are asking me this?" She asks, her eyes blurring with tears as fresh wounds stung. "What brought this up?"

He watches her wipe every falling tear with the heel of her hand, feeling like the worst person for not being there. For not trying to see her, to find her. For not insisting upon talking after their night in her bed to make sense of it all.

To have not missed five years of their daughter's dear, beautiful life.

"Because...Its the closest I can get." He rolls over onto his side, his heart punching his chest with raw emotion that had been suppressed so long. "I wanted you to walk me through it, so I would be there. Even though...even though I wasn't."

"Haru."

"I know I sound crazy and I know I was supposed to be making you feel better. But, I feel like a liar, Som. I feel like a cheap imitation of a father and a lover and a friend because I'm just trying to act like everything is easy. When it feels like a meltdown in my head whenever I think about these questions."

Someina scoots down so that she lays on his chest, wrapped in his right arm protectively. She, taking a moment to gather her thoughts, and he holding his breath for her reaction.

She snuggles closer, soothed only by how amazing it felt to be held by him again. Greedily drinking it in as much as she dared.

"It was hard being alone, but its not your doing. And before you say anything, there is no doubt in my mind that you would have let me squeeze your hand and make you go deaf if you had been there. And I hate that we spent five years like this. But, you wouldn't have found me. My parents are very good at sweeping things under the rug, and you have nothing to blame yourself for."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing... as for the night Kaiko was born..that's a long story."

"Please?" He cups her cheeks in his hands, at the ready when the next tear falls to catch it. "I want to know, Som. You and Kaiko are my long story. But its one I never get tired of telling."

She gives a watery smile, eyes still shining with sadness. "Okay...On that night, my nerves were off the rails. They told me she breached and that they'd have to turn her. Thankfully, she was delivered naturally, but not without a few complications..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Answer To Last Chapter's Question: My favorite thing about the Holidays (aside from the presents and food) would have to be the Vanilla answer...family. Because it was such a rarity for the seven of us to be in one place together over the course of a decade, on top of extended family...it stands to be the most important and enjoyable aspect of the Holidays. Always.
> 
> Chapter Question: What is one thing you were you raised to uphold that you learned doesn't suit you?


	7. The Calm & The Storm

**Chapter Seven: The Calm & The Storm**

Someina picks up her phone with her free hand, bringing it up to her ear.

Her stomach hums like fireflies in anticipation and weighs like lead. She bites her lip when a voice comes through the other end.

"Som?"

"Hi..."

"Why are you calling? Why not just come in here?"

"Because—" she glances down at the arm cradled around her sleeping little girl, returning her attention to the call, "I just want to talk. And for this, it helps that you won't see my face."

"Okay...what's up, then?"

She expels a jittery breath, all the nerves and anxiety pent up into one exhale.

"I think...I want to try dating. Kind of like a try it before you buy it ordeal."

There's an echo of silence on the other end of the line, only the sounds of the dishwasher filling with water. She wants to smack herself silly and chuck her phone over the balcony for this whole thing. It was late, she was chipping away at her essay and she hadn't cracked open the mock patient file since their game of Guitar Hero. She was exhausted and sort of delirious. Not the ingredients needed to make a patient person.

"Try before you buy?" He repeats, his tone the driest place on Earth. "Its a relationship, Som. Not a free trial for a game."

She snorts, slapping a hand over her mouth to hide it. But she can't help but do it again. "I mean, it could be. That's all up to you, sweetie."

"Are you okay...? You seem different."

"Its punchy, Haru," she supplies, barely managing to stifle another snort. "The word you're looking for is punchy."

In the other room, Haru lays on his back staring up at the ceiling and fiddling with one of the many chains around his neck. His black sheets hang low around his waist as his phone sits on the empty pillow beside him on speaker.

"Hey, Someina," he starts, squeezing his eyes shut. "I promise you this is not a come on...but I really don't..." he swallows, bringing his fist down against his forehead in frustration of what he was about to request. "I'm not used to sleeping alone this long. And I know we aren't currently official or—" he pauses as he hears his voice repeated back to him in its delay, his eyes wide at the sight of a silhouette standing in his doorway. Her flip phone closing shut in the palm of her hand right before she shuts the door behind her.

Haru begins to sit up when she says, "Its okay...I want to."

He begins to protest but finds the words dying on the battlefield of his lips, waving a white flag in truce of all the other things he knew were right to say that he didn't want to say. She lifts the covers from her side—er, the other side of the bed and slips in. Pulling the sheets and the comforter up until it rested snug over her chest as she too stared up at the ceiling. Wondering where she found her boldness batteries so that she could pull off such a thing.

"I'm not Rin and you're not Hatori," she says, matter of factly. "But...I'm glad you're Haru. Because you make me feel like myself. Not little rich, people pleasing Someina." She rolls onto her hip towards him, eyes tracking his movements as he follows her lead. "I think I'm over running away from what I was. Instead, I want to focus what's left of my energy on running to who I actually am. Even though I haven't met her yet." She looks up at him, waiting long enough for him to meet her gaze. "And you...you bring out the best in me. I want more of that."

He nods slowly, having resonated with every word. Well, except the 'her' part. "What would you have me do? We could pull off some daring exploits. Like joining up with the Cirq Du Solei. Or rappelling off a skyscraper."

She shakes her head, falling back against the pillows. "I said you bring out the best in me. Not the death of me."

He laughs, tucking his hands behind his head. "Fine, something a little less fatal...how about you let me take you on my bike?"

Someina shoots up in bed, aghast that he would go so far as to suggest the impossible. Was he trying to scare her off?

"No way! Do you know the statistics of how many motorcycle accidents happen a year? A week?!"

"Som, I've been riding since I was sixteen. I know I can't showboat around a bunch of cars. I only pull out tricks when the road is empty. Plus..." he elbows her in the side, his eyes darker. "Think how hot you'd look straddling one. That's reason enough."

She shakes her head, blushing. "I'd look like a fool. Kind of like how some people look like they're playing dress up when they try to dress older."

"You want to discover yourself, right?"

"Yeah. But—"

"But you have to dare yourself to step out of your comfort zone in order for that to happen." He reaches his hands up to grab his headboard in a stretch. And when the sheet drops low around his waist, she blurts, "Are you wearing anything?"

He pauses for a second, as if having to think about it. "Probably..."

"Probably?!" Someina screeches, clapping a hand over her mouth when she realizes she almost woke Kaiko. "How do you not know?"

He brings his hands back down to the sheets, about to lift it to check when a devious idea pops up. He smirks, turning to face Someina. "Before I tell you, which do you prefer? Boxers, briefs...nothing?"

"Oh my gosh, Haru." She slaps her hands over her eyes as she practically turns purple. "You're asking me a question like this while I'm in your bed?!"

He shrugs. "Seems like there's no better place to ask it. Like, what are _you_ wearing? Or—"

"Goodnight Haru," she rushes out, turning completely away from him and shutting her eyes. He chuckles to himself, rolling over to her side and enfolding his arms around her. His body perfectly lines up with hers as her back meets his chest, and he nuzzles into her hair.

"I was only teasing. But for the record...I'm not wearing anything. Does that bother you?"

Someina pauses in thoughtful silence, sucking in a breath and answering in a soft exhale. "...no..."

He smiles, placing a soft kiss on the back of her ear before his own eyes fall closed.

...

The next morning, Someina gets dressed to take Kaiko to her ballet class when she comes stomping into the bathroom. Casting down her ballet slippers as if throwing down a gauntlet.

"I quit!"

Someina freezes in the middle of pulling up her jeans, having ditched skirts for the afternoon motorcycle ride that Haru had coerced her into. "You quit?"

"Yeah!" Kaiko shouts, folding her arms in a huff. "I suck at it! Everyone says so."

"Hey," she chastises, yanking up her zipper. "Sucks is a bad word, Kaiko. Where did you even learn that?" She shakes her head. "You're giving up because people said you can't?"

She looks away, tapping her foot. "And I want to play soccer instead. Daisy is on a team already and she says its better than stupid ballet."

Why did it feel like an insult that she was putting down ballet? The very sport she felt chipped away at her spirit every time her toes touched the floors.

"Kaiko, at least give it a little time. You can't make rash decisions based off of hearsay and commentary."

"Rash?" She glances at both her arms. "I don't have a rash! I just don't want to dance anymore."

Someina sighs, rarely more amused or frustrated. "Just get dressed, Twinkle Toes. Your father and I are going somewhere after we drop you off."

Her eyes grow comically wide. "Where? Where? The zoo?! Disney? Mcdonalds?!" Her voice reached a new octave at the last one.

Someina laughs, crouching to help lace Kaiko's ballet shoes. "Maybe Mcdonalds afterwards. I've been craving more fries lately, anyway."

"Can I get a Happy Meal?" She pleads, sticking her lip out. " _Please?_ "

She finishes with one shoe, then starts on the other. "Only if you agree to go to class without anymore fuss."

A long silence stretches between them. One that feels just as pouty as before.

"...fine. But I still want to play soccer."

Someina nods. Though for a reason that completely confused her, she felt sad at the prospect of her daughter retiring her ballet shoes early. "If in a month you still haven't changed your mind, we'll look into soccer. Sound good?"

Kaiko grunts, and it takes her aback at how much she sounds like Haru. "Okay..."

...

Haru walks around to the side of his bike, giving the white sheet covering it a sharp tug. Someina gasps, clasping her hands over her mouth. "Is that what I think it is?"

He nods, patting it on the seat. "I had a side car added a week ago in case Kaiko ever wanted to go riding too. You like it?"

"Yeah, actually...but—" she runs a hand over its grooves experimentally, not-so discreetly searching for helmets. "Are you sure this is safe? She's not even old enough to sit in the front seat."

He scratches the back of his neck, looking everywhere but at her. "I didn't really think about it, but I can look it up." He tosses the sheet aside before swinging one leg over the seat of his bike. "Besides, I have you all to myself right now. And I think you might just be stalling from hopping on yourself."

She gasps again, indignant. "I so was not!"

He smirks. "Prove it to me, sweetheart."

She jerks back at the out-of-the-blue pet name, frowning when she sees that's the reaction he wanted. She decides to just brush it off and gently nudges him until he moves for them to trade places. Because of her shorter legs, she hops once, twice before he hoists her up and she mounts the cushiony seat. It seemed perfect for long rides, like road trips across the country.

"Ok, what's next?" She blows a strand of hair out of her baby blues. "Do I twist the handles to rev the engine? And do I say 'listen to that tiger growl' when it happens, or 'listen to that kitty purr'?"

He shakes his head in amusement, pointing near her feet. "First, you remove the kickstand. Like so."  
He flips it up with his boot, catching the bike as it leans with Someina's weight and she flails at the sudden movement.

"You could have warned me you know?"

"Aww, but its a lot more fun my way." His smile grows as she scowls at him, though she's thankful he's keeping her from crashing to the asphalt. "Next thing you're gonna want to learn is balancing. Before you start the engine, you have to figure out how to keep yourself from tipping over. Think of it as a heavier, gas powered bicycle."

Her pout deepens in a way that did Kaiko proud. "I can't believe I'm saying this...but I was looking forward to getting out on the road." She shifts her gaze to where his hands still support the bike, acutely aware of the difference it made. "Learning to balance could take me an hour. Then actually integrating it and driving could be all day. Maybe even all week."

He hums in thought. "I doubt that, you're quick to get things." He considers it for a moment, reaching a compromise. "Tell you what. You let me help you with finding your balance, and I'll take you out there myself. You can hang out behind me for today. And maybe when you're ready...you'll be the one taking the lead."

She bites her lip, nodding in agreement, making him move one hand closer to her hip as if prepared to hold her instead.

"Alright, I'm going to take one hand away, and I want you to try leveling on your own. I'll be right here if you can't do it, but I think you can."

"But—"

"Imagine you're dancing, having to balance on one toe." This arrests her attention, causing her to straighten. "What would you do to keep from falling over?"

She's quick to take his words into consideration, visualizing her equilibrium and the delicate thin line between En Pointe' and falling flat. She fluidly redistributes her weight just as Haru lets go, holding up the bike and opening her eyes as she does.

"See, I told you it was like riding a bike." He laughs. "I guess I might as well squeeze in one more lesson before we switch again."

She swallows audibly, like she was knocking back boulders.. "Which is?"

"It...is..." he drags it out for dramatic effect, before leaning over and turning the key in the ignition. Making the engine turn over and come alive with the putter of a beast arousing from slumber.

"Starting the bike."

"Haru!"

...

Haru steers them into the emptying parking lot, the setting sun casting an orange glow over them as he brings them to a stop. Someina's arms remain fiercely wrapped around his torso, though she shudders with the motorcycle high.

He turns just enough to remove her helmet, watching as she shakes out her windblown hair like a model at a shoot. Her delighted, blissful smile and bright cheeks made his heart trip inside him.

"That was amazing."

"You are."

Her brows furrow, canting her head. "I was talking about the ride."

"I know."

She smiles even brighter at him, swooping to the ground and landing gracefully. She checks over her shoulder to see the gas station's store was still open for business, before facing him again.

"I'm going to run inside and grab a bottle of water. You want anything?"

"Nah, I'm just gonna fill up."

"Okay." She stares back at him, lost in her thoughts for a moment before she shakes her head to clear it. Walking backwards so that she still saw him, she says, "Thanks."

He can't help but return her grin. "Of course."

As soon as he's sure she can no longer hear him, he turns away to dial a number. Tapping his thumb impatiently against the gas pump as he waited for the dreaded answer.

"Yeah, what?" Groused the younger boy on the other end.

Haru leans his back against the column, folding one arm across his chest. "How's reno going? Give me an estimate."

Hiro scoffs. "How the heck should I know? One week, I guess. Whatever."

If they'd be finished that early, he could surprise Kaiko and Someina with the new room even sooner than he thought. He couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness at the fact Som wouldn't have an excuse to stay with him much longer.

Instead, he says," Cool. Thanks."

"Whatever."

With that, he abruptly hangs up and Someina comes bounding out of the store. Untouchable with the joy radiating from her entire body. And just like that, its like his own comes leaping out at the sight of it.

"Hey, you ready to go?"

"Yeah...about that..."

He hadn't realized the phone call had taken up _that_ much time. Now how was he gonna explain that?

He rubs the back of his neck, searching the far reaches of his brain for the best excuse. "I...was...distracted?"

He closes his eyes, disappointed at his _own_ lame response.

 **Yeah, that won't be obvious at all** , Black Haru mutters.

Someina just giggles, planting a hand on her hip. "You zone out way too much, Haru. I guess I'll just wait until you're done."

He nods silently, not wanting to push it any more than that.

This was the first time in his life he was thankful for his attention deficit.

...

"I'll take two Big Macs, two large fries, a large Dr Pepper..."

"And a Happy Meal!" Kaiko chimes in after Haru, bouncing in her tutu.

He tips his head at the checkout girl, amending his order. "Make that a meal and add on a Happy Meal, please. With apple slices, caramel dipping sauce, and a chocolate milk." He glances over his shoulder to see Someina just coming out of the bathroom, juggling with her feminine care kit and her purse.

"Sorry about that...did you already order?"

"Yeah, we're just about to ring up. What do you want to get?"

She slings her strap over her shoulder, turning him down. "I'll make mine separate. I still owe you from the ice cream parlor." She steps up to the counter beside him, watching as their receipt prints. "Oh! Kaiko, you wanted a Happy Meal didn't you?"

"Already taken care of," he says, waving the printout in the hand not holding his empty paper cup. "And you don't owe me anything for the popsicles or the bowl. It was my treat."

Before she can argue her point, he herds Kaiko off to the soda fountains. And the lady at the register impatiently clears her throat.

"You gonna order some time today? Or are you gonna keep gabbing with your little boy toy?" She flicks her hand at the irritated faces burning holes into her head from behind her. "You're not my first customers today, and you're definitely not the last. Whaddya want?"

Someina stumbles over her order, sheepish at having done exactly what made work impossible when she still faced the daily cafe' grind last year. People holding up lines, distracted by their phones, screeching babies...it was definitely up there with the worst things about customer service.

"A large fry will be all...thank you."

She rips the receipt off, practically shoving it in Someina's direction. "Wait until your number is called. The fries are being finished up right now."

...

A few minutes after everyone's seated, Haru busies himself with fishing out his two sandwiches as Kaiko wastes no time going for her toy like a heat seeking missile in a ballet leotard. Someina eats one fry at a time, closing her eyes and savoring her favorite salty pleasure as if it were the first time all over again.

"Som...please don't tell me..."

Her eyes widen at his leery tone, terrified of what he could possibly say.

Was there something in her teeth?

Did she have pit stains?

What?!

"You...only ordered _fries_?" He shakes his head, shoving his extra burger in her direction. "Nope. We need to fix that immediately."

"Haru..."

He only grunts for an answer, pushing it even closer to her.

But as time went by...she was beginning to learn what each one meant.

There were the grunts of amusement, the ones of disappointment, and the ones like this. The ones that promised he wouldn't budge from this spot until she left here having eaten the _entire_ thing.

She gulps, nervous that it wouldn't taste as good as it did the last time she had it.

"I haven't had a burger since I was thirteen, Haru. Thirteen." She folds her hands in her lap, lowering her gaze. "What if it only tasted amazing because I was thirteen and my tastebuds were desperate for junk food? What if—"

"You haven't had one in a decade?" He repeats, the most shocked she'd seen him since finding out that yes...he really _was_ the father. "Someina, you _need_ to eat this. Do you want me to feed it to you? You know I'm not ashamed to do anything."

"No! I'm good, thank you." She quickly picks up the sandwich, cringing at the way the sauce spills over onto her hands. "See, I'm going to eat it...just, you watch me."

She opens her mouth, closing her eyes and hoping she wouldn't miss. But also bracing herself for how greasy and juicy and...and...delicious it was! She blinks rapidly, chewing as if finding philosophy in how it tasted so good. Though the presentation was sloppy and it was cheaper than the caviar and gourmet that was supposed to be better...

It was actually _lacking_ when compared to this.

"Wow...its—"

"Shhh." He puts a finger to his lips, shaking his head. "You haven't truly lived until you've licked the sauce off. Try it."

Her burger splats back into its cardboard box, gaping at the mere suggestion of such public indecency. "I-I-I-" she frantically searches the table for stray napkins, groaning when she finds none. "That's disgusting!"

"Nah," he counters, licking his thumb and humming in satisfaction. "Its the experience. I promise, you'll be 'living on the edge' and you'll love it."

"But—"

He grunts again.

She sighs, reluctantly inspecting the sauce that coated her hands. "I'm prepared to make you a deal. If I do this...can I wash my hands immediately afterwards?"

He shakes his head, smiling. "I wouldn't expect anything less from you."

At that, she winces. She felt like such a priss with that being the expectation for her conduct. She wanted better, didn't she? Then better she would have! And she wouldn't even wash her hands until they left!

She squeezes her eyes shut, quickly sweeping tongue over her finger in anticipation of hating it.

But as she reopened her eyes, she realized that—

It wasn't that bad.

It wasn't bad at all.

She gives her other fingers a curious lick, humming to herself. Then again.

"Oh no," Haru says, clutching his chest. "Look what I've done. I can't imagine how you'd be with cheese puffs."

"Cheese puffs?" She tilts her head to the side. "Cheese comes in balls, now? Or do they make cheese scented cotton balls?"

He and Kaiko exchange a look, both sharing in equal disappointment.

"You have so much to learn, Som. So much to learn."

...

_Later That Night_

"Haru," Someina whines, being made to walk forwards with his hands on her shoulders. "When can I take this blindfold off? I feel claustrophobic."

"Relax." He undoes the knot, brandishing his hand towards a dimly lit backroom filled with wardrobe racks and makeup scattered all over. "I can promise you that they'll treat you well."

"Wha—they?" She jumps at the sight of a woman swiveling around in a stylist chair, her thumbs dashing across her phone screen. What was most terrifying about her was how decked out in piercings and face tats she was. Everything from her eyebrows to her cheeks to her chin to her tongue. Her lips, teeth, and nose weren't forgotten either. She had this whole punk thing going for her, all purple spiky hair and cuffs with spikes, matched with a black tank layered over a camisole and a red plaid skirt.

As she swings her legs over and stands to her full 5'9', Someina takes in the sight of fishnet gloves, black stockings, and intimidating combat boots that make her duck behind Haru, peeking out over his shoulder.

"Its alright, Som. This is Candy. She's here to give you the hookup before the concert starts."

"C-concert?" She darts her head around, finding the only way out to be the way they came in. "What concert?"

"Smart move, kid. If you're ever subpoenaed, plausible deniability will be your best friend." Candy taps her chest. "Take it from me, I've crashed my fair share of weddings. A concert should be a cinch so long as you blend in. Not to mention you get a few drinks and a few flings out of it."

"One moment please," she says, dragging Haru aside until they were out of earshot and Candy resumed texting. "Haru," she whisper-shouts. "I agreed to ride your motorcycle, not earn jail-time."

He shrugs. "Its not as bad as it sounds. Besides, I don't think they'll be heavy handed with punishment since you're a first-timer...probably."

She runs a hand over her face, sighing. "What is this about? We're in...some kind of...makeup room? At a concert?" She folds her arms, shifting from foot to foot. "Who's playing?"

"Sheath."

"Shut up!" Someina sucks in a massive breath, like the world's girliest, shrillest vacuum. "How did you know they were my favorite band? Its impossible to get tickets to their reunion tour!"

"I know," he says, smirking. "Why do you think we're sneaking in? And, I heard you playing it the other day on the old record player. I figured it was a safe bet."

She pauses, at war with logic, reason, and her inner fan-girl.

"...I still think this _definitely_ qualifies as a stupid decision."

"Write it off as being young and foolish," Candy chimes in, startling her at how she can hear them across the room.

"You should listen to her," he says, sliding his arm around her waist and leading her back over. "To get in, you need to look the part. While Candy helps you with that..." he shrugs again, jamming his hands into his pockets. "Maybe you can teach me about this band?"

"What? You've never listened to Sheath?!" Candy and Someina trade places, allowing for her to break out hairspray, bobby pins, and a teasing comb. "Are you sure we should be together?"

He holds his hands up. "Careful with the teasing. I might think you're serious."

Her expression softens, extending her hand to him as Candy starts teasing her hair, which he easily takes. "Okay. I can only download the basics into you because there's only so much time. Blade is the lead singer, Handle is the drummer, Stab is the bassist, and Parry is on keys. They have five albums, three EPs, and they sing mostly on breakups and painful memories of their lives."

"No love songs? Ballads?"

She pauses, thoughtful. "No, actually. They're pretty anti-romance in their music. But I think I prefer it this way."

She shuts her eyes as hair spray fills the room, squeezing his hand tighter.

"Why's that?"

"Because they stand out and go against the grain in doing that. I love the fact that their lyrics are just as heavy as their music." Pink dots her cheeks. "They come out with great headbangers."

"Miss Pretty in Pink headbanging? This I have to see," he teases, brushing his lips over her nose. "Is she almost done? I'm ready to get out there."

"Slow down there, Casanova," Candy says, pointing a fan brush at him. "I haven't started on makeup and clothes. Trust me...you're gonna thank me later."

...

As Haru and Someina step out into the main area where the crowd moshes, beer and soda sloshes left and right. Women are hoisted onto the shoulders of grungy guys with long hair, sticking their tongues out and shoving their way to the front.

Talk about a culture shock.

Someina loops her arm through Haru's once again, ducking when a red solo cup comes hurtling in their direction.

"You think they have to sign a waiver to be here?"

Haru nods. "Either that or suffer liability. I'll never forget the night Yuki literally read me my rights on that one..." he shudders. "Sometimes it still keeps me awake."

She self-consciously tucks her hair behind her ear, though she remembers the excess of clip ons Candy gave her and she quickly covers it back up.

"Do I...look okay? I feel like a poser."

He offers her a reassuring smile that not only wipes out her nerves, but says 'Are you crazy? Have you seen you?'

She already had the highlights that helped her fit in among the concertgoers. But with Candy's help, she wore a black dress with tears in strategic places and a double slit that zipped up both sides, ripped stockings, and boots. A chain hung around her hips and her hair was teased like she stepped out of the 80s, in a contrast of the 90s grunge makeup—a smoky eye and dark lip to finish it off.

"I was going to ask why Candy didn't give you a makeover, but I forgot you blend in with these people everyday."

His eyebrow lifts, a smile tugging at his lips. "Are you trying to take a dig at me?"

She shrugs, moving her gaze to the stage. "You make it too easy."

"'Ello Tokyo! Are you ready to blow the roof off this place?" Screams Blade into the mic, causing an uproar that rivals the deafening cries of before. Someina would choose to ignore the fact this was outdoors so there was no roof.

"We're gonna kick off with our first single, from back in 2003. This is _Nerds For Nerds_."

"I love this song!" Someina shouts, grabbing Haru's arm and jumping up and down. "I listened to this all the time before going to high school football games."

"You were that kind of girl, huh?" He nudges her, yelling over the earsplitting noise of guitars blaring through the crowd. "I bet you went to every pep rally and wore our school colors any chance you got."

She smiles. "Organized them, actually. I was class prez for a few years before we met. Then..." she closes her eyes, giving in to the intoxicating sway of nostalgia. "We met in Psych 2."

His expression grows heavy with remembrance, moving his gaze back to the band. Allowing their magnetizing stage presence to distract from the stab of pain he felt.

"Alright, for this dance break," Blade bellows, gesturing to the audience. "We need one hottie to join us on stage for the breakdown. Get up here and dance like nobody's watching."

Haru and Someina exchange a glance, and in their shared gaze is a full conversation.

'Go up there.'

'What?! No. Are you insane?'

'You want to be a better version of yourself. In order to do that, you need to one up yourself each time.'

'Haru...'

'I don't want you going home with regret. This is their last tour. Do you want to come away with a story of what almost was...or what you did?'

Someina nods, forcing herself to stand up taller. With a reformed resolve, she shoves her way to the front as women left and right jostled her to and fro. The sounds and the smells a chaotic, overwhelming mix that was so overtly consuming that she jumped at the feel of a hand yanking her up on stage. Her ears blasted with the volume of the amp up close and the screams of the craziest fans in the front.

"Hey gorgeous," Blade says, his Australian accent that much more swoon worthy with his hand on her shoulder. "We saw you fighting your way to the front. You got some moves?"

She shakes her hand, as if to say so-so. "A little...I guess."

"That's good enough." He nods his head at Handle, who twirls his drumsticks to say signal received. "Hit it, 'andle. Drop this beauty queen a rhythm she can dance to."

He starts out a beat that's mid-tempo, answered back in the crowd's thunder of stomps and claps.

She wraps her arms around herself, closing her eyes to get a feel for the music beneath her feet. Her body already moving along to it in its addiction to matching sound with fluid actions. The guitar kicks in with the cry of a riff that melts in her ears like cotton candy at a fair, with the same level of commotion.

Without room for thinking, she lifts her leg up as high as her head, stretching her arms forward though her eyes remain closed. The screams of the guitar and the pulse of the drums dynamic. Encouraging her dance...her body's song.

She easily slips into the next move, raising her arms above her head and twirling on her toe as if at the crescendo of Tchaikovsky instead of a rock song's bridge. She leans into leaps as the licks of the guitar cheer her on, flying into ballet movements she didn't know she still remembered.

At the last blast of the guitar's electrifying note, she spins at rapid speed and falls back into the crowd. They catch her with waiting arms as she reopens her eyes to twilight sky and glittery stars, screaming her voice hoarse and screaming some more. The rush demanded it. She surfs the crowd until a familiar pair of hands catches her by the waist, bring her back down to her feet and to earth as adrenaline shot through her like currents of lightning.

"I knew you had it in you!" He yells into her ear, though she can still barely hear him over the wailing of the music as they segue into the next song.

She beams the brightest, flinging her arms around his neck and holding him as tight and as close as their bodies would allow.

"Thank you for showing me that I did."

...

A few days later, the high of that night had gradually tapered off.

But the newfound courage she felt radiating through her hadn't.

Someina examines the sturdy card in her hand, having somehow memorized the number after having only looked at it twice. She and her sister weren't always each other's worst enemies. They used to tag team their parents to buy them new clothes and toys and jewelry after they had already bought them something the week before. They were a formidable duo that some might call spoiled geniuses. Now, though...she hesitated to dial her number. Even though reaching out might be dire in case Caramel decides to pack up and leave again like before.

Releasing a sigh of resign, she punches in the number and draws it up to her ear. It takes till the very last ring for it to click and a breathy, feminine voice to crackle on the other end.

"Sweet Tooth Wedding Services, Caramel speaking."

Sweet Tooth? Was that—

It was...of course Caramel would market and promote her business while poking fun at her own name.

"Yeah, its...me..."

"Someina? Oh, crap. I would love to chat with you and everything. But can you, like, hold for one second? I'm on the other line with my client."

"That's fine I gu—"

"Thanks for understanding, hon. Be right back with you." Before she can add anything else, she's met with an old pop song that had been overplayed on the radio as she waits on hold. Honestly, elevator music would have been much better on her ears than the screechy pop diva.

"Mooom, I can't find my princess robe!" Kaiko yells across their home, to which Someina yanks the phone from her ear and whips her head around. She takes in the sight of her frazzled daughter, covered from head to toe in mud. Her cheeks were splattered with brown streaks and her yellow sundress stained as her matching galoshes.

"Kaiko! Were you making mud pies again?"

"Actually..." Haru steps into the room, reluctantly raising his hand. "I'm responsible for that one. We started off with water balloons...next thing I know, we're both slinging mud. Literally."

"Hello? Someina...? Are you there?" Comes her sister's voice from her phone. She'd completely forgotten her in the chaos.

Scrambling, she races to bring the phone back up to her ear. "Yes, yes, I'm here. Wait one second."

"But—"

Someina points at Kaiko. "Get her cleaned up, please. Its no good to keep tracking mud into the house."

"But what about my robe?" She whines.

"I will help you find it after you get a bath."

Haru scoops his daughter up and slings her over his muddy shoulder. "Up and at em," he calls, in a Scottish accent. "We're off to wage war with a sea monster." He dashes toward the bathroom with a giggling Kaiko, and Someina returns her attention to the call.

"Sorry about that. I'm back."

"I can hear that. Was that...Kaiko's dad?"

Someina collapses back onto the bar stool, nodding though she can't see it. "Yeah. It was a mud disaster. Thankfully, the crisis has been averted."

Caramel laughs, and Someina closes her eyes. The sound reminding her of music like it always did when they were little. A bow gliding across violin strings softly and delicately.

"I seem to recall my big sis doing the same. Remember when old man Rioshi got mad because we threw some at his cat."

Someina snorts. "That poor thing. That cat never stood a chance with us around. She yowled at the top of her lungs and jumped over the fence like she had superpowers or something."

"Yeah, man...that was hilarious."

"I know."

Silence cuts in as it always did with them, both trying to find something to say to begin again. That's when Someina remembers what she called for.

"By the way, when can you get a free moment? I thought it would be cool if we could grab some iced coffee together and then go mini golfing."

"An invitation to hangout, huh? Sounds like an offer I can't refuse," she says, imitating a character from the godfather. Someina pictures her scratching her chin, with her own cat Kichi in her lap. "I'm really never available, but for you...I can let you borrow 5-7 pm since the wedding plans have been finalized. For the third time this week."

"That sounds great," Someina replies, forcing an upbeat tone to disguise her nervousness. "Oh, uh...I might be bringing some friends along, if that's alright."

A pause. "That's...fine...I wouldn't happen to know these people or anything, would I? Like from high school or something?"

"N—actually...yeah. I think you know Tohru Honda. She said she was catering a major wedding and since that doesn't happen that often around here-"

"That is the name of my caterer! No way! I'm so there, then. I can kill two birds with one stone. I need to double and triple check she got my memo on the bride's seafood allergies and quiche specifications. Thanks sis, see ya then."

"Caramel—"

Her phone beeps to signify the call ended, so she claps her phone shut as the sound of high pitched laughter and splashing echo from the bathroom.

She knew Caramel wasn't a monster and she didn't bite. Usually. But for some reason, she couldn't shake the feeling that tomorrow would be a mess.

...

Someina grabs a seat between Uo and Hana, covering the back with her red velvet coat. Even though it was nearing Spring, it was seasonably chilly out. But it wasn't forecasted to snow until tomorrow morning, so their mini golf hangout would go off without a hitch.

She begins checking her sugars when Uo pokes her in the side. "Say, when is this sister of yours getting here? She's later than you. And that's saying something."

Hana smiles at this, sipping from her blackberry tea.

"Ha-ha. She texted to let me know she's five minutes out, though I was a little annoyed that she didn't just call considering she's driving."

"Oh my," Tohru says, covering her mouth.

"She promised she was at a red light, but she's always been careless about that sort of thing." Someina checks her reading, seeing that its a little on the low side before putting it away and removing the straw wrapper. "So, how's life going for everybody? I imagine engagements and daycare would have some new developments."

"Before we get into that..." Uo trails off. "Hana has some big dating news." She winks at the thoughtful brunette, sipping her tea instead of spilling it.

"What?" Someina exclaims, choking on her drink. "You have a beau? Who?!"

"Kazuma and I have found that we are kindred spirits." She shrugs, blowing on her tea and making it ripple. "He left handwritten love notes in my mailbox every day for thirty days before he asked me to be his significant other."

"So, wait...you guys get mail at that pub?" Uo asks, earning funny looks from everyone around the table. "What? I'm asking the real questions here."

"Anyway, I'm so happy for you Hana," Someina says, clapping excitedly. "Have you guys decided on a first date or anything?"

"No, we're taking things very slowly. He and I compliment each other because we're both old fashioned, and so he courted me to work our way up to going steady. But there is no rush for souls that were always meant to be knitted together."

"I agree," Tohru chimes in, brighter than a Summer's sun. "Kyo and I didn't start dating for years."

"Oh, we know," teases Uo, waggling her eyebrows. "You guys were annoying with how long it took you. I wanted to shake Kyo and say, 'snap out of it already.'"

"You did do that Uo," Tohru says, canting her head like a confused puppy. "Remember? Then Kyo had to go to the emergency room where he asked me to be his girlfriend."

"Didn't he also propose to you in the ER?" Someina asks.

"Yeah, well...that moron was taking too long. Again." Uo shakes her head. "I sat him down for a conversation with my fists, and next thing ya know- boom! Tohru has that rock on her finger," she says, pointing at her friend's opal stone seated on a sterling silver band.

"I'll admit, your methods are practically foolproof," Someina jokes, stirring her drink.

"Can I quote you on that?"

"Hey Meanie," comes an airy feminine voice, causing everyone to swivel in its direction. "I forgot all about my old nickname for you."

Everyone but Someina gapes, creating an echo of silence as jaws hit the table. She continues to sip her drink quietly, used to these reactions upon people seeing her sister (old and new). She'd always been a knockout and had more promposals than she had fingers. She lacked in the boob department, but she had cake that kept boys coming back for seconds. Especially with the way she dressed to emphasize it.

"So, you must be the rag tag crew I know zero about," Caramel says, hand patting her luxury bag. "Except..." she points in Tohru's direction. "You...my caterer and I finally meet in person."

Tohru shakes out of her stupor. "You're the brilliant mind behind the event of the season? I heard you're a legend among the wedding planning community!"

"I would say 'in the flesh', but I always found that word distasteful." She looks around the close-knit cafe, taking in the stares, whispers, and whirs of coffee machines. "This is just the meet up spot, right? We're not _actually_ getting coffee from...this place?"

"So what if we are?" Uo asks. "You don't like it?"

"How do I put this delicately...?" Caramel flips her hair, frowning. "This is what one would consider slumming. Maybe to you its the Tiffany's of cafes. But once you go European, you can never go back."

"I wish you'd go back," Uo mutters, causing Someina to laugh under her breath.

"What would you suggest?" Hana asks, slowly turning her head until it looked as if her deep purple eyes would drown Caramel as she stared.

She shudders, folding her arms protectively over her silvery dress. "Can you not give me the creeps so I can think? No offense."

"None taken," she says, smiling. "It was on purpose."

"None of us are anywhere near your tax bracket, Cara," Someina cuts in, grabbing her coat and tucking it under her arm as she stands. "Since we can't afford to blow a ton of yen on another cup, let's just head out to mini golf." She looks at the rest of the group. "You guys still in?"

Uo grumbles, but begrudgingly stands. Hana takes her time cleaning up behind her while Tohru bounces around like a jackrabbit, excited to be in the presence of an Asian-European icon.

"Oh wow," Caramel coos, fingering the strands of Someina's recently dyed hair. "How did I not notice? This is such a bold move for you..." she claps a hand over her chest. "I'm so proud."

Someina smiles, unused to hearing a compliment from her in recent years. "Thanks."

"I think your next step should be your outfit." She slaps her on the butt, winking. "Try a thong. The lavender granny panties aren't a look, boo."

"I always favored lace," Hana adds. "Its uncomfortable, but it can make a male's mouth water."

Someina's eyes bug out. "Hana! Since when do you-"

"I always say, why not both?" Caramel says. "Lacy thong it is. While I'm still in town, I can take you to Victoria's Secret. We'll start with a few to get you used to it."

"Doesn't it just feel like a wedgie slicing your cheeks in half?" Someina asks, wincing.

Caramel just cackles, placing her hand on the glass door to lead them out the exit.

"You have much to learn about seduction and allure, grasshopper. Pain is sometimes necessary to get to the pleasure."

When Someina breaks out her flip-phone to text her newest babysitter, Caramel draws in a gasp so sharp she could have cut them with it.

"Oh. My. Antique." She fans herself. "You still have that has-been, washed-up phone?" She shakes her head, grabbing her big sister by the hand and wasting no time to hurry into the parking lot. "I'm taking you to get a new phone, and I'm not taking no for an answer."

What was it with everyone in her life trying to change everything?

Some things she understood, and even _liked_.

But this?

This was the one thing she hadn't parted with since she first got it as a teenager. And she was never planning to.

"Prepare to say your goodbyes," Caramel commands, unlocking her Tesla. "We're laying that outdated thing to rest. Today."

Someina looks back over her shoulder, watching as Tohru scrambles to resolve the brewing tension.

"I'm sure she means well."

Yeah, she meant well alright.

But what version of 'well' was it? Someina's or hers?

Caramel may have felt awkward meeting all her friends at once, earlier.

But she definitely wasn't out of her element now.

Before she could even blink, the 'rag-tag' team made a pit stop at the electronics store before hitting the golf course. Completely unsuspecting of the chaos to follow.

...

Someina didn't know what was worse.

How alien having a touchscreen small enough to fit in her purse felt, or how tedious the process of transferring her contacts would be later. The only plus side was the fact it would help her continue in her healing process from her and Hatori's breakup. It wasn't exactly a clean break, but maybe this would help expedite the process. Her new hair and new job was already working wonders, on top of the new lifestyle Haru was slowly introducing her to.

Besides...she needed to move on from anything associated with who she was before and start over in full. And she would always keep her flip-phone tucked away somewhere in her things as a treasured souvenir of her trials and triumphs.

They purchase their clubs at the counter, though Caramel is quick to break out a hand wipe to wipe it down from the handle to the actual putter. Much to the offense of the owner seated nearby with a swimsuit copy of Sports Illustrated.

"This had better be more fun than night bowling," Caramel warns, taking point once again at the beginning of the first course. "I was really hoping to wear my neon shoes."

"Who's to stop you from wearing them now?" Someina asks, watching as Caramel's shot bounces off the windmill and lands directly in the hole. "You never let anyone or anything stop you from doing whatever you please. You just got a hole in one on your first hit! Exhibit A."

She blows on her nails, smiling haughtily. "Mom would always take us out on the course at the country club back in the day. She made us their caddies so we could schmooze, so I picked up a thing or two..." she moves beside me to allow Tohru the next shot, bringing her hand up to whisper, "Butt kissing and golf were crash courses with them."

"A-ha," Someina declares. "So you admit they were kiss-ups out for their own selfish gain."

She yanks the chain around her wrist back and forth, looking away. "I never said they weren't...I just think you got the story backwards about why you left home."

"You'll get it next time, 'Ru," Uo's voice cuts in, ruffling her hair. "Maybe you just got rusty."

Someina doesn't hear the rest though, because her blood heats to a boil. Her frustration neighboring feverish.

"I can't believe you trust them over me." She shakes her head, the kind of angry that just makes your voice lock in at nothing more than a whisper. For fear that it would be decimated by the level of rage and how quickly it came. "I told you what happened. What could I possibly have to gain from lying to you?" She waves her hand around. "Have you seen where I am? How I was living paycheck to paycheck. How many nights I had to juggle studying and childcare. Work and school. Stress and heartbreak and passion and anxiety. With how hard my life has been, why would I willingly leave home to struggle this badly and not come back?"

Caramel narrows her eyes, stepping forward and charging on. "Say they did banish you like we're back in the 1700s and you've lead a hard knock life...why tell me? Are you telling me as a sister and wanting my support? Or is this a ploy to 'get back into their good graces'?"

Un-be-live-able.

"Is that why you invited me here?" She demands, hostility slashing through her tone like a rake. "You're not trying to bond and reconnect are you?"

Someina blows out a breath, not knowing who this imposter was. Because this wasn't the Caramel that asked their parents for help on her behalf when she was she too shy to ask. This wasn't the baby sister she helped get ready for her middle school dance. It couldn't be her favorite hide-and-go-seek partner that she loved to confide her darkest secrets in.

This was someone new. She had gone to Europe Caramel and came back Cara. A stranger that she had just met and already couldn't stand.

"Forget it," Someina grumbles, hanging up her club right back where she got it. "You guys can play for me. I'm not really in the mood, anymore."

"What?" Uo comes jogging up, looking between the two silently quarreling sisters. "What happened? Did she say something to you, Meina?"

Someina almost shakes her head no, but stops herself. Maybe she would get into it with her friends. But today was not that day. Right now, she wanted nothing more than to curl up with hot chocolate, her daughter, and some Disney movies.

"I owe you," she says, feigning a smile. "I'll take a rain check on the golf. Or, maybe we can do something else if you guys want."

"That's fine...but, are you sure you're alright?" She glances over her shoulder to where Caramel drifted when she ran over. Jabbering heatedly to some poor soul who misordered something foreign and expensive.

"Yeah...I guess—" she rubs her arm, looking away. "I'm going home. I need to decompress a bit before I get back on the psych grind."

Uo frowns, throwing her arms around her petite friend. "You work way too hard, Meina. Just say the word and I'll get you the best cot at daycare. I have connections."

Someina laughs, sniffing back tears. "I'll let you know."

...

"Done," Someina cries, leaning back in her desk chair and stretching her arms above her head. She'd been hard at work pounding away at her essay on Kaiko all week from the off suite office area, having taken a break from cracking away at the medical file that taunted her. She reaches across the metal desk for her hot pink stapler, enclosing it around the corner of her five paragraph, single spaced essay. Smiling to herself for task one being completed.

"Now..." she shoves it into a paper protector, slipping it into her bag. "Let's give this one more shot before I call it quits for the night...I'm exhausted." She punctuates this by shaking her head to jolt her right out of drowsy ville, sliding the file over to sit in front of her. The two initials up top, _H.S_. mocking her with a paper clip missing its picture hanging next to it.

She flips it open, novel thick papers spilling out across her desk. She sticks her pen between her teeth as she holds her notes open with one hand, sorting the papers with the other.

Let's see...where was she? Oh yeah. She found no chemical imbalances with correlations to a depressive mood disorder on the patient's scans, though symptoms were present. She didn't see a lack or excess of neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, or norepinephrine. But the patient experienced wide swings of mood that bordered on depression and mania.

She pulls the pen from her teeth and jots that down. She didn't want to throw around a diagnosis without the concrete evidence to rule it out, but it made sense. The person was even prescribed a common medication specifically designed to treat bipolar depression, which lined up with reports of the person feeling even and missing the highs.

There were notes of heightened sexual activity, anger issues and aggression, bouts of euphoria and impulsive behavior. On the opposite end of the spectrum, he entered various stages of insomnia, apathy, disinterest in his daily life, and grew scatterbrained when off his medication. He was a classic textbook case of displaying symptoms of bipolar disorder.

She blows out a breath, leaning back in her seat. "It all makes sense. That's why nothing was showing up, and it explains the lack of response to ECT. He had the depressive symptoms, but there was so much more to it than that." She shakes her head in bewilderment, having finally seen what was right in front of her. "And to think he was only eighteen at the time of his diagnosis...poor guy..."

She continues to record her findings, humming to herself when a voice behind her stops her cold.

"How did you get my file?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How ya like them apples?
> 
> They better not be Granny Smith or you won't catch Haru or Kaiko with them.
> 
> I want to thank all of you guys that still read this story or just found it. I never tire of the favorites, follows, or the reviews. Thank youuuuuuuuu!
> 
> I think I'm done with the chapter questions. Maybe its time I come up with something new...I don't know.


	8. Medication Medley

**Chapter Eight: Medication Medley**

"How did you get my file?"

Dread hangs overhead and sinks its nails into Someina's paling skin as she whips around in her seat, a chill rushing over her at the sight of him. At the quiet explosion of his grim inquiry. Like he knew this moment was a long time coming, but wasn't ready to embrace the fact it showed up earlier than it said it would.

His head lowers, his expression strangled as if the next inhale was too expensive for his body to release. So it sits there and burns a hole in his chest like a cigarette. She breathes enough for the both of them, wondering if she were about to hyperventilate or pass out.

 _Haru_ was the boy she felt sorry for.

It was like she read a diary of his that had 'keep out' all over it, and she'd crossed a line that he hadn't permitted her to cross.

Now, she was stuck rooted to her chair at the scene of the crime, caught red handed and scared of what comes next.

The only word that could even come out was, "W-what?"

He sighs, as if weight was slipping off his shoulders and a new weight was added to its place.

"Is that the same file that was giving you a hard time before we played Guitar Hero?" He laughs to himself, dark and sarcastic. "I was trying to give you escape when I was exactly what you were needing space from." He scrubs a hand over his tousled mane, darkening eyes still pinned to the floor. " _Stupid_. I'm such an idiot."

She shakes her head, jumping to her feet, then sitting back down. Up and down until she was hovering halfway, unsure of what to do with herself. "No. That's not it, Haru. I just..." She scowls to herself, frustrated that she wanted to talk to people about their struggles when she couldn't even voice her sadness for his. How much it hurt to find out that he was asphyxiating on his own thoughts. "...are you okay?"

He shrugs, glum and subdued as the London skies. "Good as I can be considering I didn't want you to find out this way." His eyes move around the room, landing on Warped Tour and autographed movie posters that his dad sometimes sent him. She couldn't tell if it was just because he couldn't face her or...if he was searching for himself in those mementos.

"Are you afraid of me now that you know? If you're planning to run for the hills...I suggest you take a coat. Its still pretty cold outside."

_Was she afraid of him?_

Someina smooths her palms over her sweatpants, staring at the hot pink polish on her nails. She looked from her left pinkie to her right, biding time for introspection when she notices something on her right index. She draws it close to her face, narrowing her eyes at the chipped polish.

Her mother hated less than perfect nails. She needed it to be all on or all off. But its imperfection wasn't the end of the world...To some, it needed to be fixed immediately. Kept out of sight. Some didn't care at all, or purposefully picked at it. But Someina...she waited for it to chip before deciding whether she would paint a fresh coat on top of the other, remove it all, or change the color.

Perfectly smooth, unblemished nails didn't add to who she was as a person.

But chipped nails didn't take away from who she was, either.

Was she afraid of the chip she discovered in Haru? She had never seen the entire break, and she definitely wasn't there when the fault line formed. But if he let her...she would be his.

She would be his friend, holding his hand and letting his rain pour down on her. Even if she came out of it soaked to the bone...she'd withstand it for him. On the days he couldn't bring himself to eat, she would feed him. If he couldn't sleep, she'd lie beside him and listen until he could. If he couldn't smile that day...it would be okay. Because sometimes you don't have it in you to be fine. But she'd be beside him on those days just as much as she would when he's whisking Kaiko off to be the dad she never imagined he could be. All the times he'd surprised her with unapologetic affection and companionship and help that her family failed to provide her.

Was she afraid of the man that he was?

Of the man he could become?

Did she dread his lows?

To be unpolished...and to love someone just as imperfect.

What if she didn't need to have perfect nails or a perfect man? What if there was beauty in flaws and ugly in perfection? She didn't know everything there was to know about bipolar depression. But it was different from person to person, and she would learn whatever it took to make him see that he was more than broken, cluttered pieces.

She huffs, moving to sit on the coffee table in front of him, though he still refuses to look her in the eyes.

" _Haru_..." she cups his cheeks with both hands, the surprise of her actions forcing his gaze back to her. "You don't scare me. You know why...? Because you aren't this condition. You're not your depression...you're not your disorder. You're Hatsuharu Sohma." She smiles shakily, fondly. "You're a man so ready to face parenthood head on even though you're still so new to it, and you didn't have to. You're so thoughtful and supportive that you gave us a place to stay without even expecting rent, no matter how much I insisted.

"You're so good to us and your integrity is admirable. I've complained time and time again about being financially cut off, but you turned away from it to work for your own clean money. And you don't look back. So even though I don't know what sides of you I haven't seen...I do know that I won't run if I see them." She places her hand over his chest, feeling his heart beat in broken rhythm. "That's what makes up Hatsuharu. Not the extremes of emotion that you experience or the number of mood stabilizers you take."

A twinge of a smile touches the faintest corner of his mouth, though its quickly smothered with a frown. His inner voice arguing with the leap of emotion he felt at her words. His hands gently move hers back to her lap, running his own back through his hair. Her words were beyond what he expected...but she didn't get it. Not really.

"That's me when I'm medicated, Som. That's not what my normal is." His leg bounces, his nails digging into his scalp. "You haven't been around the real me very long or you wouldn't be saying that."

"What if the real you is the medicated Haru and the unmedicated Haru? What if they're both you?"

He finally forces himself to face her, flooded with shame and doubt. "I don't want to be two people. I don't want to hit rock bottom to experience sky highs. Whether they're both me or not, I hate them both."

She grabs one of his hands before he makes himself bald, running her fingers between his. "Why?" She traces his hand from his palm to his rings and back again. "I see nothing not to like about you."

He blows out a shuddery breath, his brows furrowed. "I have anger issues when I'm off the meds. But I'm an apathetic pushover when I'm on them." He grips her hand subconsciously, making her pause. "When I'm off them I want to live or I want to die. There's no in between. When I take them, I don't want to do anything. I have to make myself find interests and passions that make me feel even a little something. This..." he brings their joined hands up to his heart, pouring every ounce of pain into his voice. Its weight so heavy that it cracks. "This holds nothingness or it carries danger. I've tried drinking instead of the pills, but it only makes it worse. And I get tired of living with it...its exhausting."

She didn't have any words to offer him at this point. It was something he presently had to live with and she was completely unfamiliar with navigating something this deep. Something he was up to his neck in from the moment he opened his eyes to the moment he closed them at night. And even then, his brain didn't always turn off.

"Honestly, I don't know how to help you," she admits, squeezing his hand. "I want to be there for you in the ways I said...but you need help that goes way beyond me."

"I know."

Something she felt wasn't the time nor the place to ask, was whether or not any mental health conditions ran in his family. Like what he struggled with. Because if it had...she had to make sure Kaiko was going to be okay.

But right now was about him and what he needed. It was about finding footing when she couldn't see the next handhold and was feeling around for it in a dark space.

"You can talk to me about what you're dealing with, and its up to you, but...I really think therapy would be good for the both of us." She brightens at the prospect, finding solace in the beginnings of a solution. "You can be referred out to someone to work with you, but I can also learn more about what I can do to help you. Plus—" she shrugs, a little sheepishly. "I should have been in therapy for myself a long time ago."

They both remain in silence for time that could pass for seconds or hours, unsure of how to bow out of such a grueling conversation. Not really having resolved everything, but at the starting line.

And maybe that's all that needed to be said right now.

What mattered was...they started.

...

Haru sets a brown paper bag onto the kitchen island, rummaging for his hashbrowns and flapjacks before hunting for the rest. He takes out a breakfast sandwich (complete with eggs, bacon, and sausage) and slides it across the counter next to Someina's half finished smoothie as she types away on her laptop. She looks up in surprise, her eyes going back and forth between him and the sandwich. "This is for me?"

He smirks. "Its not for your laptop." A grin stretches across her face, her eyes alight with delight. "Its nothing. I hope its good, I wasn't sure if you could have it because I forgot you were diabetic."

"Its okay, it happens a lot." She puts a hand up to cover the fact she's talking with her mouth full. "This is fine for me and I'll let you know otherwise."

He runs a hand through his hair, exhaling. "Good. Oh, and I didn't remember how you took it, so I had to guess on the coffee."

She swallows her bite, wanting to cry in happiness of how kind he was treating her. A man that buys her food and coffee? If it weren't for their complicated history, she'd marry him on the spot.

He lifts a brown paper cup with a cardboard wrap around it out of the drink carton, setting it down beside her stuff. "I also didn't realize you drink smoothies first thing...we hardly see each other in the mornings, now that I think about it."

She laughs giddily, finishing off her breakfast and taking the coffee. "I start off with one if I'm out of caffeine. You came just in the nick of time." She lifts the lid, inhaling the aroma of the dark liquid. "Is this black with three Splendas?"

He pauses in his pulling out the barstool, trying to think back to his morning excursion.

"Excuse me," he says, being greeted by a bubbly blue haired girl roughly around his age. "Do you know of a girl that used to work here? Fujioka Someina?"

The girl's head tilts in her confusion, though it takes her three seconds to brighten as a lightbulb comes on in her brain. "Ohhhh yeah. She's good people. So what exactly do ya need?" She leans forward on the counter, and even though a normal man would flinch or lean away from how close he was, Haru stands rock steady as always. "Are you trying to get her number? We're not allowed to give out personal information to customers, sorry."

This girl could turn being hyper into a way of life. Did she sample the coffee each time she served it? Or did she hook herself up with a direct line into her veins to keep her alive through her shift?

"I'm actually wondering if you might have known her regular. She and her friends have been coming here for awhile according to her. Is there any way you might have that logged somewhere?"

She gives a shake of her head, folding her arms. "Sadly, no. But I can help you out with a basic order." She perks up almost immediately with this idea, smiling from pierced ear to pierced ear. "She a Sugar Mama or a Bitter Brenda?"

What did that even mean? How sweet she liked it?

"I never really see her go for sweet things, but I don't know about bitter either."

The girl nods like she wants her head to fall off, somehow translating for his absolute confusion. "Peachy keen. You just load up with creamer and back off of the sugar to keep it level. It'll taste sweeter than having it straight, but its mostly coffee she'll taste."

He nods his approval, deciding it couldn't hurt to try. "Thank you."

Back in present time, he almost fumbles his answer as her gorgeous, distracting blue eyes derail his train of thought. "I don't know. I think that's what the girl said."

She bubbles over with laughter, almost choking on her gulp of coffee. "You must have talked to Bridge. She's our best conversationalist on staff solely because she's an energizer bunny morning, noon, and night."

He takes a seat beside her, biting into his cheesy, sausage and egg sandwich.

Huh.

He'd have to thank her some time.

He pops the top off an orange prescription bottle, shaking white, diamond shaped tablets out into his palm. On the way to his mouth, he stops, glancing over at Someina as she stares at him. He hurriedly brings his hand down to hide it under the counter, causing her to jump in realization.

"I'm sorry for staring. I...you can take them in front of me...you know that, right?"

He looks at her, still unsure as to whether he could be comfortable doing so. He could excuse himself to the bathroom. But...it was just his medicine. Medicine was something a lot of people took. And she already knew what they were for. So then...why did it feel like he was about to get dressed in front of her or something like that?

"...okay," he says quietly, throwing them back before chugging some water. He swipes at his mouth and takes another bite of his food, trying to act normal. Trying to pretend that the girl he liked hadn't seen him take medicine for a condition that he had no control over otherwise.

But she beams at him with an intensity so bright he should wear shades. Reaching over to give him a hug. One that wasn't pity or necessarily encouragement. But one that promised that she wasn't afraid of him. That he was okay and this was okay.

She made him feel normal and special at the same time.

"Thank you," he whispers, stealing a quick forehead kiss before breaking the embrace.

Her glow is comforting, lifting up her cup of iced coffee in cheer. "You're welcome."

...

_Some months ago..._

"Hey, thanks for agreeing to bus some tables," Someina's on-shift manager says, slipping an apron over her head. "I know its awful last minute, but she had a family emergency. Something about a string, a doorknob, and a tooth?"

Someina lifts the arm of the bar to duck under it, toting her dishrag. "Its no problem. Being Cinderella for a couple of hours won't be my ruin. Just don't tell my daughter, or she'll be asking about Jaq and Gus-Gus."

Her manager laughs, slapping her on the back. "Your parents have raised a selfless young lady."

Right. Her parents.

Someina wilts, the pep in her step let out like air in a balloon as she lifts a napkin holder to wipe down one of her tables.

It had been one bad boyfriend after the next. None nearly impressive enough to have on her arm if she wanted to show her face around the family she disgraced. She was quickly running out of patience for the men in her life and her bleeding finances.

Maybe...for Kaiko's sake...it was time to go crawling back on her knees, begging them to reverse their decision on her exile.

She moves to wipe down another table when she jumps with a jolt, causing the man she hadn't expected to be there to bump his elbow into his cup of coffee.

Spilling onto what looked like important papers.

"I'm so, so, so sorry," Someina rushes out, her words strung together like tangled headphones. "I'll get you another cup, on the house. It'll come out of my paycheck."

"No, no..." he sighs, uselessly dabbing at his papers with a bunch of napkins. As if that could absorb the mistake and cure the bleeding ink. "I wasn't paying attention and knocked it over."

She bows repeatedly, though he gestures with both hands that she stop. "I'll put a rush on it. What do you like? _Oh_...I hope those papers weren't irreplaceable...do you need cream or sugar?" Her questions come out a disjointed mess, her head practically spinning like a disco ball.

"I just take it black. And fortunately, I have copies in my office. My progress will just have to wait until I return instead of during my lunch break."

She wrings her hands, brows pinching together. "I feel really bad. What will you do in the meantime if you don't have your work?"

He ponders this silently, the eye not hidden behind a tuft of black bangs taking her in for the first time since the coffee catastrophe. Her hair was glossy, blacker than midnight tresses pulled back into a loose bun with strands of it framing her soft features. Eyes icy blue, yet somehow welcoming and warm as the sunsets Kana always tried to get him to appreciate. To slow down and feel the sun on his skin just for the experience of it. Not because he was merely going from building to building and was forced to endure it in those short sprints.

He traced a path with his eyes, down past her subtle curves to the shoes on her feet. Ballet flats with a rip over the toes that dared to pique his curiosity. To fascinate him about a story unspoken from a stranger unacquainted. It was the sight of these flats that made him smile to himself. Even though it practically made the shoes useless in protecting her, the flaw itself was surprisingly...

Endearing.

He pulls out the chair beside him, gesturing with the hand not holding his sticky paper cup. "You can join me until my lunch is over. And then...we'll forget this ever happened."

She puts a hand on her hip, canting her head. "Why would you want that? I'm nothing more than the boring person who spilled your coffee. Why would you not run as far as you could get?"

"That makes you the complete opposite of boring." He stands to his full height, towering over her with his cup in hand and his eye not straying from hers. "I apologize for not having introduced myself sooner. My name is Sohma Hatori. And you are?"

...

_Present day..._

Someina wedges her toes into the bright white sand, wrapping her arms around herself as waves lap against the beach. Every so often, it touches the polish on her nails. Navy blue mixing with mauve. But she's too distracted by the moon's reflection against Haru's body to pay much attention.

He whisks a red checked blanket out of a woven picnic basket, flapping like his black sheets when she'd stumbled into his room that first night they began to stay with him. The scar that stretched the length of his back was obscured beneath a black tee, but it was just as visible in her memory as if she had x-ray vision.

"I brought some dinner rolls, potato salad, steamed vegetables, and some fried chicken," Haru says, setting each plastic container out on the blanket. Condensation drips off the sides of each dish. "I wasn't sure if I should bring a cake or anything..."

She smiles, shaking her head. "I can have some sweets in moderation. Though I hope you don't have potato salad without some coleslaw on the side."

He brandishes it with both hands like its the key to Atlantis. "I wouldn't break your trust like that, Som. I'm just not that kind of guy."

She moves to plop down beside him, popping open the coleslaw first before she started drooling. "If I gain five pounds after this meal, you'll be hearing from my personal trainer."

He rips a piece of chicken with his teeth, chewing curiously. "You have a trainer?"

"No," she says, stabbing her fork into the coleslaw. "And that's the problem."

He snorts at this, pretending to busy himself with his food as his gaze traveled from her dark tresses whipping in the wind to her white dress fluttering over her pale legs. He eats in thoughtful silence, having never noticed the freckles that dotted her knees and calves. They were pretty, he couldn't help but think.

 **She's giving you leg and all you can focus on is her freckles? Have I taught you nothing?** Black Haru clicks his tongue, his voice ever arrogant.

"I was thinking," he talks over his nasty counterpart, setting down an undressed chicken bone. "Since this is our first date and all—"

She sputters, coughing as she chokes on a forkful of her spicy dish. Wasting no time to drink some sparkling cider he'd opened seconds before as tears spring to her eyes. "Date?!"

He clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "Unless...I thought..." he pauses. "Did you change your mind about us...? After—"

"No!" She shouts, startled at the insecurity in his eyes and his hurt tone. "I just didn't know that this _was_ one." She purses her lips, feeling pouty at the thought. "You didn't even ask me out."

His defenses fall again, his expression softer. "You're cute, you know that?"

She dabs at the corner of her mouth with a napkin, before crumbling it in her fist. "Your flattery doesn't move me. Next time, I want a handwritten letter. Or flowers. So long as they're Cymbidium or Violets."

"You're hot when you're bossy," he says, amused by her fight to not smile. "Cymbidium and letters...got it. Any other requests, beautiful?"

This time she can't hold back her smile, melting like Icarus' wings. "Just bring your handsome self and all that other stuff isn't necessary. Oh! Weren't you saying something before? About our _date_?"

He nods, cramming a quick roll into his mouth before standing and his dusting his hands. He offers them to her, pulling her to her feet in a motion so quick their chests collide. He leans his forehead forward to touch hers, both grinning like free spirited children as the tide crashed against the beach.

"I was gonna say we should see who can find the best seashells. Finders keepers, losers weepers."

"It _would_ be nice to have something to remember this by," she agrees, lacing their fingers together as their gazes connect like constellations. "Last one to find ten is a rotten egg?"

"A rotten, rancid egg."

She dissolves into snorting laughter, so infectious that he joins in. "Its nice to know my man is the king of romance. And to think, I believed I was allergic to pickup lines."

"Your man, huh?" He stands taller, tugging her along behind him as they trek further down the beach for a good spot to start searching. "I like the sound of that."

"Huh? Oh, you must be hearing things," she teases, still giggling. "I think I might have said flan...or plan...can or frying pan?"

He grunts, shaking his head. "Denial doesn't look as good on you as that dress does."

She stops, crouching down to unearth a black shell poking out from the sand. Hiding the blush that glowed on her cheeks like the moonlight. "You like this? I got this from a thrift store two years ago."

"Hmm," he hums, watching as she tucks the shell into her shallow dress pocket. "That's why I like it so much. It looks vintage. Which sounds very you."

She laughs, nodding. "You noticed that, huh? Old dress, old car...old phone. Well, two out of three."

"What _did_ happen to your flip phone, anyway?" He bends down to pluck a sand dollar, inspecting it for any unique dents. "It seems like you've had that thing forever."

She releases a sigh, heavy with wistfulness and nostalgia. "I did until Hurricane Caramel rolled in. If she knew I was still driving that Sedan and wearing old fashions, she'd have thrown them in the incinerator. Especially the car."

"You can put that in my pocket, y'know?" He says, pointing to her second find of the night. "Your pockets don't look ten shells deep. I wouldn't want you to have an unfair disadvantage or anything."

She huffs, handing over her precious smooth white shell and the midnight black one with the reluctance of a toddler sharing their toys. "How do I know you won't try to cheat?"

He claps a hand over his chest, as if shot through the heart. "Ouch, Som. If I won't betray you over coleslaw, surely I won't be disloyal over seashells."

She rolls her eyes playfully, looping her arm through his as they continue to walk the beach. "Of course you wouldn't. What was I thinking?"

They continue to travel in silence for awhile, stopping periodically to pick a shell and stow it away into Haru's bottomless pockets. Its on the seventh shell when he finally revisits their earlier conversation.

"Is your sister controlling?"

She falters, slowly raising her eyes up to meet his. His grey eyes look especially fierce and stormy as the night grows darker. And they look as all consuming as outer-space.

"Why? Because of the phone thing?"

He lifts one shoulder in a half-shrug, as if to say 'You tell me.'

"I wouldn't...say _that_ , exactly." She kicks the sand with her barefoot, sending it flying forward an inch or two. "We have a complicated relationship. It was simpler when we were children, before I had to leave home."

He grows even more silent (if that's possible) at this, turning it over in his head. As if sensing this, Someina steps in front of him, forcing him to look at her again.

"I hope you're not blaming our rift on what happened with us. Because its not that." She folds her arms firmly across her chest, expression heated. "Our problem is that she values our parents' word over mine. Its a matter of distrust more than its control."

He gives a short nod, throwing a strong arm around her shoulders so they resume their scavenger hunt. "I still think it might be control. Maybe not your sister doing the controlling, but your parents. If she's well off and has their support, it could be that she stands by them to be provided for and looked after. If she goes against their wishes...that could mean she's out in the cold."

Someina considers this, having never really thought of it that way. "That might be. But, that still means she's choosing something over me. Comfort over loyalty."

"Yeah," is all he can say, not really able to refute that.

They both arrive at a tall tower, a dark foreboding door ajar with an invitation to step inside. Someina looks up at Haru, chewing on her dark hair. "Do you think we should go in? I've never been inside a lighthouse before."

He pushes the door open the rest of the way, pulling a face that says, 'now we _have_ to go in.'

"Haru!" She calls, startled at how her voice echoes as she stares up at the spiral staircase with shadows spilling all over the walls. He's already started going up, leaving her no choice but to pick up her skirts and follow.

Fifteen long minutes later, they finally make it to the top.

She doubles over, hands on her knees and face flushed while he coolly leans out over the observation deck. His expression as impassive and calm as if he'd walked down three steps instead of up more than three stories.

"Send me your fitness routine," she huffs and puffs, holding her sides. "Whatever you're doing must make you Superman or something."

He simply smiles without explanation, pointing out over the water. "You see that buoy out there? One time, I took a boat out with Kyo and Momiji."

She spares him a look of terror, mouth agape. "And you lived to tell the tale?"

He chuckles, shrugging. "Barely. Momiji was driving him crazy, so they started to fight and the boat tipped over, sending us under. Momiji and I had sense enough to wear our life-jackets. Kyo wasn't so fortunate."

"What happened?"

"Kagura was the lifeguard on duty that day. Usually, the protocol is to take out another boat when you're that far out. That girl swam so fast and so far, it was amazing that she didn't pass out and that Kyo didn't drown before his wedding."

"Imagine if Tohru hadn't agreed to babysit Kaiko..." she trails off, resting her chin in the palm of her hand. "I would have never heard that story."

He traverses the secluded lighthouse, clearing the space to stand behind her. Causing her heartbeat to jump as his hands land on the rails on either side of her. "Looks like my sarcasm is rubbing off on you. And that wasn't even in my lesson plan." He smirks, he scruff of his stubble brushing her cheek from where his chin rests on her shoulder. "You're a natural."

Her hand comes up to cup his cheek, leaning back into him with all the troubles of the week dissolving under his closeness. "Since when did you stop shaving? You're a little prickly, right now."

"Are you calling me Saboten? Because I'm pretty sure that name's taken."

She laughs, the rumble of it felt in his own body like she was the bass and he was the speakers. He envelops her body, inspiring her to place her hands over his, threading them together.

"I like it."

"I like this, too," he says, nuzzling her neck and leaving little bites.

"I meant the facial hair you've got going on, but..." she squeals as he bites her harder, though he's quick to make it up to her in a way that makes her lose her train of thought. "You, uh...I mean..."

Who was she kidding?

Who could think we did things like that?

She rolls her eyes at herself, throwing the idea of conversation out into the ocean below them.

"Oh, forget it."

She spins around in his arms, allowing his lips to meet hers as she runs her fingers through his hair. Dancing down to the base of his neck and back up again in touches so feathery his eyes roll back. When she tugs on the end of his hair, he sucks her lip between his teeth just to make her sigh against him. She cradles his neck as she rises on her tiptoes, but Haru has better ideas. He wraps one arm around her back side, scooping her completely off her feet so she had to hook her legs around his waist just to hang on. Her breath leaves her in a pleasured gasp, kissing him without holding back. The sounds of their breathing growing heavier as the heat between them expands.

Out of nowhere, a single drop of water falls from the sky like a tear. It smashes against the metal railing at the speed of hail, though it goes unnoticed as the couple are too swept up in each other to see it. But its that one drop that ushers in thousands, shattering their connection with the tidal wave of water pouring down in slants that douse them in it.

"Ugh," she groans, wondering what good the lighthouse was if water still got in. "Its freezing!"

Haru brings Someina back down to earth, both setting to fix their drenched clothes. Her dress clung to her skin and, being the thin material it was, made it see through.

When she notices this, she looks away shyly. Not sure if she should cover her body considering he'd seen it before...or if it didn't matter.

They both exchange a glance, taking her aback at the heated look in his eyes. He clears his throat as if to tamp down on whatever was passing through his mind, changing gears.

"As corny as it sounds," he says, putting his hands on her waist as she looks up at him. "Let's go home so we can warm up."

She bounces up onto her toes again, pressing a kiss to his nose. Thankful he was making her feel comfortable and not exposed. "A warm drink and a good movie by the fireplace?"

He scoffs at this silly question, because what else was there? "Nothing less."

She smiles, even though she's shivering late at night in a dress that was probably ruined. Because even in what would be a miserable situation, he somehow made it...exciting. Like what whatever came was worth it if it meant he would be the silver lining, showing her the good in it.

"Let's go home, then."

...

When Haru gets home the next afternoon after a long day in the garage - sweaty and his coveralls slicked with motor oil - his phone flashes a name on his screen that stops him dead in his tracks.

Why would she be calling? They haven't spoken for months by now.

Haru steps out onto the balcony, bringing the phone up to his ear as the door shuts soundly behind him. "Mom?"

"WHAT IS THIS I'M HEARING ABOUT YOU HAVING A GRANDBABY AND NOT TELLING ME ABOUT IT?!" He yanks the phone away from his ear as she continues wailing into it. "I HAD TO HEAR ABOUT IT FROM SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOU, AND THAT'S COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE."

"Yes, but...who told you?" He scratches the back of his neck, sighing. He hadn't planned to bring it up until things had settled enough and they met in person.

"I had to hear about it from Rin during our tea time," she answers, just as hotly but not loudly. "She tried to convince me that we should go our separate ways just because you two split up, but I told her no. I don't agree with you two breaking up at all. What's wrong with you?"

He grips the railing as he leans over it, remembering why he never told her his business. Because she always overreacted and passed it around like free candy to her group of chatterboxes.

"With all due respect, Rin and I were toxic for each other. So whether you agree with my personal decisions or not, I make them."

He can hear her tapping a spoon against her cast iron pot in the background, imagining she's making his favorite chili. Not too hot, but not mild. Five different cheeses, saltines and tortilla chips to dip with, and served with the sweetest lemonade to ever be. Even though she was pushy and invasive, she was his mom. And he had to remind himself of that when she got like this.

"I don't understand it, but I'll let it go," she says, still moving around the kitchen. "I was really calling to find out when I can meet my granddaughter. Surely, you're not going to keep me from meeting her."

"No, I'm sure Som will be fine with it."

"Som?" He blinks slowly at how weird his nickname for her sounds coming from someone else. "Is that the girl you got pregnant?"

He looks over his shoulder, as if Someina could hear this conversation and afraid that it would upset her.

"Someina is more than some girl I went to bed with," he says curtly, wanting to make that much clear before she overstepped even more. "Yes, she's Kaiko's mom. But I also have feelings for her. So I would appreciate it if you didn't speak of her like she's nothing to me."

"Alright, alright," she grumbles. "No need to get defensive...she's named Kaiko, huh? I suppose that's decent. When is a good time for me to come up there?"

It wasn't often that Haru experienced fear or anxiousness. A lot of the times he was the protector and the one that said what he thought, regardless of the consequences.

But every once in a while, like now...he panicked.

He straightens immediately, searching every compartment of his brain for an excuse to delay the meeting. At least for a couple more months.

"But what about your foot? The doctors didn't approve you for traveling yet, did they?"

She scoffs, taking a seat in her arm chair. "Hatsuharu, I've been recovered since the beginning of January. I'm more than capable of making a two hour trip up there. Besides, you know I have a driver."

Right...he forgot about that.

**You're the worst at this. You should let me take over. I'd have more women, money, and I'd be better at improvising than you could ever be.**

How about you help me come up with something instead of insulting me?

**And ruin my own show? Not in this lifetime, idiot.**

"So?" His mom repeats, having been talking the entire time he was thinking. "When?"

"Uh..." what else could he come up with that sounded reasonable? Work, maybe? Nah...she'd go into another dissertation about the fact his money works for him, not the other way around.

"I have...school starting up soon," he settles on, scrubbing the toe of his boot against the concrete. "They told me the first week of Engineering study is exhausting at best, so now isn't really a good time."

She huffs, deeply displeased that was her son's priority over her coming to meet his secret daughter.

"You'd rather go to school for a job like _that_ instead of letting me visit? Of all the—"

"—Hey, mom" he talks over her, more than done with this conversation. "I need to get off the phone, I'm catching up on laundry and making dinner tonight. I'll call you next month or so to let you know when."

"Hatsuharu—"

"Bye."

Before she can get in another word edgewise, he hangs up, and drops his forehead to the railing as if that could make him forget the last several minutes altogether.

Why was it that he could forget what he wanted to remember, but remember what he wanted to forget?

...

"Daddy," Kaiko says, climbing up onto his lap as he sits at the table with three different engineering textbooks and a book for diabetics open. His regular studies were important, but so was understanding the disease his girl struggled with. They both had a lot to learn about the other that went beyond the normal expectations in a relationship.

He wraps his arms around his daughter, glad to have such a pleasant study break.

"What do you need? You just wanted to see me or something?"

She shakes her head, waving three tickets in front of his face. "Mommy told me to ask you if you would take Daisy and I to the Circus. Rain is sick so she can't go."

Haru blanches at that horrifying word.

 _Circus_.

He tries to play it cool, forcing a smile that was natural only a minute ago.

"And why can't mommy go?"

She sighs, placing a hand on his shoulder. "She's going to outer space on the internship. So she can't take us."

Was that today? He wondered how she would handle it considering she had his file, and hadn't decided why she wanted to be a psychologist. At least...from what he could tell.

Either way, he point blank refused to be within a mile of the big top. And there was no amount of cuteness in the world that would land him there.

...

Kaiko tugs on his hand, pointing at the bright and colorful lights and the whimsical music blasting from the speakers as she, her father, and her frenemy made their way into the circus. Haru tried to discreetly keep an eye out for flowers squirting water, big shoes, rainbow wigs, and cars that held an impossible amount of his greatest fear.

Clowns.

When he called Someina, borderline begging her to take his place, she could only apologize his ear off and promise that she would make it up to him later. The only way she could fix this is if she was about to throw in more therapists...or more pills.

"This is, like, so lame," Daisy complains, tapping away at a phone newer and more expensive than his own. "My mom would totally take us to a water park if we asked. It would run circles around this dump."

Haru pauses in his swelling panic, shooting a dirty look at the back of this girl's head. It took him a lot to make him angry, but this one had a way of getting under your skin. She was bratty from the second he picked her up.

"Um, why are we getting in a truck?" She'd asked, wrinkling her nose at his souped up project, three years in the making. "Daddy says trucks are for hicks, limos are for princesses."

Then again when they stopped for fast food.

"Mommy says I need to stay trim while I'm young so I can look hot when I'm older. This garbage goes straight to the hips."

And now, with the Circus. Though he had to admit...a water park beat this clown show any day of the week.

"Come on, Daisy!" She trades her father's hand for hers, taking off towards the snow-cone cart. "I want to get the blue before its gone."

"Yeah, yeah," she says, yelping when she pulls harder. "Ow! Pulling causes wrinkly skin, dummy."

Haru massages his temples, wishing that if he absolutely had to go, that Someina was at his side. That she was holding his hand, encouraging him...kissing him until he forgot that he was here.

But she wasn't. And he had a front row seat to his phobia, watching it unfold with his daughter and one cranky six year old.

He scans the area the room of vibrant and kooky colors, taking in acrobats doing flips on the tightrope, contortionists, and lion tamers. Popcorn is thrown up into the air like the wedding bouquet, as a mime juggled something only he could see. The ringleader himself steps around someone swallowing flames from atop a unicycle to take the mic that drops from the ceiling. The level of mayhem crackling to heights expected from a place like this.

"Welcome to the happiest place on earth! Disney borrowed that tagline from us, by the way."

This causes laughter to ripple among the adults in the crowd, though a spiteful child shouts, "Disney is better!"

"Boo!" Another one joins in, jeering at that flimsy excuse for a joke.

Daisy bolts up in her seat, cupping her hands around her mouth as she adds, "Sponge-bathing a skunk is better than this!"

Kaiko pulls her back down by the arm while Haru just slouches deeper in his seat, drawing the eyes of other parents that glare at them for their outbursts.

What? Did they think she was _his_ child? No thanks.

"A-anyway," the ringleader cuts in, before anyone else can fuss. "We have an incredible show planned for you all tonight. Right before your very eyes...I give you, the one...the only...Sunshine!"

The crowd rise to their feet in applause for the Circus veteran, celebrating him being in the biz for thirty years plus. But everything moves in slow motion for Haru at the chilling sound of that name. One he hadn't heard in such a long time he'd almost forgotten it...almost. Maybe he's wrong. Maybe there was some other guy with the same moniker, or perhaps a copycat. He sits up to check, paling as a clown with a huge set of feet, a dark red nose that was once brighter, and a green suspenders steps out all smiles. Then again, its kind of hard not to smile when its painted on your face all day.

He opens his mouth wide, fishing rainbow colored handkerchiefs from his mouth to the delight of even the snottiest child. He hoists it up in the air like a champion's belt, taking several bows as the audience responds in kind with whistles and the roar of claps.

Well...most of the audience, anyway.

Haru back down, hoping and pleading that Sunshine wouldn't darken his doorstep. Or look his way.

But as soon as the clown takes his third bow, he straightens to mind his appraisers. Searching the ocean of faces to gauge whether they wanted balloon animals or jokes when he locks eyes with a man with strange colored hair. One he remembered because it wasn't everyday a boy looked as tough as him, but somehow fainted after he performed at their birthday party.

Sunshine offers a polite smile and a wave, hoping that he'd outgrown his fear. He pulls out his horn and honks it in greeting, and Haru's stomach tosses like a ship on rocky waves. He presses his fingers to his mouth as his pale skin shifts to a sickly green, before the lunch Daisy turned her nose up at comes spewing out of his mouth and onto the floor in front of him. Causing the world around him to go silent and loud at the same time.

See, this was why he didn't like clowns.

...

This time when Someina arrives in the waiting room of her internship, she doesn't even get the chance to be seated before being ushered into Jin Liada's office by the man himself. He was not the type to waste your time with formalities to warm you up to him. It was all about concept and execution.

"Have a seat so we can get started," he says, adjusting the straps of his brown suspenders as he takes his place behind the desk that looked as though it had been polished this morning.

"How are you doing, sir?" She asks, unsnapping a binder to break out her three hole punched essay and Psych write-up. "Did you enjoy your weekend?"

"Yes," he says, sighing as he scoots closer to his desk, reaching down to open a drawer. "Are these pleasantries to distract me from the fact you have once again come unprepared? Or are you simply making small talk?"

She's caught off guard, dumbly watching him stack papers against his desk before stapling them. "I'm...I finished what you asked. Or at least, most of it, that is."

He sets the papers aside, folding his hands together with a no-nonsense expression. "Miss Fujioka, I do hope you have completed your essays and evaluations. But the main thing I wanted you to do was have an answer for me as to why you want to do this job in the first place."

She chews on her lip, handing over what she did have with shaky hands. "I did complete my report on Kaiko. And I reached a diagnosis on the client you gave, but...there's a conflict of interest."

His eyebrow ticks up as he sifts through her pages, skimming them at lightning speed. "Being—?"

"I know the patient," she admits, focusing on the shuffling of his hands and not his expression. "He's the father of the daughter I mentioned, and we're also kind of...seeing each other."

"My word," Mr Liada breathes, sliding his glasses up into his perfectly styled hair with a face full of uncertainty. "But you were still able to reach a diagnosis, right?"

"Yes...he confirmed it for me himself." She pauses her fidgeting, risking a peek at him. "Isn't he _your_ patient considering you have his file? Don't you know him?"

He nods, face hardened in regret. "I do. He stopped seeing me the moment I referred him out to a psychiatrist years ago. He's been prescribed medication, though he refused to combine it with therapy. Says he's 'fine with the pills.'"

Someina's gaze drops to her ballet flats, unsure what to say to that.

He didn't seem too fine with the medication, to her. But he hated the thought of being off them even more. She really wished he hadn't opted out of therapy, because it would have helped him to know that whatever he was experiencing was normal. And that there was someone that could listen, objectively, without fear of them repeating it. She wished he'd agreed sooner than just days ago.

He had seemed on edge opening up to her about it.

A hint of jealousy mixed in with wonder arose at the thought of something else—whether or not Rin knew what he struggled with. And if he'd been burned by how she responded to the point it made him terrified to do so again.

"You know the risks of dating someone like that, correct?" Mr Liada asks, bringing his glasses back down to see her clearly. "There may be times when you find he is there for you. He feels on top of the world, so he makes you think you can be up there with him. But then there are also times when he will be lower than rock bottom, and he will not even be able to roll out of bed in the morning. He'll drag you down with him if you're not careful." He bites his cheek, wondering if he were being as gentle with her as he could while still conveying the severity of the situation. "This is not me being pessimistic, but me offering you the counsel that I'm required as your mentor and...potentially, your friend. I'm warning you, this is one of the hardest relationships to maintain and find happiness in."

"I get what you're saying," Someina cuts in, licking her dry lips. "But, and I mean this as respectfully as possible, each case is different. I'm not ignorant to his condition. I need to have a great relationship for the sake of our daughter, and...I have strong feelings for him that can't be destroyed by his diagnosis."

"That is without a doubt an admirable notion. But what of his non-compliance with the therapy I recommended? Or the times he has not taken his medicine? How will you handle his mood swings and his darkest days?" He leans forward, more serious than she'd ever seen him. "What's your treatment for that?"

"Unending support and listening," she says, pouring conviction into her tone. "I want to see him through the ugliest parts of it and not just experience every rainbow that follows. I want him to feel more than okay with himself. I want him to be able to love himself, and _somehow_ , accept himself. I want to go through the journey with him. We discussed it, and he seems more open to the idea of therapy than before."

Mr Liada stops short at such a bold statement. He'd all but surrendered hope when Haru was at his most stubborn regarding anything he felt isolating. He'd already battled insecurities regarding his intellect and feelings of inadequacy. So anything else to that could make him stick out like a sore thumb was out of the question for a boy dreaming of normalcy.

But this...this was outstanding.

He nods his head slowly in understanding as he extends a hand, shaking hers as he says, "Sounds like you found an answer to my question."

Someina stutters like a buffering video, not quite computing what he was getting at. "Sorry?"

He stands, scooping up Haru's file before tucking it into his metal filing cabinet. Right back where it belonged. "I did some digging to find out more about you, having asked you some questions to research. You informed me of your daughter, but I didn't have much to go on. I followed up with your references, tracked down some sources, and found a connection. Sohma Hatsuharu is the father of your daughter, but also my patient. In learning this...I decided to take the risk of giving you his file, while maintaining his anonymity. This would then, hopefully, make you realize why you chose to be a psychologist in order to make your path clear. But it would also help my patient and my intern to become closer, considering I know my patient well enough to see that he would need a push to open up. That I'd have to force his hand." He shoves his hands into his pockets, sheepishly. "I am incredibly sorry if I came across as manipulative or meddlesome. I was merely trying to help you both."

Stunned.

There's nothing else she could possibly be after that.

Merely keeping him anonymous surely didn't respect the terms of HIPAA. Didn't he care about being fired? Lawsuits?

"Um..."

"Why don't you take the rest of the week to yourself?" He suggests, eyeing her with some level of concern. "I feel as though I've given you a lot to think about. I understand it you need time or you decide to discontinue this internship. I can recommend you others if you decide that's what you need."

Is that what she needed? She didn't know. Her head was stuffed with so much information it could burst. She was only sure that yes, she should leave. And no, it was probably too personal and weird for her to return. She would have to find someone new, even if they _were_ allegedly second best.

"I'll be in touch," she mumbles absently, stumbling out the doorway in a daze as the man sighs. Resuming his place at his desk in a thoughtful, heavy silence.

Maybe he had good intentions. But he made a huge mistake going about it the way he did. He could only hope that one day, they'd both forgive him. But most importantly...benefited from his fault.

...

Haru groans, clutching his stomach as Someina dabs at his forehead with a damp cloth. His body shuddering from the trauma of the afternoon.

"Where are the girls?" He croaks, grateful when she lays the cloth over his forehead to pull the blanket up over his shoulders. "Daisy and Kaiko."

"Oh, I thought you meant Mary-Kate and Ashley." She laughs, though it comes out lame as she too was spent. "They're fine, just a little shaken up. They had this picture in their head of you...which might have been dashed. But you'll make a comeback. They need to accept that you're human and you're not as fearless as you project." She shrugs, reaching for a glass of water. "To be honest, I couldn't care less of what Daisy thinks. She's had an ugly attitude since the day I met her."

He nods, reaching from under the blanket to accept the glass from her. "She's a handful."

"Once, I was considering doing a big chop because I was tired of having long hair in the Summer. The first thing she said to me was, 'If you want to look like a drab boy, then that's your prerogative.' I didn't even know how to spell _penny_ when I was her age!"

He takes a large gulp, speaking over the lips of the glass. "She was a real piece of work from the moment I picked her up to you dropping her off somewhere with Kaiko. Where did you take them, anyway?"

"Is it wrong I wish I could say I sent Daisy off to Kuwait?" She asks, sitting beside him and tucking her feet between the sofa cushions. "I took them to have a sleepover at her mother's house. I figured we could both use some time to decompress."

He blinks, having not even considered that she might have had a less than stellar day with her deadline having come due. "How's your day been? I'm sorry I didn't ask sooner."

She purses her lips, shaking her head. "My main concern is how you're doing with all this. I feel horrible that you had to confront your fear before you were ready."

He claps a hand over her ankle, brushing it with his thumb. "While I appreciate that, I think you're just dancing around my question. What happened?" He can't help but smile a little as he adds, " _Penny_ for your thoughts?"

She smacks him lightly on the shoulder before resting her head there, never tired of him teasing her. "I'm planning to go intern elsewhere. Things are not so professional considering he was your former psychologist. But its fine. I got what I needed out of the experience, so starting over at the next place doesn't feel as daunting."

He frowns at this, a thought going unvoiced as to whether he was the _entire_ reason she'd look for mentorship elsewhere. "What did you gain?"

"You mean other than you," she jokes, looking up at him with a smile. "I finally know why I want to do this. And even though today wasn't the best..at least I'll have that."

"Huh." He grunts. "What did you learn you love so much?"

She snuggles closer to him, allowing her eyes to close as his breaths touch her skin like a sugar plum fairy dancing on air. Delicate...gentle..."I learned that the end result is something we work for. Its the light at the end of a very dark, long tunnel. But the most rewarding part isn't actually the light...its the tunnel."

...

The next day, Som finds herself sleep deprived, having tossed and turned until she only slept three hours. It helped that she had the rest of the week off from the internship and no other job to shove aside her inner turmoil for. In fact, it was Jin Liada that caused her restless night. All because she was deeply disappointed that she wouldn't be studying under his tutelage as she could learn a lot from him. But at what cost? Not keeping her personal life separate from work?

After the night she had, she'd rather spend the entire day sleeping in Haru's bed. But he woke her and Kaiko at the crack of dawn like it was Christmas morning. He had a surprise and he didn't want to wait another second to show them.

"Both of your eyes are still closed, right?"

"Yup!" Kaiko shouts, wiggling like a dog happy to see its owner.

Someina waves the hand not holding Kaiko's, unable to stomach anymore waiting. Especially when this was pre-coffee Someina. "Come on Haru, I need to know if we're crashing another concert or something."

"Silly Som," he chastises, clicking his tongue. "You know I don't like doing the same thing twice. Next time it should be a birthday party."

"How old? 80 or 8?"

He smirks. "Why choose?"

"Daddy! I want to see," Kaiko whines, her bangles jingling as she starts to uncover her eyes.

"Alright, you can open them now."

They open their eyes, blinking to take in the dazzling display before them. Someina's jaw hits the floor as Kaiko shrieks at the top of her lungs, running at top speed to catapult herself in the middle of her yellow canopy bed.

"No. Way." She giggles, rolling back and forth across the glittery bedspread. "This is like Belle's dress in Beauty In The Beast. Rain and Daisy will be so jealous."

Haru smiles, thankful that she seemed excited about something, at least. He looks at the shorter woman beside him, hoping he even came close to capturing what made her hard and soft. Sweet and intense. Colorful and quiet. It was hard to capture her complexity in just one room.

"What...what is this?" She asks, taking in the eyeful that was the new addition to his home.

The room was feminine and oceanic, while maintaining an adult edge of deep blues and greens that refused to be mistaken for that of a little girl. The bed was a Queen with a navy comforter, matching blue and green pillows and sheets. An ottoman sat right in front of the bed, commanding the attention of the room that the window seat vyed for. A plush seat overlooking the city was sandwiched between two ceiling tall book cases with mirrors attached to the sides to expand the room. Giving off the illusion that it was larger than it truly was. There were fairy lights and dark carpeting. Northern lights splashed across her walls with blue and purple light fixtures that didn't clash with the blue, but came together like Aurora Borealis in wintertime.

Her room was connected to a smaller one that held Kaiko's dream canopy, a sunflower field for a mural, a writing desk, and an indoor soccer goal for her to practice on in case she quit ballet. Which was looking more and more likely everytime she watched scrimmages and the World Cup.

But the most shocking thing of all...was the area that Someina assumed was just as closet.

"Go in," he urges, waving his hands in a shooing motion. "Don't leave it hanging."

"What?"

Was that a pun? About the closet?

She pokes her head in, having not realized it was a walk-in. This causes the rest of her body to follow, moving past barren hangers that she didn't know how to fill, until she stops short with a gasp.

Was it...really...?

She stares back at her reflection as her hands find the barre that had been installed in a larger, more spacious section of her closet. It was like an in-home ballet dance studio, fit with mirrors, hard wood floors, built in speakers and ballet gear.

"I know you don't have the best memories with ballet. But I figured... _maybe_ this could wipe out those ugly memories if you make new ones here." Haru's low voice on the back of her neck makes her shudder with chills, as his hand lands atop hers as it still grips the barre.

He smooths the other hand over her waist, facing her in the mirror to even attempt to guess what she was thinking.

"Will you dance in here? Even if it hurts at first...I just want you to be happy. Is this a good surprise or a bad surprise?"

She swallows, parting her lips to respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will keep this A/N very brief as I know SOMEONE is looking at it before reading the chapter. Mhm. You KNOW who you are.
> 
> But I want to give a shoutout to Fruits Basket's anime reboot! Its exquisite, its nostalgic, and you should go watch it if you haven't already. And yes...when it was first announced, I almost fell out. And no, this is not an exaggeration.
> 
> Fun fact about this chapter.
> 
> Okay...two, actually.
> 
> One, I was torn between so many chapter titles. I just hope I picked the right one. It could have been Circus Circumstances or Two Halves. Medication Mania or Medication Madness. I think this one's pretty decent, but lemme know.
> 
> Two, I hadn't planned on this chapter being mostly about Haru. But your chapter isn't focused on Haru...are you really Fruits Basketing? lolol
> 
> Anyways, see you all next time! ^_^
> 
> P.S. Remember what I said. Watch Fruits Basket 2019. Yeah? Yeah.
> 
> P.P.S. I mean it xD


	9. Smoke & Mirrors

**Chapter Nine: Smoke & Mirrors**

"Its...a lot..." she says, doing nothing to unravel the tension in his shoulders. "Its too much, too soon."

He frowns, taking a step back. "You don't like it."

"No, I do. But...I can't accept it." She wraps her arms around her curvy frame, unable to keep his stare. She didn't want to know if he was hostile or just plain hurt.

"Daddy! Can I go watch Totally Spies on your TV?" Kaiko asks, springing into the void expanding between them.

He jumps slightly at the interruption, having forgotten she was just in the adjoining room. "I thought you'd want to spend all day in your Princess room."

"Yeah...but I don't have a TV." She pouts, planting her hands on her hips. "Why don't I have a TV?"

"Because you're too young," they respond in unison, both exchanging an awkward glance before redirecting their attention to Kaiko.

"Knock yourself out," he says, grunting when she squeezes him in a suffocating hug. As she runs off to the master bedroom, he rethinks it, amending his words, "But don't actually knock yourself out, Kaiko. Cartoon birds won't circle your head if you do!"

Someina snorts before she can stop herself, slapping a hand over her mouth. It makes Haru smile a little as a some air is let out of the bubble of tension, though still unable to relax in the confusion of her rejecting his gift to her.

"Why?"

She looks lost for a moment before she sobers, realizing the heavy atmosphere's gluttony knew no bounds and still ate at them.

"Because, it feels like we're going too fast. I mean...we only started getting to know each other months ago because I moved in after our night together. Next thing I know, I'm in your bed one moment and making out with you in a lighthouse in the next. Now..." she sighs, raking her fingers through her hair. "Now that you made a room for me and for Kaiko, its feeling very permanent. At least before, I could think—"

"—Think what, Som?" He asks, an edge in his tone that she only heard when she touched a nerve. "That this was temporary? I'm not getting down on one knee for you, but I thought it would be a nice gesture so that you could be comfortable for however long you decide to stay here."

He kicks off the wall he'd been leaning against, grabbing for the doorknob. "But if you want to leave because you feel trapped, then say the word and you can go. I'm not gonna force you to stay or beg you to if you need to leave."

She blows out a long breath, the first time her face heats up for something other than their flirting. "I want to be here Haru, and I want to be with you. But this feels like a bigger commitment than what I'm used to. It feels like...I'm not just a guest at your place, anymore. But a resident. And our relationship is too new for something like that."

" _This_ scares you when we have a kid together?" He tousles his hair, turning to face her again. "You want to date me and live with me...but you don't want your own room because it feels too... _permanent_."

Well, when he put it like that it sounded pretty stupid. She didn't know how to explain the confusion in her heart. Or why she felt the high dimming in the wake of fears she hadn't even known about. Especially when she was still getting to know herself, let alone him.

"Look, I kind of get it," he says, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I don't know much about how things went in your other relationships. But, its probably scary for you to be living so close to a man. And this kind of cements that you're stuck with me. Or, maybe its because you feel like you owe me for setting up this room for you."

"Haru—"

"Or maybe I'm the one coming on too strong too fast, and you're just trying to find a nice way to say it."

She groans in frustration, fast walking until she stood toe to toe with him, her eyes level with his chest. "I want you, Haru. And it terrifies me that you like me so much that you went out of your way to pull off such a big gesture. But I'm also scared because I'm not sure I want my own room. Not because I don't like this, because if I ever dreamt up a room, it would look exactly like this. But Haru, if I have my own room..." she grabs his hand, folding their hands together as she raises her eyes to meet his. "...if I have my own room, then I can't share yours. And it floors me how badly I want to stay with you when I've never felt like this with anyone...not even Hatori."

"But then..." she nuzzles into him, planting a kiss on his neck. "You did have me, first."

He tries to breathe, but it was hard to when she'd just ripped his oxygen away from him with her confession. And he could only hope to thank her for it.

Without hesitating, he spins her around by the waist until her back hit the door, making her gasp in surprise.

She smelled of laundry soap - lilac, with a sprig of mint - as he dipped his head low enough that he brushed his nose against hers. But as her lips parted, he breathed in the sweet fragrance of the gum she was chewing, a sudden urge blooming in his chest like Spring.

"Haru," she whispers, unable to continue when his thumb traces her bottom lip.

"Say my name again, Som," he pleads in a whisper, trailing his thumb from her lip to the delicacy of her jawline. "And tell me again about how you miss being in my bed."

Her face turns bright red, almost choking on her gum as she struggled to return his answer with a sexy comeback of her own. "That's not exactly what I said."

"But its what you meant, right..." he taunts, kissing up and down her jaw and her neck. And like fluid in slow motion, his mouth smoothly climbs up to tease her lips with his. "What flavor is that, anyway?"

"Mango orange, sugar-free of course," she rushes out, hating how breathy she sounded. It was honestly embarrassing. "Do you hate mangos? I know you don't like sour apples, but—"

"I want to taste it," he says, blunt as the sky is blue. "I don't think I've ever had that flavor before."

Her heartbeat flies into a flurry at the seductive words, even though it was said in such a flat tone she almost thought he was being sarcastic. "Um...there's more in my bag, if you want."

"No," he replies firmly, confidently as though he could see through her. His hands cupping her waist to bring her hips fully against his. "Yours is better."

"Oh yeah?" She challenges, pouring bravado she didn't feel into her voice. "And exactly how do you plan to take it from me?"

He shrugs. "Simple."

Before she can ask him to elaborate, he crashes his lips against hers, right as his hands slide down to the back of her skirt. She opens her mouth in shock, allowing him to deepen the kiss as one of his hands wraps her leg around his hip. It feels like sunshine pours into her body and her brain turns to mush with the fusion of their kiss. Her eyes sliding closed as the familiar, intimate emotions she'd felt the last time they were in this position come flooding back like a storm surge.

Just as she gets more into it, he breaks the kiss, a cocky smile dangling from his lips. His soft, almost addicting lips that she wanted to keep kissing before he so rudely interrupted.

"Anyway, I can't redo the room, so you might as well hangout in it anyway. I'll be back later tonight, but I've got some parts to buy before I work on my next job." He walks past her, pulling the door open to pause in its threshold. "Oh. And Som?"

"Yeah?"

Her eyes widen when she notices him chewing something, that same smirk fixed onto his face. "I was right. Yours is better."

Before she can hope to recover and chuck a pillow at him, he's already out the door.

...

Haru sets down countless shopping bags on his workbench with a resounding thump. Having lugged the heavy tools from his motorcycle's carriage all the way from around back to the garage.

He smiles to himself as though he hadn't just walked forever and a day, stripping off his jacket and pants to slip into his coveralls. He rolls it down so that it sits around his waist, his smile growing bigger at the thought of Someina.

She was on his mind all the time, especially after the kiss he had to pull himself away from. But now, he was having a good time imagining her reaction to his strip tease in the mechanic garage. She'd probably blush, but then she'd say something to knock him off his feet and make him crave her as his lungs had burned for air when he couldn't stop himself from kissing her.

He passively wondered if she still had that thigh hugging dress from the infamous dinner all those months ago. As he begins rummaging through the bags, the smile slides from his face, unpleasantly reminded of who she'd been wearing that dress for.

Well, at least he could say he saw her in that hot number during Christmas. Wait... _he_ saw her in it, too.

"Haru!" A blonde trills in an excited, but aged German accent. Bursting the thought bubble he'd, as usual for him, found himself lost in.

"Ow!" Haru shouts in pain, rubbing his head after he smacked it into the tool shelves. "If you see me standing under something, warn me next time?"

The man hurries over, spitting apologies like he was auditioning to play Ritsu in his life story. "Are you alright? This is like the boating incident from a few Summers ago. Except no water, no Kyo, and...okay, so maybe _not_ like that one Summer."

"Funny you said that..I was just talking to Som about it the other night."

"Oh wow, how ironi—" Momiji freezes, his jaw smacking against the floor. "Do you mean Fujimoto Someina? That girl you had the hots for our third year?"

Haru claps a hand over his loudmouth cousin's flapping lips, forgetting that Shigure was out to lunch with his third girlfriend that week and wouldn't be around to overhear.

"Yes, _Someina._ I actually didn't tell you about her did I?"

He pulls Haru's hand away, scowling. "No, you did not. If you don't say it in the group text you might as well never say it at all. And one more thing...wear less rings. They hurt a lot when you're smacked with them, you know?"

Haru laughs, clapping him on the back even harder. "You made me hit my head, so now the scales are balanced again."

Momiji watches as Haru starts across the garage to an emptied, overturned car, following close on his heels. "Hey! You didn't finish telling me about Someina. How did you find her? And when did you give her that nickname?"

Haru sighs, squatting to busy himself with checking the undercarriage. Maybe he could buy himself some time to avoid retelling the story for the umpteenth time. Maybe he could drone on about the piece he needed to fix until Momiji grew bored and gave up.

No, it would do no good to avoid the topic. He was nothing if not persistent, and it was unfair considering they were best friends. Besides...Momiji _was_ there that night.

"That's right!" Haru exclaims, making the formerly hyper active blonde start at his unusual outburst. "What happened that night? Its been bothering me for years, _us_ for years." He stands again, pivoting to ask him directly. "You were there, right? Or did we mix that up too?"

Momiji taps his finger against his chin, looking up in thought. "Ja! You two were going on and on about how stress affects people, since it was a psychology class. Someina said she wished she could leave her stress behind and you felt the same. I don't know what was going on at home for her, but Rin had been dumping her baggage on you and I could see the toll it took."

"That's right..." he muses, pulling over a chair and gesturing for Momiji to do the same. "Rin was telling me some pretty heavy stuff, and I didn't know how to be there for her as a friend. I must have been pretty stressed out, too..."

Momiji nods, clasping his hands over his knee. "You both were. But, you said you had a fun idea to blow off some steam, and she was instantly interested. You brought out your dad's whiskey, even though I told you it was a bad idea."

He pauses, sucking in a breath as if oxygen would cushion the blow of what he'd have to shed light on. Knowing that his friend would only blame himself for actions that weren't entirely his fault.

"But...it was like you were two different people when you were at your worst. One day, you were completely subdued and quiet. The next, you were almost violent and vicious. I think you were skipping your medication a lot, which was only good because it wouldn't have mixed well with alcohol. But it also meant that..."

Haru waves him on, not liking the look on his face. "That we got blackout drunk?"

"Only after you turned black and convinced Someina to drink with you. I had grabbed my coat to leave because you were being really mean to me. _He_ was, anyway." He shakes his head, his eyes faraway as he found himself stranded in the memory. "You were calling me things like 'pussy' for not drinking with you, and as soon as you and Someina started to get flirty and touchy, I left. She wanted to do whatever happened just as much as _Black Haru_ , but I thought you were both going to take it to the next level. And I didn't want to stick around for the name-calling."

"I did that to you?" Haru confirms, disgusted by who he was. Who he _is_.

The way he acted off his medication was terrifying. Like a villain existed inside of him with a weakness for the dopamine he lacked and a penchant for destruction.

"Don't worry about it," Momiji says, smiling up at him in hopes of soothing the tension that scarred his features. "You're not responsible for what Black Haru does. You aren't even aware of what's happening."

"No...I should have taken those stupid pills. That was my fault." Haru pales at the next thought, wanting to choke it down. But he had to ask, or he'd just lie awake thinking about it endlessly. He wasn't sure what was the most tormenting—the truth or the ignorance. "What if I hurt Som and we both just don't remember it?" He doubles over as if in pain, furious fingers gripping his hair. "How do I know she wanted it? I can't...remember."

"Haru...did you sleep with her after I left? You didn't just kiss?"

He bows his head, so much pain welling up inside his skull he wanted to crack it open to stop it. "More than that...we have a daughter together."

Momiji flies out of his seat, his accent slipping in his shock. "What?!"

"She's five, almost six...she's one of the most beautiful things in my life. But...what if she was conceived in a horrible way? Would I do that...? Would I force myself on her?"

"No way," Momiji shouts. Whether he was arguing against Haru's fears or the news of their child, it was unclear. But then, everything grew murkier with each tear in the flimsy fabric of his reality.

**You should have just asked me in the first place, stupid. I was there.**

Haru's face twists further in anguish, unable to stomach the uncertainty another second.

_If you did something to hurt her..._

**It was all consensual, even though it happened in the heat of the moment.**

**I might not care about a lot. But she and the hottie we were banging before are part of the exception.**

_You have feelings...? Are you kidding?_

**You seem to be forgetting that even though we're different personalities, we still share the same brain and heart. Whether I want to or not. Even that brat of yours is...necessary.**

Haru pauses at those words, having only thought his counterpart to be a burden...his enemy. But right now, he was seeing a new side to himself. One that hovered somewhere in the middle, acting as a bridge between the two polar opposites. Not like two separate selves tirelessly fighting for control.

"Do you have a picture of her?" Momiji asks, hoping to lighten up the conversation and relieve his curiosity. "I can't imagine how beautiful your daughter must be. You and Someina both have good looks!"

"Yeah," he says, shaking himself out of his stupor. "Give me a sec..." It doesn't even take a full minute of scrolling through his camera roll to find one. It was easy when Kaiko made everyday memorable enough that her parents documented it. With a single photograph, he finds the strength to smile again.

He still wasn't sure how he felt about himself after what he'd found out, but if nothing else...

Kaiko was his 'something right.'

He turns his phone so that Momiji can see, the blonde lighting up with excitement.

"I called it! She's such a pretty ballerina." He bursts into delighted laughter. "You're gonna have to fight off the boys with a stick to keep them away from such a cute girl."

**I'd like to see a guy stupid enough to try something with her.**

**I wish he would.**

_This_ he could agree with. The thought of his daughter being chased by boys was something he hadn't had to think about, but was feeling almost as nervous about it as he was with clowns.

"Hey, I never did ask you what you do these days," Haru points out, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. It was obviously a big deal to find out about the secret daughter thing, but he felt selfish that the conversation had only been on him. It had to have been at least three months since Momiji had left for Germany. And the group text all the Sohmas had with one another was mostly spammed with memes and sarcastic responses.

"Well...as you know...I left for home to soak up Mutti's culture, as well as to be there for her. To get to know her." He shrugs, crossing one leg over the other. "Since she passed, I thought it important to learn more about her. Even though we weren't on good terms for a long time."

Right...he'd forgotten that.

His parents gave Momiji up for adoption before they had his little sister, Momo. By the time Momiji was enrolled in a fashion institute in Paris, and Momo was starting high school, their mother had been fighting a losing battle to Stage 4 Cancer. And any chance they had to reconnect was impossible.

"All that remained was her home, father, and Momo. I felt it the natural choice to jet over there as soon as I graduated to see what of our relationship could be salvaged. But by the time I arrived..." he sighs, his voice still catching as if it had happened three hours ago. "She was gone."

Haru blows out a breath, hit square on with the force of his news. "Saying sorry feels so useless, but I am unbelievably sorry that I wasn't there for you. I can't think about how hard it was for you. How hard it _still_ is for you."

"Thank you, but—" he bats that away, blinking back the tears in his eyes. "I didn't come to be the bearer of bad news. I actually wanted to hang out with you if you were free and share something exciting!"

"Being?"

Momiji throws his arms up, amber eyes shining with mirth. "I am working as an assistant to a designer who's clothing will be featured in _New York Fashion Week_! Isn't that amazing?"

"Wow." Haru blinks, shocked at how quickly the mood could shift. "That's incredible, Momiji. I don't know anything about fashion...but I can tell by how excited you are that its a big deal."

He bobs his head rapidly, practically bouncing in his seat. "The only thing bigger would be to featured in the _Met Gala_! Or actually, _Paris Fashion Week_. But hey, a guy can dream."

He meant every bit of what he said about how happy he was for his friend to have this amazing opportunity. Even though he wasn't well versed in his world these days, he was still content to support his endeavors while pursuing his own.

**Speaking of pursuits...I still haven't forgotten when you took back control that night.**

His brows scrunched together, confused at Black Haru's seething.

_What's with your attitude this time? Aren't you past the point of tantrums?_

**You difficult, idiotic—**

_Look, I have no idea how or why the switch happened. But I woke up feeling normal._

_You must have borrowed my whole night, but you're whining?_

Haru sits back, realizing that he was arguing with no one but _himself_.

About something he didn't have complete understanding of.

He shakes his head, wondering if maybe he was due for a nap.

...

_A few days later..._

"Ready to go see the shrink?" Haru jokes, bending to steal a kiss on the forehead from Someina as he pops open the fridge.

She nods absently, flipping through the TV channels. "Hey, Haru?"

"Yeah?" He asks through a swig of orange juice, not at all bothered that she had been zoned out before.

"Why do you only have the basic package? Your provider doesn't even have football?"

He knocks back the rest of his juice before standing to rinse it in the sink, his shoulders lifting in a half shrug. "I dunno...I didn't even know you were into sports." He shuts off the faucet, approaching her as she settled on the local news station. "Is that something you would want? I know we haven't finished talking about how permanent your stay would be, but..." he hugs her waist and rests his chin on her shoulder, rocking them back and forth. "I can always upgrade."

She laughs, her hand flying up to caress his cheek from behind her as he nuzzled her. "I wouldn't want to be a—oh my gosh."

She accidentally head butts his chin as a red ticket banner scrolls across the screen.

**BREAKING NEWS: NATIONALLY RENOWNED PSYCHOLOGIST JIN LIADA GONE PSYCHO.**

"That hurt, Som...Som?" He waves a hand over her eyes, taking in the faraway look in them as a shaky hand covers her mouth. "You're freaking me out, babe."

She lowers herself to the couch in slow motion, before she can find her voice. Lost somewhere between her thoughts, what she was hearing, and her vocal chords. "That's him. That's the psychologist I was interning under. He'a being arraigned for trial."

"Whoa," Haru breathes, having not seen the man since he was a teenager. "Did they say the charges?"

She shook her head in stunned silence, picking up the remote and nearly maxing out the volume.

"A close source to the man in question has taken up for his misdeeds, saying quote, 'His ambitions always pursued the fantasy of helping everyone. Unfortunately, the law is a villain he has yet to change or vanquish, though he hopes his very public trial will be the system's kryptonite,' end quote. The forty year old man is due to be undergoing a trial for his crimes of violating the privacy rights of his clients in a matter of days. Stay tuned for more information—"

_Click._

Haru couldn't stomach anymore of it, and by the looks of how shaken up his girl was, Someina couldn't either. He hangs his head, pressing his forehead to his hands in absolute confusion and frustration.

Whoever the close source was gave them one heck of a soundbite, spinning poetry out of the act of betrayal exacted on him and maybe others. It was hard to think that someone he had first sought out for help had become so bent and twisted, at least from on this side of the TV screen.

"I don't understand why he would turn himself over," Someina mumbles, her eyes unseeing as her fingers dug into the couch cushions. "What he did was wrong, but he really did intend to help us. And probably other people."

Haru scoffs, twisting one of the many rings that decorated his fingers. "He told you about me before I was ready to tell you. What if I wasn't serious about our relationship and it scared you off? Or what if it scared you off because I am serious about you? He could have done irreparable damage to our relationship."

"Yeah, but—"

"There need to be consequences, Someina." Haru stands, causing her to look up and take in the darker edge to his expression. "He needs to be fired or sued or do time. Maybe even all three. And that's both sides of me talking."

That was colossal.

Both different sides of the same coin, it was strange to think they could see eye to eye. About anything.

She bounces up onto her toes, grabbing onto his shoulders so that she could look him in the eye without the height difference.

"I know, this upsets me too. Its why I was so out of it the other day. But, even though I was thinking about cutting my losses and moving on...I was squatting between staying or going." She chews on her lip, knowing it was fruitless to wish it to be better. "He was the very best, and I wanted to be second at the very least." And it was hard to find someone on his level that wasn't too busy, too arrogant, or too foreign to understand their language.

Haru sighs, dropping his forehead against hers and closing his eyes. "I would have stood by you—because I support your dreams—but I wouldn't make the mistake of trusting him again."

Someina laughs, though thoroughly unamused at the painful irony of the situation. "I guess its a good thing we're going to therapy right after this, huh?"

He barks out a laugh, his hands moving to clasp at the small of her back. "Can't fault the man for his impeccable timing, I guess."

"Do you think you're gonna prosecute? If Yuki's a prosecutor, he could do it pro bono for you, right?"

He shakes his head, lightly. "He is a prosecutor, but he wouldn't expect any case—especially the first—to be without a retainer. If he falls flat in the courtroom during his first trial, at least he'll be able to have the money to fall back on and sit pretty until a winning case comes along."

He was the first to turn his back on the family's money, considering what his mother was willing to do to get it.

She brushes her lips across his before planting her feet back on the ground, though his hands don't leave her waist. "I bet he'll win his first one, or they'll just settle out altogether." She can't even get the rest out with a straight face. "Kaiko told me he's squeaky like Mickey. Who could stand a chance against a mouse that powerful?"

He bops her on the nose, making her scrunch it up like their daughter often did. "I see you've got jokes. I hope you don't mind if I use it and take the credit."

She huffs, pushing his hands off her and facing away from him. "I _do_ mind, thank you very much."

He scoops her up and she squeals at the top of her lungs, flung over his shoulder without a care in the world. "What did you say? I can't hear you from back there. You should just save it for therapy."

She reaches forward and pinches him, making him jump.

He had to give her props for managing to surprise him, as it wasn't so easy to do.

But she was also becoming more unpredictable the more she loosened up.

"This gives new meaning to talk to the butt," she jokes, giving him another pinch.

...

"Go ahead and have a seat," the smiling receptionist says, one hand on her keyboard and the other handing back her insurance card. "Just fill out those forms, and Miss Briar will be with you shortly."

Someina offers a small thank you, finding her way back to her seat beside Haru who'd nodded off with a motorcycle magazine covering his face.

She shakes her head, though it makes her laugh quietly to herself, dissolving some of the nerves she felt being here.

She knew she'd suggested therapy and had been right to. She even knew that it was borderline hypocritical to be a psychologist and not be okay undergoing therapy herself. But knowing and feeling often felt like two completely different animals duking it out in a cage.

She tucks a fading red strand behind her ear, staring down at the paperwork littered with daunting questions.

It was an evaluation numbered 1-5, from strongly disagree to strongly agree. And all the questions felt personal and more invasive than she remembered they would be. It had been five, maybe since years since she last filled one of these out.

When she reaches the page right before the medical release forms, the pen she'd been twirling between her teeth slips out of her hand and smacks against the clipboard.

"Suzuki SV650," Haru blurts out in his sleep, causing the magazine to flip over into his lap as he blinks himself awake.

"Sorry..." Someina blushes, covering the forms with her hands. "Did I wake you?"

He shrugs, leaning back and crossing one ankle over the other. "Maybe...but you're a pretty thing to wake up to."

She laughs nervously, angling her body slightly away from him so that he couldn't see the questions that swam across the pages. She wondered if he could hear how they taunted her...

_Have you ever experienced depression?_

_Have you ever been prescribed antidepressants?_

_Have you had any suicidal thoughts?_

There were all just, so...bluntly put. Like they were set up to expose the darkness in a person for other's to see and form their opinions about, just by asking a yes or no question. She knew it was a general first session, and the questions weren't tailored to the individual. But she really wished they weren't so tactless.

"Sohma Hatsuharu," a man in a button up and slacks calls, from the now ajar office door.

"Present," he calls, drily before standing and tucking his wallet into his back pocket. "I'll see you on the other side..." he bends down to kiss her on the top of the head, adding, "You'll do fine, beautiful. I'm gonna need all the help."

As he flashes her one more soft smile and disappears behind the door, she sinks inside herself. Shamefully moving her hands away now that he's not there to look over her shoulder...or try, anyway.

She felt like a fraud.

It wasn't Haru that was gonna need the help. She was the one that hadn't been entirely honest with him, or with herself.

Everything in her was screaming the same thing over and over like she was imprisoned. The same hungry demand of her parasympathetic nervous system to not allow herself to be up for speculation and for show.

_Escape_

_Escape_

_Escape_

...

"Go ahead and make yourself comfortable, while I make copies of the assessment you completed." A tall blonde woman that could pass for Uo's long lost, friendlier twin sister steps out, allowing Someina the space to think. And breathe. Something she had been forgetting how to do since she stepped into the intimidating atmosphere.

She looks from the miniature babbling brook replica seated on the coffee table, then to the speakers playing meditation music no louder than a hum.

It wasn't that it wasn't set up to be a peaceful environment, but her anxiety about the situation was something she couldn't shake. She was just as jittery as if she downed a gallon of espresso.

This thought makes her leg stop bouncing up and down, overwhelmed with the urge to slap herself. What was she getting all bent out of shape for? This was supposed to help her, not make her lose her mind. It wasn't an interrogation and she needed to get a grip.

"Aright," the Uo doppelgänger says as she claims the plush seat in front of her, making her jump. "Let's start off with you telling me something about yourself. It can be anything that comes to mind, but I do want to dive right in."

What? Just like that?

Someina laughs, though it comes out robotic, restlessly tucking her hands beneath her thighs. "I thought you'd start off with an icebreaker or something. There isn't such a thing as therapy foreplay?"

Miss Briar's brows raise to her golden hairline, though she seems unfazed by her client's word choice. "I don't like to coddle my clientele. It actually can do more harm than good, taking the gentle approach with certain people. Based on your personal assessment..." she drags her finger down the page, tapping something with her pointer "...You're not answering honestly. You're putting down a lot of neutral answers, which wouldn't raise any flags if you weren't here to address an issue." She sits back, folding her hands behind her head like she was relaxing on a beach in Tahiti. "If there were no problem, you wouldn't need my help. So, are we going to jump right in, or do you want me to hold your hand throughout this entire process?"

"I...I beg your pardon?" Someina squeaks, finding it just as hard to speak as if her tongue were stuck to a frozen pole. "This seems very abrasive... _rude_ , even."

"No two therapists or psychiatrists think the same. Some would lure you into a sense of security by making you comfortable, easing into the questions. I'm all for being gentle with those that truly need it. However, if someone is not interested or uncooperative, I do feel less inclined as no one can get through to a person if they don't let them. You don't seem like you're actually trying to help yourself, here." She sighs, closing up the booklet with her assessment, slipping it into her briefcase. "Why waste time if you're not ready for this, and you're unwilling to even be transparent on paper?"

If she'd been standing, she would have fallen over in shock at the woman's methods. She wasn't sure if she was being cold...or if she was just not here for clients that didn't really want the help they were paying to get.

She knew each therapist was different, but she hadn't expected this.

Okay...So she _may_ have sugarcoated her answers so she'd be given the all clear on certain topics...but really, she was only here to find out how she could help Haru, and to maybe work on the family thing. Anything outside of that felt off limits.

Like it was so close to her heart, she felt she was betraying it.

"Look...I'm not trying to tell you how you should do your job, but I can tell you how you can help me." Someina perches herself on the edge of her chair, posture rigid. "I just need to know what I can do as the girlfriend of someone with bipolar depression, because I'm completely tapped out. I—"

"Back it up for a second," she cuts in, with a hand up. "I thought when you made this appointment, it was because you wanted to work on your own life. Not someone else's."

She frowns at this, not really seeing the woman's point. "I thought I could multitask."

The blonde shakes her head, wondering if she should be amused or disappointed. "If you yourself are bleeding out, how can you focus on someone else while your own life is at stake? Its like how they say put the oxygen mask on yourself and then on the baby, otherwise you will be no good to them."

"That's...harsh..."

The woman nods, her lips flattening into a grim line. "It is harsh, you're right about that. But honey, you need to work on yourself before you can work with anyone else. That goes for your man, your friends, your daughter...and if you pursue a career in this field, your own clients. The reason I'm coming in as boldly as I am is because I've seen terrible things happen to people I handled with kid gloves. And as a result of them not trying to open up, even a little...some of them found comfort in leaving here early as opposed to pushing through the program. And I don't want to see that happen to you or anyone else."

She nods as she listens, not wanting to ask the specifics of what happened. Though she found it easy to surmise it herself. "What do I do? I feel very overwhelmed at all times." She pauses, rethinking it as she realized how much hope had already been replacing the doubt in these past months. "Well...at least I did for most of my life. Now it comes and goes."

The woman whisks her papers back out of the patent leather briefcase, as she plucks a pen out from behind her ear. "Ok, let's start from the beginning. I believe If someone asks you to think about what has you overwhelmed in the present, it just adds pressure. It can be hard to pull together the right words to catch all your feelings in a matter of sentences when you don't even know. Plus, you can always trace everything back to its root to clear it out properly. Which then eradicates the symptoms you experience."

"I agree."

Miss Briar flashes her a smile. The same warm smile that reminded her of freshly baked cookies and tropical sunshine. A complete 360 from the grimace of reprimand.

"Excellent. Now, I don't expect you to open up to me about anything and everything our first session. You don't need to pour out the sordid details of your first break up, or go so far back as the time you lost your first tooth. Unless...you want to."

This earns a giggle from Someina, bleeding some of the apprehension from her shoulders as color returned to her face.

"But I do want to at least establish what you're here for, and to set goals for you moving forward."

She relaxes her posture slightly, just slightly. "Like?"

"Let's say you were voluntarily mute. I wouldn't set an unrealistic goal for you to be speaking full sentences to strangers by the end of the week, because it would be too big of a leap. Especially if we haven't gotten to the heart of the problem. No, instead, I would start you off with small phrases to yourself when you're alone, or to someone very close to you. We would work towards the goal, and then take it to the next step."

Oh. That made sense, she supposed. But what would she have her do? Call her parents? Invite them over for tea and macaroons?

Never mind that. She said realistic goals, not goals from a parallel universe.

"So, what are you in for?" The older woman asks, reaching across the tray beside her for a protein bar.

"Why does it sound like I'm in jail?"

"Ah, ah," she clicks her tongue, tearing at the blue and white wrapper. "Deflecting is what makes us feel safe, but its a hindrance more than its a help. Even though it feels like it protects us." She nods towards the beverage fridge and the hand-basket of candy. "Do you want something?"

She shakes her head, running her palms down the front of her pants as she tried to be normal. Wondering if the woman would be noting every shift in her body language, or misinterpret the change in her breathing pattern.

"Ok," she says, taking a small bite from the cookies and cream bar, "are you ready to take a trip back to the beginning?"

She blows out a breath, wondering if Haru could hear from down the hall in his own session.

...

"Alright." A man with hulky shoulders and a form too big for his chair, cracks open Haru's file. The fluorescents strike across his head tattooed with marine symbols and numbers. His eyes hungrily scan the pages before he snaps it closed and holds it out to him.

Haru cocks a brow, unsure as to why he would give him something he'd looked through ad nauseam with the fallen, and once esteemed Jin Liada.

"Go on and take it, boy," he urges. "I want you to look and tell me what you see."

"I'm not trying to be a smart aleck, but I thought that was your part?"

The man guffaws, though he doesn't back down and insists upon waving it at him until he takes it. "Its an important part of the process. I wanna know where your head's at. How _you_ see _yourself_."

He begrudgingly takes it, going through the motions of flipping through it even though he had it memorized by heart. "It basically says I'm screwed up in a thousand different ways. It says I suck at loving people and understanding myself or why I do what I do...how I feel. It says I need medication to keep me from going to such a dark place that I drown myself, which makes me feel like a mistake that has to be compensated for and babysat like a time bomb." He closes it softly, his words atomic and ringing louder than his own voice. "That's what it says."

The man shakes his head, reclaiming the file before he fishes out his red pen. He draws a big X over the entire front page, scribbling something he can't quite make out.

Once the man is finished, he spins it back around so that he can read the words as bold as it they were written.

**Work In Progress; Acceptable**

Haru's forehead wrinkles with confusion, having never been as stumped as he was in this moment. And there have been many.

"That right there, son..." he points, looking him dead on. "That is your condition. You are not simply bipolar or depressed or a screw up. You are a work in progress. And being a work in progress is acceptable, so long as you are continually moving towards improvement and not remaining still enough that your diagnosis can catch you."

He finds himself speechless, unable to fathom that the man not only had a counterpoint ready, but a genuine one at that.

"I want to break down the psyche of what makes Hatsuharu tick. But also, what makes your heart beat. I want you to learn how you can function and to ensure your medication is a help and not a detriment to you. My intent with you is simple." He pushes up his sleeves and cracks his knuckles, ready to go to work. "I want to help you feel comfortable in your own life, body, and mind. Sound good to you?"

He nods silently, blown away by his commitment and passion when they'd only just met minutes ago.

"Excellent. Let's start off today with what makes you happy." He beams, revealing a set of fillings and his few remaining natural teeth. "I don't like to focus on all the miserable junk we humans tend to gravitate towards and dwell on. Though it is something we'll need to tackle as well."

"Oh, uh...my daughter, girlfriend, and work make me happy. And now that I'm studying engineering, I feel like life is finally going my way. Even though none of it has been easy."

The bodybuilding therapist nods along, making an, 'ahhh I see' sound.

"Its actually been more stressful than I like to think," he confesses, slowly tasting the words. "I only had my ex and myself to look after for years. But when she came back into my life and told me about our daughter..." he pauses, unsure of how he should continue without sounding ungrateful. "I felt kinda weird about it."

"Mm...how so?"

He shrugs, sitting up from his slouch. "I guess I felt some level of guilt for not being there for either of them. I felt sad at missing out on five years of my daughter's life I'll never get back. I'm still upset, actually."

He hadn't known he felt such bitterness until it started to come out. And when it rained, it poured. He started off with a drizzle of information, though it quickly began to storm.

"Why do you feel upset?" He prompted. "Because you missed out or because you couldn't help?"

"Both, I think...but especially missing out on those years because I missed milestones. Her birth, her first word, her first step, losing her first baby tooth...everything. And I can't go back in time to take it for myself."

"Do you hold it against yourself? Do you think its your fault? Or do you blame your girlfriend?"

He shakes his head too quick for it to be mistaken. "It wasn't either of our faults, her parents kept us separate. But...its still the most difficult pill to swallow that I will never be able to experience that time with her. And that's coming from someone who's most important meal of the day is a pill."

"I see where you're coming from...but can I tell you something? I deal with a lot of different clients, including those that have lost their children to early death or kidnapping. Sometimes, the parents are reunited with the abducted children after several _years_. A decade, even. And they feel as though they've been robbed of their child's early years, too. And you know what I tell them to do?"

"To move on?" He volleys, his tone sharp enough that it sliced through the mood of the conversation. "To give up those years because they can't be made up for completely?"

"Don't mix up moving on with forgetting or ignoring, Hatsuharu." He holds up a heavily inked hand, halting any argument that always followed this statement. "It means that you dust yourself off and live as if you never missed those years at all. The river of time flows on, and you can't fight the current. What you _can_ do is work towards forgiving yourself and the lost time so that you can enjoy whatever you have left. And—"

He steadies eye contact, ensuring that he knew he was being serious. "—And, you need to be mindful of your perception of what you have now. So many people think of it as scraps or leftovers, but that's one of the biggest mistakes you can make in how you see it. Its imperative that you train your mind to be grateful for it, as its a trophy that not many people get to hold onto. I couldn't even tell you how many kidnap stories and absentee parent situations end in sorrow. But, your story can have a better ending. It just means you'll have to work for it a little harder than others."

And _that_ gave him more than enough to think about.

...

"I don't even know what the starting point is, for me."

The woman draws a line through something in her notes, before her brown eyes meet hers. "What would you say the bottom line is for why you're here? Other than for your boyfriend of course."

She rubs her arm, awkwardly. Unable to maintain eye contact. "I...am not on the best footing with my parents. Or—" she winces at what's she about to add, somehow more hurt about the next person "—or my sister...which I guess began the night I conceived."

"The night you became pregnant? Am I hearing that right?"

She nods, playing with her fingers. "Yes, with my daughter."

"Wow...what happened? Did you get into a tiff and stop speaking?"

The thought of what drove them apart sends fire shooting straight to her stomach, an anger she'd laid aside to keep herself from hating her life too much re-surging with a vengeance. "They tossed me aside and said I wasn't their daughter anymore, because they couldn't have their single, teenager pregnant. Their reputation was worth more to them than my life and my child's."

"That must have been hard."

She snorts bitterly, shaking her head as she forces her gaze to the ceiling to fight angry tears.

"Hard is a college entrance exam. Impossible to get over was what they did to me." She throws her hands up, shaking uncontrollably. "They never checked to see if I made it to the states ok. They didn't ask if I lost the child at birth, or made sure I was taken care of beyond shipping me off to my cousin's house in Texas. If I had lost my daughter, would they have taken me back in, then? The thought makes me sick."

"Rightfully so," the woman says, jotting this down. "I know this is all sensitive, but...was the father out of the picture in all of this? Who had your back other than your cousin?"

She uses the collar of her sweater to dab at her eyes, practically rolling in irony. "That's the kicker. He's the boyfriend I'd mentioned. And he was also unaware until some months ago."

"Wait a second," she says, taken aback. "You're telling me that not only is your boyfriend the father of your child...he only just now met her? You went through your entire pregnancy without him, your parents, and your sister?"

She cringed, wanting desperately to stuff down the memories of her entire pregnancy, and the first two years of motherhood. "Yes...my cousin wasn't at the hospital with me because she had to work a double at a local bar, and she was a full time student. She couldn't help me with childcare, which I understood. But it put my life on hold until I found work in Tokyo and relocated."

"So you essentially parented on your own, correct?"

"Yes."

"I don't want to put words in your mouth, but...I'd imagine there was some anger. A lot of anger. But I also would think there was some sadness and resentment. Am I getting warmer?"

"Yeah." A little too warm.

"As a former psychology major, you might already be familiar with the baby blues. But, if you do know of it, then you also know that any new mother experiencing depression that lasts beyond a certain period of time is postpartum and postnatal depression."

She looks back down to her lap, wishing her hair would hide the emotions exploding across her face.

"Miss Fujioka? Did you hear me?"

"...I do know of it. And, I...um..." she squeezes her eyes shut tight, taking a deep breath in. After all these years, she didn't find it easy to admit to her feelings. Because being a mother was supposed to be a joyous time, and there were weeks and months and years that she hated it. A confusing, dark period that she'd all but separated herself from until she came face to face with those forms.

"I feel like a hypocrite," she says instead, her hands trembling and her voice thick with remorse. "Here I am, convincing the father of my child to seek help for his mental disorder...and I've hidden mine from him. Even after all the courage it must have taken for him to open up to me."

"Sweetie, you're not a hypocrite. Just because someone opens up to you does not make them entitled to you sharing your secrets with them, even in a relationship. You don't owe him that...But, I'm sure he'd appreciate it if he knew. And it would bring you closer, and bring you closure over his absence in your lives during that time."

"But it wasn't his fault!"

"You say that, but do you believe it?" She asks, capping her pen. "Do you blame him for not being there with you, even though it wasn't necessarily his choice? Do you blame yourself...?"

A sob lashes through her chest, finding it ringing true in her soul. "I...I don't mean to. Its just that it was so hard! I felt so alone and neglected and forgotten. My family had rebuilt their lives as if I never existed, my cousin was always out or studying so we didn't talk. And Haru..." her voice breaks on his name, bringing her hand up to her mouth. "I needed him there! It wasn't fair that my parents didn't let me have that. It wasn't fair that they didn't let me talk to him before they sent me away.

"He wasn't with me when I was throwing up in the middle of the night. Or when I had to give birth without anyone to hold my hand, to cheer me on and tell me I'm doing great and that I'm beautiful even though I'm not. He wasn't there when she was colicky, and didn't stop crying no matter what I tried and I was too sleep deprived to think straight." She breaks down, barely keeping herself upright as memories she'd suppressed came flooding back. "I was so helpless when my baby was in so much pain, and I-I couldn't do anything. He missed so much and I feel so bad because I should have tried harder. I should have done my best to see him, but I was afraid. So I said nothing and got on the flight my parents booked." She bashes her fists against her head. "I was a cowardly idiot. I deserved to be alone. I deserved to hurt like I did."

"No, no, no," the woman says, moving to kneel in front of her, grabbing her wrists in her hands. "Its not your fault. You reacted out of what others did to you. You were afraid that he'd reject you, or that he would say he didn't want to raise the child. Its understandable, even if it was wrong, Miss Fujioka. But blaming yourself isn't going to reverse your decision or atone for your hurt. You can't keep beating yourself up about it."

But couldn't she? When she could have gotten on antidepressants and done therapy earlier, herself? But she couldn't say anything about it...she just dove face first into psychology classes in hopes of better understanding and finding some other way to self-medicate.

"I should go," Someina says, rubbing furiously at her teary eyes as she stands. "I think this about wraps up our session."

The woman offers her a tender, but reluctant smile. She wasn't sure of how stable the girl was, or if she was harmful to herself or others. It wasn't something she could diagnose just from a few minutes.

"If I could just have a few more minutes of your time, Miss Fujioka, I'd at least like to give you a goal to work on in between sessions."

Someina pauses mid-way to grabbing her purse, chewing on her lip in hesitation.

"I really think I'm ready to leave...my daughter needs to be picked up from ballet." Thirty minutes from now, but she didn't know that. "So if you'll excuse me..."

"Since you mentioned that your boyfriend is unaware of what you were and are dealing with...I think I would like to make that your goal."

She was certain her heart completely fell dead at those words. "What?"

"I said I would like you to make telling him your goal before your next session. I usually would have you scheduled for a couple times a week, but I think you need some breathing room to consider if you want to continue."

"B-but what happened to not owing him that part of myself? I thought I wouldn't have to talk to him about it until I was ready."

She nods. "You're right, you don't have to. But this is important for you as well as for him. If you see a future together, you will need to confront him at some point. Its an important part of recovery, though its up to you."

Someina slings her purse over her shoulder, grabbing the coat she'd shed when she found herself in the hot seat. "And I have until when?"

"Its not an ultimatum, its a goal. I would like you to take the month to broach it with him and have as many conversations as necessary, then come see me after if you decide you need to. Though I would highly recommend that you do." She shrugs. "Everyone, including myself, can benefit from therapy."


	10. Elephant In The Room

**Chapter Ten: Elephant In The Room**

Someina avoided bringing it up for a month. Y'know...the elephant in the room.

Someina held his hand and looked him in the eyes with confidence as fake as a forgery, like everything was copacetic.

There were moments she could have said something. Little sweet spots of conversation that would make for a decent segway to her darkest moments. There were quiet evenings spent in his arms that she squandered, falling asleep instead. Dinners that had natural pauses of space she could have filled with the declaration of her codependance.

But she just kept the focus on his therapy sessions and jete'd over hers.

Of course, her timing couldn't have been normal. No, she brought up her mental scars while they were in the middle of doing laundry. Because nothing says heart to heart like a spin cycle.

"I struggle with depression," Someina blurts, holding for his reaction.

But then it feels like a second too long so she quickly adds, "Post-natal depression..." In case that wasn't clear or anything.

Detergent starts spilling over the measuring cup and onto his hand, causing him to reel back from the sticky purple liquid.

She rushes to grab nearby paper towels and practically throws it at him, even though it was about as useless as a bandaid for a heart attack.

"You...caught me off guard," he says, removing his rings to rinse his hands at the sink I hadn't remembered in my panic. "Can we go sit and talk about this so I can listen like you deserve? Because I don't want to have a serious conversation while cleaning up detergent and emptying a lint trap."

"Right! Sorry..." He uses the crumbled up paper towel then to dry his hands before dunking it in the trash and taking her hand to lead her to the main room. It was mostly quiet while Kaiko was away at soccer. The dishwasher was humming softly as it was nearing the end of it's cycle, and a moon shaped clock on the wall ticked in soothing rhythm of the passing seconds as they landed on his faux leather couch.

He throws his arms around the back and gestures that she come closer with the tilt of his head. As if they were about to kick back with Mai Tai's instead of talk about what she believed to be the worst version of herself

She shakes her head, wringing out her hands. "I need to be right here. Actually..."

She moves to sit on the coffee table in front of him, their knees touching as a gaming magazine poked her in the hip.

"Right here is better. I can do this."

No...no, she can't.

"Take it where you need it to go," he offers, smiling gently. "Only talk if you're ready. It should be on your terms, Som."

She smiles then, tucking her blonding hair behind her ear. Knowing that he still saw her as his - friend, girlfriend - even though she tucked this pain away deep inside of her... knowing he still refuses to let go of their closeness...

It makes her love him.

Whoa, girl...love? One thing at a time.

"I had to tell myself different things just to get through the day. 'If you don't break down tonight, you can have your favorite food.' 'You've worn the same underwear for three days and haven't showered in five, but you can wait one more day and get some extra sleep.' 'This won't last because one day she'll be older and able to take care of herself. Because I don't have it in me.'"

These might sound normal for a new single mother, but it got worse.

"It didn't stop at me prioritizing Kaiko over my appearance, which you know was a big deal considering the family I come from...it became me looking at myself in the mirror and feeling like a stranger was looking back at me. I was wearing her clothes and not washing her hair and crying what little makeup she had off all night. I stopped feeling like a human and more like...an empty, breathless being."

Like she didn't have a soul left because it had died the day she found out she was about to become a teen mother.

Alone.

"And I don't..." She sucks in a breath. "I don't know that I would ever want to be pregnant again."

Those words hang in the room, so loudly it feels like her brain is bursting of aneurysm. She watches as years of processing happens in minutes. The way confusion bunches his eyebrows together, before dissolving into a concerned frown that makes everything seem grim.

His hands find the edge of the couch, squeezing hard enough that his knuckles turn alabaster when his eyes manage to find hers again. "Never? You..." he pauses, unable to speak that reality. "You couldn't...you don't want another one?"

She gets up off the table, folding her arms as she moves towards the fireplace. Unable to sit that close when she felt like Brutus, stabbing him in the back with the truth. As he blows out a long breath, she smooths her hand over the grainy wood of the mantle. And its then that she realizes the lonely strip of space that boasted of nothing but dust and absent memories. There were no photos of his nearest and dearest. Not his parents, his cousins, his girlfriend and child.

It looked like it belonged to someone that was trying to get his groove back.

Not like someone that wanted the big family, the white picket fence, and the chance to grow old together.

"I'm sorry," Someina whispers, yanking her hand back as if touching something sharp. "You deserve someone in your life that can give you more children if that's what you want. Not...not me."

"Hey." He stands, hands raised. "I'm not saying that I want to call it quits because you feel that way. I'm just now hearing about this, so you have to give me a minute."

She fidgets with her blouse, finding the wait insufferable because she didn't want him to leave her. The five years they were apart were a mixture of bad to worse. But something that never died was her fondness of him. And that one night was sewn into her soul with permanent stitches.

"Who knows? Maybe I'll change my mind one day," she tries, though she sounds just as unconvinced as she feels. "One bad experience shouldn't color pregnancy and motherhood for the rest of my life."

"But if its traumatic for you," Haru says, his hand brushing against her elbow as he reaches her at the fireplace, "then I wouldn't ask you to go through it again. I haven't even sat with the thought myself about wanting more little ones."

She sighs, her head dropping to his chest as her arms go around his waist. "I'm just tired of being the problem in our relationship. In every relationship."

If all she did was repel people, then why did she try to keep them in the first place?

"Don't talk like that, Som..." he brushes his hand through her hair, cherishing the way she feels in his arms. It was like being wrapped up in a handmade sweater that was custom fitted just for him. "We're both broken people. And every human seems to start off that way. But I think we can support each other as we're put back together. By God, by therapists...I don't believe that you're a problem. I believe that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

She leans back to face him, being swayed lovingly in his embrace. "You don't hate me for maybe not wanting to be a mom to anyone else?"

"Absolutely not," he answers firmly.

"You're not scared of the depression I grapple with? Even though part of it is related to our daughter?"

"Are you scared of me?" He challenges, echoing familiar self-doubt.

"Absolutely not," she parrots.

"Then why would I fear you?" He smiles, melting away the frost of her emotions with the crack of autumn light.

"You're in this for the long haul, huh?"

He pinches her cheek teasingly, making her laugh for the first time today. "I'm here until you get tired of me."

"Then you'll really be here a long time."

...

"Hey, Haru? Want to try this ice cream I bought?" Someina elbows the fridge closed, setting down sugar-free ice cream, a scooper, and a package of waffle cones. "Its Otter's Paw."

"Yes please," he says, jumping up from the couch and moving so that he's standing behind her. Watching as she begins to scoop a hearty amount into a waffle cone far too big for her tiny hands.

But they were still very much in the honeymoon phase of their relationship. It was his fault for making him so nervous when he stood this close.

He smelled like woodsy, pine aftershave. And as she snuck a peek at him, she went weak in the knees.

Haru was looking mighty fine in his open black button down, silvery chains and necklaces jingling from his collarbone. His fitted jeans really complimented him, pulling the look together so well that she hoped he didn't catch her staring.

He dips his finger into the scoop dripping down her waffle cone before sticking it in his mouth. "Mmm...its so sweet. Is that caramel in there?"

She blushes at the sound he made, nodding. "Yeah. And there's some pecans and coco too. I think I love it almost as much as I love Butter Pecan. Which says a lot."

He notes the pinks of her cheeks, taking the cone she offers him with its three scoops. "What's that look for?"

"Huh?" She whips her head up mid-scoop, the ice cream falling to the granite with a slap. She almost gets whiplash as she swivels back around to assess the mess. "Oh no...that's such a waste!"

He laughs, holding up his free hand. "Its ok, Som. Besides...it doesn't have to be trashed."

Her eyebrows pull together. "What do you mean by that?"

He holds the waffle cone back out to her before he bends at the waist.

And he licks the ice cream right off the counter.

Because why wouldn't he?

"Haru!" She claps a hand over her mouth, scandalized. "That's so unsanitary."

He eyes her from his lower position, the creamy substance sitting on his tongue before he swallows. And now her light blush is a wave of crimson.

"Its no different than licking your fingers after a big mac, Princess."

From anyone else, that name would have come off condescending. But from him it seemed romantic and sweet. And anyway, its not like she had room to care if she actually _was_ being insulted. She couldn't get the image of him licking the ice cream out of her head.

It had been a long time for her.

A really, really, _really_ long time.

"A-anyway." She closes her eyes, hating the way she tripped over her words. "I don't think I'm that hungry anymore. You can have the rest of this if you want."

"Is that right...?"

Her breath freezes in her lungs at the playful, dubious tone to his voice.

Was she really that bad an actress?

The ice cream starts spilling over into a sticky stream on her hand. But she doesn't have time to try and clean it because Haru's hands are suddenly around her waist, hoisting her up onto the part of the island that doesn't have an ice cream mess.

Her eyes widen as he glances down at the ice cream dripping down into her palm, before his gaze flicks back to hers. As if gauging her reaction. But for what? What was there to respond to?

He smiles as he licks the caramel from the palm to the tips of her fingers. She shudders as he runs his tongue across her knuckles before he stands just so that they're eye level again.

"Not hungry?" He inches closer, lips almost grazing hers. "You look like you're starving, Som."

He traces the seam of her lips with his tongue, cold and luscious from the Otter's Paw. And just like the ice cream, she melts as she finally samples it for the first time. His hands a warm contrast to his mouth as they move up her thighs to her backside, causing the skirt of her dress to bunch up around his hands.

His thumbs skim her panty line and she accidentally bites his lip too hard. He pulls back a little and she feels sheepish for the third time in ten minutes.

"Sorry...I'm just clumsy when it comes to all of this. Maybe its been too long."

He shakes his head, a shadow of a smile on his lips. "Its like riding a bicycle. Muscle memory kicks in and you just focus on feeling for it. Actually, its like riding a motorcycle." Her heart free falls as she remembers what it felt like when the bike leaned with her weight, only to be caught by him after suspension in the limbo of uncertainty.

She fixes her dress so that it covers her thighs again, still awkwardly clinging to the ice cream cone. "I really am hungry...for the ice cream. I just feel embarrassed."

"I can see that." He laughs, amused at how cute she looked when she got all pouty. Like a disgruntled fairy in Pixie Hollow or something. "I just don't know why."

She licks the ice cream, three scoops now became two as they melted together. "You just...you made noises when you tried the ice cream. And it made me feel...strange, I guess?"

She sounded like she had no experience when she put it that way.

But it was really just that she wasn't blunt when it came to sex and things of the like.

She wasn't straightforward when it came to asking for what she wanted.

And she didn't have a high 'body count'. Which she thought that was a ridiculous name anyway.

Really, if it hadn't been for the alcohol that night, she wouldn't have been able to work up the nerve.

"Strange?" He echoes, his hands shoved into his pockets. "Mm...nope, you're gonna have to elaborate on that."

She braves a look at him, wondering if she was being too vague.

But there was a mischievous look to him.

Like he wanted to smirk, but didn't.

"Haru..."

"I want to hear it from your pretty, sexy mouth what you're feeling," he says, challenging her. "You said I made noises that made you feel strange. Go on..."

She sighs, her shoulders falling hard with the exertion. "I'm not like you, Haru. I'm not straightforward about emotions and sex. Its not...easy."

He leans forward, hands landing on either side of her on the counter. "I want to help you with that. I'll be honest, though. I'm mostly asking for selfish reasons...but I also want to help you be more open with your sexuality. At least with me."

She chews on her lower lip, finding it so hard to fight against him when he was so genuine. And maybe...just maybe, part of her wanted to know what he would say if she was honest.

What he would do.

She cradles the waffle cone between her two hands, daring herself to look him in his hurricane water eyes.

"It turned me on when you licked the ice cream right off of me. But what got me going more...was when you touched me. I like the way your skin feels on my skin. I like the way ice cream tastes on your tongue. I like...you."

He's breathing hard by the time she finishes, and she wonders if her words were making him feel that good strange too.

He takes the cone from her hand and her mouth drops open at how he just stole it back from her like that.

"Hey! I was eating that."

"I want you...to lay back against the counter. Please."

His voice is tighter, like he's restraining himself.

So even though she didn't know what he was thinking, she can't helap but want to comply. She falls back against the cool granite of the island, her legs dangling off the counter in front of him as his dark eyes ran the length of her body.

In a New York minute, he's taken the remains of the ice cream and paints it up her leg in a quick motion. Causing her skin to break out in chills when he does.

"What are you" her voice stops short when his mouth follows the trail of ice cream. From her shin to her knee to her inner thigh. Her voice hitches when he lays a kiss there, right where the caramel drizzle had been. And on instinct, her hand grabs for his hair as she closes her eyes, scraping her teeth over her lip when he nips her there.

"Oh, Haru..."

He straightens again, only this time when he makes eye contact, he looks like he's ready to love her from the inside out. And in every room that he has the stamina for.

She sits up, scooting forward so that he stands between her legs. Her hands running over the hard ridges of his abs that are visible from his open shirt. She feels the way he tenses, and her heart jumps when his hand lands over hers. As if encouraging her to go lower.

"You're so shy, Someina Grace," he teases, his voice that dark and syrupy one from when she first started staying here. And their hands touched on the door of his bedroom. Both forbidden from being able to enjoy it because of their relationships. But now...

She silences it all when she kisses him hard, pouring her everything into it. Wanting him to know her desire in every intimate way that he could know it.

He secures her legs around his waist before he carries her to his bedroom. And even though no one was home but them, he kicks the door shut before they both land on his queen size mattress. He had just washed his sheets, but for this, he wouldn't mind washing them again. And again.

He pins her hands above her head, trailing kisses down her chin and the delicate swan like curve of her neck. He was in love with the way she arched against him...played with his hair.

She fingers the buttons of his shirt, slipping one loose. "I want more of you...now."

"You can have all of me."

 _Forever,_ he mentally added.

But that felt way too heavy for this moment between them.

He undoes the few buttons left before she delicately pushes the material off his shoulders. And her snowflake blue eyes trace the green loops of his bicep tattoo.

It looked like infinity, except it was interlaced with itself. Like the never ending entity outside of time.

"Want to touch it?" He asks, taking her hand in his, smoothing it over his upper arm. And she feels the muscles flex under her hand, enjoying how strong and sturdy he feels. He seemed unbreakable and hard as an unyielding boulder. But the skin was also supple, though stretched over toughened muscle.

"Its beautiful...but what does it mean?"

His smile is there, but sadness touches the edges. "It can be interpreted as it being an unbreakable chain that represents life. To the good and bad. I'm not trying to go Lion King on you, but its like the circle of life...one thing affects another in a never ending loop of the butterfly effect."

He sits up with one knee pressed to the bed, hands paused on the button of his jeans. "Som...the last time we were here like this, things didn't go so hot. I wasn't...myself. But the last thing I would ever want to do is force you into anything."

He was giving her an out. A chance to douse the heat waving between them when she didn't think she wanted anything but him.

Someina sits up and pulls on the front of his pants, her thumb sliding over the bend in his zipper making him hiss between his teeth at the friction. She looks up at him in a panic of it hurting, but the cloud of arousal in his eyes reassures her.

She pulls the zipper down and frowns as she comes face to face with black material. Somehow both bothered and relieved that underwear was in the way.

He laughs, seeing the frustration sitting pretty on her face. "You're so adorable...but what's crazy is you don't even try to be."

But she didn't want to be thought of as adorable or shy. She wanted those looks he gave her when she was out at dinner with Hatori, like the dress she wore would look best on his floor. Or when they played a dangerous game with candy canes last Christmas, and it made her want to taste his.

She raises up onto her knees, eye level with his chest as he waited patiently for her to make the next move. She watched it rise and fall with the powerful beats that surged through his heart like the spark of an engine. She pulls her hair back with one hand, placing a peck hesitatingly on his pectorals. She leans back to check if he was at all weirded out or about to pull away.

When he doesn't, she grows confident in her ministrations. A soft kiss to his sternum, a brush of her lips over his tight abdomen. The way her mouth teased waistline of his underwear. Just to taste the parts of his skin that she might have once, feeling nostalgic in wanting to try him again.

"Yes..." he breathes out, groaning when she introduces her tongue as she swirls the outside of his navel. Growing excited at how his hips were starting to move as though reaching for her.

"Do you need me, now?" She asks, her voice breathy though her question was bold in its weight. "You look like you do."

His lips part in surprise at how forward his girl was being. Wanting nothing more than to feel her wrapped around him, holding tightly.

In lieu of answering, he hooks his thumbs into the band of his underwear. And he lets it fall all at once to the floor, kicking it out of the way. And the moment she sees him in his fullness, she gasps. Loudly.

"I was able to handle that?" She asks, gesturing at his lower half. "You're so much...bigger than I expected."

He didn't know if he should feel flattered that he seemed big to her, or insulted that she assumed less. But size never mattered as much as performance. And he stood by that.

"Remember that time we took a quiz on being a lover?" He asks, tilting her chin so that she was focusing on his face. "Do you think I can prove it wrong?"

She swallows. "I don't know...I'm not sure I even remember the results. Why are you bringing up all of a sudden?"

He half shrugs. "Dunno. You seem kind of freaked now that you've seen me. I was hoping it would make you laugh."

She bites her lip, shaking her head. "I'm not scared. Not with you. I trust you to take your time with me."

He nods, once. "Of course."

She places steadying hands on his hips, relishing the feel of the divots. "But I also want you to trust me if I tell you I don't want you holding back. Because I might be a petite, little thing that's reserved or whatever. But I do get hot and bothered when it comes to you. And I want you to give me everything you want."

He crashes his lips over hers, bringing her (unfortunately) fully clad body hard against his. Though feeling her against him was just making him need her more.

She breaks the kiss long enough to shove the straps of her dress off her shoulders, making their lips collide once again as he tugged the dress so that it collapsed to her waist. Gliding down her legs shortly after.

She hops as it gets caught around her ankle, both of them laughing like they're teenagers again when she falls back on her butt and he finally pulls it off the rest of the way.

He bites his fist at the sight before him. Taking in the feminine vision that was Someina Grace Fujioka in lavender lingerie. Her bra was lacy with tiny satin bows on the straps. Her underwear matching, as though she planned what was coming, though it wasn't fancy enough for him to actually believe that.

"Its a good thing I'm so type A, that at least I always match." She self consciously adjusts her straps with her thumbs, blushing at how Haru enjoyed every angle. Every single stitch of the fabric that made her look so appetizingly seductive.

"You look _so_ good in purple. But I'd be lying if I didn't say you look best in nude."

She cants her head, mouthing 'nude' to herself when the double entendre clicks. And she rubs her lips together to hide her smile.

He climbs up onto the bed and sits back against his headboard, stacking up pillows behind him. "Someina," he says, causing her to turn her head.

He pats his legs. "Come here..."

She feels herself getting shy all over again, but she crawls towards him anyway. And judging by the way he jostles his leg, he can't wait for her to get there.

She places her hands on either of his shoulders, hesitating about sitting directly in his lap.

He grunts, as if to say go ahead.

_I mean what I say._

She throws one leg over his, then the other until she's spread them over his thighs. And the moment she lowers herself completely against him, they both moan in unison. The material of her underwear so thin it almost felt like there was nothing between them at all.

His hands run over the clasp on her back, his many rings clinking against the metal as he snaps one undone. She sucks in a breath, knowing he was just three more from seeing her.

"You okay?"

She nods.

_Snap._

Two down, two to go.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers, pulling apart another.

One left.

Only the straps were keeping her modesty.

"And you smell so..."

_Snap._

The bra collapses off her shoulders and he presses his face to the middle of her breastbone, inhaling her scent. "You smell like bubble bath and orchids. Your favorite flowers..."

The cold air immediately hits her skin and covers it in chills, but she felt feverish on the inside with how close he was.

She runs her hands up his back, stopping short when she feels the telling ridge of his scar. The deep grooves that rain from his waist to the middle of his back from his motorcycle accident.

She moves her hands up to safety to clutch his shoulder blades, but he sighs against her chest.

"It doesn't hurt. And I want you to be comfortable touching me whenever you feel like it. And that includes my scar, okay?"

She nods wordlessly, partially because she loves how gentle and open he is with her. But also because his lips were drifting further across her chest.

She arches her back as he takes her into his mouth, tearing a pleasured gasp from her lips.

"H-Haru!"

He teases her with his tongue before parting from it, a devious twinkle in his eyes when he looks at her again. "What? I thought you like how I feel on you?"

She tries for a glare, but its hard to look threatening when you're panting and naked.

"Two can play at that game." She presses her lips furiously against his as her hand wanders underneath, gripping him in her hand.

He moans her name against her lips, and she grins at how the tables were turned.

After minutes of back and forth teasing and foreplay, Haru pulls her underwear off to the side before entering her. And they both sigh in relief and impatience at finally being connected again. Feelings running on high as their bodies muscle memory of five years ago flooded in.

She was setting their tempo, being on top. And for once in her life the pressure she was experiencing from a high position felt good. Really good. If only it was as good in daily practice as it was in the bedroom.

"You feel so...good, Someina," his head falls back against the pillows, his fingers digging into her hips.

"I like you calling me Someina for a change," she rushes out, coming back down. "It makes me feel mature and sexy."

He can't think straight enough to ask her more about it. But it was always impossible to think under someone. Especially when you fit each other like the last connecting puzzle piece.

They flip positions so that she's in missionary beneath him, his hands interlacing with hers as he presses them into the bed. It wasn't even about the physical sensations as much as it was the feeling of looking into each others eyes. Trusting that person enough that you let them inside you, seeing every inch of their soul as you were together like this.

Their lips meet as his hips quicken the pace, and she places a hand between them to feel his heart beating beneath her fingertips. Knowing her heart was punching just as hard against her own chest.

When they finish, they both lay in each other's arms. Both breathing hard and sweaty, but blissed out in inexplicable ways.

Haru lazily tosses the blanket over them as they stare up at the ceiling, running after their elusive breath.

"That was so much better than my imagination," Haru says, breaking into the sex induced awe first. "And I've thought about this a lot."

She turns to him, a relaxed - almost sleepy - drunk smile dancing on her lips. "Honestly...so have I."

Haru throws his arm over his forehead, shaking his head in shock. "Maybe I should have bought caramel ice cream sooner."

Someina shoots up at that. "Caramel! I completely forgot I'm supposed to be meeting the girls for brunch." She tosses the blanket aside about to stand, before remembering she's still very much naked. Unlike her seventeen year old self, she wraps herself in Haru's black sheets as opposed to her pink chevron comforter.

How silly that she didn't remember earlier when he first mentioned it.

He was too distracting for her own good.

"Are you able to watch Kaiko for the day? I'm internship hunting, and then I'm meeting the girls for mimosas and brunch...Caramel included." She starts rattling off a list of things she needs to remember, muttering to herself, "I'll just have to shower quick and go."

"Wait, Caramel? What's the special occasion?" He sits up in bed, missing her presence beside him already. "You manage to make up?"

She sighs, gliding her hands down to his shoulders as her black hair falls over her face. "Not exactly...its more of a peace offering. And now that she's done working on that wedding, she's volunteered to stick around longer to plan Tohru and Kyo's."

He snorts. "She's something special..."

For some reason, this sends a nervous pulse through her body. Like the envy she harbored towards her little sister was being picked at. "Everyone says that. You haven't even met her, but you'd probably think she's hotter like everyone else does."

"What?" He turns to try to look at her, but she stops him with the firm grip on his shoulders. "Hotter than you...? Impossible."

She shakes her head, sitting back on her feet. "You just...if you met her, you'd understand. I'm constantly compared to her. She's got the looks, the money, my parents' love and affection. She has her life together, with her business and a string of boys that would jump at a chance to be back in her bed..."

"Som," Haru says, reaching over to tuck her midnight tresses behind her ear. "I don't care if I've never seen her. I've seen you...and I only see you. And I think I just proved how much I enjoy having you in bed."

She ducks her head, covering her grin with her hand.

"You're the woman I dream about, think about...you're the woman I've let get closer to my heart than anyone. It doesn't hurt that you're beautiful, but it not the main thing that makes my heart race."

He grabs her by the waist, swinging her around so that she sat in his lap, making her squeal in surprise and cling to him for dear life. The blanket falling in the mayhem.

"You know what turns me on about you?" He asks, his tone dropping lower as he brushes his lips over her throat. "How sexy you are when you move across a room, like the floor honors your years of ballet with every step you take." He plants a small kiss a little lower, making her shut her eyes. "Or how hot it is when I see you be an amazing mom to our daughter after all these years. Seeing the way her eyes light up around you...looks up to you."

"Haru," she mumbles, blushing deep red at the compliments of his lips and his words.

"Do you really think I would compare you to anyone? I tried to move on from what could have been, but I couldn't. Because..." He emphasizes with a nip "...You're it for me," he punctuates with a lick, soothing every wound he causes.

"Ha-Hatsuharu," she breathes, nuzzling into him as he kisses down her neck with increased fervor.

"Hmm?" He hums, making her suck in her lip as the vibrations tickle the hollow of her throat. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No..." She says before she can think twice. "I mean," she starts, clearing her throat, "N-no?"

He pecks her on the lips, patting her on the butt so she stands. "Alright then. You go on and do your thing and Kaiko and I will see you back here tonight. Yeah?"

She beams, glowing from their love making and his loving words. "Yeah. See you tonight."

After hopping in and out of the shower, she rushes out the door, already a good ten minutes behind.

...

When Someina hears a bell chime as she pushes open its opaque, frosted doors she knows the brunch spot Caramel picked was just like her. Expensive, showy, and had a flair for dramatic entrances.

Her gaze sweeps the room with the awe of a baby deer trying to find its mother in a sea of strangers. And as her eyes landed on a table dead center, she ducked her head as she floated through the room. Dreading that their group would be the center of attention as she strapped her purse to the ornate white chair, taking a seat between Hana and Uo being the last to arrive.

"Wow, chika. I thought I was a late birdie," Caramel opens with a joke, though it didn't seem like it was Someina's laugh she was after. "If you're not careful you'll earn that crown."

Suddenly it didn't seem like champagne and orange juice would be quite enough. But she figured it wasn't exactly socially acceptable to order whiskey this early in the day.

She takes a hearty gulp from her chilled flute glass, inhaling the fresh smells of citrus from the tangerine wedged on its rim. This was gonna be a long brunch if this was how things were already going.

"So, Tohru," Caramel says suddenly, spooking the jumpy brunette as she changes gears. "I decided to call these girls in because I wanted their input as we review wedding details."

"Wedding talk?" Uo asks, slinging her arm over the back of her chair. "I thought this was a casual brunch. It is a Sunday you know?"

"Yes, I'm always aware of what day it is," Caramel says, matter-of-factly. "If I could, I would get a calendar tattooed on my body. But unfortunately I have an image to maintain. That's what my mother always tells me."

Someina snorts, but hides it behind another sip of her Mimosa.

"I fail to understand why we are involved," Hana chimes in, picking a flaky, buttery croissant from the center of the table. "Not that I mind discussing my Tohru's wedding. But this brunch reads more like a strategy meeting."

Caramel nods, rummaging through a Prada bag for some materials. "Exactly. You ladies are the wedding party are you not?"

We exchange looks before agreeing, to which my sister smiles like she's on a world stage being told she's the next pageant queen.

"So I need your help to get all this information down." Caramel sets notebooks, planners, pens, three different phones, and several catalogs out on the table. And without skipping a beat, she slips on elegant readers as she runs through a checklist. "I need to confirm locations for both the wedding, the wedding shower, and the bachelorette party."

"Are three parties really necessary?" Tohru asks, running a finger absently around her glass' rim.

"Three parties? Ha! You left out the reception and the rehearsal dinner," Caramel corrects, looking at her over her rectangular frames. "We also need to take care of the guest list, invitations, catering, hair, MUA, dress, shoes, accessories, open bar or closed bar, dinnerware, centerpieces, music selection, table cloth..."

"Cara," Someina jumps in, sensing Tohru's growing panic. "This all sounds very overwhelming just being listed off at once."

She shakes her head. "But I'm not even close to being finished. There's also party favors, seating arrangements, picking the rings, and don't even get me started on booking your honeymoon."

Before I can argue further, she throws a hand up. "Tohru hired me because she knows I'm not just very good at what I do. I excel at it. And that's quoting the Wedding Whims magazine article from last year."

Tohru slumps back against her seat, looking paler than when Someina first sat down.

"Don't worry, hon. We'll get through this," Someina says, leaning around Uo to rub her arm. "We'll be with you every step of the way. And you can delegate certain tasks to your bridesmaids and Maid of Honor.

Caramel gasps. "That's right! You need to settle on your Maid of Honor. I need a name by the end of the week. This will help us progress at a much faster pace."

"I agree," Hana says, dabbing at her lips with a napkin. "Whomever you choose, they will lift a lot of the workload off of your shoulders. Especially if you choose a grand ceremony over an intimate one."

"I love you, but count me out of that role," Uo says. "Things at work are only getting busier as we approach Summer and everyone wants to unload their bratty children on us. I'm more than willing to knock some heads around if the other two need some encouraging."

"I don't know..." Someina starts, considering the conversation she just had with Haru. "Between my family, finding a new internship, and therapy...I can't overextend myself by assuming such a major role. I think someone who can devote the love and attention should do it."

"Aww, you're in therapy," Caramel coos, folding her hands together. "Good for you."

Someina questions her authenticity, which she picks up on and adds, "No...seriously. That's great news. You could use the help to get you through everything."

She's about to ask her to expound upon that, but Tohru looks to Hana and asks, "Hana...would you like to be my Maid of Honor? The decision is yours to make, but it would be a huge help!"

Saki smiles, placing her hand over Tohru's. "I would love to."

"Fanatastique!" Caramel claps her hands together. "One down and a million more to go."

...

As Haru walked the aisles of the grocery store, he could feel the stares of middle aged and even younger females watching his every move as he pushed his cart along. Ever since he and Som made it official, women found him irresistible. He felt like a celebrity on the verge of getting mobbed at every turn.

Maybe he should start investing in wigs and sunglasses. An ugly mask would do.

He tries to shove it to the back of his mind, scrolling through text messages for the list of things needed for Kaiko's sleepover.

_Flashlights, check._

_Batteries for the flashlights, check._

_Movie popcorn, check._

_Dr Pepper and Coke (in a can), double check._

_Candy?_

But what kind? Someina must have gotten busy and forgot to be specific.

Kaiko didn't have any allergies to dyes, nuts, or chocolate so it wouldn't be a big deal if he picked wrong. But based on their mutual dislike of Granny Smith apples, he would avoid anything sour for her.

He grabs sour skittles for Daisy, because it fit her personality to a T. Though so did the salt water taffy.

He picks M&Ms for Rain and settles on Peachy O's and Starbursts for his daughter.

As he tosses his findings in the cart, he starts to push forward before he yanks it to a stop at the sight of a woman crouched in front of him. She's eyeing the rack of black licorice with a phone tucked between her ear and shoulder. Though she wasn't talking loud enough that he could pick up the conversation.

"Rin?"

She startles, her brown eyes flying up to find why that voice was so familiar. Why it reached into the bottom of her soul the way it did.

She hurries to stand, taking in her ex-boyfriend for the first time in months.

"Are you there? Hello?" A voice breaks in on the line, shaking Rin out of her stupor.

"Yeah, I'll call you back." She tucks her newly short hair behind her ear, her voice taking on a soft tone. "I'll see you at home. Bye."

She hangs up and shoves her phone into her purse, her smile dipping as she comes face to face with Haru again.

"Your hair," he breathes, almost reaching out to run his fingers through it. "I remember you saying you would never cut it."

She puts her arm behind her, pinching the back of her top between her fingers. "That's because you liked it. I didn't want any reminders of our relationship. Besides, the guy I'm with is into it."

Haru shoves his hands into his pockets, swallowing hard at that. "You're with someone else? Wow...that's great."

He felt like the king of jerks with how insincere he was being. He couldn't have his cake and eat it too. Knowing that Rin had moved on should have made him excited for her, given him proper closure. He shouldn't want her to spend the rest of her life hurting for him.

So...why was this so painful?

She sidesteps a mom making her way down the aisle with a toddler in her shopping cart, before grabbing the bag of licorice. "Its casual but at least I moved on. I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life broken over what happened."

His breath pauses, wondering if she could see right through his thoughts.

She takes some gummy worms and marshmallows off the rack before turning on her heel, prepared to leave. "How is your daughter...? Is she happy?"

His brows pull together. "Yeah, she's doing well. She's having a sleepover tonight with two of her friends."

Rin laughs, a cross between bitter and ironic. "I always knew you'd make a great dad...I just thought the first child you had would be our own." She holds herself in a way that makes him feel terrible. Like she had knife wounds in her back that he put there, and she was trying to keep them from being reopened.

"I'll see you around...or maybe, I won't." She shrugs, a faint smile touching lips he'd kissed thousands of times. "Goodbye...Haru..."

He stands silently as he watches her leave, old habits trying to rise up in him to chase her and console her. But it was over. He had his love and she probably had hers.

"Goodbye, Rin."

...

Someina pours the freshly popped buttery popcorn into the biggest bowl Haru had. And she shakes it up to really send the strong, salty aroma drifting through the house where the girls were playing with their dolls.

Daisy was very particular about not eating the popcorn unless it was low in sodium, butter-free, and low calories. It was awful the way that girl was so conscious of her body and weight at such a young age. But the girl's vain mother was to blame for that.

"Smells good," Haru says, swinging the fridge open and bending in search of a drink. "I couldn't find a veggie platter, but I did grab the cuban sandwiches and hummus."

Someina purses her lips, unsure of what it was about him that seemed so...different.

Ever since he got back from the store he seemed like he was in a foul mood. Its only now that he's moved from bad to just...weird. And she wasn't sure if she should ask because he was so insecure about his emotions as it was.

And even worse...part of her was screaming that his strange behavior was the result of the afternoon delight of yesterday.

Maybe it was just her imagination.

"Haru?"

He fishes out a can of Asashi and kicks the door closed as he pops the tab. "Yeah? What's up?"

Someina leans over the counter, hugging the bowl to her chest as she tries to find a tactful approach. "Did something happen at the store today? Or are you having trouble with school or something?"

The can pauses mid-way to his lips, before he pulls it away to look her in the eye. Because why would she ask unless he did something to give away what happened? Was he that obvious?

He takes a pull of the beer and leans back against the fridge, crossing one leg calmly over the other. "I ran into Rin..." He shrugs, trying again for nonchalance. "We caught up for a little bit before going our separate ways."

Someina feels her heart drop several floors, practically hearing it whistle as it sailed down.

She hadn't thought about what they would do if Hatori or Rin ever reappeared. But now that it finally happened, she didn't know how she should feel about it. Especially if they didn't...

Her eyes widen at the thought that hits her.

They didn't kiss, did they?

Or...was he thinking about getting back with her?

"What are you thinking?" He asks, passing the aluminum back and forth between his hands. "You look like you've witnessed a horrible accident."

"Um..." she forces her eyes down to the bowl, blinking quickly. "The popcorn's getting cold. I should get it to them."

"Som—"

But she's already turned the corner to Kaiko's bedroom, deciding to shelve that conversation for later.

"Thanks, mommy!" Kaiko squeals as she sets the bowl down at her writing desk. Watching as she and Rain, the friend she made on her very first day, attack the popcorn like it was feeding time in a shark tank. The snapping piranha is busy scrolling through Instagram on her phone. Like any abnormal six year old would.

"This is the best, Miss Fujioka," Rain says, her voice soft as a spring drizzle. Her square frames slide down her nose and she pushes them right back up. "Are we gonna play some Just Dance, next?"

Someina smiles warmly.

She liked this one.

"If that's what you want." She turns to Kaiko, wanting to laugh at the way she was licking her shiny fingers. "Its your party Kaiko-cake, so you get to decide."

"Ugh!" Daisy rolls her eyes, tapping angrily at her screen. "This guy from Australia messaged me. He keeps liking all my posts and sending me icky messages. But he's so ugly!"

"Huh? Let me see." Kaiko bounces over to look over her shoulder, but Daisy snatches it out of sight.

"No way! Why don't you go play your baby game and eat your fattening popcorn?"

Someina watches in shock as Kaiko dejectedly migrates back to Rain, going completely silent at the girl's reprimand.

She'd put up with the girl's attitude time and time again because she was Kaiko's friend.

But really, she isn't a friend at all.

She's nothing but a bully. And no one would treat her daughter like that.

No matter who they were.

Someina fishes her phone out of the pocket of her jean skirt and starts dialing. The beeps causing everyone to look in her direction.

"Who are you calling?" Daisy asks, fear creeping into her tone.

She presses the phone to her ear, tapping her foot as she waits three rings for the answer.

"Hello, this is Fujioka Someina. Yes...your daughter is with me."

She pauses to allow the woman on the other line to complain about her interrupting her facial before she cuts her off. "Your daughter has not only been disrespectful to Kaiko's father and I, but she has been putting my daughter down constantly. And I think its time that you pick her up."

Rain brings her hand up to her mouth, muttering, "Oh snap..."

Daisy springs up, clutching her own phone in a shaking little fist.

"I can't believe you're telling on me!" She screeches, stamping her feet. "Mommy won't care. She lets me do whatever I want."

Someina spares her a look, wearing a mask of indifference. "You may excuse your daughter's bratty behavior but I will not tolerate it. I want her out of my house as soon as possible. And if you're too busy to pick her up, then I suggest you arrange for your husband to be available at home for me to drop her off."

She listens again, jumping in with an occasional 'uh-huh' or a noise of disapproval. "Excellent. I will get her home within the next ten or fifteen minutes and I will be waiting on that official apology. Have a wonderful evening."

She hangs up, waving a hand forward. "Come on, Daisy. I'm taking you home."

"No!" She hollers, crumpling to the floor and kicking her feet. She smacks her fists against the carpet over and over. "You can't make me! I don't want to go home! I don't want to go!"

"What is happening?" Haru asks, stepping in just in time for Daisy's tantrum. "What is she dissatisfied with now?"

"She's upset that I'm taking her home. I've had it with her nasty attitude and her bullying our daughter."

Haru grips the doorknob, his eyes flashing angrily. "Bullying?"

"Daddy, please," Kaiko pleads, throwing her arms around her waist. "Daisy makes me mad. And she makes me sad sometimes. But she has no fun at her house. So can she stay with us for the night? If she's good from now on?"

Daisy swipes at her tears, scrambling to her feet. "I'll be a good girl! Just please let me stay at the party." She rubs her eyes as another wave of sobs wrack her body. "Please."

Someina and Haru exchange a glance and he grunts, showing he would go along with whatever she decided.

She stoops down to Kaiko's level, taking her hand. "Are you sure, Kaiko? Its really no problem."

"I'm sure, mama. I want Daisy to stay. But...she has to play Just Dance and eat popcorn with us. And anything else Rain and I want to do."

"Well Daisy? Which way is it?" Someina asks, her hand poised to make a call back to her mother.

She thinks it over with a pout, a lone tear sliding down her cheek. "Alright...I'll play the dumb game."

Someina nods once, calling the most recent number in her call history. "Then its settled."

...

Haru had been extremely busy recently what with therapy, starting engineering school, and being shouldered with extra shifts at the garage since Yuki's position had yet to be filled. It made for a convenient excuse to put off talking to him about what went on at the store the night of the slumber party. And really, she was scared. Because she knew what a major part of Haru's heart Rin occupied in the past. And she didn't want to entertain the idea of him having any lingering feelings or regrets.

Especially when they just renewed a soul tie that had already existed between them. One that made the idea of him leaving her or growing cold that much more daunting than ever before.

But she would.

She would talk to him...

At some point.

Even though he'd progressively developed darker eye circles from repeated sleep deprivation, he was still trying his best to be present. He would read Kaiko to sleep, before studying or going to work. And he would pre-prepare meals for them just to keep up with things. But as he walked through the front door tonight, it was if a distant stranger had appeared instead. Not the same dedicated, loving father and boyfriend that did all those things.

No...this was like night and day.

Someina had been stretched out on the couch with a novel she'd bought on her recent book haul a couple days ago. It was a mystery blended with romance. And it was the perfect distraction from her worries. Her eyes were glued to the page as a debonair hero whisked off his elegant bride when a hand grabbed the top of the book and lifted it out of her hands.

What the—

She looks up, watching as Haru lays it across the nearby end table, his dark eyes meeting hers. And as she looks at him, immediately, her body reacts. He was different in a way that she couldn't quite place, though it seemed the rest of her had some ideas.

"Miss me, sweetheart?" He asks, his voice low and smooth like silk. "We meet again."

That voice.

That tone...

_"Are you trying to get me in trouble with your parents?"_

_She bites down on her lip, only to have him draw it back out with his thumb._

_"I didn't say I didn't like it."_

"What are you talking about? Is this some kind of...joke?"

He snorts, moving around the couch to plop down beside her, kicking his boots up on the coffee table in front of them. "You really did forget, huh? Even though I had you first."

Forget what?! Would he stop playing with her and get to the point?

"Haru... _please_."

He sucks in through his teeth, shaking his head. "Man its still hot when you beg. That idiot doesn't know anything. How to please you...how to treat you." He rolls his eyes, before his gaze clings to hers. "It took him way too long to get you back in bed."

"I don't understand."

With an aggravated sigh he elaborates. "I'm a side effect of childhood trauma." He pauses for effect. Letting that fill the space as if that was all the introduction she could need. "Which you should be able to appreciate, being a shrink. I'm kept hidden when he takes those stupid pills, and I don't get to have my fun. He enjoys the chaos just like I do. But he buries it because he thinks he'll scare you if he doesn't."

What did it mean, then?

If Haru was acting like this did he skip his meds?

Is this an expression of bipolar disorder or a side effect of not sleeping much for several days?

"Haru," she tries, very delicately. "Why are you acting like this? Help me understand because I'm really, really confused right now."

He runs a gloved hand through his tossed and tousled hair. "He's been so exhausted and so busy he forgot his medicine twice and its been a headache. I'm electric with how much energy and thoughts are coming at once. Though its not as bad because I'm coming down a bit from an episode."

She blows out a long breath and wonders if there was someone she should call about this.

Her therapist gave her a number if she ever had a crisis on her hands.

But this wasn't one.

...She didn't think.

"What's on that beautiful mind of yours?" He asks, using his thumb to tilt her head towards him. "You always think too hard and feel too little." His gaze drops to her form-fitting nightgown. And the way he bites his lip makes her feel like she'd dressed scandalously.

Like she was in that perfect purple lingerie.

His hands smooth over her knees, parting them.

"That's what I wanted to show you five years ago." He leans in and brushes his lips over the corner of her mouth, his palm running the length of her thigh as her eyes fell shut. "How to let go..."

He sucks her ear lobe between his teeth, loving the way she shivers against him.

Making the sophisticated and sweet Someina come undone only for him.

"Its so much better when I'm at the wheel isn't it, baby? The sex is better too...less tame."

"Haru...you're tired. You need to" Her words cut off with a moan that she tries to muffle as she shoves her face into his shoulder. Enjoying the way his thumb teased her inner thigh and skimmed the line of her underwear.

"I want you more than I want sleep, sweet thing. And by the sound of it...you want me too."

She throws her head back against the couch and he moves to the floor in front of her. His hands parting her thighs so that they wrapped tightly around his waist. She stares down at him hazily as he captures her lips between his. Kissing her with a force that made her forget her own name.

All that mattered was his right now.

"H-Haru," she breathes out between sensual kiss after kiss. But it only stirs him more because his name on her lips turned him on like nothing else. She worked like an unyielding aphrodisiac.

"Remember me?" He asks, thrusting his hips forward in a teasing motion. "Remember that I said I like to earn my moans instead of rushing them?" He laughs like its the most outrageous concept.

That was the version of him that wanted to make love.

But that wasn't what you called what he liked to do.

"I..." She throws a hand up between them, pushing him back lightly to open up some space. "I can't, Haru."

He sits back on his heels, scowling. "That's not what you said the other day, cutie. Come on...what, you'll only do me if I'm sober and medicate? Is that it?"

She breathes out forcefully and straightens her nightgown, knowing her face was badly flushed by now. "That's not it and you know it."

"Then what? What's the problem?" His hands land right back on her knees, though he doesn't touch her any further. "I'm the classic bipolar, right? Unbalanced sexual urges and anger problems. A hyper insomniac. You probably think I only want to sleep with you because I'm like this."

She shakes her head. "No...I know you're attracted to me. Just like how I am with you. But now is the wrong time to act on those feelings. And its not because you got off your meds. But its because its unhealthy for you to be exhausted for this long and I need us to have a conversation. Without everything else in between."

He turns and falls back between her knees, resting his head against the couch cushion in the middle. The exhaustion that ringed his eyes seemed almost tangible to him at this point as his vision blurred slightly. "I'm so...so tired, Som."

"I know..." she runs a comforting hand through his hair, making him close his eyes as it soothed him. "I know, Haru."

"I don't think I can sleep. My mind is racing..." He takes her other hand, drawing it to his mouth and just letting it rest there. "I'll take the medicine in the morning. But I need something right now. It feels like I'm tied to a ball and chain and am sinking to the bottom of an endless ocean."

"You can borrow some melatonin from my medicine cabinet," she whispers, still brushing her hand through his unruly mane. "Other sleep aids might do more harm than good with how your brain works. But the best thing is for you take 10mg and lay somewhere quiet and try to focus your breathing...calm your mind down a little bit."

"Would a warm bath help?"

She smiles softly, leaning forward to kiss the top of his head. "Its worth a try. I'll go run the water and add some lavender mineral oil. It always helps me when I can't sleep."

He nods, laying a peck on her hand. "Thank you."

...

When Someina walks back into therapy for the first time in almost two months, she feels like new.

Instead of dying her hair back, she got the color touched up and chopped it so that it was in an asymmetrical bob. She wasn't sure how she felt about it yet. But the idea of getting a helix piercing that her new haircut could show off made her settle into her choice with a smile.

She finally found a new clinic to intern under and would be starting work as early as the following Monday. A woman who'd been a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist for over thirty years had an opening once one of her assistants went on maternity leave. And it would be a three month gig with the potential to become full time.

She and Haru agreed to scheduling their appointments on separate days, though they were fine sharing about some sessions and keeping others to themselves. It was healthy and it worked for them to have some openness and some boundaries.

Her therapist was just as excited for her, if not more so.

"This sounds promising! You're making beautiful progress."

Someina nods with enthusiasm, feeling a weight coming off her shoulders in more ways than one. "I feel that way too. Its like my life has been in a fog for a long time. And I'm finally climbing high enough that I can see over it, breathe in the air. Remember there's a sky..."

"Yes, its natural to experience some level of a dissociative episode when suffering depression, anxiety, PTSD...I'm glad that you're beginning to reach a breakthrough." Miss Briar jots this down. "Do you have any techniques to snap yourself out of these moments?"

Someina takes a bite out a strawberry, having felt comfortable enough to indulge in a bowl of fruit she'd put out for her. "No, actually...would it be similar to breaking out of a panic attack? To ground me in moments of depersonalization?"

"You're spot on. You see...there are times when we may be so immersed in fantasy, like in the cases of maladaptive daydreaming, that we need something to anchor us back in reality. It can be a sound, a word, a visual. It can even be a texture or an object that can clear that fog you mentioned." Miss Briar reaches below her chair for a fuzzy hot pink pillow before passing it off to Someina. "Tell me how that feels to you."

She runs her fingers through its tufts, reminding her distinctly of dog fur. Or, maybe, something you'd find in a craft store.

"I think its really soft...and almost hairy."

She nods. "Some clients have a childhood blanket or stuffed animal. Feeling the fabric or the fur can bring them comfort because its often their emotional support item from their adolescence. Others may hold onto a t-shirt that holds a smell to remind them of a loved one in their present. Different things work for different people."

"That's so interesting," Someina muses, hugging the pillow to herself. "Maybe that would be good for me."

Miss Briar smiles, mischievously. "I was hoping you would say that, because that my dear is going to be your next homework assignment."

"Ugh," she mock groans. "I thought I graduated college to be free of homework. Now you're sucking me right back in."

"It shouldn't be too difficult, I hope," she says with a laugh. "But I want you to take time before our next session to find your item of choice. A painting, a song, a cologne, a bracelet, a pillow...whatever you think will be a strong enough tether to your present whenever you enter into a dissociative episode."

"To remind me to come back?"

"To remind you that you're not still in that point of trauma. That it is over and that you're here." She closes her notebook and leans forward, clasping her hands. "Something people often do is look backwards or forwards. They rarely look right in front of them. So they miss out on what's happening in the now. Their life completely rolls on like a movie. Sometimes they glance up, barely paying attention."

Someina nods in agreement, fidgeting with the pillow in her lap.

"I got one hard conversation out of the way with him. But..." She swallows a sigh, not wanting to sound defeatist in front of a woman that had positivity posters plastered on several walls of her office.

She looks to her right, reading a greyscale poster with white calligraphy about being forthcoming.

_'Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect if from cheap people.'_

"But..." Miss Briar presses, peeling back a pistachio from a huge black bag beside her. "Don't leave me hanging, dear. Cliffhangers are truly the bane of my existence."

"The thing is that Haru and I were both in committed relationships before we were back in each other's lives. Well, the other half of his relationship encountered him at the store recently."

"Ooh." She purses her lips, like she felt the sting of that one. "How'd it go? Did you have an uncomfortable confrontation with his ex?"

"That's just it. I didn't see them together. So I don't know if it stayed strictly platonic, or if he dipped her like a sailor a planted a kiss on her that would make any woman jealous. I don't—"

"—know," Miss Briar finishes, peering down at her with a severe look on her face. "You don't know, hon. You can't make assumptions about things you don't see with your own two eyes. And even then, your perception can be manipulated by personal bias."

That much she did know.

Eyewitness testimonies were flawed for that very same reason. Practically inadmissible in court cases because of how inaccurate they could be.

"Did he tell you what happened?"

She shakes her head, hugging the pillow to her chest. "No..."

"Are you planning to ask him at least?"

Some things you're better off not knowing.

At least then, you can pretend the best scenario is the thing that happened. Rather than brave the reality that might be the ugly, bitter opposite.

"Y'know, I have a lot of quotes everywhere. They're all using different words but are ultimately saying the same thing; honesty is the best policy. But I also believe that honesty is the highest form of intimacy. Its something that everyone should have, but it is also because the truth should bring you closer together."

It can.

It even has...

But sometimes it only serves to push you further apart.

...

_May_

Before she had a free moment to ask him anything, something else stood between them.

And that something was taunting her from the bathroom counter, a very obvious pink and white stick.

This wasn't her first period scare.

Even before Kaiko, she experienced irregular periods every now and then. Sometimes she'd miss it by an entire month. And others by a week. But it was fast approaching two months since her last one. And she was starting to panic.

Especially when she and Haru weren't exactly careful about it.

Even if they remembered the condom, it could have been ripped like it had the first time when he opened it with his teeth. And it would have still landed them here all the same.

She felt so, so stupid for being in such a hurry that day.

For being so busy.

For relying on his pull out game when it was never a perfect method.

She should have checked then.

Her hands shake as she sits on the closed toilet. Elbows digging into her thighs and her fists propping up her chin as she stares blankly at the fuzzy red rug beneath her feet. She tries to focus on the sensation of the carpet. Much like her therapist taught her about grounding herself.

Maybe this rug would be her item of choice, the answer to her therapy homework.

As her timer ticks down the seconds she runs her feet over the rug, feeling the threads between her toes as she tries to think about nothing at all. Not her career, not the money, not the pregnancy test, not the potential baby...

She groans as she leans forward, holding her head.

She was just telling Haru that she didn't know if she could ever do it again.

She loved being Kaiko's mom. But she hated what it took to become that.

Her phone releases a loud chime like an exhale and she jumps, standing up with her legs trembling like her knees were trying to drum a beat against each other.

As she grips the bathroom counter, she hangs her head with her eyes squeezed shut. Fear going for broke through her entire body as she swallows back a surge of nausea.

Her icy blue eyes slowly, slowly drift open and they find themselves in the mirror.

She was seventeen again, facing her past self even though this was so completely different.

Just like she did five years ago...she looks at the pink and white stick.

And like that girl, she collapses to the floor and folds her body into a fetal position. Trying to comfort herself because no one else could be there for her as she became a mother for the second time.

* * *

**I want to take this moment to thank you all who still support this story to this day! Its been a year and some change since the last chapter, but I do hope this comes as a lovely reintroduction to this story. And that its everything you could want.**

**I admit.**

**This used to be a story I struggled to write. It was seemed like it was too much to tackle and, at times, a chore. But as I got deeper into the story and learned the characters on new levels...the more immersed I became in writing this. And now, its one of my all time favorites.**

**Thank you for enjoying it in its infancy stages.**

**Thank you for enjoying it in its impromptu hiatuses.**

**And thank you for your patience in between chapters.**

**I'll see you guys for the next one! ^_^**


	11. Piece Of Cake

**Chapter Eleven: Piece Of Cake**

"So, I finally meet the groom," Caramel sing songs, extending a hand for Kyo to shake. "Please sit, sit, sit. We have much to discuss."

Kyo narrows his eyes, suspicious about it all. The woman smelled like money and crazy. And he had enough experience with both to know it stunk.

As if sensing Kyo's blooming irritation, Tohru rubs his back, choosing to steer the conversation back her way. "Hana is overseeing some of the wedding details across town right now. She's picking out the table settings and booking the hotel we'll need for the honeymoon."

Caramel nods like a war general, complete with a gruff 'mm-hmm.'

"Excellent. And with Hatsuharu appointed as the best man - and brainstorming the bachelor party - we can now move into the best part of wedding planning. Cake tasting!"

Kyo sighs but he can't say he's mad at the thought of trying a bunch of sweets all day. "You're really perky, ya know that?"

Caramel flashes him a mega watt smile that was bright enough to blind an Eagle from a distance. "Sure am!" She taps a French manicured finger against her forehead. "And the Botox keeps the wrinkles at bay considering how much of a day I spend smiling. Now..."

She motions a man dressed in a cook outfit waiting in the wings forward. He pushes in a massive cart with three shelves of various cakes in varying layers.

Everything from German Chocolate to Red Velvet; Bavarian Creme to Butter Creme; Angel to Matcha.

The cook bows before taking his leave with a quick 'enjoy' tossed over his strong shoulders. Though his uniform had long sleeves, Caramel knew that a tattoo of koi fish in green ink stained the skin of those muscular shoulders.

"Thank you, darling! I'll get the round the next time we go out," Caramel calls after him, before pivoting her attention back to her clients. "So before we get started I want to know just how many tiers you want this cake to have. I recommend a minimum of three and no more than five, but my goal is simply a happy bride and groom. So its up to you to ignore my input."

Well that wasn't passive aggressive at all.

"Hmm..." Tohru moves a hand to Kyo's forearm. He softens immediately. "What do you think, Kyo? I'm happy with anything."

He smiles fondly. "I know you are." He jerks his chin up at Caramel. "Three is good. And I'll try all the cakes except coconut. I'd rather choke."

Caramel scratches something out in her overstuffed notebook of information on every wedding she planned this year. "Gotcha. Well...dig in! As we say over in Europe, Bon Appetit!"

"Sorry I'm late," Haru says, powerwalking until he reaches their table at the back of the restaurant. The swish of his pants louder than the din of the bistro. "I got held up at the garage and had to drop Kaiko off at soccer before getting here. And it was our first time trying out the side car."

Caramel's brown eyes blink at the speed of a jet, her brain smoking as she tries to process it all. "Kaiko? Hatsuharu? Wait a minute..." She turns now to fully face him, her long ruffled sleeve flopping against her wrist as she slaps her head. "You're Someina's Haru?"

He nods slowly, still trying to catch his breath. "Yes...who are you to Som?"

"Ohmigosh you call her Som?" She squeals. "That is so cute I could explode! I'm her little sis Caramel, by the way. But do call me Cara."

Recognition lights up his steely gaze, on guard in the presence of the infamous Caramel. She didn't exactly receive a glowing report from Someina when they talked on the beach.

But she was right about her being beautiful. Her brunette blowout complimented her soft brown eyes. She had the body type that men wrote about in songs of heartbreak and warning to the next guy that would come her way.

_Dangerous. Lethal. Tricky._

Her looks didn't carry any weight with him because it was all Someina all the time. It was only recently that he started to wonder if his heart was wandering when Rin showed back up.

"We were just about to try some cakes. So you picked a good day to help out. I hope you brought your appetite because we've got a lot to tuck into!"

Haru tosses his bag at his feet as he reluctantly occupies the only seat left at the table. Right beside Someina's sister. "Are you guys planning to provide any alternatives?" He throws this to Kyo. "Som's a diabetic, remember?"

Caramel jumps in cooing, "Awww... what a catch you are! You're so thoughtful for bringing that up." She shakes her head and expels a long and dreamy sigh. "I wish there was a guy like you out there that I could snatch up for myself."

Haru plays with a plastic sampling fork and tries to ignore that she even spoke. "So?" He prompts Kyo, a little on edge lately and grumpy because of how stressful life had become. Only made worse by Caramel's not-so subtle flirting.

"Yes, actually," Tohru answers for him with a kind smile. "My bakery can provide sweets that are more savory like coffee cake with lower grams of sugar. Someina told me in advance what she could and couldn't have."

He smiles back at her, content with her answer. He forgot the ever considerate Tohru would look out for her friend's interests and health just as much as he would.

"Yadda, yadda..." Kyo grumbles, shoving his fork into a plateful of Oreo Cheesecake. "I'm hungry."

Haru rolls his eyes but he can't lose his smile. Finally relaxing in his seat as he samples a slice of rich Chocolate Ganache that melts in his mouth like butter.

Or like Otter's Paw, he remembers mischievously.

 **'Oh that's pathetic _,_ '** Dark Haru berates him. **'Your thoughts bore me. Even though I cause trouble, at least I make it entertaining.'**

He scoffs, not the least bit ruffled.

' _You're locked away in my head right where you belong.'_

"Hellooo?" Caramel rips him out of this thoughts as she waves her hand in front of his face. "I was asking what you think of the Ganache?"

He blinks dumbly. "Its...pretty good. But I don't get the final say so—"

"We can always use an objective sounding board." She giggles and he startles at how similar it sounds to Someina's. Bright and twinkly like wind chimes. "You've got some cake all over. Here, let me get it."

She reaches a thumb out and begins swiping at the corner of his lips. At first he freezes up in shock that she was touching him, and so close to his mouth. But as his brain comes back online he manages to swat her hand away and gets to his feet.

"I actually need to go back home and work on a project. So if you guys are good today—"

"Yeah, get out of here," Kyo says with a mouthful of the lemon and vanilla cake. "I'll text you if I need anything else."

Haru wastes no time excusing himself from Tohru before snatching his bag back up and hightailing it out of there like someone pulled a fire alarm. It was technically true that he needed to get back home to his project, but he really just wanted to get away from Caramel. She seemed like the touchy feely type with people she took a special interest in. And he wanted nothing to do with any pass she might have just made at him.

Caramel looks down at the dark brown crumbs on her thumb before she licks it clean. He was definitely her type, but completely off limits. If only that didn't make him even sexier...

...

Someina was freshly showered and spritzed in her perfume that she only used for special days like this one—her first day at her new internship.

Thankfully, there were laws in place that now protected expecting mothers from being fired and discriminated against for their condition. Because even though this could end at being just an internship, it could also turn into her being hired full time. And she didn't want to have to worry when she started to show.

Besides...she was taking the place of a new mother as it was.

You'd think they wouldn't mind at all.

She inspects her new indigo satiny blouse, her black pinstripe slacks, and medium strappy heels. Giving herself one final once-over in her freshly washed car window. Her gaze climbs back up to her bob (not a hair out of place) and her new helix piercing. Thankfully it was tasteful. She would put her foot down if the girls suggested a lip piercing.

Her heels clack against the gravel of the parking lot, sparing one last longing look at her used and abused sedan. She never wanted to give it up, but...maybe it was time.

You're supposed to dress for where you want to go in life. So why would a car be any different? It was antiquated and didn't really belong with her new looks and her new lifestyle.

She laughs to herself as she thinks, _'Maybe I should trade it in for a motorcycle. Haru would get a kick out of that.'_

"Fujioka Someina, is it?" Asks a woman with old Hollywood ginger locks at the front desk. "You're more than welcome to help yourself to some coffee and snacks in the break room. Anastasia will call you back once she finishes up with her client, hon."

"Ok, thank you." Someina moves past the children's waiting room and pulls open a heavy opaque glass door. And she gasps at the strong smell of vanilla coffee and freshly toasted bagels as it drifts out of the room. As her stomach rumbled she realized how perfectly it whet her appetite.

Was she already having cravings?

Eh. At least they were normal.

She pours herself a paper cup of the smooth coffee blend before plucking two coffee stirrers to mix in raw sugar and Coldstone creamer.

The break room was cozy and inviting with its warm lighting and brown toned walls. She sinks into a plush leather chair that conforms to her weight in a way that feels so comfortable she's not sure if she can get up.

As she takes a small, brave sip of her steaming coffee, a man sweeps into the room. His gait is graceful and quiet, smooth and careful as he grabs a couple of Boston Cream donuts for himself.

"Have you tried this coffee?" He startles, looking at her with a puzzled expression. As if expecting no one to say a word to him ever. "Its phenomenal."

His auburn eyes bore into her with vague recognition, before they fall to his uneaten donuts tucked between several napkins. "Not yet. Its my first day working here so I thought drinking coffee would just make my jitters worse."

She breathes a sigh of relief in finding someone else just as wet behind the ears as she was. Especially someone she already met through Uo. "Same here." She wraps both her hands tightly around her cup to warm them, finding the air conditioner a tad too cold even in the midst of May. "You're welcome to sit with me."

A smile spreads over his lips, his lanky and tall form falling into the seat across from her. He crosses one leg over the other and suddenly all her brain can tabulate about him is the fact he displays extreme model behavior. The way he carries himself, his soft red hair, his height and long legs.

"Thank you. I'm going to be taking over the next shift for the woman at the desk."

Wow.

Was there a requirement that the clerks and secretaries have red hair or what?

"We don't really talk but should I be calling you Sohma?" She tilts her head. "Or do you prefer Kureno?"

"Kureno is fine," he replies cheekily. "Your outfit is a lovely color for you, by the way. Uo always talks up your fashion sense."

This takes her aback. "Arisa Uotani? She likes _my_ outfits?"

The door suddenly opens, and the sweet lady at the front desk sticks her head in. "Alright, you can come on back Miss Fujioka. And I'll be clocking out in ten, Sohma."

He nods and she stands, slinging her purse over her shoulder while being careful not to spill her drink.

"Hey, um...Fujioka—"

"Someina," she corrects.

"Would you like to have lunch here if our schedules cross again, Someina? I could use a friend. Especially on the first day at a new job."

All tension completely melted from her shoulders, she beams. Hopeful that today wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Its a date! As friends, of course."

...

Someina comes to a stop at a large door at the end of the hallway, right next to the bubbling fish tank as Ginger (the front desk woman's name is actually Ginger, what are the odds?) said it would be.

Her insides pinch with her sharp inhale, forcing out a calming breath as she stands heel to toe with her future.

_She's not going to be like Jin Liada._

_She's nothing like Jin Liada._

_This will be amazing._

_She will do amazing._

_She will—_

The door flies open and she stumbles back, almost tripping over her heel and falling flat on her butt.

"Oh my goodness!" The middle aged woman's eyes look like Bambi's from behind her large glasses. "Are you okay?"

Someina nods hurriedly, desperate to shake off the embarrassment and pretend this moment never happened. "I'm fine, its just nerves..."

She bites her lip, regretting that immediately. Because it was the exact opposite of professional.

But to her surprise the woman returns with a hearty laugh. "That's a hoot! I've been a wreck all morning. You're not my first intern but I do get nervous when mentoring and working with new pupils."

This was her second helping of reassurance today and she couldn't be more thankful.

"Take a look around, make yourself comfortable." She steps aside so Someina can walk in, her eyes sweeping her large office. "Today, we're just gonna get to know each other. I want to hear about you and tell you a bit about myself."

Her office was the size of a studio apartment in Tokyo, filled with paints, an easel, and a stereo. It looked more like an art studio than a CBT's workplace. Especially with a wall covered in paint splatter and deflated balloons like it was ripped straight out of the first Princess Diaries.

"Ah, the good old paint station." The woman brings a tray over to two arm chairs poised in front of a floor to ceiling window that overlooks Tokyo's proudest skylines. And she pours tea into a cup that had light blue design of a mother and daughter in winter garments. "That's for my clients that need a healthier release than the bottom of a wine bottle. Or a less painful alternative than putting their fist through a wall."

Someina's eyes widen at this, seating herself in the chair opposite the woman. "Do most of them have a violent streak?"

She leans back with her tea, crossing one ankle over the other. "Da. I work with many different people from all walks of life. But the anger and unchecked aggression is all too commonplace."

Someina gulps down half of her coffee, starting to buzz with energy. "You said 'da.' Do you speak Russian?"

Anastasia puffs out her chest, a smirk pulling back her smile lines. "Do I speak Russian? Its my first language, devushka. I was born and half raised in the coldest, smallest crawl space of Uglich . My mother would be rolling in her grave if she knew I lost my accent since coming over here."

"When did you put down roots in Tokyo? If you don't mind me asking..."

She waves that off. "Bah. That's what today is all about. As for when...it was forty or some odd years ago. My father wanted me to get away from the dangerous neighborhood and the bad politics of the time. And he had family out here in Tokyo that had a free room available." She chuckles, reflecting on the memories of her childhood. "It was cramped and wasn't enough to house a family of seven. But we made it work... there were a lot of arguments, in Russian and in Japanese. But there was also so much laughter, Fujioka. I miss those times." She twirls her finger around the rim of her cup. "Now one of my sisters has long since passed with my parents. But my brother and older sister are always around my home."

She stares into the brown liquid, her lips downturned in a hard expression. "The sister that passed...she was the baby of the family. She got the most attention and the most love."

Someina nods along, practically writing the book on that story.

"Unfortunately...it made me green with envy. I developed a hate for her so strong we didn't talk for five years. And next thing I know, she gets rear ended when someone falls asleep at the wheel. And then those five years of not speaking...they become eternity."

Someina's heart shatters, drowning in pain and sympathy for this older, mirrored version of herself.

What if something happens to Caramel? Or herself? What if they both die hating and misunderstanding each other? The thought was enough to send her into a near panic attack.

"This..." The salt and pepper haired woman closes her eyes, aged by deep seated regrets. "This is why I become CBT. To break this cycle of bitterness in other people. To help them get delivered of the illness and pains in their bodies that come from unforgiveness." She reopens her grey eyes, a seriousness to them that was chilling.

"You understand?"

Someina opens her mouth to say 'yes' but when the words don't come, she settles for agreeing non-verbally.

She understood...too well.

"Enough about me for now." She switches her tone, like changing the gear shift from reverse to drive. "I want to hear about the impressive Fujioka Someina. I saw on your resume that you worked with Jin."

Someina blows out a telling breath that raises Anastasia's eyebrows. "That doesn't sound good."

"I mean... didn't you see the news about what happened? I want to distance myself from that situation as much as possible."

She turns her hand from side to side. "I'm well aware of my former peer's foolish conduct. But I wasn't asking because _he_ wowed me. _You're_ really what surprised me."

Someina jabs her thumb at her chest. "Me? If anything, I'd think you'd be questioning my judgement in choosing to work with him."

The Russian doll of a woman snorts as she grasps the kettle to help herself to more. "Actually, you have guts. Many people were too scared to work with him because of his prestige. But you shot for the moon and I like that." She holds up the lonely cup she hadn't drank out of. "Tea?"

Someina shakes her head, pointing at her almost empty paper cup.

"What was I saying? Oh...da. Even though it ended in a meltdown, I'm glad to know you're willing to challenge yourself and leap bounds. That's exactly what I'm looking for in an intern. Your responsibilities are quite extensive, but the pay is decent and I think I might want to keep you around if you excel."

Someina does a little dance in her seat, bouncing with excitement and released nerves. "Really? Um...what would you have me do, exactly? Dr Liada had me proving myself to him so I didn't really get a chance to learn the ropes."

Anastasia shakes her head with ferocious disappointment. "Jin squandered your potential. You seem far too brilliant for what he had you doing. With me you will have some of the run of the mill counselor tasks; group and individual counseling supervision, intakes, referrals. And then there's the really fun stuff—crisis intervention and psych assessments. If you stick around long enough, outreach will be on your radar as well."

That sounded like a lot.

The ex-ballerina sits up in her seat, switching back to focused and determined. "Understood. Is there anything in particular you want to start me with today?"

She smacks her lips and considers this. "I'd like us to hit the ground running, but I think we should ease you in for today." She polishes off the rest of her lemon and ginger before setting the cup back in its rightful place. "Tell you what...I'll take you on a tour of the offices while you tell me a bit about your background. And then we can focus on referrals and intakes for today. Tomorrow, once I have the authorization of my clients, I will work it out so that you can sit in on sessions with me and learn your way. Sound good?"

She smiles, taking in the grandmotherly way Anastasia talks to her. How she's draped her long sweater over herself like a woman waiting at the bus stop for her children to get on in the early morning.

It was a complete 360 from the cold, callous, stern Jin Liada who demanded the world and expected it on his desk in under five minutes.

She felt _great_ about this.

"Sounds great."

...

Haru squats to clean the face of the oven with glass cleaner, freeing it of its streaks and sending a lemony aroma wafting through the apartment.

"Is this some kind of belated spring cleaning?" Someina asks, shocking him to the point he's forced to stop scrubbing as the sponge drops to the floor. "I would help you out if I didn't have some take home referrals to work on."

"I'm trying to get the place ready before my mom drops by. She's the first to comment on something if its dusty or out of place."

Someina can almost hear a record scratch inside her brain at his announcement.

"Your mom? Here...? Were you ever planning to tell me beforehand?"

He sighs and gets to his feet, stretching achy and tired muscle. "I thought I did but I must have forgotten. I've been sacked with things left and right and losing sleep..." He moves around the bar where he took his pills in front of her the first time. And he curls his arms around her waist, giving her a long kiss on the cheek...her ear...the back of her neck.

"I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted," she says, her hand moving to cradle the back of his head. "I just wish I wasn't terrified of what she might think about me. Or Kaiko."

He begrudgingly breaks the embrace. Tossing the used paper towel into the trash. "I would say you have nothing to be concerned about, but I wouldn't lie to you. My mother can be cold blooded and judgmental."

Someina throws her hands up, wanting to laugh in a not so funny way. "Cool, cool. Sounds just like my mom. I know _just_ how to act around people like her."

Yeah, she could be old Someina for a night. If it would help her survive long enough to have the woman out of her hair...then she would do what it took.

But then again...she's come too far and made too much progress to regress now. What kind of example would she be setting for Kaiko? Being a social chameleon that adapted to suit whoever she was with, even if it meant toning down who she was.

"Actually," Someina declares, shoulders rolled back, "She can take me or leave me. I'm done bending over backwards to please people. Its time they learned acceptance for a change."

Haru smirks, wanting to kiss that daring and determined look right off her face. "That's my girl."

A sharp knock falls against the door followed by a mature woman's voice, "Its your mother, Hatsuharu. You know how I feel about having to wait."

He exchanges a look with Someina, expelling a steadying breath. "Ready, Princess?"

She smiles, turning to march to the front door. Completely unaware of Haru's surprised gaze as it burned into her.

"Som?"

"I'll do one better and get the door myself. I'm facing her head on."

He shifts behind her for support anyway. Not sure if either of them were equipped enough to hold their own against his mother.

She pulls open the door and as her eyes scroll over the woman in her brown mink coat, pearls, and luxurious black dress. She blurts the first thing that comes to mind.

"You're sensational, Miss Sohma. Like...actually gorgeous."

To both their surprise, his mom takes it in stride with a plum lipstick smile. "You're simply saying that because its true. I must say that you look lovely yourself, dear."

She takes Someina's hands and spins into the foyer, examining her from head to toe. "Your lovely black and white floral skirt that looks like it was dreamed by Ted Baker himself...the cut looks like a beautiful downturned tulip. And your hair! It looks as immaculately styled and classy as Chanel. You're a welcomed sight."

Haru just stands there, gaping after them as they chatter on their way into the living room. Wondering who she was and what she did with his mother. Because this breezy, go with the flow person was not the same giving him grief about his hard breakup.

"Haru! I brought a photo album!" She calls, lighting up when he joins them. "But more importantly, I'm ready to see my grandbaby. Where is she?"

Someina rises up from the couch with a bow, prepared to excuse herself. "She's doing her homework in her room, but I'll go get here for you." She scurries off to do just that and Haru looks just to make sure she's really down the hall before he launches into his mother.

"Mom, are you feeling alright? You're never this nice to new people I introduce you to."

She tuts and clasps her hands together. "I beg your pardon? I scope out people that will be doing business with my son because I want to know their intentions. This girl is different. Not only is she already permanently in the family because of your daughter, I'm very close to her mother."

Haru's eyebrows fly up to his forehead. "What?"

She removes her Breakfast at Tiffany's black, Kentucky derby hat and sets it on the coffee table, fluffing her curls. "Fujiokas are as wealthy as our family, son. You know this."

Actually, it wasn't something he thought about at all. Neither of them were keen on their families or the money that was attached to their name. But the last thing he expected was to hear about Som's intimidating family.

"How long have you known them?"

She pauses in fixing her hair and lowers her gaze at him. "Ten years strong. Have you not paid attention at the family functions and sponsor dinners?"

"No...I always stayed back, remember?"

"Of course you did." She wrinkles her nose in distaste. "You always bucked at tradition and schmoozing. Its no wonder you're stuck in a dead end blue collar job and still in school."

Ah, there she is. The mother he recognized. Grueling on a good day and downright cruel if she felt someone was threatening her way of life as she knew it.

Before he can show her the door, Someina strides back over. Nothing obvious to indicate whether or not she heard any of their conversation.

"Kaiko, there's somebody I'd like you to meet." She points at Haru's mom, smiling. "That's your grandmother. Your dad's mom."

Kaiko's mouth forms an O as the woman beckons her to come close.

"Come here and give grandma some sugar," she says, causing Kaiko to grin and run into her arms. And she gets squeezed tight.

"Grandma! You smell like peppermint!"

She laughs, leaning back so that she holds Kaiko at arm's length. "That's because I always carry some in my purse. Would you like one?"

Kaiko spins around to check with her mother. "Mom, can I? I haven't had dinner."

Haru's mother looks appalled. "No dinner? That's no good for a growing girl."

Someina laughs nervously, shrinking down a little. "I just got home from my second day at work, so I haven't had a moment to prepare it. She can have a peppermint in the meantime while I get it ready. Its a kind gesture, Miss Sohma."

"Is this an invitation to have me for dinner?" The regal woman asks as she rummages through her Mark Cross Grace Plexi Box Bag. "Because I always pair my meals with my favorite wine. A Cheval Blanc."

"Oh, you prefer white? Actually...its interesting you mention that one. I remember my mother loving her vintage wines. And that one sounds familiar."

Haru's mom nods with a half chuckle, finally dropping a wrapped candy into Kaiko's waiting palm. "It should. Your mother and I would walk our family's vineyard and have wine in our maze of a garden. We would let it breathe while we felt the sun on our faces."

Someina's blood runs cold. "Wait a second... you're friends with my mother?"

"Of course! We're very close." She tosses a thumb in Haru's general direction. "My son was just as surprised when I told him."

Someina looks to Haru for confirmation and he gives a short, infinitesimal nod. And its like all the fun evaporates right out of the atmosphere.

"Hey, Som?" Haru grabs her elbow gently, pulling her along. "Why don't we get started on dinner while Kaiko spends time with her grandmother? That'll give them some time to talk."

Once they're finally sequestered to the kitchen, Haru opens his arms to her. Seeing the sadness and hurt welling up in her eyes. "Come here."

She throws herself into his embrace and presses her nose into his chest. Just trying to breathe and compose herself. She wanted to be the calm, cool, collected person that didn't freak out at things like this. But she was rattled. And it was hard to shake.

He places a loving kiss into her hair before pulling back to study her expression. Seeing that she still looked distraught but a little less shaken, he crosses the room to root around in the cabinets for dishes. "Let's get your mind off it. What are you thinking for dinner? Western cuisine? Traditional? Extravagant or simple?"

She sniffs, wiping at her nose with her arm. And she hates the way pity weighed down his handsome face. Knowing she's what put it there.

"Ramen with boiled egg and miso for the three of us," she says, softly. "Maybe we should order fancy takeout for your mother. Expensive wine doesn't pair well with cheap ramen."

He shoves a gigantic pot under the faucet and flicks it to its hottest setting. "Nah. She can slum it like the rest of us. Even though she's my mother, she has no right to make demands or turn her nose up in our home."

Someina gulps a large breath of air.

_'Our home.'_

"Consider me your sous chef," he adds with a wink.

She wraps her arms around his torso from behind, nuzzling into him. "Thank you."

He shuts off the water and angles his head towards her. "Huh? What for?"

She shrugs, even though she knows the answer. "For everything."

...

Once dinner is hot and ready, they all find seats around the table. Someina straps Kaiko into her booster seat while Haru helps his mom into her chair at the head of the table. Once he pushes her in, she kicks off her pumps and lays her napkin over her lap.

"How's that foot of yours? Its not still hurting is it?"

"You know it was already rehabilitated four months ago. Though there are still painful flare-ups every now and again." She grimaces at the mere inconvenience. "It doesn't keep me back from my duties as your father's wife, though."

His father's wife.

That's how she always referred to herself when it came to their marriage. Like it was all she was and all that people would pay attention to. It was sad, really.

And he refused to make anyone suffer the label 'Hatsuharu's wife,' as their only form of address, rather than their own name. Like it was an obligation or a job.

A burden.

"I am kind of curious now." Haru tucks into his meal, slurping a spicy noodle with his chopsticks. "You told me that you found out about Kaiko through Rin. But if you're that good of a friend to Miss Fujioka, wouldn't _she_ have told you?"

Someina forces her gaze down into her lap.

Not at all prepared for either of those conversations.

They hadn't talked Rin which was scary enough.

They hadn't discussed her pregnancy which felt like a daunting nightmare.

But her parents not mentioning her?

It was just another knife being driven into an already bleeding wound.

His mother gives him a withering look that would have ended a lesser man. Not one to be embarrassed in front of company. "Her parents have chosen to disown her, son. They deemed their granddaughter as a shame brought upon their family name. And while I'm not satisfied with a child being born out of wedlock...I do not agree with their method."

She reaches her hand across the table, placing it over Someina's. She jumps in her seat and stares at her with wide and unexpecting eyes.

"They were absolutely in the wrong for that, Someina. And I know that it probably doesn't mean anything to you...but I would like to tell you that I'm sorry. On behalf of my friend who cared more for her reputation than she did for you."

_Ouch._

It was true, but still...

_Ouch._

She takes Haru's other hand in hers, giving it a loving squeeze. "As disappointed as I am in your choices, you're still my son at the end of the day. And one thing I will say that I love...is the granddaughter you brought into my life. Thank you."

He wasn't sure if this was a sudden change of heart or something he'd overlooked underneath all the anger. Her statements had bite to them when discussing his future, his career, his love life. She was hard on him in a way no one else was. And she did have a way of bulldozing boundaries and dipping into business that was solely his.

But one thing he never doubted was the fact that she loved him.

She might have expressed it in all the wrong ways.

But she did.

"Now...if you'll excuse me." She stands, dabbing at the mascara staining her under eyes as her tears made it run. "I would like to use your ladies room. Where is it?"

Haru points behind him. "Just across the hall."

Someina falls back against her chair, blowing her bangs out of her eyes with a huff.

"Are you tired, mama?" Kaiko asks, kicking her legs from beneath the table as she picked at the boiled egg in her bowl.

She scrunches up her nose, shakes her head. "Yes, but I'm okay Kaiko-cake." She looks at Haru then. "Really...I feel more refreshed now."

He taps his thumb ring against the table, unable to hold back how pleased he is to hear that. This dinner was almost as brutal as the one he had with Hatori when he was still her boyfriend. The only thing that could outdo that dinner was some bad news or for his mom to say something really out of pocket.

Because she'd kicked off her shoes, they don't hear her approaching footsteps. So when she reappears with a look like she just hit the jackpot at the casino with all 7's, they don't know how to react.

"I guess congratulations are in order!" She trots around to Someina, grabbing ahold of her shoulders in excitement. "I was just talking about the fact you made me a grandmother. But twice?" She leans over and pecks her on the cheek.

Haru swallows hard.

He looks from Someina to Kaiko to his mother.

"What are you talking about?"

He expects Someina to look just as lost as he feels. But she's sunken down into herself. Like she was culpable of something. And in a way she _was_ guilty of omission.

Miss Sohma plants her hands on her hips with a smile like she was in on the joke that no one had made. "Don't act like you don't know, Hatsuharu. I saw the pregnancy test in the trash! Its positive, dear."

His eyes swing towards his girlfriend, shock blending with betrayal. He stands as if in slow motion and his vision tunnels as he watches it flash all over her face.

"I was scared, Haru. And overwhelmed." Her voice breaks as she shoves her face into her hands. "I know I was being stupid and selfish. But I meant to tell you when we could both sit down and talk. Not catching you between work and carpool."

"Maybe I should head home," his mother says, slipping back into her shoes and snagging her purse. "I didn't mean to...I wasn't trying to meddle. I assumed you knew."

Haru grips the back of the chairs, hanging his head between his shoulders. "I need to speak to Someina. Alone."

She wants to sob at the way her full name sounded so cold and detached. Her stomach was waving like a boat on a stormy ocean.

"A-Alright," Miss Sohma says, looking sympathetic at Someina as she held herself. "But don't be hard on the girl. I know it takes two to make a baby...but its also extremely personal for the mother. And she has her reasons." She takes her leave and the front door closes with a deafening silence. Leaving just the three of them.

"Hey, Kaiko..." Someina wipes at her damp cheeks, taking in a shuddery breath. "Why don't you go finish your homework? I'll be there soon."

Kaiko's lip quivers. Hating to see her mother cry, especially not understanding why. "But mama—"

She brushes her thumb over her lip. "Go on, sweetie."

Kaiko kisses her mom on the cheek before glancing at her father. Receiving a serious nod before she hurries off to her room.

Haru runs his hands through his hair, sighing.

"Someina, I just don't get it. Why wouldn't you tell me? Did you think I would be mad?"

She remembers his dusty fireplace mantle.

His reaction when she told him she might not want anymore children.

"No...but Haru this is terrifying to me." Her breaths grow short as thoughts whir around in her head. "I don't ever want to get depressed like I did then. My thoughts were _dark_ , Haru. And I hated being a mother during that time even though I wish I didn't."

Maybe she just wasn't ready to accept that this was happening again.

He kneels down beside her, taking her hands in his as her body shakes with her quiet cries. He brings their joined hands up to his lips, feeling nothing but pain and sadness at how heartbroken she looked.

"Som, I know you're scared. And I understand why. But there's differences between that version of you and the current one. And you know something?"

"...what?"

"I will be there every step of the way. You're not handling this alone this time." He smiles, kissing her hand once more. "At any appointment, during every happy moment, every potential sad one...Just like you promised to support me no matter how ugly it gets."

"I know," her voice squeaks out, her eyes still lowered. Too ashamed to face him.

He bumps her lightly on the chin with his thumb wearing an encouraging smile of his own. And the tension drains from her body when she sees how passionate he is. "You have me, Kaiko, your friends, your therapist. Maybe you won't deal with depression episodes this time. But if you do...you've got so many people backing you that you'll never be alone again."

She sags against him, enjoying the feeling of being held. Toying with the ideal and the hope that this new experience would be her favorite one.

...

Haru and Som got...a bit ahead of themselves. And their checking account. They had to notify the bank that the sudden surge of activity wasn't fraudulent or the result of a lapse in sanity so their card wouldn't be declined at the baby emporium.

Someina balked at the long receipt before jamming it into the recesses of her purse.

Had babies gotten more expensive? Or did stores start price gouging because they knew something she didn't about popular times people were conceiving? Honestly, it wouldn't be a surprise if they did track trends like those.

"Haru, do you think we're jumping on this too soon?" Someina asks as they start unloading the bags and bags of stuff. "My ultrasound isn't even for a few more days and I'm already shopping for maternity clothes and diapers..."

He pauses midway, his teeth leaving bite marks as he tore off the tag on a stack of bibs. "I guess we did get carried away."

She purses her lips, clears her throat. "We?"

He scratches the back of his head in the most adorably sheepish way. "Ok, I did. I'm just...excited. This is my first time being apart of this process. And—" he slides his hand down to rub the back of his neck, looking shy for the first time in his life. "I don't want to miss out on anything."

She can't help it.

She melted at his genuine desire to be there and his excitement only made her excited. The prospect of giving Kaiko a little brother or sister had crossed her mind once or twice in her past relationships. But it came up much more often since she and Haru became exclusive.

Now...she didn't know what to think or feel outside of hopeful because _he_ was hopeful.

"Som," he begins, his eyes dancing with appreciation. "I deeply admire you for not only being a loving mother, but a wonderful woman. And I'm thankful you gave me such a precious piece of you...of your soul. And that its bringing us another baby." He crosses the room and loops his arms around her, biceps flexing as he held her tight. "Thank you for letting me back in."

She places her hands on his forearms and smiles up at him. "Thank you for—" Her stomach interrupts with an alarming gurgling sound. At the decibels of a jet engine with the sharp pain of a one-two punch.

"I feel like I'm gonna throw up." She breaks out of his arms and races to the bathroom, Haru quick to follow in case it was serious. He hated the thought of her feeling miserable alone.

When she finishes she collapses back against the bathroom cabinets. Her eyes on Haru as he crouches in front of her and swipes her hair out of her eyes.

"Are you feeling better?"

She nods and he pulls her against him, allowing her a moment to close her eyes.

"There are some things I actually enjoyed about being pregnant. But this?"

"Yeah?"

She laughs, tired. "This isn't one of them."

...

A few days after their shopping spree, Haru and Someina were at their first appointment. As he held her hand in the waiting room while they watched a fixer upper show it felt right. Like this was how her first pregnancy might have gone had he been able to be involved. And as she watched a woman waddle out of the exam room with a belly bump, she ran her fingers over her own flat stomach. Imagining what it would be like to have that again.

She wanted to focus on the good aspects.

The beautiful sides to motherhood.

And as she went through the motions of the examinations, that's exactly what she repeated to herself.

_Motherhood is beautiful._

_Motherhood is beautiful._

_Motherhood is beautiful._

"You aren't pregnant, Miss Fujioka."

That statement washes the room in sobering silence. Because of all things you expect to hear at your first ultrasound after a positive pregnancy test, that isn't one of them.

Someina sputters as her mind tries desperately to formulate an explanation.

Unable to find anything but denial.

"But...I don't understand. I threw up."

"That was most likely due to stress, not morning sickness." The woman sweeps her curtain of black, shampoo commercial hair off her shoulder. Far too beautiful to be delivering such awful news. "Based on your ultrasound, pelvic exam, and lab readings...it seems that its a case of pseudocyesis. The Greek derivatives translate to false and pregnancy."

Someina's hand drops at her side at the same time that her heart drops to her stomach. Though now she knows her heart was falling into an empty cavern with no baby inside.

Haru blows out a breath, rubbing his palms over his jean covered thighs. "So what does that mean exactly? You said she's not actually pregnant?"

"To abbreviate, yes. Its what we call a false positive in laymen terms. It can actually mimic a real pregnancy which could have also caused your symptoms. Like the nausea, the missed periods, and fatigue." Dr Yamamoto pumps hand sanitizer into her hands, rubs them together. "Its extremely rare but it does happen."

Someina turns to face the wall beside her, blinking back tears.

She wasn't sure about anything before she thought she was pregnant.

But now she felt more confused than ever.

She felt crushed.

All she knew was that this was a loss...even though it was something she never even had.

"What is your...?" Haru's voice cracks. He clears his throat before trying again. "What is your treatment plan? Why did this happen? What do we do?"

Dr Yamamoto's heart breaks for the couple.

But all she could do was supply them with facts and science.

There were no words comforting enough that either of them would be willing to hear right now.

"We can offer up hormone treatments if she has been experiencing any imbalances. If the mind believes a baby is on the way, it starts to produce different chemicals and prepare the body even though it is a phantom pregnancy.

"As for the cause, it can be hard to pin down. It could be a strong enough subconscious desire to be pregnant that affected your endocrine system and imitated those symptoms. Depressive disorders are also linked to pseudocyesis." She flips the pages on her clipboard, her eyes bouncing from line to line. "Your medical history is indicative of postnatal depression, so its possible that was the contributing factor."

So it was her fault?

Someina swallows back a sob, wilting under the anger and sadness swirling inside of her.

She wished Haru's mom hadn't forced her hand.

She wished she had never gotten his hopes up.

She wished he never got her on board with it, because then maybe she would have been celebrating instead of mourning.

"Som, are you okay?" Haru reaches for her shoulder, but she shifts away from his touch.

Borderline inconsolable as a gap of distance opened between them.

* * *

**This is probably the fastest I've updated this story...ever!**

**I hope you guys likeee~**

**And Happy December 1st! A.K.A Christmas 1st lol**

**Thank you for your continued support, and I shall see ya'll for the next one!**

**Byeeeeee :3**


End file.
